THE DISCOVERY OF LIFE
This is the letter which Swinnerton
Loughburne received over the signature of Doctor Randall
Byrne. It was such a strange letter that between
paragraphs Swinnerton Loughburne paced up and down
his Gramercy Park studio and stared, baffled, at the
heights of the Metropolitan Tower.
“Dear Swinnerton,
“I’ll be with you in good
old Manhattan about as soon as you get this letter.
I’m sending this ahead because I want you to
do me a favour. If I have to go back to those
bare, blank rooms of mine with the smell of chemicals
drifting in from the laboratory, I’ll—get
drunk. That’s all!”
Here Swinnerton Loughburne lowered
the letter to his knees and grasped his head in both
hands. Next he turned to the end of the letter
and made sure that the signature was “Randall
Byrne.” He stared again at the handwriting.
It was not the usual script of the young doctor.
It was bolder, freer, and twice as large as usual;
there was a total lack of regard for the amount of
stationery consumed.
Shaking his head in bewilderment,
Swinnerton Loughburne shook his fine grey head and
read on: “What I want you to do, is to stir
about and find me a new apartment. Mind you,
I don’t want the loft of some infernal Arcade
building in the Sixties. Get me a place somewhere
between Thirtieth and Fifty-eighth. Two bed-rooms.
I want a place to put some of the boys when they drop
around my way. And at least one servant’s
room. Also at least one large room where I can
stir about and wave my arms without hitting the chandelier.
Are you with me?”
Here Swinnerton Loughburne seized
his head between both hands again and groaned:
“Dementia! Plain and simple dementia!
And at his age, poor boy!”
He continued: “Find an
interior decorator. Not one of these fuzzy haired
women-in-pants, but a he-man who knows what a he-man
needs. Tell him I want that place furnished regardless
of expense. I want some deep chairs that will
hit me under the knees. I want some pictures on
the wall—but nothing out of the Eighteenth
Century—no impressionistic landscapes—no
girls dolled up in fluffy stuff. I want some pictures
I can enjoy, even if my maiden aunt can’t.
There you are. Tell him to go ahead on those
lines.
“In a word, Swinnerton, old
top, I want to live. For about thirty years I’ve
thought, and now I know that there’s nothing
in it. All the thinking in the world won’t
make one more blade of grass grow; put one extra pound
on the ribs of a long-horn; and in a word, thinking
is the bunk, pure and simple!”
At this point Swinnerton Loughburne
staggered to the window, threw it open, and leaned
out into the cold night. After a time he had strength
enough to return to his chair and read through the
rest of the epistle without interruption.
“You wonder how I’ve reached
the new viewpoint? Simply by seeing some concentrated
life here at the Cumberland ranch. My theories
are blasted and knocked in the head—praise
God!—and I’ve brushed a million cobwebs
out of my brain. Chemistry? Rot! There’s
another sort of chemistry that works on the inside
of a man. That’s what I want to study.
There are three great preliminary essentials to the
study:
1st: How to box with a man.
2nd: How to talk with a girl.
3rd: How to drink old wine.
Try the three, Swinnerton; they aren’t
half bad. At first they may give you a sore jaw,
an aching heart, and a spinning head, but in the end
they teach you how to keep your feet and fight!
“This is how my eyes were opened.
“When I came out to this ranch
it was hard for me to ride a horse. So I’ve
been studying how it should be done. Among other
things, you should keep your toes turned in, you know.
And there are many other things to learn.
“When I had mastered them one
by one I went out the other day and asked to have
a horse saddled. It was done, and a lantern-jawed
cowpuncher brought out a piebald gelding with long
ears and sleepy eyes. Not a lovely beast, but
a mild one. So I went into the saddle according
to theory—with some slight hesitations
here and there, planted my feet in the stirrups, and
told the lantern-jawed fellow to turn loose the head
of the piebald. This was done. I shook the
reins. The horse did not move. I called
to the brute by name. One ear wagged back to listen
to me.
“I kicked the beast in the ribs.
Unfortunately I had forgotten that long spurs were
on my heels. The horse was instantly aware of
that fact, however. He leaped into a full gallop.
A very jolty process. Then he stopped—but
I kept on going. A fence was in the way, so I
was halted. Afterwards the lantern-jawed man
picked me up and offered to carry me back to the house
or at least get a wheelbarrow for me. I refused
with some dignity. I remarked that I preferred
walking, really, and so I started out across the hills
and away from the house. My head was sore; so
were my shoulders where I hit the fence; I began to
think of the joy of facing that horse again, armed
with a club.
“It was evening—after
supper, you see—and the light of the moon
was already brighter than the sunlight. And by
the time I had crossed the first range of hills, it
was quite dark. As I walked I brooded upon many
things. There were enough to disturb me.
“There was old Joe Cumberland,
at death’s door and beyond the reach of my knowledge;
and he had been taken away from death by the wild man,
Dan Barry. There was the girl with the bright
hair—Kate Cumberland. In education,
nothing; in brain, nothing; in experience, nothing;
and yet I was attracted. But she was not attracted
in the least until along came the wild man again,
and then she fell into his arms—actually
fought for him! Why? I could not tell.
My name and the things I have done and even my money,
meant nothing to her. But when he came it was
only a glance, a word, a smile, and she was in his
arms. I felt like Caligula. I wished the
world had only one neck, and I an axe. But why
should I have felt depressed because of failures in
the eyes of these silly yokels? Not one of them
could read the simplest chemical formula!
“All very absurd, you will agree,
and you may get some inkling as to my state of mind
while I walked over those same dark hills. I seemed
a part of that darkness. I looked up to the stars.
They were merely like the pages of a book. I
named them off hand, one after the other, and thought
of their characteristics, their distances, their composition,
and meditated on the marvels the spectrum has made
known to us. But no sooner did such a train of
thoughts start in my brain, than I again recurred
to the girl, Kate Cumberland, and all I was aware of
was a pain at heart—something like homesickness.
Very strange.
“She and the man are together
constantly. The other day I was in Joseph Cumberland’s
room and we heard whistling outside. The face
of the old man lighted, ‘They are together again,’
he said. ’How do you guess at that?’
I asked. ‘By the sound of his whistling,’
he answered. ’For he whistles as if he
expected an answer—as if he were talking
with someone.’ And by the Lord, the old
man was right. It would never have occurred to
me!
“Now as I started down the farther
slope of a hill a whistling sound ran upon me through
the wind, and looking back I saw a horseman galloping
with great swiftness along the line of the crest, very
plainly outlined by the sky, and by something of smoothness
in the running of the horse I knew that it was Barry
and his black stallion. But the whistling—the
music! Dear God, man, have you read of the pipes
of Pan? That night I heard them and it made a
riot in my heart.
“He was gone, suddenly, and
the whistling went out like a light, but something
had happened inside me—the first beginning
of this process of internal change. The ground
no longer seemed so dark. There were earth smells—very
friendly—I heard some little creature chirruping
contentedly to itself. Something hummed—a
grasshopper, perhaps. And then I looked up to
the stars. There was not a name I could think
of—I forgot them all, and for the first
time I was contented to look at them and wonder at
their beauty without an attempt at analysis or labelling.
“If I say that I went back to
the ranch-house with my feet on the ground and by
heart up there among the stars, will you understand?
“I found the girl sewing in
front of the fire in the living room. Simply
looked up to me with a smile, and a certain dimness
about the eyes—well, my breath stopped.
“‘Kate,’ said I, ‘I am going
away to-morrow morning!’
“‘And leave Dad?’ said she.
“‘To tell you the truth,’
I answered, ’there is nothing I can do for him.
There has never been anything I could do for him.’
“‘I am sorry,’ said she, and lifted
up her eyes to me.
“Now, I had begun by being stiff
with her, but the ringing of that whistling—pipes
of Pan, you know—was in my ears. I
took a chair beside her. Something overflowed
in my heart. For the first time in whole days
I could look on her beauty without pain.
“‘Do you know why I’m going?’
I asked.
“She waited.
“‘Because,’ said
I, and smiled right into her face, ’I love you,
Kate, most infernally; and I know perfectly well that
I will get never the devil a bit of good out of it.’
“She peered at me. ‘You
aren’t jesting?’ says she. ’No,
you’re serious. I’m very sorry, Doctor
Byrne.’
“‘And I,’ I answered,
’am glad. I wouldn’t change it for
the world. For once in my life—to-night—I’ve
forgotten myself. No, I won’t go away and
nurse a broken heart, but I’ll think of you as
a man should think of something bright and above him.
You’ll keep my heart warm, Kate, till I’m
a very old man. Because of you, I’ll be
able to love some other girl—and a fine
one, by the Lord!’
“Something in the nature of
an outburst, eh? But it was the music which had
done it. All the time it rang and echoed through
my ears. My words were only an echo of it.
I was in tune with the universe. I was living
for the first time. The girl dropped her sewing—tossed
it aside. She came over to me and took my hands
in a way that would have warmed even the icicles of
your heart, Swinnerton.
“‘Doctor,’ says
she, ‘I know that you are going to be very happy.’
“‘Happiness,’ said
I, ’is a trick, like riding a horse. And
I think that I’ve learned the trick. I’ve
caught it from you and from Barry.’
“At that, she let go my hands
and stepped back. The very devil is in these
women, Swinnerton. You never can place them for
a minute at a time.
“‘I am trying to learn
myself,’ she said, and there was a shadow of
wistfulness in her eyes.
“In another moment I should
have made a complete fool of myself, but I remembered
in time and got out of the room. To-morrow I start
back for the old world but I warn you beforehand,
my dear fellow, that I’m bringing something
of the new world with me.
“What has it all brought to
me? I am sad one day and gay the next. But
at least I know that thinking is not life and now I’m
ready to fight.
“Randall Byrne.”