One afternoon, at low water, Mr. Isbister,
a young artist lodging at Boscastle, walked from that
place to the picturesque cove of Pentargen, desiring
to examine the caves there. Halfway down the precipitous
path to the Pentargen beach he came suddenly upon
a man sitting in an attitude of profound distress
beneath a projecting mass of rock. The hands of
this man hung limply over his knees, his eyes were
red and staring before him, and his face was wet with
tears.
He glanced round at Isbister’s
footfall. Both men were disconcerted, Isbister
the more so, and, to override the awkwardness of his
involuntary pause, he remarked, with an air of mature
conviction, that the weather was hot for the time
of year.
“Very,” answered the stranger
shortly, hesitated a second, and added in a colourless
tone, “I can’t sleep.”
Isbister stopped abruptly. “No?”
was all he said, but his bearing conveyed his helpful
impulse.
“It may sound incredible,”
said the stranger, turning weary eyes to Isbister’s
face and emphasizing his words with a languid hand,
“but I have had no sleep—no sleep
at all for six nights.”
“Had advice?”
“Yes. Bad advice for the
most part. Drugs. My nervous system….
They are all very well for the run of people.
It’s hard to explain. I dare not take …
sufficiently powerful drugs.”
“That makes it difficult,” said Isbister.
He stood helplessly in the narrow
path, perplexed what to do. Clearly the man wanted
to talk. An idea natural enough under the circumstances,
prompted him to keep the conversation going. “I’ve
never suffered from sleeplessness myself,” he
said in a tone of commonplace gossip, “but in
those cases I have known, people have usually found
something—”
“I dare make no experiments.”
He spoke wearily. He gave a gesture
of rejection, and for a space both men were silent.
“Exercise?” suggested
Isbister diffidently, with a glance from his interlocutor’s
face of wretchedness to the touring costume he wore.
“That is what I have tried.
Unwisely perhaps. I have followed the coast,
day after day—from New Quay. It has
only added muscular fatigue to the mental. The
cause of this unrest was overwork—trouble.
There was something—”
He stopped as if from sheer fatigue.
He rubbed his forehead with a lean hand. He resumed
speech like one who talks to himself.
“I am a lone wolf, a solitary
man, wandering through a world in which I have no
part. I am wifeless—childless—who
is it speaks of the childless as the dead twigs on
the tree of life? I am wifeless, childless—I
could find no duty to do. No desire even in my
heart. One thing at last I set myself to do.
“I said, I will do this,
and to do it, to overcome the inertia of this dull
body, I resorted to drugs. Great God, I’ve
had enough of drugs! I don’t know if you
feel the heavy inconvenience of the body, its exasperating
demand of time from the mind—time—life!
Live! We only live in patches. We have to
eat, and then comes the dull digestive complacencies—or
irritations. We have to take the air or else our
thoughts grow sluggish, stupid, run into gulfs and
blind alleys. A thousand distractions arise from
within and without, and then comes drowsiness and
sleep. Men seem to live for sleep. How little
of a man’s day is his own—even at
the best! And then come those false friends,
those Thug helpers, the alkaloids that stifle natural
fatigue and kill rest—black coffee, cocaine—”
“I see,” said Isbister.
“I did my work,” said the sleepless man
with a querulous intonation.
“And this is the price?”
“Yes.”
For a little while the two remained without speaking.
“You cannot imagine the craving
for rest that I feel—a hunger and thirst.
For six long days, since my work was done, my mind
has been a whirlpool, swift, unprogressive and incessant,
a torrent of thoughts leading nowhere, spinning round
swift and steady—” He paused.
“Towards the gulf.”
“You must sleep,” said
Isbister decisively, and with an air of a remedy discovered.
“Certainly you must sleep.”
“My mind is perfectly lucid.
It was never clearer. But I know I am drawing
towards the vortex. Presently—”
“Yes?”
“You have seen things go down
an eddy? Out of the light of the day, out of
this sweet world of sanity—down—”
“But,” expostulated Isbister.
The man threw out a hand towards him,
and his eyes were wild, and his voice suddenly high.
“I shall kill myself. If in no other way—at
the foot of yonder dark precipice there, where the
waves are green, and the white surge lifts and falls,
and that little thread of water trembles down.
There at any rate is … sleep.”
“That’s unreasonable,”
said Isbister, startled at the man’s hysterical
gust of emotion. “Drugs are better than
that.”
“There at any rate is sleep,”
repeated the stranger, not heeding him.
Isbister looked at him. “It’s
not a cert, you know,” he remarked. “There’s
a cliff like that at Lulworth Cove—as high,
anyhow—and a little girl fell from top
to bottom. And lives to-day—sound and
well.”
“But those rocks there?”
“One might lie on them rather
dismally through a cold night, broken bones grating
as one shivered, chill water splashing over you.
Eh?”
Their eyes met. “Sorry
to upset your ideals,” said Isbister with a sense
of devil-may-careish brilliance. “But a
suicide over that cliff (or any cliff for the matter
of that), really, as an artist—” He
laughed. “It’s so damned amateurish.”
“But the other thing,”
said the sleepless man irritably, “the other
thing. No man can keep sane if night after night—”
“Have you been walking along this coast alone?”
“Yes.”
“Silly sort of thing to do.
If you’ll excuse my saying so. Alone!
As you say; body fag is no cure for brain fag.
Who told you to? No wonder; walking! And
the sun on your head, heat, fag, solitude, all the
day long, and then, I suppose, you go to bed and try
very hard—eh?”
Isbister stopped short and looked at the sufferer
doubtfully.
“Look at these rocks!”
cried the seated man with a sudden force of gesture.
“Look at that sea that has shone and quivered
there for ever! See the white spume rush into
darkness under that great cliff. And this blue
vault, with the blinding sun pouring from the dome
of it. It is your world. You accept it,
you rejoice in it. It warms and supports and
delights you. And for me—”
He turned his head and showed a ghastly
face, bloodshot pallid eyes and bloodless lips.
He spoke almost in a whisper. “It is the
garment of my misery. The whole world … is
the garment of my misery.”
Isbister looked at all the wild beauty
of the sunlit cliffs about them and back to that face
of despair. For a moment he was silent.
He started, and made a gesture of
impatient rejection. “You get a night’s
sleep,” he said, “and you won’t see
much misery out here. Take my word for it.”
He was quite sure now that this was
a providential encounter. Only half an hour ago
he had been feeling horribly bored. Here was employment
the bare thought of which, was righteous self-applause.
He took possession forthwith. The first need
of this exhausted being was companionship. He
flung himself down on the steeply sloping turf beside
the motionless seated figure, and threw out a skirmishing
line of gossip.
His hearer lapsed into apathy; he
stared dismally seaward, and spoke only in answer
to Isbister’s direct questions—and
not to all of those. But he made no objection
to this benevolent intrusion upon his despair.
He seemed even grateful, and when
presently Isbister, feeling that his unsupported talk
was losing vigour, suggested that they should reascend
the steep and return towards Boscastle, alleging the
view into Blackapit, he submitted quietly. Halfway
up he began talking to himself, and abruptly turned
a ghastly face on his helper. “What can
be happening?” he asked with a gaunt illustrative
hand. “What can be happening? Spin,
spin, spin, spin. It goes round and round, round
and round for evermore.”
He stood with his hand circling.
“It’s all right, old chap,”
said Isbister with the air of an old friend.
“Don’t worry yourself. Trust to me,”
The man dropped his hand and turned
again. They went over the brow and to the headland
beyond Penally, with the sleepless man gesticulating
ever and again, and speaking fragmentary things concerning
his whirling brain. At the headland they stood
by the seat that looks into the dark mysteries of
Blackapit, and then he sat down. Isbister had
resumed his talk whenever the path had widened sufficiently
for them to walk abreast. He was enlarging upon
the complex difficulty of making Boscastle Harbour
in bad weather, when suddenly and quite irrelevantly
his companion interrupted him again.
“My head is not like what it
was,” he said, gesticulating for want of expressive
phrases. “It’s not like what it was.
There is a sort of oppression, a weight. No—not
drowsiness, would God it were! It is like a shadow,
a deep shadow falling suddenly and swiftly across something
busy. Spin, spin into the darkness. The tumult
of thought, the confusion, the eddy and eddy.
I can’t express it. I can hardly keep my
mind on it—steadily enough to tell you.”
He stopped feebly.
“Don’t trouble, old chap,”
said Isbister. “I think I can understand.
At any rate, it don’t matter very much just
at present about telling me, you know.”
The sleepless man thrust his knuckles
into his eyes and rubbed them. Isbister talked
for awhile while this rubbing continued, and then he
had a fresh idea. “Come down to my room,”
he said, “and try a pipe. I can show you
some sketches of this Blackapit. If you’d
care?”
The other rose obediently and followed
him down the steep.
Several times Isbister heard him stumble
as they came down, and his movements were slow and
hesitating. “Come in with me,” said
Isbister, “and try some cigarettes and the blessed
gift of alcohol. If you take alcohol?”
The stranger hesitated at the garden
gate. He seemed no longer aware of his actions.
“I don’t drink,” he said slowly,
coming up the garden path, and after a moment’s
interval repeated absently, “No—I
don’t drink. It goes round. Spin,
it goes—spin—”
He stumbled at the doorstep and entered
the room with the bearing of one who sees nothing.
Then he sat down heavily in the easy
chair, seemed almost to fall into it. He leant
forward with his brows on his hands and became motionless.
Presently he made a faint sound in his throat.
Isbister moved about the room with
the nervousness of an inexperienced host, making little
remarks that scarcely required answering. He
crossed the room to his portfolio, placed it on the
table and noticed the mantel clock.
“I don’t know if you’d
care to have supper with me,” he said with an
unlighted cigarette in his hand—his mind
troubled with ideas of a furtive administration of
chloral. “Only cold mutton, you know, but
passing sweet. Welsh. And a tart, I believe.”
He repeated this after momentary silence.
The seated man made no answer.
Isbister stopped, match in hand, regarding him.
The stillness lengthened. The
match went out, the cigarette was put down unlit.
The man was certainly very still. Isbister took
up the portfolio, opened it, put it down, hesitated,
seemed about to speak. “Perhaps,”
he whispered doubtfully. Presently he glanced
at the door and back to the figure. Then he stole
on tiptoe out of the room, glancing at his companion
after each elaborate pace.
He closed the door noiselessly.
The house door was standing open, and he went out
beyond the porch, and stood where the monkshood rose
at the corner of the garden bed. From this point
he could see the stranger through the open window,
still and dim, sitting head on hand. He had not
moved.
A number of children going along the
road stopped and regarded the artist curiously.
A boatman exchanged civilities with him. He felt
that possibly his circumspect attitude and position
looked peculiar and unaccountable. Smoking, perhaps,
might seem more natural. He drew pipe and pouch
from his pocket, filled the pipe slowly.
“I wonder,” ... he said,
with a scarcely perceptible loss of complacency.
“At any rate one must give him a chance.”
He struck a match in the virile way, and proceeded
to light his pipe.
He heard his landlady behind him,
coming with his lamp lit from the kitchen. He
turned, gesticulating with his pipe, and stopped her
at the door of his sitting-room. He had some
difficulty in explaining the situation in whispers,
for she did not know he had a visitor. She retreated
again with the lamp, still a little mystified to judge
from her manner, and he resumed his hovering at the
corner of the porch, flushed and less at his ease.
Long after he had smoked out his pipe,
and when the bats were abroad, curiosity dominated
his complex hesitations, and he stole back into his
darkling sitting-room. He paused in the doorway.
The stranger was still in the same attitude, dark
against the window. Save for the singing of some
sailors aboard one of the little slate-carrying ships
in the harbour the evening was very still. Outside,
the spikes of monkshood and delphinium stood erect
and motionless against the shadow of the hillside.
Something flashed into Isbister’s mind; he started,
and leaning over the table, listened. An unpleasant
suspicion grew stronger; became conviction. Astonishment
seized him and became—dread!
No sound of breathing came from the seated figure!
He crept slowly and noiselessly round
the table, pausing twice to listen. At last he
could lay his hand on the back of the armchair.
He bent down until the two heads were ear to ear.
Then he bent still lower to look up
at his visitor’s face. He started violently
and uttered an exclamation. The eyes were void
spaces of white.
He looked again and saw that they
were open and with the pupils rolled under the lids.
He was afraid. He took the man by the shoulder
and shook him. “Are you asleep?”
he said, with his voice jumping, and again, “Are
you asleep?”
A conviction took possession of his
mind that this man was dead. He became active
and noisy, strode across the room, blundering against
the table as he did so, and rang the bell.
“Please bring a light at once,”
he said in the passage. “There is something
wrong with my friend.”
He returned to the motionless seated
figure, grasped the shoulder, shook it, shouted.
The room was flooded with yellow glare as his landlady
entered with the light. His face was white as
he turned blinking towards her. “I must
fetch a doctor,” he said. “It is either
death or a fit. Is there a doctor in the village?
Where is a doctor to be found?”