One afternoon in early September Sam
got on a westward-bound train intending to visit his
sister on the farm near Caxton. For years he had
heard nothing from Kate, but she had, he knew, two
daughters, and he thought he would do something for
them.
“I will put them on the Virginia
farm and make a will leaving them my money,”
he thought. “Perhaps I shall be able to
make them happy by setting them up in life and giving
them beautiful clothes to wear.”
At St. Louis he got off the train,
thinking vaguely that he would see an attorney and
make arrangements about the will, and for several days
stayed about the Planters Hotel with a set of drinking
companions he had picked up. One afternoon he
began going from place to place drinking and gathering
companions. An ugly light was in his eyes and
he looked at men and women passing in the streets,
feeling that he was in the midst of enemies, and that
for him the peace, contentment, and good cheer that
shone out of the eyes of others was beyond getting.
In the late afternoon, followed by
a troop of roistering companions, he came out upon
a street flanked with small, brick warehouses facing
the river, where steamboats lay tied to floating docks.
“I want a boat to take me and
my crowd for a cruise up and down the river,”
he announced, approaching the captain of one of the
boats. “Take us up and down the river until
we are tired of it. I will pay what it costs.”
It was one of the days when drink
would not take hold of him, and he went among his
companions, buying drinks and thinking himself a fool
to continue furnishing entertainment for the vile
crew that sat about him on the deck of the boat.
He began shouting and ordering them about.
“Sing louder,” he commanded,
tramping up and down and scowling at his companions.
A young man of the party who had a
reputation as a dancer refused to perform when commanded.
Springing forward Sam dragged him out on the deck
before the shouting crowd.
“Now dance!” he growled,
“or I will throw you into the river.”
The young man danced furiously, and
Sam marched up and down and looked at him and at the
leering faces of the men and women lounging along the
deck or shouting at the dancer. The liquor in
him beginning to take effect, a queerly distorted
version of his old passion for reproduction came to
him and he raised his hand for silence.
“I want to see a woman who is
a mother,” he shouted. “I want to
see a woman who has borne children.”
A small woman with black hair and
burning black eyes sprang from the group gathered
about the dancer.
“I have borne children—three
of them,” she said, laughing up into his face.
“I can bear more of them.”
Sam looked at her stupidly and taking
her by the arm led her to a chair on the deck.
The crowd laughed.
“Belle is after his roll,”
whispered a short, fat man to his companion, a tall
woman with blue eyes.
As the steamer, with its load of men
and women drinking and singing songs, went up the
river past bluffs covered with trees, the woman beside
Sam pointed to a row of tiny houses at the top of
the bluffs.
“My children are there.
They are getting supper now,” she said.
She began singing, laughing and waving
a bottle to the others sitting along the deck.
A youth with heavy features stood upon a chair and
sang a song of the street, and, jumping to her feet,
Sam’s companion kept time with the bottle in
her hand. Sam walked over to where the captain
stood looking up the river.
“Turn back,” he said, “I am tired
of this crew.”
On the way back down the river the black-eyed woman
again sat beside Sam.
“We will go to my house,”
she said quietly, “just you and me. I will
show you the kids.”
Darkness was gathering over the river
as the boat turned, and in the distance the lights
of the city began blinking into view. The crowd
had grown quiet, sleeping in chairs along the deck
or gathering in small groups and talking in low tones.
The black-haired woman began to tell Sam her story.
She was, she said, the wife of a plumber who had left
her.
“I drove him crazy,” she
said, laughing quietly. “He wanted me to
stay at home with him and the kids night after night.
He used to follow me down town at night begging me
to come home. When I wouldn’t come he would
go away with tears in his eyes. It made me furious.
He wasn’t a man. He would do anything I
asked him to do. And then he ran away and left
the kids on my hands.”
In the city Sam, with the black-haired
woman beside him, rode about in an open carriage,
forgetting the children and going from place to place,
eating and drinking. For an hour they sat in a
box at the theatre, but grew tired of the performance
and climbed again into the carriage.
“We will go to my house.
I want to have you alone,” said the woman.
They drove through street after street
of workingmen’s houses, where children ran laughing
and playing under the lights, and two boys, their
bare legs flashing in the lights from the lamps overhead,
ran after them, holding to the back of the carriage.
The driver whipped the horses and
looked back laughing. The woman got up and kneeling
on the seat of the carriage laughed down into the faces
of the running boys.
“Run, you little devils,” she cried.
They held on, running furiously.
Their legs twinkled and flashed under the lights.
“Give me a silver dollar,”
she said, turning to Sam, and when he had given it
to her, threw it ringing upon the pavement under a
street lamp. The two boys darted for it, shouting
and waving their hands to her.
Swarms of huge flies and beetles circled
under the street lamps, striking Sam and the woman
in the face. One of them, a great black crawling
thing, alighted on her breast, and taking it in her
hand she crept forward and dropped it down the neck
of the driver.
In spite of his hard drinking during
the afternoon and evening, Sam’s head was clear
and a calm hatred of life burned in him. His mind
ran back over the years he had passed since breaking
his word to Sue, and a scorn of all effort burned
in him.
“It is what a man gets who goes
seeking Truth,” he thought. “He comes
to a fine end in life.”
On all sides of him life ran playing
on the pavement and leaping in the air. It circled
and buzzed and sang above his head in the summer night
there in the heart of the city. Even in the sullen
man sitting in the carriage beside the black-haired
woman it began to sing. The blood climbed through
his body; an old half-dead longing, half hunger, half
hope awoke in him, pulsating and insistent. He
looked at the laughing, intoxicated woman beside him
and a feeling of masculine approval shot through him.
He began thinking of what she had said before the
laughing crowd on the steamer.
“I have borne three children and can bear more.”
His blood, stirred by the sight of
the woman, awoke his sleeping brain, and he began
again to quarrel with life and what life had offered
him. He thought that always he would stubbornly
refuse to accept the call of life unless he could
have it on his own terms, unless he could command and
direct it as he had commanded and directed the gun
company.
“Else why am I here?”
he muttered, looking away from the vacant, laughing
face of the woman and at the broad, muscular back of
the driver on the seat in front. “Why had
I a brain and a dream and a hope? Why went I about
seeking Truth?”
His mind ran on in the vein started
by the sight of the circling beetles and the running
boys. The woman put her head upon his shoulder
and her black hair blew against his face. She
struck wildly at the circling beetles, laughing like
a child when she had caught one of them in her hand.
“Men like me are for some end.
They are not to be played with as I have been,”
he muttered, clinging to the hand of the woman, who,
also, he thought, was being tossed about by life.
Before a saloon, on a street where
cars ran, the carriage stopped. Through the open
front door Sam could see working-men standing before
a bar drinking foaming glasses of beer, the hanging
lamps above their heads throwing their black shadows
upon the floor. A strong, stale smell came out
at the door. The woman leaned over the side of
the carriage and shouted. “O Will, come
out here.”
A man clad in a long white apron and
with his shirt sleeves rolled to his elbows came from
behind the bar and talked to her, and when they had
started on she told Sam of her plan to sell her home
and buy the place.
“Will you run it?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said. “The kids
can take care of themselves.”
At the end of a little street of a
half dozen neat cottages, they got out of the carriage
and walked with uncertain steps along a sidewalk skirting
a high bluff and overlooking the river. Below
the houses a tangled mass of bushes and small trees
lay black in the moonlight, and in the distance the
grey body of the river showed faint and far away.
The undergrowth was so thick that, looking down, one
saw only the tops of the growth, with here and there
a grey outcrop of rocks that glistened in the moonlight.
Up a flight of stone steps they climbed
to the porch of one of the houses facing the river.
The woman had stopped laughing and hung heavily on
Sam’s arm, her feet groping for the steps.
They passed through a door and into a long, low-ceilinged
room. An open stairway at the side of the room
went up to the floor above, and through a curtained
doorway at the end one looked into a small dining-room.
A rag carpet lay on the floor and about a table,
under a hanging lamp at the centre, sat three children.
Sam looked at them closely. His head reeled and
he clutched at the knob of the door. A boy of
perhaps fourteen, with freckles on his face and on
the backs of his hands and with reddish-brown hair
and brown eyes, was reading aloud. Beside him
a younger boy with black hair and black eyes, and
with his knees doubled up on the chair in front of
him so that his chin rested on them, sat listening.
A tiny girl, pale and with yellow hair and dark circles
under her eyes, slept in another chair, her head hanging
uncomfortably to one side. She was, one would
have said, seven, the black-haired boy ten.
The freckle-faced boy stopped reading
and looked at the man and woman; the sleeping child
stirred uneasily in her chair, and the black-haired
boy straightened out his legs and looked over his
shoulder.
“Hello, Mother,” he said heartily.
The woman walked unsteadily to the
curtained doorway leading into the dining-room and
pulled aside the curtains.
“Come here, Joe,” she said.
The freckle-faced boy arose and went
toward her. She stood aside, supporting herself
with one hand grasping the curtain. As he passed
she struck him with her open hand on the back of the
head, sending him reeling into the dining-room.
“Now you, Tom,” she called
to the black-haired boy. “I told you kids
to wash the dishes after supper and to put Mary to
bed. Here it is past ten and nothing done and
you two reading books again.”
The black-haired boy got up and started
obediently toward her, but Sam walked rapidly past
him and clutched the woman by the arm so that she
winced and twisted in his grasp.
“You come with me,” he said.
He walked the woman across the room
and up the stairs. She leaned heavily on his
arm, laughing, and looking up into his face.
At the top of the stairway he stopped.
“We go in here,” she said, pointing to
a door.
He took her into the room. “You
get to sleep,” he said, and going out closed
the door, leaving her sitting heavily on the edge of
the bed.
Downstairs he found the two boys among
the dishes in a tiny kitchen off the dining-room.
The little girl still slept uneasily in the chair by
the table, the hot lamp-light streaming down on her
thin cheeks.
Sam stood in the kitchen door looking
at the two boys, who looked back at him self-consciously.
“Which of you two puts Mary
to bed?” he asked, and then, without waiting
for an answer, turned to the taller of the two boys.
“Let Tom do it,” he said. “I
will help you here.”
Joe and Sam stood in the kitchen at
work with the dishes; the boy, going busily about,
showed the man where to put the clean dishes, and got
him dry wiping towels. Sam’s coat was off
and his sleeves rolled up.
The work went on in half awkward silence
and a storm went on within Sam’s breast.
When the boy Joe looked shyly up at him it was as though
the lash of a whip had cut down across flesh, suddenly
grown tender. Old memories began to stir within
him and he remembered his own childhood, his mother
at work among other people’s soiled clothes,
his father Windy coming home drunk, and the chill
in his mother’s heart and in his own. There
was something men and women owed to childhood, not
because it was childhood but because it was new life
springing up. Aside from any question of fatherhood
or motherhood there was a debt to be paid.
In the little house on the bluff there
was silence. Outside the house there was darkness
and darkness lay over Sam’s spirit. The
boy Joe went quickly about, putting the dishes Sam
had wiped on the shelves. Somewhere on the river,
far below the house, a steamboat whistled. The
backs of the hands of the boy were covered with freckles.
How quick and competent the hands were. Here
was new life, as yet clean, unsoiled, unshaken by life.
Sam was shamed by the trembling of his own hands.
He had always wanted quickness and firmness within
his own body, the health of the body that is a temple
for the health of the spirit. He was an American
and down deep within himself was the moral fervor
that is American and that had become so strangely
perverted in himself and others. As so often happened
with him, when he was deeply stirred, an army of vagrant
thoughts ran through his head. The thoughts had
taken the place of the perpetual scheming and planning
of his days as a man of affairs, but as yet all his
thinking had brought him to nothing and had only left
him more shaken and uncertain then ever.
The dishes were now all wiped and
he went out of the kitchen glad to escape the shy
silent presence of the boy. “Has life quite
gone from me? Am I but a dead thing walking about?”
he asked himself. The presence of the children
had made him feel that he was himself but a child,
a grown tired and shaken child. There was maturity
and manhood somewhere abroad. Why could he not
come to it? Why could it not come into him?
The boy Tom returned from having put
his sister into bed and the two boys said good night
to the strange man in their mother’s house.
Joe, the bolder of the two, stepped forward and offered
his hand. Sam shook it solemnly and then the
younger boy came forward.
“I’ll be around here to-morrow I think,”
Sam said huskily.
The boys were gone, into the silence
of the house, and Sam walked up and down in the little
room. He was restless as though about to start
on a new journey and half unconsciously began running
his hands over his body wishing it strong and hard
as when he tramped the road. As on the day when
he had walked out of the Chicago Club bound on his
hunt for Truth, he let his mind go so that it played
freely over his past life, reviewing and analysing.
For hours he sat on the porch or walked
up and down in the room where the lamp still burned
brightly. Again the smoke from his pipe tasted
good on his tongue and all the night air had a sweetness
that brought back to him the walk beside the bridle
path in Jackson Park when Sue had given him herself,
and with herself a new impulse in life.
It was two o’clock when he lay
down upon a couch in the living-room and blew out
the light. He did not undress, but threw his shoes
on the floor and lay looking at a wide path of moonlight
that came through the open door. In the darkness
it seemed that his mind worked more rapidly and that
the events and motives of his restless years went streaming
past like living things upon the floor.
Suddenly he sat up and listened.
The voice of one of the boys, heavy with sleep, ran
through the upper part of the house.
“Mother! O Mother!”
called the sleepy voice, and Sam thought he could hear
the little body moving restlessly in bed.
Silence followed. He sat upon
the edge of the couch, waiting. It seemed to
him that he was coming to something; that his brain
that had for hours been working more and more rapidly
was about to produce the thing for which he waited.
He felt as he had felt that night as he waited in the
corridor of the hospital.
In the morning the three children
came down the stairs and finished dressing in the
long room, the little girl coming last, carrying her
shoes and stockings and rubbing her eyes with the
back of her hand. A cool morning wind blew up
from the river and through the open screened doors
as he and Joe cooked breakfast, and later as the four
of them sat at the table Sam tried to talk but did
not make much progress. His tongue was heavy
and the children seemed looking at him with strange
questioning eyes. “Why are you here?”
their eyes asked.
For a week Sam stayed in the city,
coming daily to the house. With the children
he talked a little, and in the evening, when the mother
had gone away, the little girl came to him. He
carried her to a chair on the porch outside and while
the boys sat reading under the lamp inside she went
to sleep in his arms. Her body was warm and the
breath came softly and sweetly from between her lips.
Sam looked down the bluffside and saw the country
and the river far below, sweet in the moonlight.
Tears came into his eyes. Was a new sweet purpose
growing within him or were the tears but evidence
of self pity? He wondered.
One night the black-haired woman again
came home far gone in drink, and again Sam led her
up the stairs to see her fall muttering and babbling
upon the bed. Her companion, a little flashily
dressed man with a beard, had run off at the sight
of Sam standing in the living-room under the lamp.
The two boys, to whom he had been reading, said nothing,
looking self-consciously at the book upon the table
and occasionally out of the corner of their eyes at
their new friend. In a few minutes they too went
up the stairs, and as on that first night, they put
out their hands awkwardly.
Through the night Sam again sat in
the darkness outside or lay awake on the couch.
“I will make a new try, adopt a new purpose in
life now,” he said to himself.
When the children had gone to school
the next morning, Sam took a car and went into the
city, going first to a bank to have a large draft cashed.
Then he spent many busy hours going from store to store
and buying clothes, caps, soft underwear, suit cases,
dresses, night clothes, and books. Last of all
he bought a large dressed doll. All these things
he had sent to his room at the hotel, leaving a man
there to pack the trunks and suit cases, and get them
to the station. A large, motherly-looking woman,
an employé of the hotel, who passed through the hall,
offered to help with the packing.
After another visit or two Sam got
back upon the car and went again to the house.
In his pockets he had several thousands of dollars
in large bills. He had remembered the power of
cash in deals he had made in the past.
“I will see what it will do here,” he
thought.
In the house Sam found the black-haired
woman lying on a couch in the living-room. As
he came in at the door she arose unsteadily and looked
at him.
“There’s a bottle in the
cupboard in the kitchen,” she said. “Get
me a drink. Why do you hang about here?”
Sam brought the bottle and poured
her a drink, pretending to drink with her by putting
the bottle to his lips and throwing back his head.
“What was your husband like?” he asked.
“Who? Jack?” she
said. “Oh, he was all right. He was
stuck on me. He stood for anything until I brought
men home here. Then he got crazy and went away.”
She looked at Sam and laughed.
“I didn’t care much for
him,” she added. “He couldn’t
make money enough for a live woman.”
Sam began talking of the saloon she intended buying.
“The children will be a bother, eh?” he
said.
“I have an offer for the house,”
she said. “I wish I didn’t have the
kids. They are a nuisance.”
“I have been figuring that out,”
Sam told her. “I know a woman in the East
who would take them and raise them. She is wild
about kids. I should like to do something to
help you. I might take them to her.”
“In the name of Heaven, man,
lead them away,” she laughed, and took another
drink from the bottle.
Sam drew from his pocket a paper he
had secured from a downtown attorney.
“Get a neighbour in here to
witness this,” he said. “The woman
will want things regular. It releases you from
all responsibility for the kids and puts it on her.”
She looked at him suspiciously.
“What’s the graft? Who gets stuck
for the fares down east?”
Sam laughed and going to the back
door shouted to a man who sat under a tree back of
the next house smoking a pipe.
“Sign here,” he said,
putting the paper before her. “Here is your
neighbour to sign as witness. You do not get stuck
for a cent.”
The woman, half drunk, signed the
paper, after a long doubtful look at Sam, and when
she had signed and had taken another drink from the
bottle lay down again on the couch.
“If any one wakes me up for
the next six hours they will get killed,” she
declared. It was evident she knew little of what
she had done, but at the moment Sam did not care.
He was again a bargainer, ready to take an advantage.
Vaguely he felt that he might be bargaining for an
end in life, for purpose to come into his own life.
Sam went quietly down the stone steps
and along the little street at the brow of the hill
to the car tracks, and at noon was waiting in an automobile
outside the door of the schoolhouse when the children
came out.
He drove across the city to the Union
Station, the three children accepting him and all
he did without question. At the station they found
the man from the hotel with the trunks and with three
bright new suit cases. Sam went to the express
office and putting several bills into an envelope
sealed and sent it to the woman while the three children
walked up and down in the train shed carrying the
cases, aglow with the pride of them.
At two o’clock Sam, with the
little girl in his arms and with one of the boys seated
on either side of him, sat in a stateroom of a New
York flyer —bound for Sue.