THE SICK SOUL
At our last meeting, we considered
the healthy-minded temperament, the temperament which
has a constitutional incapacity for prolonged suffering,
and in which the tendency to see things optimistically
is like a water of crystallization in which the individual’s
character is set. We saw how this temperament
may become the basis for a peculiar type of religion,
a religion in which good, even the good of this world’s
life, is regarded as the essential thing for a rational
being to attend to. This religion directs him
to settle his scores with the more evil aspects of
the universe by systematically declining to lay them
to heart or make much of them, by ignoring them in
his reflective calculations, or even, on occasion,
by denying outright that they exist. Evil is
a disease; and worry over disease is itself an additional
form of disease, which only adds to the original complaint.
Even repentance and remorse, affections which come
in the character of ministers of good, may be but
sickly and relaxing impulses. The best repentance
is to up and act for righteousness, and forget that
you ever had relations with sin.
Spinoza’s philosophy has this
sort of healthy-mindedness woven into the heart of
it, and this has been one secret of its fascination.
He whom Reason leads, according to Spinoza, is led
altogether by the influence over his mind of good.
Knowledge of evil is an “inadequate”
knowledge, fit only for slavish minds. So Spinoza
categorically condemns repentance. When men make
mistakes, he says—
“One might perhaps expect gnawings
of conscience and repentance to help to bring them
on the right path, and might thereupon conclude (as
every one does conclude) that these affections are
good things. Yet when we look at the matter closely,
we shall find that not only are they not good, but
on the contrary deleterious and evil passions.
For it is manifest that we can always get along better
by reason and love of truth than by worry of conscience
and remorse. Harmful are these and evil, inasmuch
as they form a particular kind of sadness; and the
disadvantages of sadness,” he continues, “I
have already proved, and shown that we should strive
to keep it from our life. Just so we should
endeavor, since uneasiness of conscience and remorse
are of this kind of complexion, to flee and shun these
states of mind.”[66]
[66] Tract on God, Man, and Happiness,
Book ii. ch. x.
Within the Christian body, for which
repentance of sins has from the beginning been the
critical religious act, healthy-mindedness has always
come forward with its milder interpretation.
Repentance according to such healthy- minded Christians
means GETTING AWAY FROM the sin, not groaning and
writhing over its commission. The Catholic practice
of confession and absolution is in one of its aspects
little more than a systematic method of keeping healthy-
mindedness on top. By it a man’s accounts
with evil are periodically squared and audited, so
that he may start the clean page with no old debts
inscribed. Any Catholic will tell us how clean
and fresh and free he feels after the purging operation.
Martin Luther by no means belonged to the healthy-minded
type in the radical sense in which we have discussed
it, and he repudiated priestly absolution for sin.
Yet in this matter of repentance he had some very
healthy- minded ideas, due in the main to the largeness
of his conception of God.
“When I was a monk,” he
says “I thought that I was utterly cast away,
if at any time I felt the lust of the flesh:
that is to say, if I felt any evil motion, fleshly
lust, wrath, hatred, or envy against any brother.
I assayed many ways to help to quiet my conscience,
but It would not be; for the concupiscence and lust
of my flesh did always return, so that I could not
rest, but was continually vexed with these thoughts:
This or that sin thou hast committed: thou
art infected with envy, with impatiency, and such
other sins: therefore thou art entered into this
holy order in vain, and all thy good works are unprofitable.
But if then I had rightly understood these sentences
of Paul: ’The flesh lusteth contrary to
the Spirit, and the Spirit contrary to the flesh;
and these two are one against another, so that ye
cannot do the things that ye would do,’ I should
not have so miserably tormented myself, but should
have thought and said to myself, as now commonly I
do, ’Martin, thou shalt not utterly be without
sin, for thou hast flesh; thou shalt therefore feel
the battle thereof.’ I remember that Staupitz
was wont to say, ’I have vowed unto God above
a thousand times that I would become a better man:
but I never performed that which I vowed. Hereafter
I will make no such vow: for I have now learned
by experience that I am not able to perform it.
Unless, therefore, God be favorable and merciful
unto me for Christ’s sake, I shall not be able,
with all my vows and all my good deeds, to stand before
him.’ This (of Staupitz’s) was not
only a true, but also a godly and a holy desperation;
and this must they all confess, both with mouth and
heart, who will be saved. For the godly trust
not to their own righteousness. They look unto
Christ their reconciler who gave his life for their
sins. Moreover, they know that the remnant of
sin which is in their flesh is not laid to their charge,
but freely pardoned. Notwithstanding, in the
mean while they fight in spirit against the flesh,
lest they should FULFILL the lusts thereof; and although
they feel the flesh to rage and rebel, and themselves
also do fall sometimes into sin through infirmity,
yet are they not discouraged, nor think therefore that
their state and kind of life, and the works which are
done according to their calling, displease God; but
they raise up themselves by faith.”[67]
[67] Commentary on Galatians, Philadelphia,
1891, pp. 510-514 (abridged).
One of the heresies for which the
Jesuits got that spiritual genius, Molinos, the founder
of Quietism, so abominably condemned was his healthy-minded
opinion of repentance:—
“When thou fallest into a fault,
in what matter soever it be do not trouble nor afflict
thyself for it. For they are effects of our
frail Nature, stained by Original Sin. The common
enemy will make thee believe, as soon as thou fallest
into any fault, that thou walkest in error, and therefore
art out of God and his favor, and herewith would he
make thee distrust of the divine Grace, telling thee
of thy misery, and making a giant of it; and putting
it into thy head that every day thy soul grows worse
instead of better, whilst it so often repeats these
failings. O blessed Soul, open thine eyes; and
shut the gate against these diabolical suggestions,
knowing thy misery, and trusting in the mercy divine.
Would not he be a mere fool who, running at tournament
with others, and falling in the best of the career,
should lie weeping on the ground and afflicting himself
with discourses upon his fall? Man (they would
tell him), lose no time, get up and take the course
again, for he that rises again quickly and continues
his race is as if he had never fallen. If thou
seest thyself fallen once and a thousand times, thou
oughtest to make use of the remedy which I have given
thee, that is, a loving confidence in the divine mercy.
These are the weapons with which thou must fight
and conquer cowardice and vain thoughts. This
is the means thou oughtest to use—not to
lose time, not to disturb thyself, and reap no good.”[68]
[68] Molinos: Spiritual Guide,
Book II., chaps. xvii., xviii. abridged.
Now in contrast with such healthy-minded
views as these, if we treat them as a way of deliberately
minimizing evil, stands a radically opposite view,
a way of maximizing evil, if you please so to call
it, based on the persuasion that the evil aspects of
our life are of its very essence, and that the world’s
meaning most comes home to us when we lay them most
to heart. We have now to address ourselves to
this 129 more morbid way of looking at the
situation. But as I closed our last hour with
a general philosophical reflection on the healthy-minded
way of taking life, I should like at this point to
make another philosophical reflection upon it before
turning to that heavier task. You will excuse
the brief delay.
If we admit that evil is an essential
part of our being and the key to the interpretation
of our life, we load ourselves down with a difficulty
that has always proved burdensome in philosophies
of religion. Theism, whenever it has erected
itself into a systematic philosophy of the universe,
has shown a reluctance to let God be anything less
than All-in-All. In other words, philosophic
theism has always shown a tendency to become pantheistic
and monistic, and to consider the world as one unit
of absolute fact; and this has been at variance with
popular or practical theism, which latter has ever
been more or less frankly pluralistic, not to say
polytheistic, and shown itself perfectly well satisfied
with a universe composed of many original principles,
provided we be only allowed to believe that the divine
principle remains supreme, and that the others are
subordinate. In this latter case God is not necessarily
responsible for the existence of evil; he would only
be responsible if it were not finally overcome.
But on the monistic or pantheistic view, evil, like
everything else, must have its foundation in God;
and the difficulty is to see how this can possibly
be the case if God be absolutely good. This difficulty
faces us in every form of philosophy in which the world
appears as one flawless unit of fact. Such a
unit is an INDIVIDUAL, and in it the worst parts must
be as essential as the best, must be as necessary
to make the individual what he is; since if any part
whatever in an individual were to vanish or alter,
it would no longer be THAT individual at all.
The philosophy of absolute idealism, so vigorously
represented both in Scotland and America to-day, has
to struggle with this difficulty quite as 130
much as scholastic theism struggled in its time; and
although it would be premature to say that there is
no speculative issue whatever from the puzzle, it
is perfectly fair to say that there is no clear or
easy issue, and that the only OBVIOUS escape from
paradox here is to cut loose from the monistic assumption
altogether, and to allow the world to have existed
from its origin in pluralistic form, as an aggregate
or collection of higher and lower things and principles,
rather than an absolutely unitary fact. For
then evil would not need to be essential; it might
be, and may always have been, an independent portion
that had no rational or absolute right to live with
the rest, and which we might conceivably hope to see
got rid of at last.
Now the gospel of healthy-mindedness,
as we have described it, casts its vote distinctly
for this pluralistic view. Whereas the monistic
philosopher finds himself more or less bound to say,
as Hegel said, that everything actual is rational,
and that evil, as an element dialectically required,
must be pinned in and kept and consecrated and have
a function awarded to it in the final system of truth,
healthy-mindedness refuses to say anything of the
sort.[69] Evil, it says, is emphatically irrational,
and NOT to be pinned in, or preserved, or consecrated
in any final system of truth. It is a pure abomination
to the Lord, an alien unreality, a waste element,
to be sloughed off and negated, and the very memory
of it, if possible, wiped out and forgotten.
The ideal, so far from being co-extensive with the
whole actual, is a mere EXTRACT from the actual, marked
by its deliverance from all contact with this diseased,
inferior, and excrementitious stuff.
[69] I say this in spite of the monistic
utterances of many mind-cure writers; for these utterances
are really inconsistent with their attitude towards
disease, and can easily be shown not to be logically
involved in the experiences of union with a higher
Presence with which they connect themselves.
The higher Presence, namely, need not be the absolute
whole of things, it is quite sufficient for the life
of religious experience to regard it as a part, if
only it be the most ideal part.
Here we have the interesting notion
fairly and squarely presented to us, of there being
elements of the universe which may make no rational
whole in conjunction with the other elements, and which,
from the point of view of any system which those other
elements make up, can only be considered so much irrelevance
and accident—so much “dirt,”
as it were, and matter out of place. I ask you
now not to forget this notion; for although most philosophers
seem either to forget it or to disdain it too much
ever to mention it, I believe that we shall have to
admit it ourselves in the end as containing an element
of truth. The mind-cure gospel thus once more
appears to us as having dignity and importance.
We have seen it to be a genuine religion, and no
mere silly appeal to imagination to cure disease; we
have seen its method of experimental verification
to be not unlike the method of all science; and now
here we find mind- cure as the champion of a perfectly
definite conception of the metaphysical structure
of the world. I hope that, in view of all this,
you will not regret my having pressed it upon your
attention at such length.
Let us now say good-by for a while
to all this way of thinking, and turn towards those
persons who cannot so swiftly throw off the burden
of the consciousness of evil, but are congenitally
fated to suffer from its presence. Just as we
saw that in healthy-mindedness there are shallower
and profounder levels, happiness like that of the
mere animal, and more regenerate sorts of happiness,
so also are there different levels of the morbid mind,
and the one is much more formidable than the other.
There are people for whom evil means only a mal-adjustment
with THINGS, a wrong correspondence of one’s
life with the environment. Such evil as this
is curable, in principle at least, upon the natural
plane, for merely by modifying either the self or the
things, or both at once, the two terms may be made
to fit, and all go merry as a marriage bell again.
But there are others for whom evil is no mere relation
of the subject to particular outer things, but something
more radical and general, a wrongness or vice in his
essential nature, which no alteration of the environment,
or any superficial rearrangement of the inner self,
can cure, and which requires a supernatural remedy.
On the whole, the Latin races have leaned more towards
the former way of looking upon evil, as made up of
ills and sins in the plural, removable in detail;
while the Germanic races have tended rather to think
of Sin in the singular, and with a capital S, as of
something ineradicably ingrained in our natural subjectivity,
and never to be removed by any superficial piecemeal
operations.[70] These comparisons of races are always
open to exception, but undoubtedly the northern tone
in religion has inclined to the more intimately pessimistic
persuasion, and this way of feeling, being the more
extreme, we shall find by far the more instructive
for our study.
[70] Cf. J. Milsand: Luther
et le Serf-Arbitre, 1884, passim.
Recent psychology has found great
use for the word “threshold” as a symbolic
designation for the point at which one state of mind
passes into another. Thus we speak of the threshold
of a man’s consciousness in general, to indicate
the amount of noise, pressure, or other outer stimulus
which it takes to arouse his attention at all.
One with a high threshold will doze through an amount
of racket by which one with a low threshold would be
immediately waked. Similarly, when one is sensitive
to small differences in any order of sensation, we
say he has a low “difference- threshold”—his
mind easily steps over it into the consciousness of
the differences in question. And just so we
might speak of a “pain-threshold,” a “fear-threshold,”
a “misery-threshold,” and find it quickly
overpassed by the consciousness of some individuals,
but lying too high in others to be often reached by
their consciousness. The sanguine and healthy-minded
live habitually on the sunny side of their misery-line,
the depressed and melancholy live beyond it, in darkness
and apprehension. There are men who seem to have
started in life with a bottle or two of champagne inscribed
to their credit; whilst others seem to have been born
close to the pain-threshold, which the slightest irritants
fatally send them over.
Does it not appear as if one who lived
more habitually on one side of the pain-threshold
might need a different sort of religion from one who
habitually lived on the other? This question,
of the relativity of different types of religion to
different types of need, arises naturally at this point,
and will became a serious problem ere we have done.
But before we confront it in general terms, we must
address ourselves to the unpleasant task of hearing
what the sick souls, as we may call them in contrast
to the healthy-minded, have to say of the secrets
of their prison-house, their own peculiar form of
consciousness. Let us then resolutely turn our
backs on the once-born and their sky-blue optimistic
gospel; let us not simply cry out, in spite of all
appearances, “Hurrah for the Universe!—God’s
in his Heaven, all’s right with the world.”
Let us see rather whether pity, pain, and fear,
and the sentiment of human helplessness may not open
a profounder view and put into our hands a more complicated
key to the meaning of the situation.
To begin with, how CAN things so insecure
as the successful experiences of this world afford
a stable anchorage? A chain is no stronger than
its weakest link, and life is after all a chain.
In the healthiest and most prosperous
existence, how many links of illness, danger, and
disaster are always interposed? Unsuspectedly
from the bottom of every fountain of pleasure, as
the old poet said, something bitter rises up:
a touch of nausea, a falling dead of the delight,
a whiff of melancholy, things that sound a knell,
for fugitive as they may be, they bring a feeling
of coming from a deeper region and often have an appalling
convincingness. The buzz of life ceases at their
touch as a piano-string stops sounding when the damper
falls upon it.
Of course the music can commence again;—and
again and again—at intervals. But
with this the healthy-minded consciousness is left
with an irremediable sense of precariousness.
It is a bell with a crack; it draws its breath on
sufferance and by an accident.
Even if we suppose a man so packed
with healthy-mindedness as never to have experienced
in his own person any of these sobering intervals,
still, if he is a reflecting being, he must generalize
and class his own lot with that of others; and, doing
so, he must see that his escape is just a lucky chance
and no essential difference. He might just as
well have been born to an entirely different fortune.
And then indeed the hollow security! What kind
of a frame of things is it of which the best you can
say is, “Thank God, it has let me off clear
this time!” Is not its blessedness a fragile
fiction? Is not your joy in it a very vulgar
glee, not much unlike the snicker of any rogue at his
success? If indeed it were all success, even
on such terms as that! But take the happiest
man, the one most envied by the world, and in nine
cases out of ten his inmost consciousness is one of
failure. Either his ideals in the line of his
achievements are pitched far higher than the achievements
themselves, or else he has secret ideals of which the
world knows nothing, and in regard to which he inwardly
knows himself to be found wanting.
When such a conquering optimist as
Goethe can express himself in this wise, how must
it be with less successful men? 135
“I will say nothing,”
writes Goethe in 1824, “against the course of
my existence. But at bottom it has been nothing
but pain and burden, and I can affirm that during
the whole of my 75 years, I have not had four weeks
of genuine well-being. It is but the perpetual
rolling of a rock that must be raised up again forever.”
What single-handed man was ever on
the whole as successful as Luther? Yet when
he had grown old, he looked back on his life as if
it were an absolute failure.
“I am utterly weary of life.
I pray the Lord will come forthwith and carry me
hence. Let him come, above all, with his last
Judgment: I will stretch out my neck, the thunder
will burst forth, and I shall be at rest.”—And
having a necklace of white agates in his hand at the
time he added: “O God, grant that it may
come without delay. I would readily eat up this
necklace to-day, for the Judgment to come to-morrow.”—The
Electress Dowager, one day when Luther was dining
with her, said to him: “Doctor, I wish
you may live forty years to come.” “Madam,”
replied he, “rather than live forty years more,
I would give up my chance of Paradise.”
Failure, then, failure! so the world
stamps us at every turn. We strew it with our
blunders, our misdeeds, our lost opportunities, with
all the memorials of our inadequacy to our vocation.
And with what a damning emphasis does it then blot
us out! No easy fine, no mere apology or formal
expiation, will satisfy the world’s demands,
but every pound of flesh exacted is soaked with all
its blood. The subtlest forms of suffering known
to man are connected with the poisonous humiliations
incidental to these results.
And they are pivotal human experiences.
A process so ubiquitous and everlasting is evidently
an integral part of life. “There is indeed
one element in human destiny,” Robert Louis Stevenson
writes, “that not blindness itself can controvert.
Whatever else we are intended to do, we are not
intended to succeed; failure is the fate allotted.”[71]
And our nature being thus rooted in failure, is it
any wonder that theologians should have held it to
be essential, and thought that only through the personal
experience of humiliation which it engenders the deeper
sense of life’s significance is reached?[72]
[71] He adds with characteristic healthy-mindedness:
“Our business is to continue to fail in good
spirits.”
[72] The God of many men is little
more than their court of appeal against the damnatory
judgment passed on their failures by the opinion of
this world. To our own consciousness there is
usually a residuum of worth left over after our sins
and errors have been told off—our capacity
of acknowledging and regretting them is the germ of
a better self in posse at least. But the world
deals with us in actu and not in posse: and of
this hidden germ, not to be guessed at from without,
it never takes account. Then we turn to the
All-knower, who knows our bad, but knows this good
in us also, and who is just. We cast ourselves
with our repentance on his mercy only by an All-knower
can we finally be judged. So the need of a God
very definitely emerges from this sort of experience
of life.
But this is only the first stage of
the world-sickness. Make the human being’s
sensitiveness a little greater, carry him a little
farther over the misery-threshold, and the good quality
of the successful moments themselves when they occur
is spoiled and vitiated. All natural goods perish.
Riches take wings; fame is a breath; love is a cheat;
youth and health and pleasure vanish. Can things
whose end is always dust and disappointment be the
real goods which our souls require? Back of everything
is the great spectre of universal death, the all-encompassing
blackness:—
“What profit hath a man of all
his labour which he taketh under the Sun? I
looked on all the works that my hands had wrought,
and behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit.
For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth
beasts; as the one dieth, so dieth the other, all
are of the dust, and all turn to dust again. . . .
The dead know not anything, neither have they any
more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.
Also their love and their hatred and their envy is
now perished; neither have they any more a portion
for ever in anything that is done under the Sun. .
. . Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant
thing it is for the eyes to behold the Sun: but
if a man live many years and rejoice in them all,
yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they
shall be many.”
In short, life and its negation are
beaten up inextricably together. But if the
life be good, the negation of it must be bad.
Yet the two are equally essential facts of existence;
and all natural happiness thus seems infected with
a contradiction. The breath of the sepulchre
surrounds it.
To a mind attentive to this state
of things and rightly subject to the joy-destroying
chill which such a contemplation engenders, the only
relief that healthy-mindedness can give is by saying:
“Stuff and nonsense, get out into the open
air!” or “Cheer up, old fellow, you’ll
be all right erelong, if you will only drop your morbidness!”
But in all seriousness, can such bald animal talk
as that be treated as a rational answer? To ascribe
religious value to mere happy-go-lucky contentment
with one’s brief chance at natural good is but
the very consecration of forgetfulness and superficiality.
Our troubles lie indeed too deep for THAT cure.
The fact that we CAN die, that we CAN be ill at all,
is what perplexes us; the fact that we now for a moment
live and are well is irrelevant to that perplexity.
We need a life not correlated with death, a health
not liable to illness, a kind of good that will not
perish, a good in fact that flies beyond the Goods
of nature.
It all depends on how sensitive the
soul may become to discords. “The trouble
with me is that I believe too much in common happiness
and goodness,” said a friend of mine whose consciousness
was of this sort, “and nothing can console me
for their transiency. I am appalled and disconcerted
at its being possible.” And so with
most of us: a little cooling down of animal
excitability and instinct, a little loss of animal
toughness, a little irritable weakness and descent
of the pain-threshold, will bring the worm at the
core of all our usual springs of delight into full
view, and turn us into melancholy metaphysicians.
The pride of life and glory of the world will shrivel.
It is after all but the standing quarrel of hot youth
and hoary eld. Old age has the last word:
the purely naturalistic look at life, however enthusiastically
it may begin, is sure to end in sadness.
This sadness lies at the heart of
every merely positivistic, agnostic, or naturalistic
scheme of philosophy. Let sanguine healthy-mindedness
do its best with its strange power of living in the
moment and ignoring and forgetting, still the evil
background is really there to be thought of, and the
skull will grin in at the banquet. In the practical
life of the individual, we know how his whole gloom
or glee about any present fact depends on the remoter
schemes and hopes with which it stands related.
Its significance and framing give it the chief part
of its value. Let it be known to lead nowhere,
and however agreeable it may be in its immediacy,
its glow and gilding vanish. The old man, sick
with an insidious internal disease, may laugh and
quaff his wine at first as well as ever, but he knows
his fate now, for the doctors have revealed it; and
the knowledge knocks the satisfaction out of all these
functions. They are partners of death and the
worm is their brother, and they turn to a mere flatness.
The lustre of the present hour is
always borrowed from the background of possibilities
it goes with. Let our common experiences be
enveloped in an eternal moral order; let our suffering
have an immortal significance; let Heaven smile upon
the earth, and deities pay their visits; let faith
and hope be the atmosphere which man breathes in;—and
his days pass by with zest; they stir with prospects,
they thrill with remoter values. Place round
them on the contrary the curdling cold and gloom and
absence of all permanent meaning which for pure naturalism
and the popular science evolutionism of our time are
all that is visible ultimately, and the thrill stops
short, or turns rather to an anxious trembling.
For naturalism, fed on recent cosmological
speculations, mankind is in a position similar to
that of a set of people living on a frozen lake, surrounded
by cliffs over which there is no escape, yet knowing
that little by little the ice is melting, and the
inevitable day drawing near when the last film of it
will disappear, and to be drowned ignominiously will
be the human creature’s portion. The merrier
the skating, the warmer and more sparkling the sun
by day, and the ruddier the bonfires at night, the
more poignant the sadness with which one must take
in the meaning of the total situation.
The early Greeks are continually held
up to us in literary works as models of the healthy-minded
joyousness which the religion of nature may engender.
There was indeed much joyousness among the Greeks—Homer’s
flow of enthusiasm for most things that the sun shines
upon is steady. But even in Homer the reflective
passages are cheerless,[73] and the moment the Greeks
grew systematically pensive and thought of ultimates,
they became unmitigated pessimists.[74] The jealousy
of the gods, the nemesis that follows too much happiness,
the all-encompassing death, fate’s dark opacity,
the ultimate and unintelligible cruelty, were the
fixed background of their imagination. The beautiful
joyousness of their polytheism is only a poetic modern
fiction. They knew no joys comparable in quality
of preciousness to those which we shall erelong see
that Ilrahmans, Buddhists, Christians, Mohammedans,
twice-born people whose religion is non-naturalistic,
get from their several creeds of mysticism and renunciation.
[73] E.g., Iliad XVII. 446:
“Nothing then is more wretched anywhere than
man of all that breathes and creeps upon this earth.”
[74] E.g., Theognis, 425-428:
“Best of all for all things upon earth is it
not to be born nor to behold the splendors of the
sun; next best to traverse as soon as possible the
gates of Hades.” See also the almost identical
passage in Oedipus in Colonus, 1225.—The
Anthology is full of pessimistic utterances:
“Naked came I upon the earth, naked I go below
the ground—why then do I vainly toil when
I see the end naked before me?”—“How
did I come to be? Whence am l? Wherefore
did I come? To pass away. How can I learn
aught when naught I know? Being naught I came
to life: once more shall I be what I was.
Nothing and nothingness is the whole race of mortals.”—“For
death we are all cherished and fattened like a herd
of hogs that is wantonly butchered.”
The difference between Greek pessimism
and the oriental and modern variety is that the Greeks
had not made the discovery that the pathetic mood
may be idealized, and figure as a higher form of sensibility.
Their spirit was still too essentially masculine
for pessimism to be elaborated or lengthily dwelt on
in their classic literature. They would have
despised a life set wholly in a minor key, and summoned
it to keep within the proper bounds of lachrymosity.
The discovery that the enduring emphasis, so far as
this world goes, may be laid on its pain and failure,
was reserved for races more complex, and (so to speak)
more feminine than the Hellenes had attained to being
in the classic period. But all the same was
the outlook of those Hellenes blackly pessimistic.
Stoic insensibility and Epicurean
resignation were the farthest advance which the Greek
mind made in that direction. The Epicurean said:
“Seek not to be happy, but rather to escape
unhappiness; strong happiness is always linked with
pain; therefore hug the safe shore, and do not tempt
the deeper raptures. Avoid disappointment by
expecting little, and by aiming low; and above all
do not fret.” The Stoic said: “The
only genuine good that life can yield a man is the
free possession of his own soul; all other goods are
lies.” Each of these philosophies is in
its degree a philosophy of despair in nature’s
boons. Trustful self-abandonment to the joys
that freely offer has entirely departed from both
Epicurean and Stoic; and what each proposes is a way
of rescue from the resultant dust-and-ashes state
of mind. The Epicurean still awaits results
from economy of indulgence and damping of desire.
The Stoic hopes for no results, and gives up natural
good altogether. There is dignity in both these
forms of resignation. They represent distinct
stages in the sobering process which man’s primitive
intoxication with sense-happiness is sure to undergo.
In the one the hot blood has grown cool, in the other
it has become quite cold; and although I have spoken
of them in the past tense, as if they were merely
historic, yet Stoicism and Epicureanism will probably
be to all time typical attitudes, marking a certain
definite stage accomplished in the evolution of the
world-sick soul.[75] They mark the conclusion of what
we call the once-born period, and represent the highest
flights of what twice-born religion would call the
purely natural man —Epicureanism, which
can only by great courtesy be called a religion, showing
his refinement, and Stoicism exhibiting his moral
will. They leave the world in the shape of an
unreconciled contradiction, and seek no higher unity.
Compared with the complex ecstasies which the supernaturally
regenerated Christian may enjoy, or the oriental pantheist
indulge in, their receipts for equanimity are expedients
which seem almost crude in their simplicity.
[75] For instance, on the very day
on which I write this page, the post brings me some
aphorisms from a worldly-wise old friend in Heidelberg
which may serve as a good contemporaneous expression
of Epicureanism: “By the word ‘happiness’
every human being understands something different.
It is a phantom pursued only by weaker minds.
The wise man is satisfied with the more modest but
much more definite term CONTENTMENT. What education
should chiefly aim at is to save us from a discontented
life. Health is one favoring condition, but
by no means an indispensable one, of contentment.
Woman’s heart and love are a shrewd device
of Nature, a trap which she sets for the average man,
to force him into working. But the wise man will
always prefer work chosen by himself.”
Please observe, however, that I am
not yet pretending finally to JUDGE any of these attitudes.
I am only describing their variety. The securest
way to the rapturous sorts of happiness of which the
twice-born make report has as an historic matter of
fact been through a more radical pessimism than anything
that we have yet considered. We have seen how
the lustre and enchantment may be rubbed off from
the goods of nature. But there is a pitch of
unhappiness so great that the goods of nature may be
entirely forgotten, and all sentiment of their existence
vanish from the mental field. For this extremity
of pessimism to be reached, something more is needed
than observation of life and reflection upon death.
The individual must in his own person become the
prey of a pathological melancholy. As the healthy-minded
enthusiast succeeds in ignoring evil’s very existence,
so the subject of melancholy is forced in spite of
himself to ignore that of all good whatever:
for him it may no longer have the least reality.
Such sensitiveness and susceptibility to mental pain
is a rare occurrence where the nervous constitution
is entirely normal; one seldom finds it in a healthy
subject even where he is the victim of the most atrocious
cruelties of outward fortune. So we note here
the neurotic constitution, of which I said so much
in my first lecture, making its active entrance on
our scene, and destined to play a part in much that
follows. Since these experiences of melancholy
are in the first instance absolutely private and individual,
I can now help myself out with personal documents.
Painful indeed they will be to listen to, and there
is almost an indecency in handling them in public.
Yet they lie right in the middle of our path; and
if we are to touch the psychology of religion at all
seriously, we must be willing to forget conventionalities,
and dive below the smooth and lying official conversational
surface.
One can distinguish many kinds of
pathological depression. Sometimes it is mere
passive joylessness and dreariness. discouragement,
dejection, lack of taste and zest and spring. 143
Professor Ribot has proposed the name anhedonia to
designate this condition.
“The state of anhedonia, if
I may coin a new word to pair off with analgesia,”
he writes, “has been very little studied, but
it exists. A young girl was smitten with a liver
disease which for some time altered her constitution.
She felt no longer any affection for her father and
mother. She would have played with her doll,
but it was impossible to find the least pleasure in
the act. The same things which formerly convulsed
her with laughter entirely failed to interest her
now. Esquirol observed the case of a very intelligent
magistrate who was also a prey to hepatic disease.
Every emotion appeared dead within him. He manifested
neither perversion nor violence, but complete absence
of emotional reaction. If he went to the theatre,
which he did out of habit, he could find no pleasure
there. The thought of his house of his home,
of his wife, and of his absent children moved him
as little, he said, as a theorem of Euclid.”[76]
[76] Ribot: Psychologie des sentiments, p. 54.
Prolonged seasickness will in most
persons produce a temporary condition of anhedonia.
Every good, terrestrial or celestial, is imagined
only to be turned from with disgust. A temporary
condition of this sort, connected with the religious
evolution of a singularly lofty character, both intellectual
and moral, is well described by the Catholic philosopher,
Father Gratry, in his autobiographical recollections.
In consequence of mental isolation and excessive study
at the Polytechnic school, young Gratry fell into
a state of nervous exhaustion with symptoms which
he thus describes:—
“I had such a universal terror
that I woke at night with a start, thinking that the
Pantheon was tumbling on the Polytechnic school, or
that the school was in flames, or that the Seine was
pouring into the Catacombs, and that Paris was being
swallowed up. And when these impressions were
past, all day long without respite I suffered an incurable
and intolerable desolation, verging on despair.
I thought myself, in fact, rejected by God, lost,
damned! I felt something like the suffering of
hell. Before that I had never even thought of
hell. My mind had never turned in that direction.
Neither discourses nor reflections had impressed
me in that way. I took no account of hell.
Now, and all at once, I suffered in a measure what
is suffered there.
“But what was perhaps still
more dreadful is that every idea of heaven was taken
away from me: I could no longer conceive of
anything of the sort. Heaven did not seem to
me worth going to. It was like a vacuum; a mythological
elysium, an abode of shadows less real than the earth.
I could conceive no joy, no pleasure in inhabiting
it. Happiness, joy, light, affection, love—
all these words were now devoid of sense. Without
doubt I could still have talked of all these things,
but I had become incapable of feeling anything in
them, of understanding anything about them, of hoping
anything from them, or of believing them to exist.
There was my great and inconsolable grief! I
neither perceived nor conceived any longer the existence
of happiness or perfection. An abstract heaven
over a naked rock. Such was my present abode
for eternity.”[77]
[77] A. Gratry: Souvenirs de
ma jeunesse, 1880, pp. 119-121, abridged. Some
persons are affected with anhedonia permanently, or
at any rate with a loss of the usual appetite for life.
The annals of suicide supply such examples as the
following:—
An uneducated domestic servant, aged
nineteen, poisons herself, and leaves two letters
expressing her motive for the act. To her parents
she writes:—
“Life is sweet perhaps to some,
but I prefer what is sweeter than life, and that is
death. So good-by forever, my dear parents.
It is nobody’s fault, but a strong desire of
my own which I have longed to fulfill for three or
four years. I have always had a hope that some
day I might have an opportunity of fulfilling it,
and now it has come. . . . It is a wonder I have
put this off so long, but I thought perhaps I should
cheer up a bit and put all thought out of my head.”
To her brother she writes: “Good-by forever,
my own dearest brother. By the time you get this
I shall be gone forever. I know, dear love,
there is no forgiveness for what I am going to do.
. . . I am tired of living, so am willing to
die. . . . Life may be sweet to some, but death
to me is sweeter.” S. A. K. Strahan:
Suicide and Insanity, 2d edition, London, 1894, p.
131.
So much for melancholy in the sense
of incapacity for joyous feeling. A much worse
form of it is positive and active anguish, a sort
of psychical neuralgia wholly unknown to healthy life.
Such anguish may partake of various characters, having
sometimes more the quality of loathing; sometimes
that of irritation and exasperation; or again of self-mistrust
and self-despair; or of suspicion, anxiety, trepidation,
fear. The patient may rebel or submit; may accuse
himself, or accuse outside powers; and he may or he
may not be tormented by the theoretical mystery of
why he should so have to suffer. Most cases
are mixed cases, and we should not treat our classifications
with too much respect. Moreover, it is only a
relatively small proportion of cases that connect
themselves with the religious sphere of experience
at all. Exasperated cases, for instance, as
a rule do not. I quote now literally from the
first case of melancholy on which I lay my hand.
It is a letter from a patient in a French asylum.
“I suffer too much in this hospital,
both physically and morally. Besides the burnings
and the sleeplessness (for I no longer sleep since
I am shut up here, and the little rest I get is broken
by bad dreams, and I am waked with a jump by night
mares dreadful visions, lightning, thunder, and the
rest), fear, atrocious fear, presses me down, holds
me without respite, never lets me go. Where
is the justice in it all! What have I done to
deserve this excess of severity? Under what
form will this fear crush me? What would I not
owe to any one who would rid me of my life! Eat,
drink, lie awake all night, suffer without interruption—such
is the fine legacy I have received from my mother!
What I fail to understand is this abuse of power.
There are limits to everything, there is a middle
way. But God knows neither middle way nor limits.
I say God, but why? All I have known so far
has been the devil. After all, I am afraid of
God as much as of the devil, so I drift along, thinking
of nothing but suicide, but with neither courage nor
means here to execute the act. As you read this,
it will easily prove to you my insanity. The
style and the ideas are incoherent enough—I
can see that myself. But I cannot keep myself
from being either crazy or an idiot; and, as things
are, from whom should I ask pity? I am defenseless
against the invisible enemy who is tightening his coils
around me. I should be no better armed against
him even if I saw him, or had seen him. Oh,
if he would but kill me, devil take him! Death,
death, once for all! But I stop. I have raved
to you long enough. I say raved, for I can write
no otherwise, having neither brain nor thoughts left.
O God! what a misfortune to be born! Born like
a mushroom, doubtless between an evening and a morning;
and how true and right I was when in our philosophy-year
in college I chewed the cud of bitterness with the
pessimists. Yes, indeed, there is more pain
in life than gladness—it is one long agony
until the grave. Think how gay it makes me to
remember that this horrible misery of mine, coupled
with this unspeakable fear, may last fifty, one hundred,
who knows how many more years!”[78]
[78] Roubinovitch et Toulouse:
La Melancolie, 1897, p. 170, abridged.
This letter shows two things.
First, you see how the entire consciousness of the
poor man is so choked with the feeling of evil that
the sense of there being any good in the world is lost
for him altogether. His attention excludes it,
cannot admit it: the sun has left his heaven.
And secondly you see how the querulous temper of
his misery keeps his mind from taking a religious
direction. Querulousness of mind tends in fact
rather towards irreligion; and it has played, so far
as I know, no part whatever in the construction of
religious systems.
Religious melancholy must be cast
in a more melting mood. Tolstoy has left us,
in his book called My Confession, a wonderful account
of the attack of melancholy which led him to his own
religious conclusions. The latter in some respects
are peculiar; but the melancholy presents two characters
which make it a typical document for our present purpose.
First it is a well-marked case of anhedonia, of passive
loss of appetite for all life’s values; and
second, it shows how the altered and estranged aspect
which the world assumed in consequence of this stimulated
Tolstoy’s intellect to a gnawing, carking questioning
and effort for philosophic relief. I mean to
quote Tolstoy at some length; but before doing so,
I will make a general remark on each of these two
points.
First on our spiritual judgments and
the sense of value in general.
It is notorious that facts are compatible
with opposite emotional comments, since the same fact
will inspire entirely different feelings in different
persons, and at different times in the same person;
and there is no rationally deducible connection between
any outer fact and the sentiments it may happen to
provoke. These have their source in another
sphere of existence altogether, in the animal and
spiritual region of the subject’s being.
Conceive yourself, if possible, suddenly stripped
of all the emotion with which your world now inspires
you, and try to imagine it AS IT EXISTS, purely by
itself, without your favorable or unfavorable, hopeful
or apprehensive comment. It will be almost impossible
for you to realize such a condition of negativity
and deadness. No one portion of the universe
would then have importance beyond another; and the
whole collection of its things and series of its events
would be without significance, character, expression,
or perspective. Whatever of value, interest,
or meaning our respective worlds may appear endued
with are thus pure gifts of the spectator’s mind.
The passion of love is the most familiar and extreme
example of this fact. If it comes, it comes;
if it does not 148 come, no process of reasoning
can force it. Yet it transforms the value of
the creature loved as utterly as the sunrise transforms
Mont Blanc from a corpse-like gray to a rosy enchantment;
and it sets the whole world to a new tune for the
lover and gives a new issue to his life. So
with fear, with indignation, jealousy, ambition, worship.
If they are there, life changes. And whether
they shall be there or not depends almost always upon
non-logical, often on organic conditions. And
as the excited interest which these passions put into
the world is our gift to the world, just so are the
passions themselves GIFTS—gifts to us, from
sources sometimes low and sometimes high; but almost
always nonlogical and beyond our control. How
can the moribund old man reason back to himself the
romance, the mystery, the imminence of great things
with which our old earth tingled for him in the days
when he was young and well? Gifts, either of
the flesh or of the spirit; and the spirit bloweth
where it listeth; and the world’s materials
lend their surface passively to all the gifts alike,
as the stage-setting receives indifferently whatever
alternating colored lights may be shed upon it from
the optical apparatus in the gallery.
Meanwhile the practically real world
for each one of us, the effective world of the individual,
is the compound world, the physical facts and emotional
values in indistinguishable combination. Withdraw
or pervert either factor of this complex resultant,
and the kind of experience we call pathological ensues.
In Tolstoy’s case the sense
that life had any meaning whatever was for a time
wholly withdrawn. The result was a transformation
in the whole expression of reality. When we come
to study the phenomenon of conversion or religious
regeneration, we shall see that a not infrequent consequence
of the change operated in the subject is a transfiguration
of the face of nature in his eyes. A new heaven
seems to shine upon a new earth. In melancholiacs
there is usually a similar change, only it is in the
reverse direction. The world now looks remote,
strange, sinister, uncanny. Its color is gone,
its breath is cold, there is no speculation in the
eyes it glares with. “It is as if I lived
in another century,” says one asylum patient.—“I
see everything through a cloud,” says another,
“things are not as they were, and I am changed.”—“I
see,” says a third, “I touch, but the things
do not come near me, a thick veil alters the hue and
look of everything.”—“Persons
move like shadows, and sounds seem to come from a
distant world.”—“There is no
longer any past for me; people appear so strange;
it is as if I could not see any reality, as if I were
in a theatre; as if people were actors, and everything
were scenery; I can no longer find myself; I walk,
but why? Everything floats before my eyes, but
leaves no impression.”—“I weep
false tears, I have unreal hands: the things
I see are not real things.”—Such are
expressions that naturally rise to the lips of melancholy
subjects describing their changed state.[79]
[79] I cull these examples from the
work of G. Dumas: La Tristesse et la Joie, 1900.
Now there are some subjects whom all
this leaves a prey to the profoundest astonishment.
The strangeness is wrong. The unreality cannot
be. A mystery is concealed, and a metaphysical
solution must exist. If the natural world is
so double-faced and unhomelike, what world, what thing
is real? An urgent wondering and questioning
is set up, a poring theoretic activity, and in the
desperate effort to get into right relations with the
matter, the sufferer is often led to what becomes
for him a satisfying religious solution.
At about the age of fifty, Tolstoy
relates that he began to have moments of perplexity,
of what he calls arrest, as if he knew not “how
to live,” or what to do. It is obvious
that these were moments in which the excitement and
interest which our functions naturally bring had ceased.
Life had been enchanting, it was now flat sober,
more than 150 sober, dead. Things were
meaningless whose meaning had always been self-evident.
The questions “Why?” and “What
next?” began to beset him more and more frequently.
At first it seemed as if such questions must be answerable,
and as if he could easily find the answers if he would
take the time; but as they ever became more urgent,
he perceived that it was like those first discomforts
of a sick man, to which he pays but little attention
till they run into one continuous suffering, and then
he realizes that what he took for a passing disorder
means the most momentous thing in the world for him,
means his death.
These questions “Why?”
“Wherefore?” “What for?” found
no response.
“I felt,” says Tolstoy,
“that something had broken within me on which
my life had always rested, that I had nothing left
to hold on to, and that morally my life had stopped.
An invincible force impelled me to get rid of my
existence, in one way or another. It cannot be
said exactly that I WISHED to kill myself, for the
force which drew me away from life was fuller, more
powerful, more general than any mere desire.
It was a force like my old aspiration to live, only
it impelled me in the opposite direction. It
was an aspiration of my whole being to get out of
life.
“Behold me then, a man happy
and in good health, hiding the rope in order not to
hang myself to the rafters of the room where every
night I went to sleep alone; behold me no longer going
shooting, lest I should yield to the too easy temptation
of putting an end to myself with my gun.
“I did not know what I wanted.
I was afraid of life; I was driven to leave it; and
in spite of that I still hoped something from it.
“All this took place at a time
when so far as all my outer circumstances went, I
ought to have been completely happy. I had a
good wife who loved me and whom I loved; good children
and a large property which was increasing with no
pains taken on my part. I was more respected
by my kinsfolk and acquaintance than I had ever been;
I was loaded with praise by strangers; and without
exaggeration I could believe my name already famous.
Moreover I was neither insane nor ill. On the
contrary, I possessed a physical and mental strength
which I have rarely met in persons of my age.
I could mow as well as the peasants, I could work
with my brain eight hours uninterruptedly and feel
no bad effects.
“And yet I could give no reasonable
meaning to any actions of my life. And I was
surprised that I had not understood this from the
very beginning. My state of mind was as if some
wicked and stupid jest was being played upon me by
some one. One can live only so long as one is
intoxicated, drunk with life; but when one grows sober
one cannot fail to see that it is all a stupid cheat.
What is truest about it is that there
is nothing even funny or silly in it; it is cruel
and stupid, purely and simply.
“The oriental fable of the traveler
surprised in the desert by a wild beast is very old.
“Seeking to save himself from
the fierce animal, the traveler jumps into a well
with no water in it; but at the bottom of this well
he sees a dragon waiting with open mouth to devour
him. And the unhappy man, not daring to go out
lest he should be the prey of the beast, not daring
to jump to the bottom lest he should be devoured by
the dragon, clings to the branches of a wild bush
which grows out of one of the cracks of the well.
His hands weaken, and he feels that he must soon
give way to certain fate; but still he clings, and
see two mice, one white, the other black, evenly moving
round the bush to which he hangs, and gnawing off
its roots
“The traveler sees this and
knows that he must inevitably perish; but while thus
hanging he looks about him and finds on the leaves
of the bush some drops of honey. These he reaches
with his tongue and licks them off with rapture.
“Thus I hang upon the boughs
of life, knowing that the inevitable dragon of death
is waiting ready to tear me, and I cannot comprehend
why I am thus made a martyr. I try to suck the
honey which formerly consoled me; but the honey pleases
me no longer, and day and night the white mouse and
the black mouse gnaw the branch to which I cling.
I can see but one thing: the inevitable dragon
and the mice—I cannot turn my gaze away
from them.
“This is no fable, but the literal
incontestable truth which every one may understand.
What will be the outcome of what I do to-day?
Of what I shall do to-morrow? What will be the
outcome of all my life? Why should I live?
Why should I do anything? Is there in life
any purpose which the inevitable death which awaits
me does not undo and destroy?
“These questions are the simplest
in the world. From the stupid child to the wisest
old man, they are in the soul of every human being.
Without an answer to them, it is impossible, as I
experienced, for life to go on.
“‘But perhaps,’
I often said to myself, ’there may be something
I have failed to notice or to comprehend. It
is not possible that this condition of despair should
be natural to mankind.’ And I sought for
an explanation in all the branches of knowledge acquired
by men. I questioned painfully and protractedly
and with no idle curiosity. I sought, not with
indolence, but laboriously and obstinately for days
and nights together. I sought like a man who
is lost and seeks to save himself—and I
found nothing. I became convinced, moreover,
that all those who before me had sought for an answer
in the sciences have also found nothing. And
not only this, but that they have recognized that
the very thing which was leading me to despair—the
meaningless absurdity of life—is the only
incontestable knowledge accessible to man.”
To prove this point, Tolstoy quotes
the Buddha, Solomon, and Schopenhauer. And he
finds only four ways in which men of his own class
and society are accustomed to meet the situation.
Either mere animal blindness, sucking the honey without
seeing the dragon or the mice—“and
from such a way,” he says, “I can learn
nothing, after what I now know;” or reflective
epicureanism, snatching what it can while the day lasts—which
is only a more deliberate sort of stupefaction than
the first; or manly suicide; or seeing the mice and
dragon and yet weakly and plaintively clinging to
the bush of life. Suicide was naturally the
consistent course dictated by the logical intellect.
“Yet,” says Tolstoy, “whilst
my intellect was working, something else in me was
working too, and kept me from the deed—a
consciousness of life, as I may call it, which was
like a force that obliged my mind to fix itself in
another direction and draw me out of my situation
of despair. . . . During the whole course of
this year, when I almost unceasingly kept asking myself
how to end the business, whether by the rope or by
the bullet, during all that time, alongside of all
those movements of my ideas and observations, my heart
kept languishing with another pining emotion.
I can call this by no other name than that of a thirst
for God. This craving for God had nothing to
do with the movement of my ideas—in fact,
it was the direct contrary of that movement—but
it came from my heart. It was like a feeling
of dread that made me seem like an orphan and isolated
in the midst of all these things that were so foreign.
And this feeling of dread was mitigated by the hope
of finding the assistance of some one.”[80]
[80] My extracts are from the French
translation by “Zonia.” In abridging
I have taken the liberty of transposing one passage.
Of the process, intellectual as well
as emotional, which, starting from this idea of God,
led to Tolstoy’s recovery, I will say nothing
in this lecture, reserving it for a later hour.
The only thing that need interest us now is the phenomenon
of his absolute disenchantment with ordinary life,
and the fact that the whole range of habitual values
may, to a man as powerful and full of faculty as he
was, come to appear so ghastly a mockery.
When disillusionment has gone as far
as this, there is seldom a restitutio ad integrum.
One has tasted of the fruit of the tree, and the
happiness of Eden never comes again. The happiness
that comes, when any does come—and often
enough it fails to return in an acute form, though
its form is sometimes very acute—is not
the simple, ignorance of ill, but something vastly
more complex, including natural evil as one of its
elements, but finding natural evil no such stumbling-block
and terror because it now sees it swallowed up in
supernatural good. The process is one of redemption,
not of mere reversion to natural health, and the sufferer,
when saved, is saved by what seems to him a second
birth, a deeper kind of conscious being than he could
enjoy before.
We find a somewhat different type
of religious melancholy enshrined in literature in
John Bunyan’s autobiography. Tolstoy’s
preoccupations were largely objective, for the purpose
and meaning of life in general was what so troubled
him; but poor Bunyan’s troubles were over the
condition of his own personal self. He was a
typical case of the psychopathic temperament, sensitive
of conscience to a diseased degree, beset by doubts,
fears and insistent ideas, and a victim of verbal automatisms,
both motor and sensory. These were usually texts
of Scripture which, sometimes damnatory and sometimes
favorable, would come in a half- hallucinatory form
as if they were voices, and fasten on his mind and
buffet it between them like a shuttlecock. Added
to this were a fearful melancholy self-contempt and
despair.
“Nay, thought I, now I grow
worse and worse, now I am farther from conversion
than ever I was before. If now I should have
burned at the stake, I could not believe that Christ
had love for me; alas, I could neither hear him, nor
see him, nor feel him, nor savor any of his things.
Sometimes I would tell my condition to the people
of God, which, when they heard, they would pity me,
and would tell of the Promises. But they had
as good have told me that I must reach the Sun with
my finger as have bidden me receive or rely upon the
Promise. [Yet] all this while as to the act of sinning,
I never was more tender than now; I durst not take
a pin or stick, though but so big as a straw, for my
conscience now was sore, and would smart at every touch;
I could not tell how to speak my words, for fear I
should misplace them. Oh, how gingerly did I
then go, in all I did or said! I found myself
as on a miry bog that shook if I did but stir; and
was as there left both by God and Christ, and the spirit,
and all good things.
“But my original and inward
pollution, that was my plague and my affliction.
By reason of that, I was more loathsome in my own
eyes than was a toad; and I thought I was so in God’s
eyes too. Sin and corruption, I said, would
as naturally bubble out of my heart as water would
bubble out of a fountain. I could have changed
heart with anybody. I thought none but the Devil
himself could equal me for inward wickedness and pollution
of mind. Sure, thought I, I am forsaken of God;
and thus I continued a long while, even for some years
together.
“And now I was sorry that God
had made me a man. The beasts, birds, fishes,
etc., I blessed their condition, for they had
not a sinful nature; they were not obnoxious to the
wrath of God; they were not to go to hell-fire after
death. I could therefore have rejoiced, had
my condition been as any of theirs. Now I blessed
the condition of the dog and toad, yea, gladly would
I have been in the condition of the dog or horse,
for I knew they had no soul to perish under the everlasting
weight of Hell or Sin, as mine was like to do.
Nay, and though I saw this, felt this, and was broken
to pieces with it, yet that which added to my sorrow
was, that I could not find with all my soul that I
did desire deliverance. My heart was at times
exceedingly hard. If I would have given a thousand
pounds for a tear, I could not shed one; no, nor sometimes
scarce desire to shed one.
“I was both a burthen and a
terror to myself; nor did I ever so know, as now,
what it was to be weary of my life, and yet afraid
to die. How gladly would I have been anything
but myself! Anything but a man! and in any condition
but my own.”[81]
[81] Grace abounding to the Chief
of Sinners: I have printed a number of detached
passages continuously.
Poor patient Bunyan, like Tolstoy,
saw the light again, but we must also postpone that
part of his story to another hour. In a later
lecture I will also give the end of the experience
of Henry Alline, a devoted evangelist who worked in
Nova Scotia a hundred years ago, and who thus vividly
describes the high-water mark of the religious melancholy
which formed its beginning. The type was not
unlike Bunyan’s.
“Everything I saw seemed to
be a burden to me; the earth seemed accursed for my
sake: all trees, plants, rocks, hills, and vales
seemed to be dressed in mourning and groaning, under
the weight of the curse, and everything around me
seemed to be conspiring my ruin. My sins seemed
to be laid open; so that I thought that every one
I saw knew them, and sometimes I was almost ready to
acknowledge many things, which I thought they knew:
yea sometimes it seemed to me as if every one was
pointing me out as the most guilty wretch upon earth.
I had now so great a sense of the vanity and emptiness
of all things here below, that I knew the whole world
could not possibly make me happy, no, nor the whole
system of creation. When I waked in the morning,
the first thought would be, Oh, my wretched soul,
what shall I do, where shall I go? And when
I laid down, would say, I shall be perhaps in hell
before morning. I would many times look on the
beasts with envy, wishing with all my heart I was
in their place, that I might have no soul to lose;
and when I have seen birds flying over my head, have
often thought within myself, Oh, that I could fly
away from my danger and distress! Oh, how happy
should I be, if I were in their place!”[82]
[82] The Life and Journal of the Rev.
Mr. Henry Alline, Boston 1806, pp. 25, 26. I
owe my acquaintance with this book to my colleague,
Dr. Benjamin Rand.
Envy of the placid beasts seems to
be a very widespread affection in this type of sadness.
The worst kind of melancholy is that
which takes the form of panic fear. Here is
an excellent example, for permission to print which
I have to thank the sufferer. The original is
in French, and though the subject was evidently in
a bad nervous condition at the time of which he writes,
his case has otherwise the merit of extreme simplicity.
I translate freely.
“Whilst in this state of philosophic
pessimism and general depression of spirits about
my prospects, I went one evening into a dressing-room
in the twilight to procure some article that was there;
when suddenly there fell upon me without any warning,
just as if it came out of the darkness, a horrible
fear of my own existence. Simultaneously there
arose in my mind the image of an epileptic patient
whom I had seen in the asylum, a black-haired youth
with greenish skin, entirely idiotic, who used to sit
all day on one of the benches, or rather shelves against
the wall, with his knees drawn up against his chin,
and the coarse gray undershirt, which was his only
garment, drawn over them inclosing his entire figure.
He sat there like a sort of sculptured Egyptian cat
or Peruvian mummy, moving nothing but his black eyes
and looking absolutely non-human. This image
and my fear entered into a species of combination
with each other THAT SHAPE AM I, I felt, potentially.
Nothing that I possess can defend me against that
fate, if the hour for it should strike for me as it
struck for him. There was such a horror of him,
and such a perception of my own merely momentary discrepancy
from him, that it was as if something hitherto solid
within my breast gave way entirely, and I became a
mass of quivering fear. After this the universe
was changed for me altogether. I awoke morning
after morning with a horrible dread at the pit of
my stomach, and with a sense of the insecurity of
life that I never knew before, and that I have never
felt since.[83] It was like a revelation; and although
the immediate feelings passed away, the experience
has made me sympathetic with the morbid feelings of
others ever since. It gradually faded, but for
months I was unable to go out into the dark alone.
[83] Compare Bunyan. “There
was I struck into a very great trembling, insomuch
that at some times I could, for days together, feel
my very body, as well as my mind, to shake and totter
under the sense of the dreadful judgment of God, that
should fall on those that have sinned that most fearful
and unpardonable sin. I felt also such clogging
and heat at my stomach, by reason of this my terror,
that I was, especially at some times, as if my breast-bone
would have split asunder. . . . Thus did I wind,
and twine, and shrink, under the burden that was upon
me; which burden also did so oppress me that I could
neither stand, nor go, nor lie, either at rest or
quiet.”
“In general I dreaded to be
left alone. I remember wondering how other people
could live, how I myself had ever lived, so unconscious
of that pit of insecurity beneath the surface of life.
My mother in particular, a very cheerful person, seemed
to me a perfect paradox in her unconsciousness of
danger, which you may well believe I was very careful
not to disturb by revelations of my own state of mind
(I have always thought that this experience of melancholia
of mine had a religious bearing.”
On asking this correspondent to explain
more fully what he meant by these last words, the
answer he wrote was this:—
“I mean that the fear was so
invasive and powerful that if I had not clung to scripture-texts
like ‘The eternal God is my refuge,’ etc.,
‘Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden,’
etc., ‘I am the resurrection and the life,’
etc., I think I should have grown really insane.”[84]
[84] For another case of fear equally
sudden, see Henry James: Society the Redeemed
Form of Man, Boston, 1879, pp. 43 ff.
There is no need of more examples.
The cases we have looked at are enough. One
of them gives us the vanity of mortal things; another
the sense of sin; and the remaining one describes the
fear of the universe;—and in one or other
of these three ways it always is that man’s
original optimism and self-satisfaction get leveled
with the dust.
In none of these cases was there any
intellectual insanity or delusion about matters of
fact; but were we disposed to open the chapter of
really insane melancholia, with its 159 hallucinations
and delusions, it would be a worse story still—desperation
absolute and complete, the whole universe coagulating
about the sufferer into a material of overwhelming
horror, surrounding him without opening or end.
Not the conception or intellectual perception of
evil, but the grisly blood-freezing heart-palsying
sensation of it close upon one, and no other conception
or sensation able to live for a moment in its presence.
How irrelevantly remote seem all our usual refined
optimisms and intellectual and moral consolations in
presence of a need of help like this! Here is
the real core of the religious problem: Help!
help! No prophet can claim to bring a final
message unless he says things that will have a sound
of reality in the ears of victims such as these.
But the deliverance must come in as strong a form
as the complaint, if it is to take effect; and that
seems a reason why the coarser religions, revivalistic,
orgiastic, with blood and miracles and supernatural
operations, may possibly never be displaced.
Some constitutions need them too much.
Arrived at this point, we can see
how great an antagonism may naturally arise between
the healthy-minded way of viewing life and the way
that takes all this experience of evil as something
essential. To this latter way, the morbid-minded
way, as we might call it, healthy-mindedness pure
and simple seems unspeakably blind and shallow.
To the healthy-minded way, on the other hand, the
way of the sick soul seems unmanly and diseased.
With their grubbing in rat-holes instead of living
in the light; with their manufacture of fears, and
preoccupation with every unwholesome kind of misery,
there is something almost obscene about these children
of wrath and cravers of a second birth. If religious
intolerance and hanging and burning could again become
the order of the day, there is little doubt that, however
it may have been in the past, the healthy-minded would
160 at present show themselves the less indulgent
party of the two.
In our own attitude, not yet abandoned,
of impartial onlookers, what are we to say of this
quarrel? It seems to me that we are bound to
say that morbid-mindedness ranges over the wider scale
of experience, and that its survey is the one that
overlaps. The method of averting one’s
attention from evil, and living simply in the light
of good is splendid as long as it will work.
It will work with many persons; it will work far more
generally than most of us are ready to suppose; and
within the sphere of its successful operation there
is nothing to be said against it as a religious solution.
But it breaks down impotently as soon as melancholy
comes; and even though one be quite free from melancholy
one’s self, there is no doubt that healthy-mindedness
is inadequate as a philosophical doctrine, because
the evil facts which it refuses positively to account
for are a genuine portion of reality; and they may
after all be the best key to life’s significance,
and possibly the only openers of our eyes to the deepest
levels of truth.
The normal process of life contains
moments as bad as any of those which insane melancholy
is filled with, moments in which radical evil gets
its innings and takes its solid turn. The lunatic’s
visions of horror are all drawn from the material of
daily fact. Our civilization is founded on the
shambles, and every individual existence goes out
in a lonely spasm of helpless agony. If you
protest, my friend, wait till you arrive there yourself!
To believe in the carnivorous reptiles of geologic
times is hard for our imagination—they seem
too much like mere museum specimens. Yet there
is no tooth in any one of those museum-skulls that
did not daily through long years of the foretime hold
fast to the body struggling in despair of some fated
living victim. Forms of horror just as dreadful
to the victims, if on a smaller spatial scale, fill
the world about us to-day. Here on our very
161 hearths and in our gardens the infernal
cat plays with the panting mouse, or holds the hot
bird fluttering in her jaws. Crocodiles and rattlesnakes
and pythons are at this moment vessels of life as
real as we are; their loathsome existence fills every
minute of every day that drags its length along; and
whenever they or other wild beasts clutch their living
prey, the deadly horror which an agitated melancholiac
feels is the literally right reaction on the situation.[85]
[85] Example: “It was
about eleven o’clock at night . . . but I strolled
on still with the people. . . . Suddenly upon
the left side of our road, a crackling was heard among
the bushes; all of us were alarmed, and in an instant
a tiger, rushing out of the jungle, pounced upon the
one of the party that was foremost, and carried him
off in the twinkling of an eye. The rush of the
animal, and the crush of the poor victim’s bones
in his mouth, and his last cry of distress, ‘Ho
hai!’ involuntarily reechoed by all of us, was
over in three seconds; and then I know not what happened
till I returned to my senses, when I found myself and
companions lying down on the ground as if prepared
to be devoured by our enemy the sovereign of the forest.
I find my pen incapable of describing the terror
of that dreadful moment. Our limbs stiffened,
our power of speech ceased, and our hearts beat violently,
and only a whisper of the same ‘Ho hai!’
was heard from us. In this state we crept on
all fours for some distance back, and then ran for
life with the speed of an Arab horse for about half
an hour, and fortunately happened to come to a small
village. . . . After this every one of us was
attacked with fever, attended with shivering, in which
deplorable state we remained till morning.”—Autobiography
of Lutullah a Mohammedan Gentleman, Leipzig, 1857,
p. 112.
It may indeed be that no religious
reconciliation with the absolute totality of things
is possible. Some evils, indeed, are ministerial
to higher forms of good; but it may be that there are
forms of evil so extreme as to enter into no good system
whatsoever, and that, in respect of such evil, dumb
submission or neglect to notice is the only practical
resource. This question must confront us on
a later day. But provisionally, and as a mere
matter of program and method, since the evil facts
are as genuine parts of nature as the good ones, the
philosophic presumption should be that they have some
rational significance, and that systematic healthy-mindedness,
failing as it does to accord to sorrow, pain, and
death any positive and active attention whatever,
is formally less complete than systems that try at
least to include these elements in their scope.
The completest religions would therefore
seem to be those in which the pessimistic elements
are best developed. Buddhism, of course, and
Christianity are the best known to us of these.
They are essentially religions of deliverance:
the man must die to an unreal life before he can
be born into the real life. In my next lecture,
I will try to discuss some of the psychological conditions
of this second birth. Fortunately from now onward
we shall have to deal with more cheerful subjects
than those which we have recently been dwelling on.