THE SNARE OF PREPARATION
The winter after I left school was
spent in the Woman’s Medical College of Philadelphia,
but the development of the spinal difficulty which
had shadowed me from childhood forced me into Dr.
Weir Mitchell’s hospital for the late spring,
and the next winter I was literally bound to a bed
in my sister’s house for six months. In
spite of its tedium, the long winter had its mitigations,
for after the first few weeks I was able to read with
a luxurious consciousness of leisure, and I remember
opening the first volume of Carlyle’s “Frederick
the Great” with a lively sense of gratitude
that it was not Gray’s “Anatomy,”
having found, like many another, that general culture
is a much easier undertaking than professional study.
The long illness inevitably put aside the immediate
prosecution of a medical course, and although I had
passed my examinations creditably enough in the required
subjects for the first year, I was very glad to have
a physician’s sanction for giving up clinics
and dissecting rooms and to follow his prescription
of spending the next two years in Europe.
Before I returned to America I had
discovered that there were other genuine reasons for
living among the poor than that of practicing medicine
upon them, and my brief foray into the profession
was never resumed.
The long illness left me in a state
of nervous exhaustion with which I struggled for years,
traces of it remaining long after Hull-House was opened
in 1889. At the best it allowed me but a limited
amount of energy, so that doubtless there was much
nervous depression at the foundation of the spiritual
struggles which this chapter is forced to record.
However, it could not have been all due to my health,
for as my wise little notebook sententiously remarked,
“In his own way each man must struggle, lest
the moral law become a far-off abstraction utterly
separated from his active life.”
It would, of course, be impossible
to remember that some of these struggles ever took
place at all, were it not for these selfsame notebooks,
in which, however, I no longer wrote in moments of
high resolve, but judging from the internal evidence
afforded by the books themselves, only in moments
of deep depression when overwhelmed by a sense of
failure.
One of the most poignant of these
experiences, which occurred during the first few months
after our landing upon the other side of the Atlantic,
was on a Saturday night, when I received an ineradicable
impression of the wretchedness of East London, and
also saw for the first time the overcrowded quarters
of a great city at midnight. A small party of
tourists were taken to the East End by a city missionary
to witness the Saturday night sale of decaying vegetables
and fruit, which, owing to the Sunday laws in London,
could not be sold until Monday, and, as they were
beyond safe keeping, were disposed of at auction as
late as possible on Saturday night. On Mile
End Road, from the top of an omnibus which paused
at the end of a dingy street lighted by only occasional
flares of gas, we saw two huge masses of ill-clad
people clamoring around two hucksters’ carts.
They were bidding their farthings and ha’pennies
for a vegetable held up by the auctioneer, which he
at last scornfully flung, with a gibe for its cheapness,
to the successful bidder. In the momentary pause
only one man detached himself from the groups.
He had bidden in a cabbage, and when it struck his
hand, he instantly sat down on the curb, tore it with
his teeth, and hastily devoured it, unwashed and uncooked
as it was. He and his fellows were types of
the “submerged tenth,” as our missionary
guide told us, with some little satisfaction in the
then new phrase, and he further added that so many
of them could scarcely be seen in one spot save at
this Saturday night auction, the desire for cheap food
being apparently the one thing which could move them
simultaneously. They were huddled into ill-fitting,
cast-off clothing, the ragged finery which one sees
only in East London. Their pale faces were dominated
by that most unlovely of human expressions, the cunning
and shrewdness of the bargain-hunter who starves if
he cannot make a successful trade, and yet the final
impression was not of ragged, tawdry clothing nor of
pinched and sallow faces, but of myriads of hands,
empty, pathetic, nerveless and workworn, showing white
in the uncertain light of the street, and clutching
forward for food which was already unfit to eat.
Perhaps nothing is so fraught with
significance as the human hand, this oldest tool with
which man has dug his way from savagery, and with
which he is constantly groping forward. I have
never since been able to see a number of hands held
upward, even when they are moving rhythmically in
a calisthenic exercise, or when they belong to a class
of chubby children who wave them in eager response
to a teacher’s query, without a certain revival
of this memory, a clutching at the heart reminiscent
of the despair and resentment which seized me then.
For the following weeks I went about
London almost furtively, afraid to look down narrow
streets and alleys lest they disclose again this hideous
human need and suffering. I carried with me
for days at a time that curious surprise we experience
when we first come back into the streets after days
given over to sorrow and death; we are bewildered
that the world should be going on as usual and unable
to determine which is real, the inner pang or the
outward seeming. In time all huge London came
to seem unreal save the poverty in its East End.
During the following two years on the continent,
while I was irresistibly drawn to the poorer quarters
of each city, nothing among the beggars of South Italy
nor among the salt miners of Austria carried with it
the same conviction of human wretchedness which was
conveyed by this momentary glimpse of an East London
street. It was, of course, a most fragmentary
and lurid view of the poverty of East London, and
quite unfair. I should have been shown either
less or more, for I went away with no notion of the
hundreds of men and women who had gallantly identified
their fortunes with these empty-handed people, and
who, in church and chapel, “relief works,”
and charities, were at least making an effort towards
its mitigation.
Our visit was made in November, 1883,
the very year when the Pall Mall Gazette exposure
started “The Bitter Cry of Outcast London,”
and the conscience of England was stirred as never
before over this joyless city in the East End of its
capital. Even then, vigorous and drastic plans
were being discussed, and a splendid program of municipal
reforms was already dimly outlined. Of all these,
however, I had heard nothing but the vaguest rumor.
No comfort came to me then from any
source, and the painful impression was increased because
at the very moment of looking down the East London
street from the top of the omnibus, I had been sharply
and painfully reminded of “The Vision of Sudden
Death” which had confronted De Quincey one summer’s
night as he was being driven through rural England
on a high mail coach. Two absorbed lovers suddenly
appear between the narrow, blossoming hedgerows in
the direct path of the huge vehicle which is sure to
crush them to their death. De Quincey tries to
send them a warning shout, but finds himself unable
to make a sound because his mind is hopelessly entangled
in an endeavor to recall the exact lines from the
Iliad which describe the great cry with which Achilles
alarmed all Asia militant. Only after his memory
responds is his will released from its momentary paralysis,
and he rides on through the fragrant night with the
horror of the escaped calamity thick upon him, but
he also bears with him the consciousness that he had
given himself over so many years to classic learning—that
when suddenly called upon for a quick decision in
the world of life and death, he had been able to act
only through a literary suggestion.
This is what we were all doing, lumbering
our minds with literature that only served to cloud
the really vital situation spread before our eyes.
It seemed to me too preposterous that in my first
view of the horror of East London I should have recalled
De Quincey’s literary description of the literary
suggestion which had once paralyzed him. In
my disgust it all appeared a hateful, vicious circle
which even the apostles of culture themselves admitted,
for had not one of the greatest among the moderns
plainly said that “conduct, and not culture is
three fourths of human life.”
For two years in the midst of my distress
over the poverty which, thus suddenly driven into
my consciousness, had become to me the “Weltschmerz,”
there was mingled a sense of futility, of misdirected
energy, the belief that the pursuit of cultivation
would not in the end bring either solace or relief.
I gradually reached a conviction that the first generation
of college women had taken their learning too quickly,
had departed too suddenly from the active, emotional
life led by their grandmothers and great-grandmothers;
that the contemporary education of young women had
developed too exclusively the power of acquiring knowledge
and of merely receiving impressions; that somewhere
in the process of ‘being educated’ they
had lost that simple and almost automatic response
to the human appeal, that old healthful reaction resulting
in activity from the mere presence of suffering or
of helplessness; that they are so sheltered and pampered
they have no chance even to make “the great refusal.”
In the German and French pensions,
which twenty-five years ago were crowded with American
mothers and their daughters who had crossed the seas
in search of culture, one often found the mother making
real connection with the life about her, using her
inadequate German with great fluency, gaily measuring
the enormous sheets or exchanging recipes with the
German Hausfrau, visiting impartially the nearest
kindergarten and market, making an atmosphere of her
own, hearty and genuine as far as it went, in the
house and on the street. On the other hand, her
daughter was critical and uncertain of her linguistic
acquirements, and only at ease when in the familiar
receptive attitude afforded by the art gallery and
opera house. In the latter she was swayed and
moved, appreciative of the power and charm of the music,
intelligent as to the legend and poetry of the plot,
finding use for her trained and developed powers as
she sat “being cultivated” in the familiar
atmosphere of the classroom which had, as it were,
become sublimated and romanticized.
I remember a happy busy mother who,
complacent with the knowledge that her daughter daily
devoted four hours to her music, looked up from her
knitting to say, “If I had had your opportunities
when I was young, my dear, I should have been a very
happy girl. I always had musical talent, but
such training as I had, foolish little songs and waltzes
and not time for half an hour’s practice a day.”
The mother did not dream of the sting
her words left and that the sensitive girl appreciated
only too well that her opportunities were fine and
unusual, but she also knew that in spite of some facility
and much good teaching she had no genuine talent and
never would fulfill the expectations of her friends.
She looked back upon her mother’s girlhood with
positive envy because it was so full of happy industry
and extenuating obstacles, with undisturbed opportunity
to believe that her talents were unusual. The
girl looked wistfully at her mother, but had not the
courage to cry out what was in her heart: “I
might believe I had unusual talent if I did not know
what good music was; I might enjoy half an hour’s
practice a day if I were busy and happy the rest of
the time. You do not know what life means when
all the difficulties are removed! I am simply
smothered and sickened with advantages. It is
like eating a sweet dessert the first thing in the
morning.”
This, then, was the difficulty, this
sweet dessert in the morning and the assumption that
the sheltered, educated girl has nothing to do with
the bitter poverty and the social maladjustment which
is all about her, and which, after all, cannot be concealed,
for it breaks through poetry and literature in a burning
tide which overwhelms her; it peers at her in the
form of heavy-laden market women and underpaid street
laborers, gibing her with a sense of her uselessness.
I recall one snowy morning in Saxe-Coburg,
looking from the window of our little hotel upon the
town square, that we saw crossing and recrossing it
a single file of women with semicircular, heavy, wooden
tanks fastened upon their backs. They were carrying
in this primitive fashion to a remote cooling room
these tanks filled with a hot brew incident to one
stage of beer making. The women were bent forward,
not only under the weight which they were bearing,
but because the tanks were so high that it would have
been impossible for them to have lifted their heads.
Their faces and hands, reddened in the cold morning
air, showed clearly the white scars where they had
previously been scalded by the hot stuff which splashed
if they stumbled ever so little on their way.
Stung into action by one of those sudden indignations
against cruel conditions which at times fill the young
with unexpected energy, I found myself across the
square, in company with mine host, interviewing the
phlegmatic owner of the brewery who received us with
exasperating indifference, or rather received me, for
the innkeeper mysteriously slunk away as soon as the
great magnate of the town began to speak. I
went back to a breakfast for which I had lost my appetite,
as I had for Gray’s “Life of Prince Albert”
and his wonderful tutor, Baron Stockmar, which I had
been reading late the night before. The book
had lost its fascination; how could a good man, feeling
so keenly his obligation “to make princely the
mind of his prince,” ignore such conditions
of life for the multitude of humble, hard-working
folk. We were spending two months in Dresden
that winter, given over to much reading of “The
History of Art” and after such an experience
I would invariably suffer a moral revulsion against
this feverish search after culture. It was doubtless
in such moods that I founded my admiration for Albrecht
Durer, taking his wonderful pictures, however, in the
most unorthodox manner, merely as human documents.
I was chiefly appealed to by his unwillingness to
lend himself to a smooth and cultivated view of life,
by his determination to record its frustrations and
even the hideous forms which darken the day for our
human imagination and to ignore no human complications.
I believed that his canvases intimated the coming
religious and social changes of the Reformation and
the peasants’ wars, that they were surcharged
with pity for the downtrodden, that his sad knights,
gravely standing guard, were longing to avert that
shedding of blood which is sure to occur when men forget
how complicated life is and insist upon reducing it
to logical dogmas.
The largest sum of money that I ever
ventured to spend in Europe was for an engraving of
his “St. Hubert,” the background of which
was said to be from an original Durer plate.
There is little doubt, I am afraid, that the background
as well as the figures “were put in at a later
date,” but the purchase at least registered
the high-water mark of my enthusiasm.
The wonder and beauty of Italy later
brought healing and some relief to the paralyzing
sense of the futility of all artistic and intellectual
effort when disconnected from the ultimate test of
the conduct it inspired. The serene and soothing
touch of history also aroused old enthusiasms, although
some of their manifestations were such as one smiles
over more easily in retrospection than at the moment.
I fancy that it was no smiling matter to several
people in our party, whom I induced to walk for three
miles in the hot sunshine beating down upon the Roman
Campagna, that we might enter the Eternal City on foot
through the Porta del Popolo, as pilgrims had done
for centuries. To be sure, we had really entered
Rome the night before, but the railroad station and
the hotel might have been anywhere else, and we had
been driven beyond the walls after breakfast and stranded
at the very spot where the pilgrims always said “Ecco
Roma,” as they caught the first glimpse of St.
Peter’s dome. This melodramatic entrance
into Rome, or rather pretended entrance, was the prelude
to days of enchantment, and I returned to Europe two
years later in order to spend a winter there and to
carry out a great desire to systematically study the
Catacombs. In spite of my distrust of “advantages”
I was apparently not yet so cured but that I wanted
more of them.
The two years which elapsed before
I again found myself in Europe brought their inevitable
changes. Family arrangements had so come about
that I had spent three or four months of each of the
intervening winters in Baltimore, where I seemed to
have reached the nadir of my nervous depression and
sense of maladjustment, in spite of my interest in
the fascinating lectures given there by Lanciani of
Rome, and a definite course of reading under the guidance
of a Johns Hopkins lecturer upon the United Italy
movement. In the latter I naturally encountered
the influence of Mazzini, which was a source of great
comfort to me, although perhaps I went too suddenly
from a contemplation of his wonderful ethical and
philosophical appeal to the workingmen of Italy, directly
to the lecture rooms at Johns Hopkins University, for
I was certainly much disillusioned at this time as
to the effect of intellectual pursuits upon moral
development.
The summers were spent in the old
home in northern Illinois, and one Sunday morning
I received the rite of baptism and became a member
of the Presbyterian church in the village. At
this time there was certainly no outside pressure
pushing me towards such a decision, and at twenty-five
one does not ordinarily take such a step from a mere
desire to conform. While I was not conscious
of any emotional “conversion,” I took
upon myself the outward expressions of the religious
life with all humility and sincerity. It was
doubtless true that I was
“Weary
of myself and sick of asking
What I am
and what I ought to be,”
and that various cherished safeguards
and claims to self-dependence had been broken into
by many piteous failures. But certainly I had
been brought to the conclusion that “sincerely
to give up one’s conceit or hope of being good
in one’s own right is the only door to the Universe’s
deeper reaches.” Perhaps the young clergyman
recognized this as the test of the Christian temper,
at any rate he required little assent to dogma or
miracle, and assured me that while both the ministry
and the officers of his church were obliged to subscribe
to doctrines of well-known severity, the faith required
to the laity was almost early Christian in its simplicity.
I was conscious of no change from my childish acceptance
of the teachings of the Gospels, but at this moment
something persuasive within made me long for an outward
symbol of fellowship, some bond of peace, some blessed
spot where unity of spirit might claim right of way
over all differences. There was also growing
within me an almost passionate devotion to the ideals
of democracy, and when in all history had these ideals
been so thrillingly expressed as when the faith of
the fisherman and the slave had been boldly opposed
to the accepted moral belief that the well-being of
a privileged few might justly be built upon the ignorance
and sacrifice of the many? Who was I, with my
dreams of universal fellowship, that I did not identify
myself with the institutional statement of this belief,
as it stood in the little village in which I was born,
and without which testimony in each remote hamlet of
Christendom it would be so easy for the world to slip
back into the doctrines of selection and aristocracy?
In one of the intervening summers
between these European journeys I visited a western
state where I had formerly invested a sum of money
in mortgages. I was much horrified by the wretched
conditions among the farmers, which had resulted from
a long period of drought, and one forlorn picture
was fairly burned into my mind. A number of
starved hogs—collateral for a promissory
note—were huddled into an open pen.
Their backs were humped in a curious, camel-like
fashion, and they were devouring one of their own
number, the latest victim of absolute starvation or
possibly merely the one least able to defend himself
against their voracious hunger. The farmer’s
wife looked on indifferently, a picture of despair
as she stood in the door of the bare, crude house,
and the two children behind her, whom she vainly tried
to keep out of sight, continually thrust forward their
faces almost covered by masses of coarse, sunburned
hair, and their little bare feet so black, so hard,
the great cracks so filled with dust that they looked
like flattened hoofs. The children could not
be compared to anything so joyous as satyrs, although
they appeared but half-human. It seemed to me
quite impossible to receive interest from mortgages
placed upon farms which might at any season be reduced
to such conditions, and with great inconvenience to
my agent and doubtless with hardship to the farmers,
as speedily as possible I withdrew all my investment.
But something had to be done with the money, and
in my reaction against unseen horrors I bought a farm
near my native village and also a flock of innocent-looking
sheep. My partner in the enterprise had not
chosen the shepherd’s lot as a permanent occupation,
but hoped to speedily finish his college course upon
half the proceeds of our venture. This pastoral
enterprise still seems to me to have been essentially
sound, both economically and morally, but perhaps one
partner depended too much upon the impeccability of
her motives and the other found himself too preoccupied
with study to know that it is not a real kindness
to bed a sheepfold with straw, for certainly the venture
ended in a spectacle scarcely less harrowing than
the memory it was designed to obliterate. At
least the sight of two hundred sheep with four rotting
hoofs each, was not reassuring to one whose conscience
craved economic peace. A fortunate series of
sales of mutton, wool, and farm enabled the partners
to end the enterprise without loss, and they passed
on, one to college and the other to Europe, if not
wiser, certainly sadder for the experience.
It was during this second journey
to Europe that I attended a meeting of the London
match girls who were on strike and who met daily under
the leadership of well-known labor men of London.
The low wages that were reported at the meetings,
the phossy jaw which was described and occasionally
exhibited, the appearance of the girls themselves
I did not, curiously enough, in any wise connect with
what was called the labor movement, nor did I understand
the efforts of the London trades-unionists, concerning
whom I held the vaguest notions. But of course
this impression of human misery was added to the others
which were already making me so wretched. I
think that up to this time I was still filled with
the sense which Wells describes in one of his young
characters, that somewhere in Church or State are a
body of authoritative people who will put things to
rights as soon as they really know what is wrong.
Such a young person persistently believes that behind
all suffering, behind sin and want, must lie redeeming
magnanimity. He may imagine the world to be tragic
and terrible, but it never for an instant occurs to
him that it may be contemptible or squalid or self-seeking.
Apparently I looked upon the efforts of the trades-unionists
as I did upon those of Frederic Harrison and the Positivists
whom I heard the next Sunday in Newton Hall, as a
manifestation of “loyalty to humanity”
and an attempt to aid in its progress. I was
enormously interested in the Positivists during these
European years; I imagined that their philosophical
conception of man’s religious development might
include all expressions of that for which so many
ages of men have struggled and aspired. I vaguely
hoped for this universal comity when I stood in Stonehenge,
on the Acropolis in Athens, or in the Sistine Chapel
in the Vatican. But never did I so desire it
as in the cathedrals of Winchester, Notre Dame, Amiens.
One winter’s day I traveled from Munich to
Ulm because I imagined from what the art books said
that the cathedral hoarded a medieval statement of
the Positivists’ final synthesis, prefiguring
their conception of a “Supreme Humanity.”
In this I was not altogether disappointed.
The religious history carved on the choir stalls
at Ulm contained Greek philosophers as well as Hebrew
prophets, and among the disciples and saints stood
the discoverer of music and a builder of pagan temples.
Even then I was startled, forgetting for the moment
the religious revolutions of south Germany, to catch
sight of a window showing Luther as he affixed his
thesis on the door at Wittenberg, the picture shining
clear in the midst of the older glass of saint and
symbol.
My smug notebook states that all this
was an admission that “the saints but embodied
fine action,” and it proceeds at some length
to set forth my hope for a “cathedral of humanity,”
which should be “capacious enough to house a
fellowship of common purpose,” and which should
be “beautiful enough to persuade men to hold
fast to the vision of human solidarity.”
It is quite impossible for me to reproduce this experience
at Ulm unless I quote pages more from the notebook
in which I seem to have written half the night, in
a fever of composition cast in ill-digested phrases
from Comte. It doubtless reflected also something
of the faith of the Old Catholics, a charming group
of whom I had recently met in Stuttgart, and the same
mood is easily traced in my early hopes for the Settlement
that it should unite in the fellowship of the deed
those of widely differing religious beliefs.
The beginning of 1887 found our little
party of three in very picturesque lodgings in Rome,
and settled into a certain student’s routine.
But my study of the Catacombs was brought to an abrupt
end in a fortnight by a severe attack of sciatic rheumatism,
which kept me in Rome with a trained nurse during
many weeks, and later sent me to the Riviera to lead
an invalid’s life once more. Although
my Catacomb lore thus remained hopelessly superficial,
it seemed to me a sufficient basis for a course of
six lectures which I timidly offered to a Deaconess’s
Training School during my first winter in Chicago,
upon the simple ground that this early interpretation
of Christianity is the one which should be presented
to the poor, urging that the primitive church was
composed of the poor and that it was they who took
the wonderful news to the more prosperous Romans.
The open-minded head of the school gladly accepted
the lectures, arranging that the course should be
given each spring to her graduating class of Home
and Foreign Missionaries, and at the end of the third
year she invited me to become one of the trustees of
the school. I accepted and attended one meeting
of the board, but never another, because some of the
older members objected to my membership on the ground
that “no religious instruction was given at
Hull-House.” I remember my sympathy for
the embarrassment in which the head of the school
was placed, but if I needed comfort, a bit of it came
to me on my way home from the trustees’ meeting
when an Italian laborer paid my street-car fare, according
to the custom of our simpler neighbors. Upon
my inquiry of the conductor as to whom I was indebted
for the little courtesy, he replied roughly enough,
“I cannot tell one dago from another when they
are in a gang, but sure, any one of them would do
it for you as quick as they would for the Sisters.”
It is hard to tell just when the very
simple plan which afterward developed into the Settlement
began to form itself in my mind. It may have
been even before I went to Europe for the second time,
but I gradually became convinced that it would be a
good thing to rent a house in a part of the city where
many primitive and actual needs are found, in which
young women who had been given over too exclusively
to study might restore a balance of activity along
traditional lines and learn of life from life itself;
where they might try out some of the things they had
been taught and put truth to “the ultimate test
of the conduct it dictates or inspires.”
I do not remember to have mentioned this plan to anyone
until we reached Madrid in April, 1888.
We had been to see a bull fight rendered
in the most magnificent Spanish style, where greatly
to my surprise and horror, I found that I had seen,
with comparative indifference, five bulls and many
more horses killed. The sense that this was the
last survival of all the glories of the amphitheater,
the illusion that the riders on the caparisoned horses
might have been knights of a tournament, or the matadore
a slightly armed gladiator facing his martyrdom, and
all the rest of the obscure yet vivid associations
of an historic survival, had carried me beyond the
endurance of any of the rest of the party. I
finally met them in the foyer, stern and pale with
disapproval of my brutal endurance, and but partially
recovered from the faintness and disgust which the
spectacle itself had produced upon them. I had
no defense to offer to their reproaches save that I
had not thought much about the bloodshed; but in the
evening the natural and inevitable reaction came,
and in deep chagrin I felt myself tried and condemned,
not only by this disgusting experience but by the
entire moral situation which it revealed. It
was suddenly made quite clear to me that I was lulling
my conscience by a dreamer’s scheme, that a
mere paper reform had become a defense for continued
idleness, and that I was making it a raison d’etre
for going on indefinitely with study and travel.
It is easy to become the dupe of a deferred purpose,
of the promise the future can never keep, and I had
fallen into the meanest type of self-deception in
making myself believe that all this was in preparation
for great things to come. Nothing less than the
moral reaction following the experience at a bullfight
had been able to reveal to me that so far from following
in the wake of a chariot of philanthropic fire, I
had been tied to the tail of the veriest ox-cart of
self-seeking.
I had made up my mind that next day,
whatever happened, I would begin to carry out the
plan, if only by talking about it. I can well
recall the stumbling and uncertainty with which I finally
set it forth to Miss Starr, my old-time school friend,
who was one of our party. I even dared to hope
that she might join in carrying out the plan, but
nevertheless I told it in the fear of that disheartening
experience which is so apt to afflict our most cherished
plans when they are at last divulged, when we suddenly
feel that there is nothing there to talk about, and
as the golden dream slips through our fingers we are
left to wonder at our own fatuous belief. But
gradually the comfort of Miss Starr’s companionship,
the vigor and enthusiasm which she brought to bear
upon it, told both in the growth of the plan and upon
the sense of its validity, so that by the time we
had reached the enchantment of the Alhambra, the scheme
had become convincing and tangible although still
most hazy in detail.
A month later we parted in Paris,
Miss Starr to go back to Italy, and I to journey on
to London to secure as many suggestions as possible
from those wonderful places of which we had heard,
Toynbee Hall and the People’s Palace. So
that it finally came about that in June, 1888, five
years after my first visit in East London, I found
myself at Toynbee Hall equipped not only with a letter
of introduction from Canon Fremantle, but with high
expectations and a certain belief that whatever perplexities
and discouragement concerning the life of the poor
were in store for me, I should at least know something
at first hand and have the solace of daily activity.
I had confidence that although life itself might
contain many difficulties, the period of mere passive
receptivity had come to an end, and I had at last
finished with the ever-lasting “preparation for
life,” however ill-prepared I might be.
It was not until years afterward that
I came upon Tolstoy’s phrase “the snare
of preparation,” which he insists we spread before
the feet of young people, hopelessly entangling them
in a curious inactivity at the very period of life
when they are longing to construct the world anew
and to conform it to their own ideals.
[Editor: Mary Mark Ockerbloom]
This chapter has been put on-line
as part of the buildAbook Initiative at
the Celebration of Women Writers. Initial text
entry and proof-reading of this chapter were the work
of volunteer Judi Oswalt.
[Editor: Mary Mark Ockerbloom]
[A Celebration of Women Writers]
“Chapter V: First Days
at Hull-House.” by Jane Addams (1860-1935) From:
Twenty Years at Hull-House with Autobiographical Notes.
by Jane Addams. New York: The MacMillan
Company, 1912 (c.1910) pp. 89-112.
[Editor: Mary Mark Ockerbloom]