LIFE TIED IN A KNOT
One morning soon after the New Year,
Hyde was returning to the Manor House from New York.
It was a day to oppress thought, and tighten the heart,
and kill all hope and energy. There was a monotonous
rain and a sky like that of a past age—solemn
and leaden—and the mud of the roads was
unspeakable. He was compelled to ride slowly and
to feel in its full force, as it were, the hostility
of Nature. As he reached his home the rain ceased,
and a thick mist, with noiseless entrance, pervaded
all the environment; but no life, or sound of life,
broke the melancholy sense of his utter desolation.
He took the road by the lake because
it was the nearest road to the stables, where he wished
to alight; but the sight of the livid water, and of
the herons standing motionless under the huge cedars
by its frozen edges, brought to speech and expression
that stifled grief, which Nature this morning had
intensified, not relieved.
“Those unearthly birds!”
he said petulantly, “they look as if they had
escaped the deluge by some mistake. Oh if I could
forget! If I could only forget! And now
she has gone! She has gone! I shall never
see her again! “Grief feels it a kind of
luxury to repeat some supreme cry of misery, and this
lamentation for his lost love had this poignant satisfaction.
He felt New York to be empty and void and dreary, and
the Manor House with its physical cheer and comfort,
and its store of affection, could not lift the stone
from his heart.
In spite of the chilling mist the
Earl had gone to see a neighbour about some land and
local affairs, and his mother—oblivious
of the coronet of a countess—was helping
her housekeeper to make out the list of all household
property at the beginning of the year 1792. She
seemed a little annoyed at his intrusion, and recommended
to him a change of apparel. Then he smiled at
his forlorn, draggled condition, and went to his room.
Now it is a fact that in extreme dejection
something good to eat, and something nice to wear,
will often restore the inner man to his normal complacency;
and when Hyde’s valet had seen to his master’s
refreshment in every possible way, Hyde was at least
reconciled to the idea of living a little longer.
The mud-stained garments had disappeared, and as he
walked up and down the luxurious room, brightened by
the blazing oak logs, he caught reflections of his
handsome person in the mirror, and he began to be
comforted. For it is not in normal youth to disdain
the smaller joys of life; and Hyde was thinking as
his servant dressed him in satin and velvet, that
at least there was Annie. Annie was always glad
to see him, and he had a great respect for Annie’s
opinions. Indeed during the past few weeks they
had been brought into daily companionship, they had
become very good friends. So then the absence
of the Earl and the preoccupation of his mother was
not beyond comfort, if Annie was able to receive him.
In spite of his grief for Cornelia’s removal
from New York, he was not insensible to the pleasure
of Annie’s approval. He liked to show himself
to her when he knew he could appear to advantage;
and there was nothing more in this desire, than that
healthy wish for approbation that is natural to self-respecting
youth.
He heard her singing as he approached
the drawing-room, and he opened the door noiselessly
and went in. If she was conscious of his entrance
she made no sign of it, and Hyde did not seem to expect
it. He glanced at her as he might have glanced
at a priest by the altar, and went softly to the fireside
and sat down. At this moment she had a solemn,
saintly beauty; her small pale face was luminous with
spiritual joy, her eyes glowing with rapture, and
her hands moving among the ivory keys of the piano
made enchanting melody to her inspired longing
Jerusalem the golden,
With milk and honey blest,
Beneath thy contemplation
Sink heart and voice oppressed.
O one, O only mansion,
O paradise of joy!
Where tears are ever banished
And smiles have no alloy.
O sweet and blessed country!
Shall I ever see thy face?
O sweet and blessed country!
Shall I ever win thy grace?
and as these eager impassioned words
rose heavenward, it seemed to Hyde that her innocent,
longing soul was half-way out of her frail little
body. He did not in any way disturb her.
She ceased when the hymn was finished and sat still
a few moments, realizing, as far as she could, the
glory which doth not yet appear. As her eyes dropped,
the light faded from her face; she smiled at Hyde,
a smile that seemed to light all the space between
them. Then he stood up and she came towards him.
No wonder that strangers spoke of her as a child; she
had the size and face and figure of a child, and her
look of extreme youth was much accentuated by the
simple black gown she wore, and by her carriage, for
she leaned slightly forward as she walked, her feet
appearing to take no hold upon the floor; a movement
springing interiorly from the soul eagerness
which dominated her. Hyde placed her in a chair
before the fire, and then drew his own chair to her
side.
“Cousin,” she said, “I
am most glad to see you. Everybody has some work
to do to-day.”
“And you, Annie?”
“In this world I have no work
to do,” she answered. “My soul is
here for a purchase; when I have made it I shall go
home again.” And Hyde looked at her with
such curious interest that she added—“I
am buying Patience.”
“O indeed, that is a commodity not in the market.”
“I assure you it is. I
buy it daily. Once I used to wonder what for I
had come to earth. I had no strength, no beauty,
nothing at all to buy Earth’s good things with.
Three years ago I found out that I had come to buy
for my soul, the grace of Patience. Do you remember
what an imperious, restless, hard-to-please, hard-to-serve
girl I was? Now it is different. If people
do not come on the instant I call them, I rock my
soul to rest, and say to it ‘anon, anon, be quiet,
soul.’ If I suffer much pain—and
that is very often—I say Soul, it is His
Will, you must not cry out against it. If I do
not get my own way, I say, Soul, His Way is best;
and thus, day by day, I am buying Patience.”
“But it is not possible this
can content you. You must have some other hope
and desire, Annie?”
“Perhaps I once had—and
to-day is a good time to speak of it to you, because
now it troubles me no longer. You know what my
father desired, and what your father promised, for
us both?”
“Yes. Did you desire it, Annie?”
“I do not desire it now. You were ever
against it?”
“Oh Annie!—”
“It makes no matter, George. I shall never
marry you.”
“Do you dislike me so much?”
“I am very fond of you.
You are of my race and my kindred, and I love every
soul of the Hydes that has ever tarried on this earth.”
“Well then?”
“I shall marry no one.
I will show you the better way. Few can walk in
it, but Doctor Roslyn says, he thinks it may be my
part—my happy part— to do so:”
and as she spoke she took from the little pocket at
her side a small copy of the gospels, and it opened
of its own account at the twentieth chapter of St.
Luke. “See!” she said, “and
read it for yourself, George—”
“The children of this world
marry and are given in marriage. But they which
shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and
the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor
are given in marriage.
“Neither can they die any more;
for they are equal unto the angels, and are the children
of God, being the children of the resurrection.”
“To die no more! To be
like unto the angels! To be the children of God!
This is the end and aim of my desires, to be among
’the children of God!’”
“Dear Annie, I cannot understand this.”
“Not yet. It is not your
time. My soul, I think, is ages older than yours.
It takes ages of schooling to get into that class that
may leave Earth forever, and be as the angels.
Even now I know, I am sure that you are fretting and
miserable for the love of some woman. For whose
love, George? Tell me.”
Then Hyde plunged with headlong precipitancy
into the story of his love for Cornelia, and of the
inexplicably cruel way in which it had been brought
to a close. “And yesterday,” he continued
with a sob in his voice—“yesterday
I heard that her father had taken her to Philadelphia.
I shall see her no more. He will marry her to
Rem Van Arenas, or to one of her Quaker cousins, and
the taste is taken out of my life, and I am only a
walking misery.”
“I do not believe it is Cornelia’s fault.”
“Here is her letter. Read
it.” Then Annie look the letter and after
reading it said, “If she be all you say, I will
vow she wrote this in her sleep. I should like
to see her. Why do you think wrong of her?
What is love without faith in the one you love?
Do you know first and finally what true love is?
It is thinking kindly and nobly. For if we
give all we have, and do all we can do,
and yet think unkindly, it profits us nothing.
Doctor Roslyn told me so. You remember him?”
“Your teacher?”
“My teacher, my friend, my father
after the spirit. He told me that our thoughts
moulded our fate, because thought and life are one.
So then, if you really love Cornelia, you must think
good of her, and then good will come.”
“If thought and life are one,
Annie, if doing good, and giving good, are nothing
to thinking good, and we are to be judged by our quality
of thinking, there will be a greater score against
all of us, than we can imagine. I, for one, should
not like to be brought face to face with what I think,
and have thought about people; it would be an accounting
beyond my power to settle.”
“There is no accounting.
If all the priests in Christendom tell you so, believe
them not. Do you think God keeps a score against
you? Do you think the future is some torture
chamber, or condemned cell? Oh, how you wrong
God!”
“But we are taught, Annie, that
the future must correct the past.”
“True, but the future, like
the present, is a school—only a school.
And the Great Master is so compassionate, so ready
to help, so ready to enlighten, so sure to make out
of our foolishness some wise thing. If we learn
the lesson we came here to learn, He will say to us
’Well done’— and then we shall
go higher.”
“If we do not learn it?”
“Ah then, we are turned back
to try it over again! I should not like to be
turned back—would you ?”
“But He will punish us for failure.”
“Our earthly fathers are often
impatient with us; His compassions fail not.
Oh this good God!” she cried in an ecstasy—“Oh
that I knew where I might find Him! Oh that I
could come into His presence!” and her eyes
dilated, and were full of an incomparable joy, as if
they were gazing upon some glorious vision, and glad
with the gladness of the angels.
Hyde looked at her with an intense
interest. He wondered if this angelic little
creature had ever known the frailties and temptations
of mortal life, and she answered his thought as if
he had spoken it aloud.
“Yes, cousin, I have known all
temptations, and come through all tribulations.
My soul has wandered and lost its way, and been brought
back many and many a time, and bought every grace with
much suffering. But God is always present to
help, while quest followed quest, and lesson followed
lesson, and goal succeeded goal; ever leaving some
evil behind, and carrying forward some of those gains
which are eternal.”
“If Adam had not fallen!”
sighed George, “things might have been so different.”
“But the angels fell before
Adam,” she answered. “I wonder if
Adam knew about the fallen angels? Did he know
about death before he saw Abel dead? He was all
day in the garden of Eden after eating of the fruit
of sin and death, and yet he did not put out his hand
to take of the Tree of Life. Did he know that
he was already immortal? Was he—and
are we— fallen angels, working our way
back to our first estate through many trials and much
suffering? Doctor Roslyn talked to me of these
things till I thought I felt wings stirring within
me. Wings! Wings! Wings to fly away
and be at rest. Wings! they have been the dream
of every race and every age. Are they a memory
of our past greatness, for they haunt us, and draw
us on and on, and higher and higher?—but
why do you look so troubled and reluctant?”
Before Hyde could answer, the Earl
came into the room and the young man was glad to see
his father. A conversation so unusual, so suggestive
and cleaving made him unhappy. It took him up
the high places that indeed gave him a startling outlook
of life, but he was not comfortable at such altitude.
He rose with something of this strange air about him,
and the Earl understood what the trend of the conversation
had been. For Annie had talked much to him on
such subjects, and he had been sensibly moved and
impressed by the wisdom which the little maid had learned
from her venerable teacher. He lifted her head
in passing, and kissed her brow with that reverent
affection we feel for those who bring out what is
noblest and best in our character, and who lead us
higher than our daily walk.
“My dear George,” he said,
“I am delighted to see you. I was afraid
you would stay in the city this dreadful weather.
Is there any news?”
“A great deal, sir. I have
brought you English and French papers.”
“I will read them at my leisure.
Give me the English news first. What is it in
substance?”
“The conquest of Mysore and
Madras. Seringapatam has fallen; and Tippoo has
ceded to England one half his dominions and three millions
of pounds. The French have not now a foothold
left in India, and ’Citizen Tippoo’ can
no longer help the agents of the French Republic.
Faith, sir! Cornwallis has given England in the
east, a compensation for what she lost in the west.”
“To make nations of free men,
is the destiny of our race,” replied the Earl.
“Perhaps so; for it seems the
new colony planted at Sydney Cove, Australia, is doing
wonderfully; and that would mean an English empire
in the south.”
“Yet, I have just read a proclamation
of the French Assembly, calling on the people of France
’to ANNIHILATE at once, the white,
clay-footed colossus of English power and diplomacy.’
Anything else?”
“Mr. Fox and Mr. Burke are quarrelling
as usual, and Mr. Pitt is making the excesses of France
the excuse for keeping back reform in England.
It is the old story. I did not care to read it.
The French papers tell their side of it. They
call Burke a madman, and Pitt a monster, and the Moniteur
accuses them of having misrepresented the great French
nation, and says, ’they will soon be laid prostrate
before the statue of Liberty, from which they shall
only rise to mount the scaffold, etc., etc.’”
“What bombastic nonsense!”
“Minister Morris is in the midst
of horrors unmentionable. The other foreign ministers
have left France, and the French government is deserted
by all the world; yet Mr. Morris remains at his post,
though he was lately arrested in the street, and his
house searched by armed men.”
“But this is an insult to the
American nation! Why does he endure it? He
ought to return home.”
“Because he will not abandon
his duty in the hour of peril and difficulty.
Neither has the President given him permission to do
so. How could he desert American citizens unlawfully
imprisoned, American vessels unlawfully seized by
French privateers, and American captains detained
in French ports on all kinds of pretences. I think
Minister Morris is precisely where he should be, saving
the lives of American citizens; many of whom are trembling
to-day in the shadow of the guillotine.”
“It is to be hoped that Jefferson
is now convinced of the execrable nature of these
brutal revolutionists.”
“I can assure you, sir, he is
not. He still excuses all their abominations
and says Minister Morris is a high-flying monarchy
man, and not to be taken without great allowance.
I hear that Madame Kippon’s daughter, whom Mr.
Morris rescued at the last hour, has arrived in New
York; and yesterday I met Mr. Van Ariens, who is exceedingly
anxious concerning his daughter, the Marquise de Tounnerre.”
“Is she in danger? I thought her husband
was a leader in the new National Assembly.”
“He is among the Girondists.
They are giving themselves airs and making fine speeches
at present—but—”
“But what?”
“Their day will be short.”
“What of the king?”
“The royal family are all prisoners
in the Temple Tower. I do not dare to read the
particulars; but not a single protest against their
barbarity is made. Frenchmen who silently saw
the Abbaye, the Force, and the Carmes turned into
human shambles three months ago, now hold their peace
while murders no less horrible are being slowly done
in the Temple.”
“They are inconceivable monsters. Poor
little Arenta! What will she do?”
“I am not very uneasy for her;
she has wit enough to save her life if put to such
extremes; her father is much to be pitied; and it is
incredible, though true, that the great majority of
our people are still singing the Marseillaise,
though every letter of it is washed in blood and tears.”
“I am troubled about that pretty little Marquise.”
“She is clever and full of resource.
I have had only one letter from her since her marriage,
and it was written to the word ‘glories!’
She seemed to be living in a blaze of triumph and
very happy. But change is the order of the day
in France.”
“Say of the hour, and you are nearer the truth.”
“If Arenta is in trouble she
will cry out, and call for help on every hand.
I never knew her to make a mistake where her own interests
were concerned. I told her father yesterday that
it would be very difficult to corner Arenta, and comforted
him beyond my hope.”
During this conversation Annie was
in a reverie which it in no way touched. She
had the faculty of shutting her ears to sounds she
did not wish to take into her consciousness, and the
French Revolution did not exist for her. She
was thinking all the time of her Cousin George, and
of the singular abruptness with which his love life
had been cut short; and it was this train of thought
which led her—when the murmur of voices
ceased for a moment—to say impulsively:
“Uncle, it is my desire to go
to Philadelphia,” The Earl looked at her with
incredulity. “What nonsense, Annie!”
he exclaimed. “The thing is impossible.”
“Why impossible?”
“For you, I mean. You would
be very ill before the journey was half-finished.
The roads, as George will tell you, are nearly impassable;
and the weather after this fog may be intensely cold.
For you a journey to Philadelphia would be an arduous
undertaking, and one without any reasonable motive.”
“Oh, indeed! Do you call
George Washington an unreasonable motive? I wish
to see him. Imagine me within one hundred miles
of this supreme hero, and turning back to England
without kissing his hand. I should be laughed
at—I should deserve to be laughed at.”
“Yes, if the journey were an easier one.”
“To be sure, the roads and the
cold will be trials; but then my uncle, you can give
them to me, as God gives trials to His Beloved.
He breaks them up into small portions, and puts a
night’s sleep between the portions. Can
you not also do this?”
“You little Methodist!”
answered the Earl, with a tender gleam in his eyes.
“I see that I shall have to give you your own
way. Will you go with us, George?”
“It will be a relief. New
York is in the dumps. Little Burr having beaten
the Schuyler faction, thinks himself omnipotent; and
this quarrel between Mr. Jay and Governor Clinton
keeps every one else on the edge of ill-humour.
All the dancing part of the town are gone to Philadelphia;
I have scarcely a partner left; and there is no conversation
now in New York that is not political. Burr,
Schuyler, Jay, Clinton! even the clergy have gone
horse and foot into these disputes.”
“Burr has a kind of cleverness; one must admit
that.”
“He is under the curse of knowing everything.”
“Nevertheless his opinions will
not alter the axis of the earth. It is however
a dangerous thing to live in a community where politics
are the staple of talk, quarrels spring full armed
from a word in such an atmosphere.”
“I have accommodated my politics,
sir, to my own satisfaction; and I make shift to answer
people according to their idols. I vow, I am so
weary of the words ‘honour and honesty’
that they beat a tattoo on my brain.”
“When you are as old as I am,
George, you will understand that these words are the
coin, with which men buy office. The corruption
of courtiers is a general article of faith, but the
impudence of patriots going to market with their honesty,
beats courtly corruption to nothing. However,
let us go to Philadelphia and see the play. That
is what Annie desires.”
“I desire to see Washington.
I wish to see the greatest of Americans.”
“Let me tell you, Annie,”
said the Earl, “that there never was a man in
America less American in character and habits, than
Washington.”
“For all that,” interrupted
George, “there will never come a man after him,
that will be able to rob Washington of the first place
in the hearts of the American nation.”
“Nor at this day can we judge
him as he deserves,” added the Earl;” for
he is cramped and hustled by the crowd of nobodies
around him.”
“I shall look at him, and I
shall know him,” said Annie. “George
tells me that he is good and handsome to look at.”
“On horseback,” continued
the Earl, “there is none like him; he is the
ideally perfect cavalier—graceful, dignified,
commanding. Indeed so superb a man comes not
twice in a generation. At Monmouth, where I commanded
a division, I remember him flying along the lines,
cheering the men and restoring by his tremendous enthusiasm
the fortunes of the fight to our standard. The
grandest of men! You are right, Annie, it would
be a stupidity to go back to England without seeing
him.”
This was the initial conversation
which after some opposition, and a little temper from
madame the Countess, resulted in the Hyde family visiting
Philadelphia. It was a great trial to the Countess
to leave her own well ordered, comfortable home for
apartments in an hotel; and she was never done asserting
it to be a great imprudence, as far as Annie was concerned.
But the girl was immovable, and as she was supported
by her uncle and cousin, the Countess was compelled
to acquiesce. But really she was so ready to
find her pleasure in the pleasure of those she loved,
that this acquiescence was not an unmitigated trial.
She suspected the motive for her son’s eager
desire for Philadelphia, and as she had abandoned
without much regret the hope of his marriage with
Annie Hyde, she was far from being disinclined to Cornelia.
She had accustomed herself to the idea of Cornelia
as mistress of the beautiful home she had made.
She was an American, and madame loved her country and
wished her daughter-in-law to be of American lineage.
She was aware that some trouble had come between the
lovers, and she trusted that this visit might be the
ground of a reconciliation. Without question,
or plan, or even strong desire, she felt the wisdom
of making opportunities, and then leaving the improvement
of them to circumstances.
So about the beginning of February
the Hydes were settled in Philadelphia more comfortably
than could have been expected. A handsome house,
handsomely furnished, had been found; and madame had
brought with her the servants necessary to care for
it, and for the family’s comfort. And she
was glad, when the weariness of the journey was over,
to see how naturally and pleasantly her husband and
son took their places in the gay world around them.
She watched the latter constantly, being sure she
would be able to read on his face, and by his manner
and temper, whether affairs relating to Cornelia were
favourable.
In a week she had come to the conclusion
that he was disappointed; which indeed was very much
the case. He could hear nothing of Cornelia.
He had never once got a glimpse of her lovely countenance,
and no scrutiny had revealed to him the place of her
abode. Every house inhabited by a person of the
name of Willing, had been the object of his observation;
but no form that by any possibility could be mistaken
for hers, had passed in or out of their doors.
He became ashamed of haunting particular streets,
and fancied the ladies of certain houses watched him;
and that the maids and menservants chattered and speculated
about his motives.
Every day when he went out Annie gave
him an assuring smile, every day when he returned,
she opened her eyes on him with the question in them
she did not care to formulate; and every day she received
in an answer an almost imperceptible negative shake
of the head, that slight as it was, said despairingly,
“I have not seen her.”
A month passed in this unfruitful
searching misery, and Hyde was almost hopeless.
The journey appeared to be altogether a failure; and
he said to Annie, “I am to be blamed for my
selfishness in permitting you to come here. I
see that you have tired yourself to death for nothing
at all.”
She gave her head a resolute little
shake and answered, “Wait and see. Something
is coming. You have no patience.”
“I assure you, Annie, I ought
to have. I have been buying it every day since
we came to this detestable place.”
“The place is not to blame.
Do you know that I am going to Mrs. Washington’s
reception to-morrow evening? I shall see the President.
He may even speak to me; for my uncle says he appears
there, only as a private gentleman. Cousin, you
are to be my cavalier if it please you; and my uncle
and aunt will attend us.”
“I am devotedly at your service,
Annie; and I will at least point out to you some of
the dazzling beauties of our court—the splendid
Mrs. Bingham, the Miss Allens, and Miss Chews, and
the brilliant Sally McKean.”
“And the lovely Cornelia Moran?”
“She will not be there.”
“My aunt says I must wear a
white gown, and I shah do you all the justice it is
in my power to do.”
“I am always proud of you, Annie. There
is no one like you.”
“Do not say that, George!”
The few words were almost a cry; and she closed her
eyes, and clasped her small hands tightly.
“What have I said, Annie?”
“Nothing—nothing—only
do not flatter me.”
“It is the very truth.”
“Let it pass?—it
is nothing.” She was silent afterwards,
like a person in pain; all her childlike gaiety gone;
and Hyde having a full share of a man’s stupidity
about matters of pure feeling, did not for one moment
suspect why his praise should give her pain. He
thought her objection must come from some religious
scruple.
The next evening however he had every
reason to feel proud of his cousin. She was really
an exquisite little creature; angels would have given
her all she wished, she was so charming. The touch
of phantasy and flame in her nature illumined her
face, and no one could look at her without feeling
that a fervent and transparent soul gazed from eyes,
so lambent with soft spiritual fire. This impression
was enhanced by her childlike gown of white crape
over soft white silk; it suggested her sweet fretless
life, and also something unknown and unseen in her
very simplicity.
Hyde, who was dressed in the very
finest mode, was proud to take her on his arm; and
the Earl watched them with a fond and faithful hope
that all would soon fall out as he desired it.
He could not indeed imagine a man remaining unimpressed
by a beauty so captivating to the highest senses.
“It will be as we wish,” he said to his
Countess as they watched them entering the waiting
coach; and she answered with that smile of admission,
which has always its reserved opinion.
Mrs. Washington’s parlours were
crowded when they entered them, but the splendid throng
gave the highest expression of their approval possible,
by that involuntary silence which indicates a pleased
astonishment. The Earl at once presented his
niece to Mrs. Washington, and afterwards to the President,
who as a guest of Mrs. Washington was walking about
the rooms talking to the ladies present. Resplendent
in purple and white satin and the finest of laces,
the august man captivated Lady Annie at the first
glance. She curtsied with inimitable grace, and
would have kissed the hand he held out to her, had
he permitted the homage. For a few minutes he
remained in conversation with the party, then he went
forward, and Hyde turning with his beautiful charge,
met Cornelia face to face.
They looked at each other as two disembodied
souls might meet and look after death—reproaching,
questioning, entreating, longing. Hyde flushed
and paled, and could not for his very life make the
slightest effort at recognition or speech. Not
a word would come. He knew not what word to say.
Cornelia who had seen his entry was more prepared.
She gave him one long look of tender reproach as she
passed, but she made no movement of recognition.
If she had said one syllable—if she had
paused one moment— if she had shown in
any way the least desire for a renewal of their acquaintance,
Hyde was sure his heart would have instantly responded.
As it was, they had met and parted in a moment, and
every circumstance had been against him. For
it was the most natural thing in life, that he should,
after his cousin’s interview with Washington,
stoop to her words with delight and interest; and
it was equally natural for Cornelia to put the construction
on his attentions which every one else did. Then
being angry at her apparent indifference, he made these
attentions still more prominent; and Cornelia heard
on every hand the confirmation of her own suspicions:
“They are to be married at Easter. What
a delightful little creature!”
“They have loved each other all their lives.”
“The Earl is delighted with the marriage.”
“He is the most devoted of lovers.”
And there was not a word of dissent
from this opinion until pretty Sally McKean said,
“A fig for your prophecies! George Hyde
has loved and galloped away a score of times.
I would not pay any more attention to his proposals
and promises, than I would pay to the wind that blows
where it listeth; here to-day, and somewhere else to-morrow.”
To all these speculations Cornelia
forced herself to listen with a calm unalterable;
and Hyde and Annie watched her from a distance.
“So that is the marvellous beauty!” said
Annie.
“Is she not marvellously beautiful?” asked
Hyde.
“Yes. I will say that much.
But why did she look at you with so much of reproach?
What have you done to her?”
“That is it. What have I done? Or
left undone?”
“Who is the gentleman with her?”
“I know not. She has many
relatives here; wealthy Quakers, and some of them
doubtless of the new order, who do not disdain the
frivolity of fine clothing.”
“Indeed, I assure you the Quakers
were ever nice in their taste for silks and velvets
and laces. The man is handsome enough even to
be her escort. And to judge by appearances he
is her devoted servant. Will you regard them,
cousin?”
“I do. Alas, I see nothing
else! She is more lovely then ever.”
“She is wonderfully dressed.
That gown of pale blue and silver would make any woman
look like an angel?-but indeed she is lovely beyond
comparison. There are none like her in this room.
It will be a thousand pities if you lose her.”
“I shall be inconsolable.”
“You may have another opportunity
even tonight. I see that my aunt is approaching
with a young lady, if you do not wish to make a new
acquaintance, go and try to meet Cornelia again.”
“Thank you, Annie. You
can tell me what I have missed afterwards.”
He wandered through the parlours speaking
to one and another but ever on the watch for Cornelia.
He saw her no more that night. She had withdrawn
as soon as possible after meeting Hyde, and he was
so miserably disappointed, so angry at the unpropitious
circumstances which had dominated their casual meeting,
that he hardly spoke to anyone as they returned home;
and was indeed so little interested in other affairs
that he forgot until the next day to ask Annie whose
acquaintance he had rather palpably refused.
“You cannot guess who it was,”
said Annie in answer to his query;” so I will
make a favour of telling you. Do you remember
the Rev. Mr. Darner, rector of Downhill Market?”
“Very well. He preached very tiresome sermons.”
“The young lady was his daughter Mary.”
“’Tis a miracle! What is Mary Darner
doing in America?”
“She is on a visit to her cousin,
who is married to the Governor of Massachusetts.
He is here on some state matter, and as Miss Damer
also wished to see Washington, he brought her with
him.”
“Mary Damer! We went nutting
together one autumn. She came often to Hyde Court
when I was a lad.”
“And she promises to come often
to see me when I return to England. I wonder
what we have been brought together for. There
must be a reason for a meeting so unlikely—Can
it be Cornelia?”
“’Tis the most improbable
of suppositions. I do not suppose she ever saw
Cornelia.”
“She had not even heard of her—and
yet my mind will connect them.”
“You have no reason to do so;
and it is beyond all likelihood. I am sorry I
went away from Mary.”
“She took no notice of your desertion.”
“That is, as maybe. I was
a mere lad when I saw her last. Is she passable?”
“She is extremely handsome.
My aunt heard that she is to marry a Boston gentleman
of good promise and estate. I dare say it is true.”
It was so true that even while they
were speaking of the matter Mary was writing these
words to her betrothed :” Yesterday I met
the Hydes. You know my father has the living
of Downhill Market from them, and I had a constraint
on me to be agreeable. The young Lord got out
of my way. Did he imagine I had designs on him?
I look for a better man. What fate brought us
together in Philadelphia, I know not. I may see
a great deal of them in the coming summer, and then
I may find out. At present I will dismiss the
Hydes. I have met pleasanter company.”
Annie dismissed the subject with the
same sort of impatience. It seemed to no one
a matter of any importance, and even Annie that day
had none of the penetrative insight which belongs
to
“that finer
atmosphere,
Where footfalls of appointed things,
Reverberant of days to be,
Are heard in forecast echoings,
Like wave beats from a viewless sea.”
As for Hyde, he was shaken, confused,
lifted off his feet, as it were; but after another
day had passed, he had come to one steady resolution—
he would SPEAL to Cornelia when
next he met her, no matter
where it was, or who was
with her. And that passionate stress
of spirit which induced this resolve, led him also
to go out and seek for this opportunity.
For nearly a week he kept this conscious,
constant watch. Its insisting sorrowful longing
was like a cry from Love’s watch towers, but
it did not reach the beloved one; or else she did
not answer it. One bright morning he resolved
to walk through the great dry goods stores—
Whiteside’s, Guest’s, and the famous Mrs.
Holland’s, where the beauties of the “gay
Quakers” bought their choicest fabrics in foreign
chintzes, lawns, and Indian muslins. All along
Front, Arch, and Walnut Streets, the pavements were
lumbered with boxes and bales of fine imported goods,
and he was getting impatient of the bustle and pushing,
when he saw Anthony Clymer approaching him. The
young man was driving a new and very spirited team,
and as he with some difficulty held them, he called
to Hyde to come and drive with him. Hyde was
just in the weary mood that welcomed change, and he
leaped to his friend’s side, and felt a sudden
exhilaration in the rapid motion of the buoyant, active
animals. After an hour’s driving they came
to a famous hostelry, and Clymer said, “Let
us give ourselves lunch, and the horses bait and a
rest, then we will make them show their mettle home
again.”
The proposal met with a hearty response,
and the young men had a luxurious meal and more good
wine than they ought to have taken. But Hyde
had at last found some one who could talk of Cornelia;
rave of her face and figure, and vow she was the topmost
beauty in Philadelphia. He listened, and finally
asked where she dwelt, and learned that she was staying
with Mr. Theodore Willing, a wealthy gentleman of the
strictest Quaker principles, but whose son was one
of the “feeble men or wet Quakers” who
wore powder and ruffles and dressed like a person of
fashion.
“He dangles around the bewitching
Miss Moran, and gives no other man a chance,”
said Clymer spitefully. “It is the talk
from east to west, and ’tis said, he is so enamoured
of the beauty, that he will have her, if he buy her.”
“Do you talk in your sleep?
Or do you tell your dreams for truth?” asked
Hyde angrily. “’Tis not to be believed
that a girl so lovely can be bought by mere pounds
sterling. A woman’s heart lies not so near
her hand—God’s mercy for it! or any
fool might seize it.”
“What are you raging at? She is not your
mistress.”
“Let us talk of horses—or
politics—or the last play—or
anything but women. They breed quarrels, if you
do but name them.”
“Content. I will tell you
a good story about Tom Herring,”
The story was evidently a good one,
for Hyde laughed at the recital with a noisy merriment
very unusual to him. The champ and gallop of the
horses, and Clymer’s vociferous enjoyment of
his own wit, blended with it; and for a moment or
two Hyde was under a physical exhilaration as intoxicating
as the foam of the champagne they had been drinking.
In the height of this meretricious gaiety, a carriage,
driving at a rather rapid rate turned into the road;
and Cornelia suddenly raised her eyes to the festive
young men, and then dropped them with an abrupt, even
angry expression.
Hyde became silent and speechless,
and Clymer was quickly infected by the very force
and potency of his companion’s agitation and
distressed surprise. He heard him mutter, “Oh
this is intolerable!” and then, it was, as if
a cold sense of dislike had sprung up between them.—Both
were glad to escape the other’s company, and
Hyde fled to the privacy of his own room, that he
might hide there the almost unbearable chagrin and
misery this unfortunate meeting had caused him.
“Where shall I run to avoid
myself?” he cried as he paced the floor in an
agony of shame. “She will never respect
me again. She ought not. I am the most wretched
of lovers. Such a tom-fool to betray me as Anthony
Clymer! A man like a piece of glass, that I have
seen through a dozen times!” Then he threw himself
into a chair and covered his face with his hands,
and wept tears full of anger and shameful distress.
For some days sorrow, and confusion,
and distraction bound his senses; he refused all company,
would neither eat, nor sleep, nor talk, and he looked
as white and wan as a spectre. A stupid weight,
a dismal sullen stillness succeeded the storm of shame
and grief; and he felt himself to be the most forlorn
of human beings. If it had been only possible
to undo things done! he would have bought the privilege
with years. At length, however, the first misery
of that wretched meeting passed away, and then he
resolved to forget.
“It is all past!” he said
despairingly. “She is lost to me forever!
Her memory breaks my heart! I will not remember
any longer! I will forfeit all to forgetfulness.
Alas, alas, Cornelia! Though you would not believe
me, it was the perfectest love that I gave you!”
Cornelia’s sorrow, though quite
as profound, was different in character. Her
sex and various other considerations taught her more
restraint; but she also felt the situation to be altogether
unendurable, and after a few moments of bitterly eloquent
silence, she said—
“Mother, let us go home.
I can bear this place no longer. Let us go home
to-morrow. Twice this past week I have been made
to suffer more than you can imagine. The man
is apparently worthless—but I love him.”
“You say ‘apparently’ Cornelia?”
“Oh, how can I tell? There
may be excuses—compulsions—I
do not know what. I am only sure of one thing,
that I love and suffer.”
For despite all reason, despite even
the evidence of her own eyes, Cornelia kept a reserve.
And in that pitiful last meeting, there had been a
flash from Hyde’s eyes, that said to her—she
knew not what of unconquerable love and wrong and
sorrow—a flash swifter than lightning and
equally potential. It had stirred into tumult
and revolt all the platitudes with which she had tried
to quiet her restless heart; made her doubtful, pitiful
and uncertain of all things, even while her lover’s
reckless gaiety seemed to confirm her worst suspicions.
And she felt unable to face constantly this distressing
dubious questioning, so that it was with almost irritable
entreaty she said, “Let us go home, mother.”
“I have desired to do so for
two weeks, Cornelia,” answered Mrs. Moran.
“I think our visit has already been too long.”
“My Cousin Silas has now begun
to make love to me; and his mother and sisters like
it no better than I do. I hate this town with
its rampant, affected fashion and frivolities!
It is all a pretence! The people are naturally
saints, and they are absurd and detestable, scheming
to make the most of both worlds—going to
meeting and quoting texts—and then playing
that they are men and women of fashion. Mother,
let us go home at once. Lucinda can pack our
trunks to-day, and we will leave in the morning.”
“Can we go without an escort?”
“Oh yes, we can. Lucinda
will wait on us—she too is longing for New
York—and who can drive us more carefully
than Cato? And my dear mother, if Silas wants
to escort us, do not permit him. Please be very
positive. I am at the end of my patience.
I am like to cry out! I am so unhappy, mother!”
“My dear, we will go home to-morrow.
We can make the journey in short stages. Do not
break down now, Cornelia. It is only a little
longer.”
“I shall not break down—if
we go home.” And as the struggle to resist
sorrow proves the capacity to resist it, Cornelia kept
her promise. As they reached New York her cheerfulness
increased, and when they turned into Maiden Lane,
she clapped her hands for very joy. And oh, how
delightful was the pleasant sunny street, the familiar
houses, the brisk wind blowing, the alert cheerful
looking men and women that greeted each other in passing
with lively words, and bright smiles! O how delightful
the fresh brown garden, in which the crocuses were
just beginning to peep, the bright looking home, the
dear father running with glad surprise to greet them,
the handsome, pleasant rooms, the refreshing tea,
the thousand small nameless joys that belong to the
little darling word “Home.”
She ran upstairs to her own dear room,
laid her head on her pillow, sat down in her favourite
chair, opened her desk, let in all the sunshine she
could, and then fell with holy gratitude on her knees
and thanked God for her sweet home, and for the full
cup of mercies He had given her to drink in it.
When she went downstairs the mail
had just come in, and the Doctor sat before a desk
covered with newspapers and letters. “Cornelia,”
he cried in a voice full of interest, “here
is a letter for you—a long letter.
It is from Paris.”
“It is from Arenta!” she
exclaimed, as she examined the large sheets closed
with a great splash of red wax, bearing the de Tounnerre
crest. It had indeed come from Paris, the city
of dreadful slaughter, yet Cornelia opened it with
a smiling excitement, as she said again:—
“It is from Arenta!”