The next day I accompanied my uncle
and aunt to a dinner-party at Mr. Wilmot’s.
He had two ladies staying with him: his niece
Annabella, a fine dashing girl, or rather young woman,
— of some five-and-twenty, too great a flirt
to be married, according to her own assertion, but
greatly admired by the gentlemen, who universally
pronounced her a splendid woman; and her gentle cousin,
Milicent Hargrave, who had taken a violent fancy to
me, mistaking me for something vastly better than
I was. And I, in return, was very fond of her.
I should entirely exclude poor Milicent in my general
animadversions against the ladies of my acquaintance.
But it was not on her account, or her cousin’s,
that I have mentioned the party: it was for
the sake of another of Mr. Wilmot’s guests,
to wit Mr. Huntingdon. I have good reason to
remember his presence there, for this was the last
time I saw him.
He did not sit near me at dinner;
for it was his fate to hand in a capacious old dowager,
and mine to be handed in by Mr. Grimsby, a friend
of his, but a man I very greatly disliked: there
was a sinister cast in his countenance, and a mixture
of lurking ferocity and fulsome insincerity in his
demeanour, that I could not away with. What
a tiresome custom that is, by-the-by — one among
the many sources of factitious annoyance of this ultra-civilised
life. If the gentlemen must lead the ladies into
the dining-room, why cannot they take those they like
best?
I am not sure, however, that Mr. Huntingdon
would have taken me, if he had been at liberty to
make his own selection. It is quite possible
he might have chosen Miss Wilmot; for she seemed bent
upon engrossing his attention to herself, and he seemed
nothing loth to pay the homage she demanded.
I thought so, at least, when I saw how they talked
and laughed, and glanced across the table, to the
neglect and evident umbrage of their respective neighbours
— and afterwards, as the gentlemen joined us
in the drawing-room, when she, immediately upon his
entrance, loudly called upon him to be the arbiter
of a dispute between herself and another lady, and
he answered the summons with alacrity, and decided
the question without a moment’s hesitation in
her favour — though, to my thinking, she was
obviously in the wrong — and then stood chatting
familiarly with her and a group of other ladies; while
I sat with Milicent Hargrave at the opposite end of
the room, looking over the latter’s drawings,
and aiding her with my critical observations and advice,
at her particular desire. But in spite of my
efforts to remain composed, my attention wandered
from the drawings to the merry group, and against
my better judgment my wrath rose, and doubtless my
countenance lowered; for Milicent, observing that I
must be tired of her daubs and scratches, begged I
would join the company now, and defer the examination
of the remainder to another opportunity. But
while I was assuring her that I had no wish to join
them, and was not tired, Mr. Huntingdon himself came
up to the little round table at which we sat.
‘Are these yours?’ said
he, carelessly taking up one of the drawings.
‘No, they are Miss Hargrave’s.’
‘Oh! well, let’s have a look at them.’
And, regardless of Miss Hargrave’s
protestations that they were not worth looking at,
he drew a chair to my side, and receiving the drawings,
one by one from my hand, successively scanned them
over, and threw them on the table, but said not a
word about them, though he was talking all the time.
I don’t know what Milicent Hargrave thought
of such conduct, but I found his conversation extremely
interesting; though, as I afterwards discovered, when
I came to analyse it, it was chiefly confined to quizzing
the different members of the company present; and
albeit he made some clever remarks, and some excessively
droll ones, I do not think the whole would appear
anything very particular, if written here, without
the adventitious aids of look, and tone, and gesture,
and that ineffable but indefinite charm, which cast
a halo over all he did and said, and which would have
made it a delight to look in his face, and hear the
music of his voice, if he had been talking positive
nonsense — and which, moreover, made me feel
so bitter against my aunt when she put a stop to this
enjoyment, by coming composedly forward, under pretence
of wishing to see the drawings, that she cared and
knew nothing about, and while making believe to examine
them, addressing herself to Mr. Huntingdon, with one
of her coldest and most repellent aspects, and beginning
a series of the most common-place and formidably formal
questions and observations, on purpose to wrest his
attention from me — on purpose to vex me, as
I thought: and having now looked through the
portfolio, I left them to their TETE-E-TETE, and seated
myself on a sofa, quite apart from the company —
never thinking how strange such conduct would appear,
but merely to indulge, at first, the vexation of the
moment, and subsequently to enjoy my private thoughts.
But I was not left long alone, for
Mr. Wilmot, of all men the least welcome, took advantage
of my isolated position to come and plant himself
beside me. I had flattered myself that I had
so effectually repulsed his advances on all former
occasions, that I had nothing more to apprehend from
his unfortunate predilection; but it seems I was mistaken:
so great was his confidence, either in his wealth
or his remaining powers of attraction, and so firm
his conviction of feminine weakness, that he thought
himself warranted to return to the siege, which he
did with renovated ardour, enkindled by the quantity
of wine he had drunk — a circumstance that rendered
him infinitely the more disgusting; but greatly as
I abhorred him at that moment, I did not like to treat
him with rudeness, as I was now his guest, and had
just been enjoying his hospitality; and I was no hand
at a polite but determined rejection, nor would it
have greatly availed me if I had, for he was too coarse-minded
to take any repulse that was not as plain and positive
as his own effrontery. The consequence was,
that he waxed more fulsomely tender, and more repulsively
warm, and I was driven to the very verge of desperation,
and about to say I know not what, when I felt my hand,
that hung over the arm of the sofa, suddenly taken
by another and gently but fervently pressed.
Instinctively, I guessed who it was, and, on looking
up, was less surprised than delighted to see Mr. Huntingdon
smiling upon me. It was like turning from some
purgatorial fiend to an angel of light, come to announce
that the season of torment was past.
‘Helen,’ said he (he frequently
called me Helen, and I never resented the freedom),
’I want you to look at this picture. Mr.
Wilmot will excuse you a moment, I’m sure.’
I rose with alacrity. He drew
my arm within his, and led me across the room to a
splendid painting of Vandyke’s that I had noticed
before, but not sufficiently examined. After
a moment of silent contemplation, I was beginning
to comment on its beauties and peculiarities, when,
playfully pressing the hand he still retained within
his arm, he interrupted me with, — ’Never
mind the picture: it was not for that I brought
you here; it was to get you away from that scoundrelly
old profligate yonder, who is looking as if he would
like to challenge me for the affront.’
‘I am very much obliged to you,’
said I. ’This is twice you have delivered
me from such unpleasant companionship.’
‘Don’t be too thankful,’
he answered: ’it is not all kindness to
you; it is partly from a feeling of spite to your tormentors
that makes me delighted to do the old fellows a bad
turn, though I don’t think I have any great
reason to dread them as rivals. Have I, Helen?’
‘You know I detest them both.’
‘And me?’
‘I have no reason to detest you.’
’But what are your sentiments
towards me? Helen — Speak! How do
you regard me?’
And again he pressed my hand; but
I feared there was more of conscious power than tenderness
in his demeanour, and I felt he had no right to extort
a confession of attachment from me when he had made
no correspondent avowal himself, and knew not what
to answer. At last I said, — ‘How
do you regard me?’
’Sweet angel, I adore you! I — ’
‘Helen, I want you a moment,’
said the distinct, low voice of my aunt, close beside
us. And I left him, muttering maledictions against
his evil angel.
‘Well, aunt, what is it?
What do you want?’ said I, following her to
the embrasure of the window.
‘I want you to join the company,
when you are fit to be seen,’ returned she,
severely regarding me; ’but please to stay here
a little, till that shocking colour is somewhat abated,
and your eyes have recovered something of their natural
expression. I should be ashamed for anyone to
see you in your present state.’
Of course, such a remark had no effect
in reducing the ’shocking colour’; on
the contrary, I felt my face glow with redoubled fires
kindled by a complication of emotions, of which indignant,
swelling anger was the chief. I offered no reply,
however, but pushed aside the curtain and looked into
the night — or rather into the lamp-lit square.
‘Was Mr. Huntingdon proposing
to you, Helen?’ inquired my too watchful relative.
‘No.’
‘What was he saying then? I heard something
very like it.’
’I don’t know what he
would have said, if you hadn’t interrupted him.’
‘And would you have accepted him, Helen, if
he had proposed?’
‘Of course not — without consulting uncle
and you.’
’Oh! I’m glad, my
dear, you have so much prudence left. Well,
now,’ she added, after a moment’s pause,
’you have made yourself conspicuous enough for
one evening. The ladies are directing inquiring
glances towards us at this moment, I see: I shall
join them. Do you come too, when you are sufficiently
composed to appear as usual.’
‘I am so now.’
‘Speak gently then, and don’t
look so malicious,’ said my calm, but provoking
aunt. ‘We shall return home shortly, and
then,’ she added with solemn significance, ‘I
have much to say to you.’
So I went home prepared for a formidable
lecture. Little was said by either party in
the carriage during our short transit homewards; but
when I had entered my room and thrown myself into an
easy-chair, to reflect on the events of the day,
my aunt followed me thither, and having dismissed
Rachel, who was carefully stowing away my ornaments,
closed the door; and placing a chair beside me, or
rather at right angles with mine, sat down. With
due deference I offered her my more commodious seat.
She declined it, and thus opened the conference:
’Do you remember, Helen, our conversation the
night but one before we left Staningley?’
‘Yes, aunt.’
’And do you remember how I warned
you against letting your heart be stolen from you
by those unworthy of its possession, and fixing your
affections where approbation did not go before, and
where reason and judgment withheld their sanction?’
’Yes; but my reason — ’
’Pardon me — and do you
remember assuring me that there was no occasion for
uneasiness on your account; for you should never be
tempted to marry a man who was deficient in sense or
principle, however handsome or charming in other respects
he might be, for you could not love him; you should
hate — despise — pity — anything
but love him — were not those your words?’
’Yes; but — ’
’And did you not say that your
affection must be founded on approbation; and that,
unless you could approve and honour and respect, you
could not love?’
’Yes; but I do approve, and honour, and respect
— ’
‘How so, my dear? Is Mr. Huntingdon a
good man?’
‘He is a much better man than you think him.’
‘That is nothing to the purpose. Is he
a good man?’
‘Yes — in some respects. He has
a good disposition.’
‘Is he a man of principle?’
’Perhaps not, exactly; but it
is only for want of thought. If he had some
one to advise him, and remind him of what is right
— ’
’He would soon learn, you think
— and you yourself would willingly undertake
to be his teacher? But, my dear, he is, I believe,
full ten years older than you — how is it that
you are so beforehand in moral acquirements?’
’Thanks to you, aunt, I have
been well brought up, and had good examples always
before me, which he, most likely, has not; and, besides,
he is of a sanguine temperament, and a gay, thoughtless
temper, and I am naturally inclined to reflection.’
’Well, now you have made him
out to be deficient in both sense and principle, by
your own confession — ’
‘Then, my sense and my principle are at his
service.’
’That sounds presumptuous, Helen.
Do you think you have enough for both; and do you
imagine your merry, thoughtless profligate would allow
himself to be guided by a young girl like you?’
’No; I should not wish to guide
him; but I think I might have influence sufficient
to save him from some errors, and I should think my
life well spent in the effort to preserve so noble
a nature from destruction. He always listens
attentively now when I speak seriously to him (and
I often venture to reprove his random way of talking),
and sometimes he says that if he had me always by
his side he should never do or say a wicked thing,
and that a little daily talk with me would make him
quite a saint. It may he partly jest and partly
flattery, but still — ’
‘But still you think it may be truth?’
’If I do think there is any
mixture of truth in it, it is not from confidence
in my own powers, but in his natural goodness.
And you have no right to call him a profligate, aunt;
he is nothing of the kind.’
’Who told you so, my dear?
What was that story about his intrigue with a married
lady — Lady who was it? — Miss Wilmot herself
was telling you the other day?’
‘It was false — false!’
I cried. ‘I don’t believe a word
of it.’
‘You think, then, that he is
a virtuous, well-conducted young man?’
’I know nothing positive respecting
his character. I only know that I have heard
nothing definite against it — nothing that could
be proved, at least; and till people can prove their
slanderous accusations, I will not believe them.
And I know this, that if he has committed errors,
they are only such as are common to youth, and such
as nobody thinks anything about; for I see that everybody
likes him, and all the mammas smile upon him, and their
daughters — and Miss Wilmot herself —
are only too glad to attract his attention.’
’Helen, the world may look upon
such offences as venial; a few unprincipled mothers
may be anxious to catch a young man of fortune without
reference to his character; and thoughtless girls may
be glad to win the smiles of so handsome a gentleman,
without seeking to penetrate beyond the surface; but
you, I trusted, were better informed than to see with
their eyes, and judge with their perverted judgment.
I did not think you would call these venial errors!’
’Nor do I, aunt; but if I hate
the sins, I love the sinner, and would do much for
his salvation, even supposing your suspicions to be
mainly true, which I do not and will not believe.’
’Well, my dear, ask your uncle
what sort of company he keeps, and if he is not banded
with a set of loose, profligate young men, whom he
calls his friends, his jolly companions, and whose
chief delight is to wallow in vice, and vie with each
other who can run fastest and furthest down the headlong
road to the place prepared for the devil and his angels.’
‘Then I will save him from them.’
’Oh, Helen, Helen! you little
know the misery of uniting your fortunes to such a
man!’
’I have such confidence in him,
aunt, notwithstanding all you say, that I would willingly
risk my happiness for the chance of securing his.
I will leave better men to those who only consider
their own advantage. If he has done amiss, I
shall consider my life well spent in saving him from
the consequences of his early errors, and striving
to recall him to the path of virtue. God grant
me success!’
Here the conversation ended, for at
this juncture my uncle’s voice was heard from
his chamber, loudly calling upon my aunt to come to
bed. He was in a bad humour that night; for his
gout was worse. It had been gradually increasing
upon him ever since we came to town; and my aunt took
advantage of the circumstance next morning to persuade
him to return to the country immediately, without
waiting for the close of the season. His physician
supported and enforced her arguments; and contrary
to her usual habits, she so hurried the preparations
for removal (as much for my sake as my uncle’s,
I think), that in a very few days we departed; and
I saw no more of Mr. Huntingdon. My aunt flatters
herself I shall soon forget him — perhaps she
thinks I have forgotten him already, for I never mention
his name; and she may continue to think so, till we
meet again — if ever that should be. I
wonder if it will?