I
He arrived promptly at half-past four
and in his capacious hands were three packages which
arrested her eyes at once. He presented them one
by one.
“Sugar. Loaf of white bread.
Candy—I’m also solid with one of the
doctors.”
“I feel like pinching myself.
White bread!—I’ve only tasted it twice
in two years-both times at the Crillon. And candy—not
a sight of it for more than that. I don’t
like the heavy French chocolates, which were all one
could get when one could get anything. I shall
eat at least half and take the other half back to
Gora.”
“Miss Dwight? She’s
done good work, I’ll bet. Just in her line.
Somehow, I don’t see you—What did
you do?”
He watched her hungrily as she made
the tea, sitting in a gilt and brocaded chair, whose
high tarnished back seemed to frame her dark head.
“Oh, Lord!” he sighed.
“What is it?”
“Don’t ask me. What’ve you
been doing? Yes, I’ll drink tea to please
you.”
“I nursed at first—as an auxiliary,
of course—what is the matter?”
“Can’t bear to think of
it. I hope you’ve not been doin’ that
for four years!”
“Oh, no. I’ve been
at work with a war-relief organization in Paris most
of the time. That was too monotonous to talk
about, and, thank heaven, this will probably end my
connection with it. I am much more interested
to know how the war has affected you. Are you
still a socialist?”
“Ain’t I!”
“Not going Bolshevik, I hope.”
“Not so’s you’d
notice it. I want changes all right and more’n
ever, but I’ve had enough of blood and fury
and mix-ups without copying them murdering skally-wags.
That’s all they are. Just out for loot and
revenge and not sense enough to know that to-morrow
there’ll be no loot, and revenge’ll come
from the opposite direction. I may have been in
hell but my head’s screwed on in the same place,”
“I wondered…I’ve heard
so many stories about the grievances of the soldiers.”
“Every last one of ’em
got a grievance. Hate their officers, and often
reason enough. Hate the discipline. Hate
the food. Hate the neglect in hospital when the
flu is raging. Hate gettin’ no letters,
and as like as not no pay and no tobacco. Hate
bein’ gouged by the French like they were by
the good Americans when they were in camp on the other
side. Hate every last thing a man just naturally
would hate when he is livin’ in a filthy trench,
or even camp, and homesick in the bargain….But as
for mass-dissatisfaction—not a bit of it.
Loyal as they make ’em. Laugh at Bolshevik
propaganda just like they laughed at Hun propaganda.
They just naturally seem to hate every other race,
allied or enemy, and that makes them so all-fired
American they’re fit to bust. Of course
there’s plenty of skallywags—caught
in the draft—and just waitin’ to get
home and turn loose on the community. But in
the good old style: burglars, highwaymen, yeggs.
Not a new frill. Europe hasn’t a thing on
the good old American criminal brand. They fought
well, too. Any man does who’s a man at all.
But Lord! they’ll cut loose when they get back.
Every wild bad trait they was born with multiplied
by one hundred and fifty…before I go any further
I want to warn you that I’m liable to break
out into bad language any minute. It gets to
be a kind of habit in the army to swear every other
word like.”
“Don’t mind me,”
said Alexina dryly. “After I was put out
of my hotel I managed to get a room in one of the
hotels on the Rue de Rivoli for two nights before
I found my pension in Passy. The walls were thin.
The room next to mine was occupied by two American
officers and the one beyond by two more. They
talked back and forth with apparently no thought of
the possibility of being overheard. Such language!
And not only swear words—although one of
these to two of any. Such adventures as they
related! Such frankness! Such plain undiluted
Anglo-Saxon! Fancy a girl with all her illusions
fresh, and worshiping some heroic figure in khaki,
listening to such a revelation of the nether side of
man’s life!”
“Men are hogs, all right.
I don’t like the idea of your having heard such
things.” Kirkpatrick scowled heavily.
“Nor did I. But I had no cotton
to put in my ears. I couldn’t sleep in the
street. Nor could I ask them to keep quiet and
admit I had heard them.”
“Well, I guess you can forget
anything you have a mind to. You couldn’t
look like you do—a kind of princess out
of a fairy tale and an angel mixed, if you couldn’t.”
“A black-haired angel!
And all the princesses of legend had golden hair.”
“Well, that’s just another
way you’re different.” He changed
the subject abruptly. “What you goin’
to do now!”
“I wish I knew.”
“Goin’ back to California?”
“If I knew I would tell you.
But I don’t. You see….Well, I shall not
live with Mr. Dwight again. We had been really
separated a long while before I left—and
then he has done nothing for the war. That is
only one reason. What should I do there?
I had thought of going into business before I left.
But I shall have a good income, and what right have
I to go into business and use my large connection
to get customers away from those that need the money
for their actual bread?”
“Not the ghost of an excuse.
Farce, I call it. As long as the present system
lasts women of your class better be ornamental and
satisfied with that than take the bread out of mouths
that need it.”
“I could not settle down to
the old life. It isn’t that I’m in
love with work. For that matter I’m only
too grateful to be able to rest. But I must fill
in, some way. Possibly I could do that better
in France or England, where vita! subjects are always
being discussed—and happening!—where
I would not only be interested but possibly useful
in many ways. I should feel rather a brute, knowing
the conditions of Europe as I do, to go back and settle
down on the smiling abundance of California. And
bored to death.”
“Then you think you’ll
stay?...You’d be wasted there—at present—sure
enough.”
“Sometimes I think I’ll
buy this house. I could for a song. Heavens!
How I have longed for solitude in the last
four years! I could have it here with my books,
and go to Paris as often as I wished. It would
be an ideal life. I could afford a car, and to
make this house very livable. And that garden…between
those gray high walls…in there…that would….”
She had forgotten Kirkpatrick and
was staring through the long windows at the dripping
trees and the riot of green. “There is something
about the old world…in its byways like this…not
in its hateful capitals….”
“Do you mean there’s something
you want to forget? That this place would be
consolin’ like?”
She met Kirkpatrick’s sharp
dilated eyes with smiling composure. “This
war, and much that has happened—incidental
to it; yes.”
“You could forget it easier in California.”
“I should forget too much.”
“It’s awful to think of
you not comin’ back, though I understand well
enough. Europe suits you all right. But…but….”
He rose abruptly almost overturning his fragile chair.
“Good-by, and as I guess it
is good-by I’ll tell you something I wouldn’t
if there was any chance of my seein’ you like
I used to. It’s this: If I’m
more of a socialist than ever it’s because of
you! If my class hatred’s blacker
than ever you’re the cause! You’d
have made me a socialist if I wasn’t one before.
Jesus Christ! When I think what I might
have had if we’d all been born alike! Had
the same chances! If you hadn’t been born
at the top and I down at the bottom…common…not
even educated except by myself after I was too old
to get what a boy gets that goes to school long enough.
I wouldn’t mind bein’ born ugly. There’s
plenty of men at the top that’s ugly enough,
God knows. But just one generation with money
irons out the commonness. That’s it!
I’m common! Common! Common. Democracy!
Oh, God!”
He caught up his cap and rushed out of the room,
Alexina ran after him and caught him
at the garden door. Like all beautiful women
who have listened to many declarations of love (or
avoided them) she was inclined to be cruel to men
that roused no response in her. But she felt
only pity for Kirkpatrick.
She had intended merely to insist
upon shaking hands with him, but when she saw his
contorted face she slipped her arm round his neck and
kissed him warmly on the cheek.
Then she pushed him gently through the door and locked
it.