You must go back with me to the autumn of 1827.
My father, as you know, was a sort
of gentleman farmer in -shire; and I, by his express
desire, succeeded him in the same quiet occupation,
not very willingly, for ambition urged me to higher
aims, and self-conceit assured me that, in disregarding
its voice, I was burying my talent in the earth, and
hiding my light under a bushel. My mother had
done her utmost to persuade me that I was capable
of great achievements; but my father, who thought ambition
was the surest road to ruin, and change but another
word for destruction, would listen to no scheme for
bettering either my own condition, or that of my fellow
mortals. He assured me it was all rubbish, and
exhorted me, with his dying breath, to continue in
the good old way, to follow his steps, and those of
his father before him, and let my highest ambition
be to walk honestly through the world, looking neither
to the right hand nor to the left, and to transmit
the paternal acres to my children in, at least, as
flourishing a condition as he left them to me.
’Well! — an honest and
industrious farmer is one of the most useful members
of society; and if I devote my talents to the cultivation
of my farm, and the improvement of agriculture in general,
I shall thereby benefit, not only my own immediate
connections and dependants, but, in some degree, mankind
at large:- hence I shall not have lived in vain.’
With such reflections as these I was endeavouring
to console myself, as I plodded home from the fields,
one cold, damp, cloudy evening towards the close of
October. But the gleam of a bright red fire
through the parlour window had more effect in cheering
my spirits, and rebuking my thankless repinings, than
all the sage reflections and good resolutions I had
forced my mind to frame; — for I was young then,
remember — only four-and-twenty — and
had not acquired half the rule over my own spirit that
I now possess — trifling as that may be.
However, that haven of bliss must
not be entered till I had exchanged my miry boots
for a clean pair of shoes, and my rough surtout for
a respectable coat, and made myself generally presentable
before decent society; for my mother, with all her
kindness, was vastly particular on certain points.
In ascending to my room I was met
upon the stairs by a smart, pretty girl of nineteen,
with a tidy, dumpy figure, a round face, bright, blooming
cheeks, glossy, clustering curls, and little merry
brown eyes. I need not tell you this was my sister
Rose. She is, I know, a comely matron still,
and, doubtless, no less lovely — in your eyes
— than on the happy day you first beheld her.
Nothing told me then that she, a few years hence,
would be the wife of one entirely unknown to me as
yet, but destined hereafter to become a closer friend
than even herself, more intimate than that unmannerly
lad of seventeen, by whom I was collared in the passage,
on coming down, and well-nigh jerked off my equilibrium,
and who, in correction for his impudence, received
a resounding whack over the sconce, which, however,
sustained no serious injury from the infliction; as,
besides being more than commonly thick, it was protected
by a redundant shock of short, reddish curls, that
my mother called auburn.
On entering the parlour we found that
honoured lady seated in her arm-chair at the fireside,
working away at her knitting, according to her usual
custom, when she had nothing else to do. She
had swept the hearth, and made a bright blazing fire
for our reception; the servant had just brought in
the tea-tray; and Rose was producing the sugar-basin
and tea-caddy from the cupboard in the black oak side-board,
that shone like polished ebony, in the cheerful parlour
twilight.
‘Well! here they both are,’
cried my mother, looking round upon us without retarding
the motion of her nimble fingers and glittering needles.
’Now shut the door, and come to the fire, while
Rose gets the tea ready; I’m sure you must be
starved; — and tell me what you’ve been
about all day; — I like to know what my children
have been about.’
’I’ve been breaking in
the grey colt — no easy business that —
directing the ploughing of the last wheat stubble —
for the ploughboy has not the sense to direct himself
— and carrying out a plan for the extensive
and efficient draining of the low meadowlands.’
‘That’s my brave boy!
— and Fergus, what have you been doing?’
‘Badger-baiting.’
And here he proceeded to give a particular
account of his sport, and the respective traits of
prowess evinced by the badger and the dogs; my mother
pretending to listen with deep attention, and watching
his animated countenance with a degree of maternal
admiration I thought highly disproportioned to its
object.
‘It’s time you should
be doing something else, Fergus,’ said I, as
soon as a momentary pause in his narration allowed
me to get in a word.
‘What can I do?’ replied
he; ’my mother won’t let me go to sea or
enter the army; and I’m determined to do nothing
else — except make myself such a nuisance to
you all, that you will be thankful to get rid of me
on any terms.’
Our parent soothingly stroked his
stiff, short curls. He growled, and tried to
look sulky, and then we all took our seats at the
table, in obedience to the thrice-repeated summons
of Rose.
‘Now take your tea,’ said
she; ’and I’ll tell you what I’ve
been doing. I’ve been to call on the Wilsons;
and it’s a thousand pities you didn’t
go with me, Gilbert, for Eliza Millward was there!’
‘Well! what of her?’
’Oh, nothing! — I’m
not going to tell you about her; — only that
she’s a nice, amusing little thing, when she
is in a merry humour, and I shouldn’t mind calling
her — ’
‘Hush, hush, my dear! your brother
has no such idea!’ whispered my mother earnestly,
holding up her finger.
‘Well,’ resumed Rose;
’I was going to tell you an important piece
of news I heard there — I have been bursting
with it ever since. You know it was reported
a month ago, that somebody was going to take Wildfell
Hall — and — what do you think? It
has actually been inhabited above a week! —
and we never knew!’
‘Impossible!’ cried my mother.
‘Preposterous!!!’ shrieked Fergus.
‘It has indeed! — and by a single lady!’
‘Good gracious, my dear! The place is
in ruins!’
’She has had two or three rooms
made habitable; and there she lives, all alone —
except an old woman for a servant!’
‘Oh, dear! that spoils it —
I’d hoped she was a witch,’ observed Fergus,
while carving his inch-thick slice of bread and butter.
‘Nonsense, Fergus! But isn’t it
strange, mamma?’
‘Strange! I can hardly believe it.’
’But you may believe it; for
Jane Wilson has seen her. She went with her
mother, who, of course, when she heard of a stranger
being in the neighbourhood, would be on pins and needles
till she had seen her and got all she could out of
her. She is called Mrs. Graham, and she is in
mourning — not widow’s weeds, but slightish
mourning — and she is quite young, they say,
— not above five or six and twenty, —
but so reserved! They tried all they could to
find out who she was and where she came from, and,
all about her, but neither Mrs. Wilson, with her pertinacious
and impertinent home-thrusts, nor Miss Wilson, with
her skilful manoeuvring, could manage to elicit a
single satisfactory answer, or even a casual remark,
or chance expression calculated to allay their curiosity,
or throw the faintest ray of light upon her history,
circumstances, or connections. Moreover, she
was barely civil to them, and evidently better pleased
to say ‘good-by,’ than ‘how do you
do.’ But Eliza Millward says her father
intends to call upon her soon, to offer some pastoral
advice, which he fears she needs, as, though she is
known to have entered the neighbourhood early last
week, she did not make her appearance at church on
Sunday; and she — Eliza, that is — will
beg to accompany him, and is sure she can succeed in
wheedling something out of her — you know, Gilbert,
she can do anything. And we should call some
time, mamma; it’s only proper, you know.’
‘Of course, my dear. Poor thing!
How lonely she must feel!’
’And pray, be quick about it;
and mind you bring me word how much sugar she puts
in her tea, and what sort of caps and aprons she wears,
and all about it; for I don’t know how I can
live till I know,’ said Fergus, very gravely.
But if he intended the speech to be
hailed as a master-stroke of wit, he signally failed,
for nobody laughed. However, he was not much
disconcerted at that; for when he had taken a mouthful
of bread and butter and was about to swallow a gulp
of tea, the humour of the thing burst upon him with
such irresistible force, that he was obliged to jump
up from the table, and rush snorting and choking from
the room; and a minute after, was heard screaming in
fearful agony in the garden.
As for me, I was hungry, and contented
myself with silently demolishing the tea, ham, and
toast, while my mother and sister went on talking,
and continued to discuss the apparent or non-apparent
circumstances, and probable or improbable history of
the mysterious lady; but I must confess that, after
my brother’s misadventure, I once or twice raised
the cup to my lips, and put it down again without
daring to taste the contents, lest I should injure
my dignity by a similar explosion.
The next day my mother and Rose hastened
to pay their compliments to the fair recluse; and
came back but little wiser than they went; though
my mother declared she did not regret the journey,
for if she had not gained much good, she flattered
herself she had imparted some, and that was better:
she had given some useful advice, which, she hoped,
would not be thrown away; for Mrs. Graham, though
she said little to any purpose, and appeared somewhat
self-opinionated, seemed not incapable of reflection,
— though she did not know where she had been
all her life, poor thing, for she betrayed a lamentable
ignorance on certain points, and had not even the
sense to be ashamed of it.
‘On what points, mother?’ asked I.
’On household matters, and all
the little niceties of cookery, and such things, that
every lady ought to be familiar with, whether she
be required to make a practical use of her knowledge
or not. I gave her some useful pieces of information,
however, and several excellent receipts, the value
of which she evidently could not appreciate, for she
begged I would not trouble myself, as she lived in
such a plain, quiet way, that she was sure she should
never make use of them. “No matter, my
dear,” said I; “it is what every respectable
female ought to know; — and besides, though you
are alone now, you will not be always so; you have
been married, and probably — I might say almost
certainly — will be again.” “You
are mistaken there, ma’am,” said she,
almost haughtily; “I am certain I never shall.”
— But I told her I knew better.’
‘Some romantic young widow,
I suppose,’ said I, ’come there to end
her days in solitude, and mourn in secret for the dear
departed — but it won’t last long.’
‘No, I think not,’ observed
Rose; ’for she didn’t seem very disconsolate
after all; and she’s excessively pretty —
handsome rather — you must see her, Gilbert;
you will call her a perfect beauty, though you could
hardly pretend to discover a resemblance between her
and Eliza Millward.’
’Well, I can imagine many faces
more beautiful than Eliza’s, though not more
charming. I allow she has small claims to perfection;
but then, I maintain that, if she were more perfect,
she would be less interesting.’
‘And so you prefer her faults
to other people’s perfections?’
‘Just so — saving my mother’s presence.’
’Oh, my dear Gilbert, what nonsense
you talk! — I know you don’t mean it;
it’s quite out of the question,’ said my
mother, getting up, and bustling out of the room,
under pretence of household business, in order to
escape the contradiction that was trembling on my
tongue.
After that Rose favoured me with further
particulars respecting Mrs. Graham. Her appearance,
manners, and dress, and the very furniture of the
room she inhabited, were all set before me, with rather
more clearness and precision than I cared to see them;
but, as I was not a very attentive listener, I could
not repeat the description if I would.
The next day was Saturday; and, on
Sunday, everybody wondered whether or not the fair
unknown would profit by the vicar’s remonstrance,
and come to church. I confess I looked with some
interest myself towards the old family pew, appertaining
to Wildfell Hall, where the faded crimson cushions
and lining had been unpressed and unrenewed so many
years, and the grim escutcheons, with their lugubrious
borders of rusty black cloth, frowned so sternly from
the wall above.
And there I beheld a tall, lady-like
figure, clad in black. Her face was towards
me, and there was something in it which, once seen,
invited me to look again. Her hair was raven
black, and disposed in long glossy ringlets, a style
of coiffure rather unusual in those days, but always
graceful and becoming; her complexion was clear and
pale; her eyes I could not see, for, being bent upon
her prayer-book, they were concealed by their drooping
lids and long black lashes, but the brows above were
expressive and well defined; the forehead was lofty
and intellectual, the nose, a perfect aquiline and
the features, in general, unexceptionable —
only there was a slight hollowness about the cheeks
and eyes, and the lips, though finely formed, were
a little too thin, a little too firmly compressed,
and had something about them that betokened, I thought,
no very soft or amiable temper; and I said in my heart
— ’I would rather admire you from this
distance, fair lady, than be the partner of your home.’
Just then she happened to raise her
eyes, and they met mine; I did not choose to withdraw
my gaze, and she turned again to her book, but with
a momentary, indefinable expression of quiet scorn,
that was inexpressibly provoking to me.
‘She thinks me an impudent puppy,’
thought I. ’Humph! — she shall change
her mind before long, if I think it worth while.’
But then it flashed upon me that these
were very improper thoughts for a place of worship,
and that my behaviour, on the present occasion, was
anything but what it ought to be. Previous, however,
to directing my mind to the service, I glanced round
the church to see if any one had been observing me;
— but no, — all, who were not attending
to their prayer-books, were attending to the strange
lady, — my good mother and sister among the rest,
and Mrs. Wilson and her daughter; and even Eliza Millward
was slily glancing from the corners of her eyes towards
the object of general attraction. Then she glanced
at me, simpered a little, and blushed, modestly looked
at her prayer-book, and endeavoured to compose her
features.
Here I was transgressing again; and
this time I was made sensible of it by a sudden dig
in the ribs, from the elbow of my pert brother.
For the present, I could only resent the insult by
pressing my foot upon his toes, deferring further vengeance
till we got out of church.
Now, Halford, before I close this
letter, I’ll tell you who Eliza Millward was:
she was the vicar’s younger daughter, and a
very engaging little creature, for whom I felt no
small degree of partiality; — and she knew it,
though I had never come to any direct explanation,
and had no definite intention of so doing, for my
mother, who maintained there was no one good enough
for me within twenty miles round, could not bear the
thoughts of my marrying that insignificant little
thing, who, in addition to her numerous other disqualifications,
had not twenty pounds to call her own. Eliza’s
figure was at once slight and plump, her face small,
and nearly as round as my sister’s, — complexion,
something similar to hers, but more delicate and less
decidedly blooming, — nose, retrousse, —
features, generally irregular; and, altogether, she
was rather charming than pretty. But her eyes
— I must not forget those remarkable features,
for therein her chief attraction lay — in outward
aspect at least; — they were long and narrow
in shape, the irids black, or very dark brown, the
expression various, and ever changing, but always
either preternaturally — I had almost said diabolically
— wicked, or irresistibly bewitching —
often both. Her voice was gentle and childish,
her tread light and soft as that of a cat:- but her
manners more frequently resembled those of a pretty
playful kitten, that is now pert and roguish, now timid
and demure, according to its own sweet will.
Her sister, Mary, was several years
older, several inches taller, and of a larger, coarser
build — a plain, quiet, sensible girl, who had
patiently nursed their mother, through her last long,
tedious illness, and been the housekeeper, and family
drudge, from thence to the present time. She
was trusted and valued by her father, loved and courted
by all dogs, cats, children, and poor people, and
slighted and neglected by everybody else.
The Reverend Michael Millward himself
was a tall, ponderous elderly gentleman, who placed
a shovel hat above his large, square, massive-featured
face, carried a stout walking-stick in his hand, and
incased his still powerful limbs in knee-breeches and
gaiters, – or black silk stockings on state occasions.
He was a man of fixed principles, strong prejudices,
and regular habits, intolerant of dissent in any shape,
acting under a firm conviction that his opinions were
always right, and whoever differed from them must be
either most deplorably ignorant, or wilfully blind.
In childhood, I had always been accustomed
to regard him with a feeling of reverential awe —
but lately, even now, surmounted, for, though he had
a fatherly kindness for the well-behaved, he was a
strict disciplinarian, and had often sternly reproved
our juvenile failings and peccadilloes; and moreover,
in those days, whenever he called upon our parents,
we had to stand up before him, and say our catechism,
or repeat, ‘How doth the little busy bee,’
or some other hymn, or — worse than all —
be questioned about his last text, and the heads of
the discourse, which we never could remember.
Sometimes, the worthy gentleman would reprove my mother
for being over-indulgent to her sons, with a reference
to old Eli, or David and Absalom, which was particularly
galling to her feelings; and, very highly as she respected
him, and all his sayings, I once heard her exclaim,
’I wish to goodness he had a son himself!
He wouldn’t be so ready with his advice to
other people then; — he’d see what it
is to have a couple of boys to keep in order.’
He had a laudable care for his own
bodily health — kept very early hours, regularly
took a walk before breakfast, was vastly particular
about warm and dry clothing, had never been known to
preach a sermon without previously swallowing a raw
egg — albeit he was gifted with good lungs and
a powerful voice, — and was, generally, extremely
particular about what he ate and drank, though by
no means abstemious, and having a mode of dietary peculiar
to himself, — being a great despiser of tea
and such slops, and a patron of malt liquors, bacon
and eggs, ham, hung beef, and other strong meats,
which agreed well enough with his digestive organs,
and therefore were maintained by him to be good and
wholesome for everybody, and confidently recommended
to the most delicate convalescents or dyspeptics,
who, if they failed to derive the promised benefit
from his prescriptions, were told it was because they
had not persevered, and if they complained of inconvenient
results therefrom, were assured it was all fancy.
I will just touch upon two other persons
whom I have mentioned, and then bring this long letter
to a close. These are Mrs. Wilson and her daughter.
The former was the widow of a substantial farmer,
a narrow-minded, tattling old gossip, whose character
is not worth describing. She had two sons, Robert,
a rough countrified farmer, and Richard, a retiring,
studious young man, who was studying the classics
with the vicar’s assistance, preparing for college,
with a view to enter the church.
Their sister Jane was a young lady
of some talents, and more ambition. She had,
at her own desire, received a regular boarding-school
education, superior to what any member of the family
had obtained before. She had taken the polish
well, acquired considerable elegance of manners, quite
lost her provincial accent, and could boast of more
accomplishments than the vicar’s daughters.
She was considered a beauty besides; but never for
a moment could she number me amongst her admirers.
She was about six and twenty, rather tall and very
slender, her hair was neither chestnut nor auburn,
but a most decided bright, light red; her complexion
was remarkably fair and brilliant, her head small,
neck long, chin well turned, but very short, lips
thin and red, eyes clear hazel, quick, and penetrating,
but entirely destitute of poetry or feeling.
She had, or might have had, many suitors in her own
rank of life, but scornfully repulsed or rejected
them all; for none but a gentleman could please her
refined taste, and none but a rich one could satisfy
her soaring ambition. One gentleman there was,
from whom she had lately received some rather pointed
attentions, and upon whose heart, name, and fortune,
it was whispered, she had serious designs. This
was Mr. Lawrence, the young squire, whose family had
formerly occupied Wildfell Hall, but had deserted it,
some fifteen years ago, for a more modern and commodious
mansion in the neighbouring parish.
Now, Halford, I bid you adieu for
the present. This is the first instalment of
my debt. If the coin suits you, tell me so, and
I’ll send you the rest at my leisure:
if you would rather remain my creditor than stuff
your purse with such ungainly, heavy pieces, —
tell me still, and I’ll pardon your bad taste,
and willingly keep the treasure to myself.
Yours immutably,
Gilbert Markham.