CHAPTER I
The thing that I know least about
is my beginning. For it is possible to introduce
Ethel Rawdon in so many picturesque ways that the
choice is embarrassing, and forces me to the conclusion
that the actual circumstances, though commonplace,
may be the most suitable. Certainly the events
that shape our lives are seldom ushered in with pomp
or ceremony; they steal upon us unannounced, and
begin their work without giving any premonition of
their importance.
Consequently Ethel had no idea when
she returned home one night from a rather stupid
entertainment that she was about to open a new and
important chapter of her life. Hitherto that
life had been one of the sweetest and simplest character—the
lessons and sports of childhood and girlhood had claimed
her nineteen years; and Ethel was just at that wonderful
age when, the brook and the river having met, she
was feeling the first swell of those irresistible
tides which would carry her day by day to the haven
of all days.
It was Saturday night in the January
of 1900, verging toward twelve o’clock.
When she entered her room, she saw that one of the
windows was open, and she stood a moment or two at
it, looking across the straight miles of white lights,
in whose illumined shadows thousands of sleepers were
holding their lives in pause.
“It is not New York at all,”
she whispered, “it is some magical city that
I have seen, but have never trod. It will vanish
about six o’clock in the morning, and there
will be only common streets, full of common people.
Of course,” and here she closed the window and
leisurely removed her opera cloak, “of course,
this is only dreaming, but to dream waking, or to
dream sleeping, is very pleasant. In dreams we
can have men as we like them, and women as we want
them, and make all the world happy and beautiful.”
She was in no hurry of feeling or
movement. She had been in a crowd for some hours,
and was glad to be quite alone and talk to herself
a little. It was also so restful to gradually
relinquish all the restraining gauds of fashionable
attire, and as she leisurely performed these duties,
she entered into conversation with her own heart—talked
over with it the events of the past week, and decided
that its fretless days, full of good things, had been,
from the beginning to the end, sweet as a cup of new
milk. For a woman’s heart is very talkative,
and requires little to make it eloquent in its own
way.
In the midst of this intimate companionship
she turned her head, and saw two letters lying upon
a table. She rose and lifted them. One was
an invitation to a studio reception, and she let it
flutter indeterminately from her hand; the other was
both familiar and appealing; none of her correspondents
but Dora Denning used that peculiar shade of blue
paper, and she instantly began to wonder why Dora
had written to her.
“I saw her yesterday afternoon,”
she reflected, “and she told me everything she
had to tell—and what does she-mean by such
a tantalizing message as this? `Dearest Ethel:
I have the most extraordinary news. Come to
me immediately. Dora.’ How exactly
like Dora!” she commented. “Come
to me im-mediately—whether you are in
bed or asleep —whether you are sick or
well—whether it is midnight or high noon—come
to me immediately. Well, Dora, I am going to
sleep now, and to-morrow is Sunday, and I never know
what view father is going to take of Sunday.
He may ask me to go to church with him, and he may
not. He may want me to drive in the afternoon,
and again he may not; but Sunday is father’s
home day, and Ruth and I make a point of obliging
him in regard to it. That is one of our family
principles; and a girl ought to have a few principles
of conduct involving self-denial. Aunt Ruth says,
`Life cannot stand erect without self-denial,’
and aunt is usually right—but I do wonder
what Dora wants! I cannot imagine what extraordinary
news has come. I must try and see her to-morrow—it
may be difficult—but I must make the effort”—and
with this satisfying resolution she easily fell asleep.
When she awoke the church bells were
ringing and she knew that her father and aunt would
have breakfasted. The feet did not trouble her.
It was an accidental sleep-over; she had not planned
it, and circumstances would take care of themselves.
In any case, she had no fear of rebuke. No one
was ever cross with Ethel. It was a matter of
pretty general belief that whatever Ethel did was
just right. So she dressed herself becomingly
in a cloth suit, and, with her plumed hat on her head,
went down to see what the day had to offer her.
“The first thing is coffee,
and then, all being agreeable, Dora. I shall
not look further ahead,” she thought.
As she entered the room she called
“Good morning!” and her voice was like
the voice of the birds when they call “Spring!”;
and her face was radiant with smiles, and the touch
of her lips and the clasp of her hand warm with love
and life; and her father and aunt forgot that she
was late, and that her breakfast was yet to order.
She took up the reproach herself.
“I am so sorry, Aunt Ruth. I only want
a cup of coffee and a roll.”
“My dear, you cannot go without
a proper breakfast. Never mind the hour.
What would you like best?”
“You are so good, Ruth.
I should like a nice breakfast—a breast
of chicken and mushrooms, and some hot muffins and
marmalade would do. How comfortable you look
here! Father, you are buried in newspapers.
Is anyone going to church?”
Ruth ordered the desired breakfast
and Mr. Rawdon took out his watch—“I
am afraid you have delayed us too long this morning,
Ethel.”
“Am I to be the scapegoat?
Now, I do not believe anyone wanted to go to church.
Ruth had her book, you, the newspapers. It is
warm and pleasant here, it is cold and windy outside.
I know what confession would be made, if honesty were
the fashion.”
“Well, my little girl, honesty
is the fashion in this house. I believe in going
to church. Religion is the Mother of Duty, and
we should all make a sad mess of life without duty.
Is not that so, Ruth?”
“Truth itself, Edward; but religion
is not going to church and listening to sermons.
Those who built the old cathedrals of Europe had no
idea that sitting in comfortable pews and listening
to some man talking was worshiping God. Those
great naves were intended for men and women to stand
or kneel in before God. And there were no high
or low standing or kneeling places; all were on a
level before Him. It is our modern Protestantism
which has brought in lazy lolling in cushioned pews;
and the gallery, which makes a church as like a playhouse
as possible!”
“What are you aiming at, Ruth?”
“I only meant to say, I would
like going to church much better if we went solely
to praise God, and entreat His mercy. I do not
care to hear sermons.”
“My dear Ruth, sermons are a
large fact in our social economy. When a million
or two are preached every year, they have a strong
claim on our attention. To use a trade phrase,
sermons are firm, and I believe a moderate tax on
them would yield an astonishing income.”
“See how you talk of them, Edward;
as if they were a commercial commodity. If you
respected them——”
“I do. I grant them a steady
pneumatic pressure in the region of morals, and even
faith. Picture to yourself, Ruth, New York without
sermons. The dear old city would be like a ship
without ballast, heeling over with every wind, and
letting in the waters of immorality and scepticism.
Remove this pulpit balance just for one week from
New York City, and where should we be?”
“Well then,” said Ethel,
“the clergy ought to give New York a first-rate
article in sermons, either of home or foreign manufacture.
New York expects the very best of everything; and
when she gets it, she opens her heart and her pocketbook
enjoys it, and pays for it.”
“That is the truth, Ethel.
I was thinking of your grandmother Rawdon. You
have your hat on—are you going to see her?”
“I am going to see Dora Denning.
I had an urgent note from her last night. She
says she has `extraordinary news’ and begs me
to `come to her immediately.’ I cannot
imagine what her news is. I saw her Friday afternoon.”
“She has a new poodle, or a
new lover, or a new way of crimping her hair,”
suggested Ruth Bayard scornfully.” She
imposes on you, Ethel; why do you submit to her selfishness?”
“I suppose because I have become
used to it. Four years ago I began to take her
part, when the girls teased and tormented her in the
schoolroom, and I have big-sistered her ever since.
I suppose we get to love those who make us kind and
give us trouble. Dora is not perfect, but I like
her better than any friend I have. And she must
like me, for she asks my advice about everything in
her life.”
“Does she take it?”
“Yes—generally.
Sometimes I have to make her take it.”
“She has a mother. Why
does she not go to her?”
“Mrs. Denning knows nothing
about certain subjects. I am Dora’s social
godmother, and she must dress and behave as I tell
her to do. Poor Mrs. Denning! I am so sorry
for her—another cup of coffee, Ruth—it
is not very strong.”
“Why should you be sorry for
Mrs. Denning, Her husband is enormously rich—she
lives in a palace, and has a crowd of men and women
servants to wait upon her—carriages, horses,
motor cars, what not, at her command.”
“Yet really, Ruth, she is a
most unhappy woman. In that little Western town
from which they came, she was everybody. She
ran the churches, and was chairwoman in all the clubs,
and President of the Temperance Union, and manager
of every religious, social, and political festival;
and her days were full to the brim of just the things
she liked to do. Her dress there was considered
magnificent; people begged her for patterns, and regarded
her as the very glass of fashion. Servants thought
it a great privilege to be employed on the Denning
place, and she ordered her house and managed her half-score
of men and maids with pleasant autocracy. Now!
Well, I will tell you how it is, now. She
sits all day in her splendid rooms, or rides out in
her car or carriage, and no one knows her, and of
course no one speaks to her. Mr. Denning has
his Wall Street friends——”
“And enemies,” interrupted
Judge Rawdon.
“And enemies! You are right,
father. But he enjoys one as much as the other—that
is, he would as willingly fight his enemies as feast
his friends. He says a big day in Wall Street
makes him alive from head to foot. He really
looks happy. Bryce Denning has got into two clubs,
and his money passes him, for he plays, and is willing
to love prudently. But no one cares about Mrs.
Denning. She is quite old—forty-five,
I dare say; and she is stout, and does not wear the
colors and style she ought to wear—none
of her things have the right `look,’ and of
course I cannot advise a matron. Then, her fine
English servants take her house out of her hands.
She is afraid of them. The butler suavely tries
to inform her; the housekeeper removed the white
crotcheted scarfs and things from the gilded chairs,
and I am sure Mrs. Denning had a heartache about their
loss; but she saw that they had also vanished from
Dora’s parlor, so she took the hint, and accepted
the lesson. Really, her humility and isolation
are pitiful. I am going to ask grandmother to
go and see her. Grandmother might take her to
church, and get Dr. Simpson and Mrs. Simpson to introduce
her. Her money and adaptability would do the
rest. There, I have had a good breakfast, though
I was late. It is not always the early bird that
gets chicken and mushrooms. Now I will go and
see what Dora wants”—and lifting
her furs with a smile, and a “Good morning!”
equally charming, she disappeared.
“Did you notice her voice, Ruth?”
asked Judge Rawdon. What a tone there is in her
`good morning!’”
“There is a tone in every one’s
good morning, Edward. I think people’s
salutations set to music would reveal their inmost
character. Ethel’s good morning says in
D major `How good is the day!’ and her good
night drops into the minor third, and says pensively
`How sweet is the night!’”
“Nay, Ruth, I don’t understand
all that; but I do understand the voice. It goes
straight to my heart.”
“And to my heart also, Edward.
I think too there is a measured music, a central time
and tune, in every life. Quick, melodious natures
like Ethel’s never wander far from their keynote,
and are therefore joyously set; while slow, irresolute
people deviate far, and only come back after painful
dissonances and frequent changes.”
“You are generally right, Ruth,
even where I cannot follow you. I hope Ethel
will be home for dinner. I like my Sunday dinner
with both of you, and I may bring my mother back with
me.”
Then he said “Good morning”
with an intentional cheerfulness, and Ruth was left
alone with her book. She gave a moment’s
thought to the value of good example, and then with
a sigh of content let her eyes rest on the words Ethel’s
presence had for awhile silenced:
“I am filled with a sense of
sweetness and wonder that such, little things can
make a mortal so exceedingly rich. But I confess
that the chiefest of all my delights is still the
religious.” (Theodore Parker.) She read the
words again, then closed her eyes and let the honey
of some sacred memory satisfy her soul. And in
those few minutes of reverie, Ruth Bayard revealed
the keynote of her being. Wanderings from it,
caused by the exigencies and duties of life, frequently
occurred; but she quickly returned to its central
and controlling harmony; and her serenity and poise
were therefore as natural as was her niece’s
joyousness and hope. Nor was her religious character
the result of temperament, or of a secluded life.
Ruth Bayard was a woman of thought and culture, and
wise in the ways of the world, but not worldly.
Her personality was very attractive, she had a good
form, an agreeable face, speaking gray eyes, and brown
hair, soft and naturally wavy. She was a distant
cousin of Ethel’s mother, but had been brought
up with her in the same household, and always regarded
her as a sister, and Ethel never remembered that she
was only her aunt by adoption. Ten years older
than her niece, she had mothered her with a wise and
loving patience, and her thoughts never wandered long
or far from the girl. Consequently, she soon
found herself wondering what reason there could be
for Dora Denning’s urgency.
In the meantime Ethel had reached
her friend’s residence a new building of unusual
size and very ornate architecture. Liveried footmen
and waiting women bowed her with mute attention to
Miss Denning’s suite, an absolutely private
arrangement of five rooms, marvelously furnished for
the young lady’s comfort and delight. The
windows of her parlor overlooked the park, and she
was standing at one of them as Ethel entered the
room. In a passion of welcoming gladness she
turned to her, exclaiming: “I have been
watching for you hours and hours, Ethel. I have
the most wonderful thing to tell you. I am so
happy! So happy! No one was ever as happy
as I am.”
Then Ethel took both her hands, and,
as they stood together, she looked intently at her
friend. Some new charm transfigured her face;
for her dark, gazelle eyes were not more lambent than
her cheeks, though in a different way; while her black
hair in its picturesquely arranged disorder seemed
instinct with life, and hardly to be restrained.
She was constantly pushing it back, caressing or
arranging it; and her white, slender fingers, sparkling
with jewels, moved among the crimped and wavy locks,
as if there was an intelligent sympathy between them.
“How beautiful you are to-day,
Dora! Who has worked wonders on you?”
“Basil Stanhope. He loves
me! He loves me! He told me so last night—in
the sweetest words that were ever uttered. I
shall never forget one of them—never, as
long as I live! Let us sit down. I want
to tell you everything.”
“I am astonished, Dora!”
“So was mother, and father,
and Bryce. No one suspected our affection.
Mother used to grumble about my going `at all hours’
to St. Jude’s church; but that was because St.
Jude’s is so very High Church, and mother is
a Methodist Episcopal. It was the morning and
evening prayers she objected to. No one had any
suspicion of the clergyman. Oh, Ethel, he is
so handsome! So good! So clever! I
think every woman in the church is in love with him.”
“Then if he is a good man, he
must be very unhappy.”
“Of course he is quite ignorant
of their admiration, and therefore quite innocent.
I am the only woman he loves, and he never even remembers
me when he is in the sacred office. If you could
see him come out of the vestry in his white surplice,
with his rapt face and prophetic eyes. So mystical!
So beautiful! You would not wonder that I worship
him.”
“But I do not understand—how
did you meet him socially?”
“I met him at Mrs. Taylor’s
first. Then he spoke to me one morning as I came
out of church, and the next morning he walked through
the park with me. And after that—
all was easy enough.”
“I see. What does your
father and mother think—or rather, what
do they say?”
“Father always says what he
thinks, and mother thinks and says what I do.
This condition simplified matters very much.
Basil wrote to father, and yesterday after dinner
he had an interview with him. I expected it,
and was quite prepared for any climax that might
come. I wore my loveliest white frock, and had
lilies of the valley in my hair and on my breast;
and father called me `his little angel’ and
piously wondered `how I could be his daughter.’
All dinner time I tried to be angelic, and after dinner
I sang `Little Boy Blue’ and some of the songs
he loves; and I felt, when Basil’s card came
in, that I had prepared the proper atmosphere for
the interview.”
“You are really very clever, Dora.”
“I tried to continue singing
and playing, but I could not; the notes all ran together,
the words were lost. I went to mother’s
side and put my hand in hers, and she said softly:
`I can hear your father storming a little, but he
will settle down the quicker for it. I dare say
he will bring Mr. Stanhope in here before long.”
“Did he?”
“No. That was Bryce’s
fault. How Bryce happened to be in the house
at that hour, I cannot imagine; but it seems to be
natural for him to drop into any interview where he
can make trouble. However, it turned out all
for the best, for when mother heard Bryce’s
voice above all the other sounds, she said, `Come
Dora, we shall have to interfere now.’ Then
I was delighted. I was angelically dressed, and
I felt equal to the interview.”
“Do you really mean that you
joined the three quarreling men?”
“Of course. Mother was
quite calm—calm enough to freeze a tempest—but
she gave father a look he comprehended. Then
she shook hands with Basil, and would have made some
remark to Bryce, but with his usual impertinence he
took the initiative, and told he: very authoritatively
to `retire and take me with her’—calling
me that `demure little flirt’ in a tone that
was very offensive. You should have seen father
blaze into anger at his words. He told Bryce
to remember that `Mr. Ben Denning owned the house,
and that Bryce had four or five rooms in it by his
courtesy.’ He said also that the `ladies
present were Mr. Ben Denning’s wife and daughter,
and that it was impertinent in him to order them
out of his parlor, where they were always welcome.’
Bryce was white with passion, but he answered in his
affected way—`Sir, that sly girl with her
pretended piety and her sneak of a lover is my sister,
and I shall not permit her to disgrace my family without
making a protest.’”
“And then?”
“I began to cry, and I put my
arms around father’s neck and said he must defend
me; that I was not `sly,’ and Basil was not
`a sneak,’ and father kissed me, and said he
would settle with any man, and every man, who presumed
to call me either sly or a flirt.”
“I think Mr. Denning acted beautifully.
What did Bryce say?”
“He turned to Basil, and said:
`Mr. Stanhope, if you are not a cad, you will leave
the house. You have no right to intrude yourself
into family affairs and family quarrels.’
Basil had seated mother, and was standing with one
hand on the back of her chair, and he did not answer
Bryce—there was no need, father answered
quick enough. He said Mr. Stanhope had asked
to become one of the family, and for his part he would
welcome him freely; and then he asked mother if she
was of his mind, and mother smiled and reached her
hand backward to Basil. Then father kissed me
again, and somehow Basil’s arm was round me,
and I know I looked lovely— almost like
a bride! Oh, Ethel, it was just heavenly!”
“I am sure it was. Did
Bryce leave the room then?”
“Yes; he went out in a passion,
declaring he would never notice me again. This
morning at breakfast I said I was sorry Bryce felt
so hurt, but father was sure Bryce would find plenty
of consolation in the fact that his disapproval of
my choice would excuse him from giving me a wedding
present. You know Bryce is a mean little miser!”
“On the contrary, I thought
he was very; luxurious and extravagant.”
“Where Bryce is concerned, yes;
toward everyone else his conduct is too mean to consider.
Why, father makes him an allowance of $20,000 a year
and he empties father’s cigar boxes whenever
he can do so without——”
“Let us talk about Mr. Stanhope
he is far more interesting. When are you going
to marry him?”
“In the Spring. Father
is going to give me some money and I have the fortune
Grandmother Cahill left me. It has been well
invested, and father told me this morning I was a
fairly rich little woman. Basil has some private
fortune, also his stipend—we shall do very
well. Basil’s family is one of the finest
among the old Boston aristocrats, and he is closely
connected with the English Stanhopes, who rank with
the greatest of the nobility.”
“I wish Americans would learn
to rely on their own nobility. I am tired of
their everlasting attempts to graft on some English
noble family. No matter how great or clever a
man may be, you are sure to read of his descent from
some Scottish chief or English earl.”
“They can’t help their descent, Ethel.”
“They need not pin all they
have done on to it. Often father frets me in
the same way. If he wins a difficult case, he
does it naturally, because he is a Rawdon. He
is handsome, gentlemanly, honorable, even a perfect
horseman, all because, being a Rawdon, he was by
nature and inheritance compelled to such perfection.
It is very provoking, Dora, and if I were you I would
not allow Basil to begin a song about `the English
Stanhopes.’ Aunt Ruth and I get very tired
often of the English Rawdons, and are really thankful
for the separating Atlantic.”
“I don’t think I shall
feel in that way, Ethel. I like the nobility;
so does father, he says the Dennings are a fine old
family.”
“Why talk of genealogies when
there is such a man as Basil Stanhope to consider?
Let us grant him perfection and agree that he is to
marry you in the Spring; well then, there is the ceremony,
and the wedding garments! Of course it is to
be a church wedding?”
“We shall be married in Basil’s
own church. I can hardly eat or sleep for thinking
of the joy and the triumph of it! There will
be women there ready to eat their hearts with envy—I
believe indeed, Ethel, that every woman in the church
is in love with Basil.”
“You have said that before,
and I am sure you are wrong. A great many of
them are married and are in love with their own husbands;
and the kind of girls who go to St. Jude’s are
not the kind who marry clergymen. Mr. Stanhope’s
whole income would hardly buy their gloves and parasols.”
“I don’t think you are
pleased that I am going to marry. You must not
be jealous of Basil. I shall love you just the
same.”
“Under no conditions, Dora,
would I allow jealousy to trouble my life. All
the same, you will not love me after your marriage
as you have loved me in the past. I shall not
expect it.”
Passionate denials of this assertion,
reminiscences of the past, assurances for the future
followed, and Ethel accepted them without dispute
and without faith. But she understood that the
mere circumstance of her engagement was all that Dora
could manage at present; and that the details of the
marriage merged themselves constantly in the wonderful
fact that Basil Stanhope loved her, and that some
time, not far off, she was going to be his wife.
This joyful certainty filled her heart and her comprehension,
and she had a natural reluctance to subject it to
the details of the social and religious ceremonies
necessary, Such things permitted others to participate
in her joy, and she resented the idea. For a
time she wished to keep her lover in a world where
no other thought might trouble the thought of Dora.
Ethel understood her friend’s
mood, and was rather relieved when her carriage arrived.
She felt that her presence was preventing Dora’s
absolute surrender of herself to thoughts of her lover,
and all the way home she marveled at the girl’s
infatuation, and wondered if it would be possible
for her to fall into such a dotage of love for any
man. She answered this query positively—
“No, if I should lose my heart, I shall not
therefore lose my head”—and then,
before she could finish assuring herself of her determinate
wisdom, some mocking lines she had often quoted to
love-sick girls went laughing through her memory—
“O Woman! Woman! O our
frail, frail sex!
No wonder tragedies are made from us!
Always the same—nothing but
loves and cradles.”
She found Ruth Bayard dressed for
dinner, but her father was not present. That
was satisfactory, for he was always a little impatient
when the talk was of lovers and weddings; and just
then this topic was uppermost in Ethel’s mind.
“Ruth,” she said, “Dora
is engaged,” and then in a few sentences she
told the little romance Dora had lived for the past
year, and its happy culmination. “Setting
money aside, I think he will make a very suitable
husband. What do you think, Ruth?”
“From what I know of Mr. Stanhope,
I should doubt it. I am sure he will put his
duties before every earthly thing, and I am sure Dora
will object to that. Then I wonder if Dora is
made on a pattern large enough to be the moneyed partner
in matrimony. I should think Mr. Stanhope was
a proud man.”
“Dora says he is connected with
the English noble family of Stanhopes.”
“We shall certainly have all
the connections of the English nobility in America
very soon now—but why does he marry Dora?
Is it her money?”
“I think not. I have heard
from various sources some fine things of Basil Stanhope.
There are many richer girls than Dora in St. Jude’s.
I dare say some one of them would have married him.”
“You are mistaken. Do you
think Margery Starey, Jane Lewes, or any of the girls
of their order would marry a man with a few thousands
a year? And to marry for love is beyond the frontiers
of such women’s intelligence. In their
creed a husband is a banker, not a man to be loved
and cared for. You know how much of a banker
Mr. Stanhope could be.”
“Bryce Denning is very angry
at what he evidently considers his sister’s
mesalliance.”
“If Mr. Stanhope is connected
with the English Stanhopes, the mesalliance must be
laid to his charge.”
“Indeed the Dennings have some
pretenses to good lineage, and Bryce spoke of his
sister `disgracing his family by her contemplated
marriage.’”
“His family! My dear Ethel,
his grandfather was a manufacturer of tin tacks.
And now that we have got as far away as the Denning’s
grandfather, suppose we drop the subject.”
“Content; I am a little tired
of the clan Denning—that is their original
name Dora says. I will go now and dress for dinner.”
Then Ruth rose and looked inquisitively
around the room. It was as she wished it to be—the
very expression of elegant comfort —warm
and light, and holding the scent of roses: a
place of deep, large chairs with no odds and ends
to worry about, a room to lounge and chat in, and
where the last touch of perfect home freedom was given
by a big mastiff who, having heard the door-bell ring,
strolled in to see who had called.