THE REAL VICTIMS OF “SOCIETY”
I
There is nothing paradoxical in affirming
that while no woman before she has reached the age
of thirty-five or forty should, if she can avoid it,
compete with men in work which the exigencies of civilization
(man-made civilization) have adapted to him alone,
still, every girl of every class, from the industrial
straight up to the plutocratic, should be trained
in some congenial vocation during her plastic years.
Civilization in certain respects is as inadequate as
it was a thousand years ago. Socialism might
solve the problem if it were not for the Socialists.
Certainly no man or body of men has yet arisen with
the proper amount of imagination, selflessness, brains
and constructive genius, necessary to plan a social
order in which all men shall work without overworking
and support all women during the best years of the
child-bearing and child-rearing span. If men had
been clever enough to make even an imperfect attempt
to protect women without independent means from the
terrors of life, say by taxing themselves, they would
not be pestered to-day with the demand for equal rights,
see themselves menaced in nearly all of the remunerative
industries and professions, above all by the return
of the Matriarchate.
It is Life that has developed the
fighting instinct in woman, bred the mental antagonism
of sex. Nature did not implant either. Nor
has she ever wavered a jot from the original mix compounded
in her immemorial laboratory. Man is man and
woman is woman to-day, even to the superior length
of limb in the male (relative to the trunk) and the
greater thickness of hairs in the woman’s eyelashes.
In England women of the leisure class showed during
the years of the sports craze a tendency to an unfeminine
length of limb, often attaining or surpassing the
male average. But Nature avenged herself by narrowing
the pelvis and weakening the reproductive organs.
Free trade drove the old sturdy yeoman into the towns
and diminished the stature and muscular power of their
descendants, but ten months of trench life and Nature
laughed at the weak spot in civilization. The
moment false conditions are removed she claims her
own.
Women to-day may prove themselves
quite capable of doing, and permanently, the work
of men in ammunition and munition factories, but it
is patent that when human bipeds first groped their
way about the terrifying Earth, she was not equal
to the task of leveling forests, killing the beasts
that roamed them, hurling spears in savage warfare,
and bearing many children for many years. She
played her part in the scheme of things precisely
as Nature had meant she should play it: she cooked,
she soothed the warrior upon his return from killing
of man or beast, and she brought up her boys to be
warriors and her girls to serve them. There you
have Nature and her original plan, a bald and uninteresting
plan, but eminently practical for the mere purpose
(which is all that concerns her) of keeping the world
going. And so it would be to-day, even in the
civilized core, if man had been clever enough to take
the cue Nature flung in his face and kept woman where
to-day he so ingenuously desires to see her, and before
whose deliverance he is as helpless as old Nature
herself.
Man obeyed the herding instinct whose
ultimate expression was the growth of great cities,
invented the telegraph, the cable, the school, the
newspaper, the glittering shops, the public-lecture
system; and, voluntarily or carelessly, threw open
to women the gates of all the arts, to say nothing
of the crafts. And all the while he not only
continued to antagonize woman, proud and eager in her
awakened faculties, with stupid interferences, embargoes
and underhand thwartings, but he permitted her to
struggle and die in the hideous contacts with life
from which a small self-imposed tax would have saved
her. Some of the most brilliant men the world
will ever know have lived, and administered, and passed
into history, and the misery of helpless women has
increased from generation to generation, while coincidentally
her intelligence has waxed from resignation or perplexity
through indignation to a grim determination. Man
missed his chance and must take the consequences.
Certainly, young women fulfill their
primary duty to the race and, incidentally, do all
that should be expected of them, in the bringing forth
and rearing of children, making the home, and seeing
to the coherence of the social groups they have organized
for recreation or purely in the interest of the next
generation.
Perhaps the women will solve the problem.
I can conceive the time when there will have developed
an enormous composite woman’s brain which, combining
superior powers of intuition and sympathy with that
high intellectual development the modern conditions
so generously permit, added to their increasing knowledge
of and interest in the social, economic, and political
problems, will make them a factor in the future development
of the race, gradually bring about a state of real
civilization which twenty generations of men have failed
to accomplish.
But that is not yet, and we may all
be dead before its heyday. The questions of the
moment absorb us. We must take them as they arise
and do the best we can with existing conditions.
The world is terribly conservative. Look at the
European War.
II
Nowhere are fortunes so insecure as
in the United States. The phrase, “Three
generations from shirt-sleeves to shirt-sleeves,”
was not coined in Europe. But neither does it
embrace a great American truth Many a fortune rises
and falls within the span of one generation. Many
a girl reared in luxury, or what passes in her class
for luxury, is suddenly forced out into the economic
world with no preparation whatever. It would
be interesting to gather the statistics of men who,
with a large salary, or a fair practice, and indulged
family, and a certain social position to keep up,
either vaguely intend to save and invest one of these
days—perhaps when the children are educated—or
carry a large life insurance which they would find
too heavy a tax at the moment.
Often, indeed, a man does insure his
life, and then in some year of panic or depression
is forced to sell the policy or go under. Or he
insures in firms that fail. My father insured
in three companies and all failed before he died.
In San Francisco the “earthquake clause”
prevented many men from recovering a penny on their
merchandise or investments swept away by the fire.
Even a large number of the rich were embarrassed by
that fire, for, having invested millions in Class
A buildings, which were fire-proof, they saw no necessity
for expending huge sums annually in premiums.
They never thought of a general conflagration whose
momentum would carry the flames across the street
and into their buildings through the windows, eating
up the interiors and leaving the fire-proof shell.
One family lost six million dollars in a few hours,
and emigrated to one of the Swiss lakes in order to
be able to educate their children while their fortunes
slowly recovered with the aid of borrowed capital.
A large number of girls, who, without
being rich, had led the sheltered life before the
fire, were obliged to go to work at once. Some
were clever enough to know what they could do and did
it without loss of time, some were assisted, others
blundered along and nearly starved.
Often men who have done well and even
brilliantly up to middle life, are not equal to the
tremendous demand upon the vital energies of beginning
life over again after some disastrous visitation of
Nature, or a panic, or an ill-advised personal venture
has wrecked their own business or that of the concern
in which they were a highly paid cog. In the
mining States men are dependent upon the world’s
demand for their principal product. Farmers and
stock-raisers are often cruelly visited, strikes or
hard times paralyze mills and factories; and in times
of panic and dry-rot the dealers in luxuries, including
booksellers—to say nothing of the writers
of books as well as the devotees of all the arts—are
the first to suffer. And it is their women that
suffer acutely, because although many of these men
may hang on and recover, many more do not. They
have used up their vital forces. It is not so
much a matter of will as of physics. A woman in
the same conditions who had been obliged to tax her
vital organs for an equal number of years would no
doubt have lasted as long.
Unless defective, there is not a girl
alive, certainly not an American girl, who is wholly
lacking in some sort of ability. The parasite
type (who is growing rare in these days, by the way,
for it is now the fashion to “do things”)
either fastens herself upon complacent relatives or
friends when deserted by fortune, or drifts naturally
into the half-world, always abundantly recruited from
such as she.
Many girls have a certain facility
in the arts and crafts, which, with severe training,
might fit them for a second place in the class which
owes its origin to Heaven-born gifts. If their
facility manifests itself in writing they could be
trained at college, or even on the small local newspaper
to write a good mechanical story, constructed out
of popular elements and eminently suited to the popular
magazine. Or they may fit themselves for dramatic
or musical criticism, or advertisement writing, which
pays enormously but is not as easy as it sounds.
Or if every school (I am saying nothing about girls’
colleges) would train their promising “composition”
writers in reporting, their graduates would plant
their weary feet far more readily than they do now
when they come to a great city and beseech a busy editor
to give them a chance.
Almost anything can be done with the
plastic mind. But not always. It is the
better part of wisdom for proud parents to discover
just what their offspring’s facility amounts
to before spending money on an art or a musical education,
for instance. I had a painful experience, and
no doubt it has been duplicated a thousand times, for
Europe before the war was full of girls (many living
on next to nothing) who were studying “art”
or “voice culture,” with neither the order
of endowment nor the propelling brain-power to justify
the sacrifice of their parents or the waste of their
own time.
Some years ago, finding that a young
relative, who was just finishing her school course,
drew and painted in water colors with quite a notable
facility, and the family for generations having manifested
talents in one way or another, I decided to take her
abroad and train her faculty that she might be spared
the humiliation of dependence, nor feel a natural
historic inclination to marry the first man who offered
her an alternative dependence; and at the same time
be enabled to support herself in a wholly congenial
way. I did not delude myself with the notion
that she was a genius, but I thought it likely she
would become apt in illustrating, and I knew that I
could throw any amount of work in her way, or secure
her a position in the art department of some magazine.
I took her to the European city where
I was then living and put her in the best of its art
schools. To make a long story short, after I had
expended some five thousand dollars on her, including
traveling expenses and other incidentals, the net
result was an elongated thumb. I was forced to
the conclusion that she had not an atom of real talent,
merely the treacherous American facility. Moreover,
she lost all her interest in “art” when
it meant hard work and persistent application.
I was wondering what on earth I was to do with her
when she solved the problem herself. She announced
with unusual decision that she wanted to be a nurse,
had always wanted to be a nurse (she had never mentioned
the aspiration to me) and that nothing else interested
her. Her mother had been an invalid; one way or
another she had seen a good deal of illness.
Accordingly I sent her back to this
country and entered her, through the influence of
friends, at a hospital. She graduated at the head
of her class, and although that was three or four
years ago she has never been idle since. She
elected to take infectious cases, as the remuneration
is higher, and although she is very small, with such
tiny hands and feet that while abroad her gloves and
boots had to be made to order, no doubt she has so
trained her body that the strains in nursing fall
upon no particular member.
In that case I paid for my own mistake,
and she found her level in ample time, which is as
it should be. Of what use is experience if you
are to be misled by family vanity? As she is pretty
and quite mad about children, no doubt she will marry;
but the point is that she can wait; or, later, if
the man should prove inadequate, she can once more
support herself, and with enthusiasm, for she loves
the work.
To be a nurse is no bed of roses;
but neither is anything else. To be dependent
in the present stage of civilization is worse, and
nothing real is accomplished in life without work
and its accompaniment of hard knocks. Nursing
is not only a natural vocation for a woman, but an
occupation which increases her matrimonial chances
about eighty per cent. Nor is it as arduous after
the first year’s training is over as certain
other methods of wresting a livelihood from an unwilling
world—reporting, for instance. It is
true that only the fit survive the first year’s
ordeal, but on the other hand few girls are so foolish
as to choose the nursing career who do not feel within
themselves a certain stolid vitality. After graduation
from the hospital course their future depends upon
themselves. Doctors soon discover the most desirable
among the new recruits, others find permanent places
in hospitals; and, it may be added, the success of
these young women depends upon a quality quite apart
from mere skill—personality. In the
spring of 1915 I was in a hospital and there was one
nurse I would not have in the room. I was told
that she was one of the most valuable nurses on the
staff, but that was nothing to me.
I could not see that any of the nurses
in this large hospital was overworked. All looked
healthy and contented. My own “night special,”
save when I had a temperature and demanded ice, slept
from the time she prepared me for the night until
she rose to prepare me for the day, with the exception
of the eleven o’clock supper which she shared
with the hospital staff. Being very pretty and
quite charming she will marry, no doubt, although
she refuses to nurse men. But there are always
the visiting doctors, the internes, and the unattached
men in households, where in the most seductive of
all garbs, she remains for weeks at a time.
In fact nearly all nurses are pretty. I wonder
why?
The hospital nurses during the day
arrived at intervals to take my temperature, give
me detestable nourishment, or bring me flowers or a
telephone message. It certainly never occurred
to me to pity any of them, and when they lingered
to talk they entertained me with pleasant pictures
of their days off. They struck me as being able
to enjoy life very keenly, possibly because of being
in a position to appreciate its contrasts.
I know the daughter of a wealthy and
historic family, whose head—he is precisely
the type of the elderly, cold-blooded, self-righteous,
self-conscious New York aristocrat of the stage—will
not permit her to gratify her desire to write for
publication, “for,” saith he, “I
do not wish to see my honored name on the back of
works of fiction.”
I do not think, myself, that he has
deprived the world of one more author, for if she
had fiction in her brain-cells no parental dictum
could keep it confined within the walls of her skull;
but the point is that being a young woman of considerable
energy and mental activity, she found mere society
unendurable and finally persuaded her father to make
her one of his secretaries. She learned not only
stenography and typewriting but telegraphy. There
is a private apparatus in their Newport home for her
father’s confidential work, and this she manipulates
with the skill of a professional. If the fortunes
of her family should go to pieces, she could find
a position and support herself without the dismal
and health-racking transition which is the fate of
so many unfortunate girls suddenly bereft and wholly
unprepared.
III
The snobbishness of this old gentleman
is by no means a prerogative of New York’s “old
families.” One finds it in every class of
American men above the industrial. In Honoré
Willsie’s novel, Lydia of the Pines,
an American novel of positive value, the father was
a day laborer, as a matter of a fact (although of
good old New England farming stock), earning a dollar
and a half a day, and constantly bemoaning the fact;
yet when “young Lydia,” who was obliged
to dress like a scarecrow, wished to earn her own
pin-money by making fudge he objected violently.
The itching pride of the American male deprives him
of many comforts and sometimes of honor and freedom,
because he will not let his wife use her abilities
and her spare time. He will steal or embezzle
rather than have the world look on while “his”
wife ekes out the family income. The determined
Frenchwomen have had their men in training for generations,
and the wife is the business partner straight up to
the haute bourgeoisie; but the American woman, for
all her boasted tyranny over the busy male of her
land, is either an expensive toy or a mere household
drudge, until years and experience give her freedom
of spirit. This war will do more to liberate her
than that mild social earthquake called the suffrage
movement. The rich women are working so hard
that not only do they dress and entertain far less
than formerly but their husbands are growing quite
accustomed to their separate prominence and publicly
admitted usefulness. The same may be said of
groups of women in less conspicuous classes, and when
the war is over it is safe to say these women will
continue to do as they please. There is something
insidiously fascinating in work to women that never
have worked, not so much in the publicity it may give
but in the sense of mental expansion; and, in the instance
of war, the passion of usefulness, the sense of dedication
to a high cause, the necessary frequent suppression
of self, stamp the soul with an impress that never
can be obliterated. That these women engaged in
good works often quarrel like angry cats, or fight
for their relief organization as a lioness would fight
for her hungry cub, is beside the point. That
is merely another way of admitting they are human beings;
not necessarily women, but just human beings.
As it was in the beginning, is now, etc.
Far better let loose their angry passions in behalf
of the men who are fighting to save the world from
a reversion to barbarism, than rowing their dressmakers,
glaring across the bridge table, and having their
blood poisoned by eternal jealousy over some man.
And if it will hasten the emancipation
of the American man from the thralldom of snobbery
still another barrier will go down in the path of
the average woman. Just consider for a moment
how many men are failures. They struggle along
until forty or forty-five “on their own,”
although fitted by nature to be clerks and no more,
striving desperately to keep up appearances—for
the sake of their own pride, for the sake of their
families, even for the sake of being “looked
up to” by their wife and observant offspring.
But without real hope, because without real ability
(they soon, unless fools, outlive the illusions of
youth when the conquest of fortune was a matter of
course) always in debt, and doomed to defeat.
How many women have said to me—women
in their thirties or early forties, and with two or
three children of increasing demands: “Oh,
if I could help! How unjust of parents not to
train girls to do something they can fall back on.
I want to go to work myself and insure my children
a good education and a start in the world, but what
can I do? If I had been specialized in any one
thing I’d use it now whether my husband liked
it or not. But although I have plenty of energy
and courage and feel that I could succeed in almost
anything I haven’t the least idea how to go
about it.”
If a woman’s husband collapses
into death or desuetude while her children are young,
it certainly is the bounden duty of some member of
her family to support her until her children are old
enough to go to school, for no one can take her place
in the home before that period. Moreover, her
mind should be as free of anxiety as her body of strain.
But what a ghastly reflection upon civilization it
is when she is obliged to stand on her feet all day
in a shop or factory, or make tempting edibles for
some Woman’s Exchange, because she cannot afford
to spend time upon a belated training that might admit
her lucratively to one of the professions or business
industries.
The childless woman solves the problem
with comparative ease. She invariably shows more
energy and decision, provided, of course, these qualities
have been latent within her.
Nevertheless, it is often extraordinary
just what she does do. For instance I knew a
family of girls upon whose college education an immense
sum had been expended, and whose intellectual arrogance
I never have seen equalled. When their father
failed and died, leaving not so much as a small life
insurance, what did they do? Teach? Write?
Edit? Become some rich and ignorant man’s
secretary? Not a bit of it. They cooked.
Always noted in their palmy days for their “table,”
and addicted to relieving the travail of intellect
with the sedative of the homeliest of the minor arts,
they began on preserves for the Woman’s Exchange;
and half the rich women in town were up at their house
day after day stirring molten masses in a huge pot
on a red-hot range.
It was sometime before they were taken
seriously, and, particularly after the enthusiasm
of their friends waned, there was a time of hard anxious
struggle. But they were robust and determined,
and in time they launched out as caterers and worked
up a first-class business. They took their confections
to the rear entrances of their friends’ houses
on festive occasions and accepted both pay and tips
with lively gratitude. They educated their younger
brothers and lost their arrogance. They never
lost their friends.
Owing to dishonest fiction the impression
prevails throughout the world that “Society”
is heartless and that the rich and well-to-do drop
their friends the moment financial reverses force them
either to reduce their scale of living far below the
standard, or go to work. When that happens it
is the fault of the reversed, not of the entrenched.
False pride, constant whining, or insupportable irritabilities
gradually force them into a dreary class apart.
If anything, people of wealth and secure position
take a pride in standing by their old friends (their
“own sort”), in showing themselves above all
the means sins of which fiction and the stage have
accused them, and in lending what assistance they can.
Even when the head of the family has disgraced himself
and either blown out his brains or gone to prison,
it depends entirely upon the personalities of his
women whether or not they retain their friends.
In fact any observant student of life is reminded
daily that one’s real position in the world
depends upon personality, more particularly if backed
by character. Certainly it is nine-tenths of
the battle for struggling women.
Another woman whom I always had looked
upon as a charming butterfly, but who, no doubt, had
long shown her native shrewdness and determination
in the home, stepped into her husband’s shoes
when he collapsed from strain, abetted by drink, and
now competes in the insurance business with the best
of the men. But she had borne the last of her
children and she has perfect health.
Galsworthy’s play, The Fugitive,
may not have been good drama but it had the virtue
of provoking thought after one had left the theater.
More than ever it convinced me, at least, that the
women of means and leisure with sociological leanings
should let the working girl take care of herself for
a time and devote their attention to the far more
hopeless problem of the lady suddenly thrown upon her
own resources.
No doubt this problem will have ceased
to exist twenty years hence. Every girl, rich
or poor, and all grades between, will have specialized
during her plastic years on something to be used as
a resource; but at present there are thousands of
young women who find the man they married in ignorance
an impossible person to live with and yet linger on
in wretched bondage because what little they know of
social conditions terrifies them. If they are
pretty they fear other men as much as they fear their
own husbands, and for all the “jobs” open
to unspecialized women, they seem to be preeminently
unfitted. If the rich women of every large city
would build a great college in which every sort of
trade and profession could be taught, from nursing
to stenography, from retouching photographs to the
study of law, while the applicant, after her sincerity
had been established, was kept in comfort and ease
of mind, with the understanding that she should repay
her indebtedness in weekly installments after the college
had launched her into the world, we should have no
more such ghastly plays as The Fugitive or
hideous sociological tracts as A Bed of Roses.