It was on the ninth of November, the
eve of his own thirty-eighth birthday, as he often
remembered afterwards.
He was walking home about eleven o’clock
from Lord Henry’s, where he had been dining,
and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold
and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square
and South Audley Street, a man passed him in the mist,
walking very fast and with the collar of his grey ulster
turned up. He had a bag in his hand. Dorian
recognized him. It was Basil Hallward.
A strange sense of fear, for which he could not account,
came over him. He made no sign of recognition
and went on quickly in the direction of his own house.
But Hallward had seen him. Dorian
heard him first stopping on the pavement and then
hurrying after him. In a few moments, his hand
was on his arm.
“Dorian! What an extraordinary
piece of luck! I have been waiting for you in
your library ever since nine o’clock. Finally
I took pity on your tired servant and told him to go
to bed, as he let me out. I am off to Paris
by the midnight train, and I particularly wanted to
see you before I left. I thought it was you,
or rather your fur coat, as you passed me. But
I wasn’t quite sure. Didn’t you recognize
me?”
“In this fog, my dear Basil?
Why, I can’t even recognize Grosvenor Square.
I believe my house is somewhere about here, but I don’t
feel at all certain about it. I am sorry you
are going away, as I have not seen you for ages.
But I suppose you will be back soon?”
“No: I am going to be
out of England for six months. I intend to take
a studio in Paris and shut myself up till I have finished
a great picture I have in my head. However, it
wasn’t about myself I wanted to talk.
Here we are at your door. Let me come in for
a moment. I have something to say to you.”
“I shall be charmed. But
won’t you miss your train?” said Dorian
Gray languidly as he passed up the steps and opened
the door with his latch-key.
The lamplight struggled out through
the fog, and Hallward looked at his watch. “I
have heaps of time,” he answered. “The
train doesn’t go till twelve-fifteen, and it
is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my way
to the club to look for you, when I met you.
You see, I shan’t have any delay about luggage,
as I have sent on my heavy things. All I have
with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria
in twenty minutes.”
Dorian looked at him and smiled.
“What a way for a fashionable painter to travel!
A Gladstone bag and an ulster! Come in, or
the fog will get into the house. And mind you
don’t talk about anything serious. Nothing
is serious nowadays. At least nothing should
be.”
Hallward shook his head, as he entered,
and followed Dorian into the library. There was
a bright wood fire blazing in the large open hearth.
The lamps were lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case
stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass
tumblers, on a little marqueterie table.
“You see your servant made me
quite at home, Dorian. He gave me everything
I wanted, including your best gold-tipped cigarettes.
He is a most hospitable creature. I like him
much better than the Frenchman you used to have.
What has become of the Frenchman, by the bye?”
Dorian shrugged his shoulders.
“I believe he married Lady Radley’s maid,
and has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker.
Anglomania is very fashionable over there now, I
hear. It seems silly of the French, doesn’t
it? But—do you know?—he
was not at all a bad servant. I never liked him,
but I had nothing to complain about. One often
imagines things that are quite absurd. He was
really very devoted to me and seemed quite sorry when
he went away. Have another brandy-and-soda?
Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always
take hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to
be some in the next room.”
“Thanks, I won’t have
anything more,” said the painter, taking his
cap and coat off and throwing them on the bag that
he had placed in the corner. “And now,
my dear fellow, I want to speak to you seriously.
Don’t frown like that. You make it so
much more difficult for me.”
“What is it all about?”
cried Dorian in his petulant way, flinging himself
down on the sofa. “I hope it is not about
myself. I am tired of myself to-night. I
should like to be somebody else.”
“It is about yourself,”
answered Hallward in his grave deep voice, “and
I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half
an hour.”
Dorian sighed and lit a cigarette.
“Half an hour!” he murmured.
“It is not much to ask of you,
Dorian, and it is entirely for your own sake that
I am speaking. I think it right that you should
know that the most dreadful things are being said
against you in London.”
“I don’t wish to know
anything about them. I love scandals about other
people, but scandals about myself don’t interest
me. They have not got the charm of novelty.”
“They must interest you, Dorian.
Every gentleman is interested in his good name.
You don’t want people to talk of you as something
vile and degraded. Of course, you have your position,
and your wealth, and all that kind of thing.
But position and wealth are not everything.
Mind you, I don’t believe these rumours at all.
At least, I can’t believe them when I see you.
Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man’s
face. It cannot be concealed. People talk
sometimes of secret vices. There are no such
things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows
itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his
eyelids, the moulding of his hands even. Somebody—I
won’t mention his name, but you know him—came
to me last year to have his portrait done. I
had never seen him before, and had never heard anything
about him at the time, though I have heard a good deal
since. He offered an extravagant price.
I refused him. There was something in the shape
of his fingers that I hated. I know now that
I was quite right in what I fancied about him.
His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your
pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled
youth— I can’t believe anything against
you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you
never come down to the studio now, and when I am away
from you, and I hear all these hideous things that
people are whispering about you, I don’t know
what to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like
the Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when
you enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen
in London will neither go to your house or invite
you to theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord
Staveley. I met him at dinner last week.
Your name happened to come up in conversation, in
connection with the miniatures you have lent to the
exhibition at the Dudley. Staveley curled his
lip and said that you might have the most artistic
tastes, but that you were a man whom no pure-minded
girl should be allowed to know, and whom no chaste
woman should sit in the same room with. I reminded
him that I was a friend of yours, and asked him what
he meant. He told me. He told me right
out before everybody. It was horrible!
Why is your friendship so fatal to young men?
There was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed
suicide. You were his great friend. There
was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England with
a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable.
What about Adrian Singleton and his dreadful end?
What about Lord Kent’s only son and his career?
I met his father yesterday in St. James’s Street.
He seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What
about the young Duke of Perth? What sort of life
has he got now? What gentleman would associate
with him?”
“Stop, Basil. You are
talking about things of which you know nothing,”
said Dorian Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of
infinite contempt in his voice. “You ask
me why Berwick leaves a room when I enter it.
It is because I know everything about his life, not
because he knows anything about mine. With such
blood as he has in his veins, how could his record
be clean? You ask me about Henry Ashton and young
Perth. Did I teach the one his vices, and the
other his debauchery? If Kent’s silly son
takes his wife from the streets, what is that to me?
If Adrian Singleton writes his friend’s name
across a bill, am I his keeper? I know how people
chatter in England. The middle classes air their
moral prejudices over their gross dinner-tables, and
whisper about what they call the profligacies of their
betters in order to try and pretend that they are
in smart society and on intimate terms with the people
they slander. In this country, it is enough for
a man to have distinction and brains for every common
tongue to wag against him. And what sort of lives
do these people, who pose as being moral, lead themselves?
My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native
land of the hypocrite.”
“Dorian,” cried Hallward,
“that is not the question. England is bad
enough I know, and English society is all wrong.
That is the reason why I want you to be fine.
You have not been fine. One has a right to
judge of a man by the effect he has over his friends.
Yours seem to lose all sense of honour, of goodness,
of purity. You have filled them with a madness
for pleasure. They have gone down into the depths.
You led them there. Yes: you led them there,
and yet you can smile, as you are smiling now.
And there is worse behind. I know you and Harry
are inseparable. Surely for that reason, if
for none other, you should not have made his sister’s
name a by-word.”
“Take care, Basil. You go too far.”
“I must speak, and you must
listen. You shall listen. When you met
Lady Gwendolen, not a breath of scandal had ever touched
her. Is there a single decent woman in London
now who would drive with her in the park? Why,
even her children are not allowed to live with her.
Then there are other stories— stories
that you have been seen creeping at dawn out of dreadful
houses and slinking in disguise into the foulest dens
in London. Are they true? Can they be true?
When I first heard them, I laughed. I hear
them now, and they make me shudder. What about
your country-house and the life that is led there?
Dorian, you don’t know what is said about you.
I won’t tell you that I don’t want to preach
to you. I remember Harry saying once that every
man who turned himself into an amateur curate for
the moment always began by saying that, and then proceeded
to break his word. I do want to preach to you.
I want you to lead such a life as will make the world
respect you. I want you to have a clean name
and a fair record. I want you to get rid of the
dreadful people you associate with. Don’t
shrug your shoulders like that. Don’t be
so indifferent. You have a wonderful influence.
Let it be for good, not for evil. They say that
you corrupt every one with whom you become intimate,
and that it is quite sufficient for you to enter a
house for shame of some kind to follow after.
I don’t know whether it is so or not.
How should I know? But it is said of you.
I am told things that it seems impossible to doubt.
Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at Oxford.
He showed me a letter that his wife had written to
him when she was dying alone in her villa at Mentone.
Your name was implicated in the most terrible confession
I ever read. I told him that it was absurd—that
I knew you thoroughly and that you were incapable
of anything of the kind. Know you? I wonder
do I know you? Before I could answer that, I
should have to see your soul.”
“To see my soul!” muttered
Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and turning
almost white from fear.
“Yes,” answered Hallward
gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his voice,
“to see your soul. But only God can do
that.”
A bitter laugh of mockery broke from
the lips of the younger man. “You shall
see it yourself, to-night!” he cried, seizing
a lamp from the table. “Come: it
is your own handiwork. Why shouldn’t you
look at it? You can tell the world all about
it afterwards, if you choose. Nobody would believe
you. If they did believe you, they would like
me all the better for it. I know the age better
than you do, though you will prate about it so tediously.
Come, I tell you. You have chattered enough
about corruption. Now you shall look on it face
to face.”
There was the madness of pride in
every word he uttered. He stamped his foot upon
the ground in his boyish insolent manner. He
felt a terrible joy at the thought that some one else
was to share his secret, and that the man who had painted
the portrait that was the origin of all his shame was
to be burdened for the rest of his life with the hideous
memory of what he had done.
“Yes,” he continued, coming
closer to him and looking steadfastly into his stern
eyes, “I shall show you my soul. You shall
see the thing that you fancy only God can see.”
Hallward started back. “This
is blasphemy, Dorian!” he cried. “You
must not say things like that. They are horrible,
and they don’t mean anything.”
“You think so?” He laughed again.
“I know so. As for what
I said to you to-night, I said it for your good.
You know I have been always a stanch friend to you.”
“Don’t touch me. Finish what you
have to say.”
A twisted flash of pain shot across
the painter’s face. He paused for a moment,
and a wild feeling of pity came over him. After
all, what right had he to pry into the life of Dorian
Gray? If he had done a tithe of what was rumoured
about him, how much he must have suffered! Then
he straightened himself up, and walked over to the
fire-place, and stood there, looking at the burning
logs with their frostlike ashes and their throbbing
cores of flame.
“I am waiting, Basil,”
said the young man in a hard clear voice.
He turned round. “What
I have to say is this,” he cried. “You
must give me some answer to these horrible charges
that are made against you. If you tell me that
they are absolutely untrue from beginning to end,
I shall believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny
them! Can’t you see what I am going through?
My God! don’t tell me that you are bad, and
corrupt, and shameful.”
Dorian Gray smiled. There was
a curl of contempt in his lips. “Come upstairs,
Basil,” he said quietly. “I keep
a diary of my life from day to day, and it never leaves
the room in which it is written. I shall show
it to you if you come with me.”
“I shall come with you, Dorian,
if you wish it. I see I have missed my train.
That makes no matter. I can go to-morrow.
But don’t ask me to read anything to-night.
All I want is a plain answer to my question.”
“That shall be given to you
upstairs. I could not give it here. You
will not have to read long.”