Of Our Spiritual Strivings
O water, voice of my heart, crying in the sand,
All night long crying with a mournful
cry,
As I lie and listen, and cannot understand
The voice of my heart in my
side or the voice of the sea,
O water, crying for rest, is it I, is
it I?
All night long the water is
crying to me.
Unresting water, there shall never be rest
Till the last moon droop and the last
tide fail,
And the fire of the end begin to burn in the west;
And the heart shall be weary
and wonder and cry like the sea,
All life long crying without avail,
As the water all night long
is crying to me.
Arthur SYMONS.
Between me and the other world there
is ever an unasked question: unasked by some
through feelings of delicacy; by others through the
difficulty of rightly framing it. All, nevertheless,
flutter round it. They approach me in a half-hesitant
sort of way, eye me curiously or compassionately,
and then, instead of saying directly, How does it feel
to be a problem? they say, I know an excellent colored
man in my town; or, I fought at Mechanicsville; or,
Do not these Southern outrages make your blood boil?
At these I smile, or am interested, or reduce the
boiling to a simmer, as the occasion may require.
To the real question, How does it feel to be a problem?
I answer seldom a word.
And yet, being a problem is a strange
experience,—peculiar even for one who has
never been anything else, save perhaps in babyhood
and in Europe. It is in the early days of rollicking
boyhood that the revelation first bursts upon one,
all in a day, as it were. I remember well when
the shadow swept across me. I was a little thing,
away up in the hills of New England, where the dark
Housatonic winds between Hoosac and Taghkanic to the
sea. In a wee wooden schoolhouse, something
put it into the boys’ and girls’ heads
to buy gorgeous visiting-cards—ten cents
a package—and exchange. The exchange
was merry, till one girl, a tall newcomer, refused
my card, —refused it peremptorily, with
a glance. Then it dawned upon me with a certain
suddenness that I was different from the others; or
like, mayhap, in heart and life and longing, but shut
out from their world by a vast veil. I had thereafter
no desire to tear down that veil, to creep through;
I held all beyond it in common contempt, and lived
above it in a region of blue sky and great wandering
shadows. That sky was bluest when I could beat
my mates at examination-time, or beat them at a foot-race,
or even beat their stringy heads. Alas, with
the years all this fine contempt began to fade; for
the words I longed for, and all their dazzling opportunities,
were theirs, not mine. But they should not keep
these prizes, I said; some, all, I would wrest from
them. Just how I would do it I could never decide:
by reading law, by healing the sick, by telling the
wonderful tales that swam in my head, —some
way. With other black boys the strife was not
so fiercely sunny: their youth shrunk into tasteless
sycophancy, or into silent hatred of the pale world
about them and mocking distrust of everything white;
or wasted itself in a bitter cry, Why did God make
me an outcast and a stranger in mine own house?
The shades of the prison-house closed round about
us all: walls strait and stubborn to the whitest,
but relentlessly narrow, tall, and unscalable to sons
of night who must plod darkly on in resignation, or
beat unavailing palms against the stone, or steadily,
half hopelessly, watch the streak of blue above.
After the Egyptian and Indian, the
Greek and Roman, the Teuton and Mongolian, the Negro
is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted
with second-sight in this American world, —a
world which yields him no true self-consciousness,
but only lets him see himself through the revelation
of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation,
this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking
at one’s self through the eyes of others, of
measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that
looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever
feels his twoness,—an American, a Negro;
two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings;
two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged
strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.
The history of the American Negro
is the history of this strife,—this longing
to attain self-conscious manhood, to merge his double
self into a better and truer self. In this merging
he wishes neither of the older selves to be lost.
He would not Africanize America, for America has
too much to teach the world and Africa. He would
not bleach his Negro soul in a flood of white Americanism,
for he knows that Negro blood has a message for the
world. He simply wishes to make it possible
for a man to be both a Negro and an American, without
being cursed and spit upon by his fellows, without
having the doors of Opportunity closed roughly in his
face.
This, then, is the end of his striving:
to be a co-worker in the kingdom of culture, to escape
both death and isolation, to husband and use his best
powers and his latent genius. These powers of
body and mind have in the past been strangely wasted,
dispersed, or forgotten. The shadow of a mighty
Negro past flits through the tale of Ethiopia the Shadowy
and of Egypt the Sphinx. Through history, the
powers of single black men flash here and there like
falling stars, and die sometimes before the world
has rightly gauged their brightness. Here in
America, in the few days since Emanci-pation, the
black man’s turning hither and thither in hesitant
and doubtful striving has often made his very strength
to lose effectiveness, to seem like absence of power,
like weakness. And yet it is not weakness,—it
is the contradiction of double aims. The double-aimed
struggle of the black artisan—on the one
hand to escape white contempt for a nation of mere
hewers of wood and drawers of water, and on the other
hand to plough and nail and dig for a poverty-stricken
horde— could only result in making him
a poor craftsman, for he had but half a heart in either
cause. By the poverty and ignorance of his people,
the Negro minister or doctor was tempted toward quackery
and demagogy; and by the criticism of the other world,
toward ideals that made him ashamed of his lowly tasks.
The would-be black savant was confronted by the paradox
that the knowledge his people needed was a twice-told
tale to his white neighbors, while the knowledge which
would teach the white world was Greek to his own flesh
and blood. The innate love of harmony and beauty
that set the ruder souls of his people a-dancing and
a-singing raised but confusion and doubt in the soul
of the black artist; for the beauty revealed to him
was the soul-beauty of a race which his larger audience
despised, and he could not articulate the message
of another people. This waste of double aims,
this seeking to satisfy two unreconciled ideals, has
wrought sad havoc with the courage and faith and deeds
of ten thousand thousand people,—has sent
them often wooing false gods and invoking false means
of salvation, and at times has even seemed about to
make them ashamed of themselves.
Away back in the days of bondage they
thought to see in one divine event the end of all
doubt and disappointment; few men ever worshipped
Freedom with half such unquestioning faith as did
the American Negro for two centuries. To him,
so far as he thought and dreamed, slavery was indeed
the sum of all villainies, the cause of all sorrow,
the root of all prejudice; Emancipation was the key
to a promised land of sweeter beauty than ever stretched
before the eyes of wearied Israelites. In song
and exhortation swelled one refrain—Liberty;
in his tears and curses the God he implored had Freedom
in his right hand. At last it came,—suddenly,
fearfully, like a dream. With one wild carnival
of blood and passion came the message in his own plaintive
cadences:—
“Shout, O children!
Shout, you’re free!
For God has bought your liberty!”
Years have passed away since then,—ten,
twenty, forty; forty years of national life, forty
years of renewal and development, and yet the swarthy
spectre sits in its accustomed seat at the Nation’s
feast. In vain do we cry to this our vastest
social problem:—
“Take any shape but that, and
my firm nerves Shall never tremble!”
The Nation has not yet found peace
from its sins; the freedman has not yet found in freedom
his promised land. Whatever of good may have
come in these years of change, the shadow of a deep
disappointment rests upon the Negro people,—a
disappointment all the more bitter because the unattained
ideal was unbounded save by the simple ignorance of
a lowly people.
The first decade was merely a prolongation
of the vain search for freedom, the boon that seemed
ever barely to elude their grasp,—like
a tantalizing will-o’-the-wisp, maddening and
misleading the headless host. The holocaust of
war, the terrors of the Ku-Klux Klan, the lies of
carpet-baggers, the disorganization of industry, and
the contradictory advice of friends and foes, left
the bewildered serf with no new watchword beyond the
old cry for freedom. As the time flew, however,
he began to grasp a new idea. The ideal of liberty
demanded for its attainment powerful means, and these
the Fifteenth Amendment gave him. The ballot,
which before he had looked upon as a visible sign
of freedom, he now regarded as the chief means of
gaining and perfecting the liberty with which war
had partially endowed him. And why not?
Had not votes made war and emancipated millions?
Had not votes enfranchised the freedmen? Was
anything impossible to a power that had done all this?
A million black men started with renewed zeal to
vote themselves into the kingdom. So the decade
flew away, the revolution of 1876 came, and left the
half-free serf weary, wondering, but still inspired.
Slowly but steadily, in the following years, a new
vision began gradually to replace the dream of political
power,—a pow-erful movement, the rise
of another ideal to guide the unguided, another pillar
of fire by night after a clouded day. It was
the ideal of “book-learning”; the curiosity,
born of compulsory ignorance, to know and test the
power of the cabalistic letters of the white man,
the longing to know. Here at last seemed to
have been discovered the mountain path to Canaan; longer
than the highway of Emancipation and law, steep and
rugged, but straight, leading to heights high enough
to overlook life.
Up the new path the advance guard
toiled, slowly, heavily, doggedly; only those who
have watched and guided the faltering feet, the misty
minds, the dull understandings, of the dark pupils
of these schools know how faithfully, how piteously,
this people strove to learn. It was weary work.
The cold statistician wrote down the inches of progress
here and there, noted also where here and there a
foot had slipped or some one had fallen. To
the tired climbers, the horizon was ever dark, the
mists were often cold, the Canaan was always dim and
far away. If, however, the vistas disclosed as
yet no goal, no resting-place, little but flattery
and criticism, the journey at least gave leisure for
reflection and self-examination; it changed the child
of Emancipation to the youth with dawning self-consciousness,
self-realization, self-respect. In those sombre
forests of his striving his own soul rose before him,
and he saw himself,—darkly as through a
veil; and yet he saw in himself some faint revelation
of his power, of his mission. He began to have
a dim feeling that, to attain his place in the world,
he must be himself, and not another. For the
first time he sought to analyze the burden he bore
upon his back, that dead-weight of social degradation
partially masked behind a half-named Negro problem.
He felt his poverty; without a cent, without a home,
without land, tools, or savings, he had entered into
competition with rich, landed, skilled neighbors.
To be a poor man is hard, but to be a poor race
in a land of dollars is the very bottom of hardships.
He felt the weight of his ignorance,—not
simply of letters, but of life, of business, of the
humanities; the accumulated sloth and shirking and
awkwardness of decades and centuries shackled his hands
and feet. Nor was his burden all poverty and
ignorance. The red stain of bastardy, which
two centuries of systematic legal defilement of Negro
women had stamped upon his race, meant not only the
loss of ancient African chastity, but also the hereditary
weight of a mass of corruption from white adulterers,
threatening almost the obliteration of the Negro home.
A people thus handicapped ought not
to be asked to race with the world, but rather allowed
to give all its time and thought to its own social
problems. But alas! while sociologists gleefully
count his bastards and his prostitutes, the very soul
of the toiling, sweating black man is darkened by the
shadow of a vast despair. Men call the shadow
prejudice, and learnedly explain it as the natural
defence of culture against barbarism, learning against
ignorance, purity against crime, the “higher”
against the “lower” races. To which
the Negro cries Amen! and swears that to so much of
this strange prejudice as is founded on just homage
to civilization, culture, righteousness, and progress,
he humbly bows and meekly does obeisance. But
before that nameless prejudice that leaps beyond all
this he stands helpless, dismayed, and well-nigh speechless;
before that personal disrespect and mockery, the ridicule
and systematic humiliation, the distortion of fact
and wanton license of fancy, the cynical ignoring
of the better and the boisterous welcoming of the
worse, the all-pervading desire to inculcate disdain
for everything black, from Toussaint to the devil,
—before this there rises a sickening despair
that would disarm and discourage any nation save that
black host to whom “discouragement” is
an unwritten word.
But the facing of so vast a prejudice
could not but bring the inevitable self-questioning,
self-disparagement, and lowering of ideals which ever
accompany repression and breed in an atmosphere of
contempt and hate. Whisperings and portents
came home upon the four winds: Lo! we are diseased
and dying, cried the dark hosts; we cannot write,
our voting is vain; what need of education, since
we must always cook and serve? And the Nation
echoed and enforced this self-criticism, saying:
Be content to be servants, and nothing more; what
need of higher culture for half-men? Away with
the black man’s ballot, by force or fraud,—and
behold the suicide of a race! Nevertheless,
out of the evil came something of good, —the
more careful adjustment of education to real life,
the clearer perception of the Negroes’ social
responsibilities, and the sobering realization of
the meaning of progress.
So dawned the time of Sturm und Drang:
storm and stress to-day rocks our little boat on the
mad waters of the world-sea; there is within and
without the sound of conflict, the burning of body
and rending of soul; inspiration strives with doubt,
and faith with vain questionings. The bright
ideals of the past,—physical freedom, political
power, the training of brains and the training of
hands,—all these in turn have waxed and
waned, until even the last grows dim and overcast.
Are they all wrong,—all false?
No, not that, but each alone was over-simple and incomplete,—the
dreams of a credulous race-childhood, or the fond
imaginings of the other world which does not know
and does not want to know our power. To be
really true, all these ideals must be melted and welded
into one. The training of the schools we need
to-day more than ever,—the training of
deft hands, quick eyes and ears, and above all the
broader, deeper, higher culture of gifted minds and
pure hearts. The power of the ballot we need
in sheer self-defence,—else what shall
save us from a second slavery? Freedom, too,
the long-sought, we still seek,—the freedom
of life and limb, the freedom to work and think, the
freedom to love and aspire. Work, culture, liberty,—all
these we need, not singly but together, not successively
but together, each growing and aiding each, and all
striving toward that vaster ideal that swims before
the Negro people, the ideal of human brotherhood,
gained through the unifying ideal of Race; the ideal
of fostering and developing the traits and talents
of the Negro, not in opposition to or contempt for
other races, but rather in large conformity to the
greater ideals of the American Republic, in order
that some day on American soil two world-races may
give each to each those characteristics both so sadly
lack. We the darker ones come even now not altogether
empty-handed: there are to-day no truer exponents
of the pure human spirit of the Declaration of Independence
than the American Negroes; there is no true American
music but the wild sweet melodies of the Negro slave;
the American fairy tales and folklore are Indian and
African; and, all in all, we black men seem the sole
oasis of simple faith and reverence in a dusty desert
of dollars and smartness. Will America be poorer
if she replace her brutal dyspeptic blundering with
light-hearted but determined Negro humility? or her
coarse and cruel wit with loving jovial good-humor?
or her vulgar music with the soul of the Sorrow Songs?
Merely a concrete test of the underlying
principles of the great republic is the Negro Problem,
and the spiritual striving of the freedmen’s
sons is the travail of souls whose burden is almost
beyond the measure of their strength, but who bear
it in the name of an historic race, in the name of
this the land of their fathers’ fathers, and
in the name of human opportunity.
And now what I have briefly sketched
in large outline let me on coming pages tell again
in many ways, with loving emphasis and deeper detail,
that men may listen to the striving in the souls of
black folk.