The autumn dragged on monotonously.
Miss Bart had received one or two notes from Judy
Trenor, reproaching her for not returning to Bellomont;
but she replied evasively, alleging the obligation
to remain with her aunt. In truth, however, she
was fast wearying of her solitary existence with Mrs.
Peniston, and only the excitement of spending her
newly-acquired money lightened the dulness of the
days.
All her life Lily had seen money go
out as quickly as it came in, and whatever theories
she cultivated as to the prudence of setting aside
a part of her gains, she had unhappily no saving vision
of the risks of the opposite course. It was a
keen satisfaction to feel that, for a few months at
least, she would be independent of her friends’
bounty, that she could show herself abroad without
wondering whether some penetrating eye would detect
in her dress the traces of Judy Trenor’s refurbished
splendour. The fact that the money freed her temporarily
from all minor obligations obscured her sense of the
greater one it represented, and having never before
known what it was to command so large a sum, she lingered
delectably over the amusement of spending it.
It was on one of these occasions that,
leaving a shop where she had spent an hour of deliberation
over a dressing-case of the most complicated elegance,
she ran across Miss Farish, who had entered the same
establishment with the modest object of having her
watch repaired. Lily was feeling unusually virtuous.
She had decided to defer the purchase of the dressing-case
till she should receive the bill for her new opera-cloak,
and the resolve made her feel much richer than when
she had entered the shop. In this mood of self-approval
she had a sympathetic eye for others, and she was
struck by her friend’s air of dejection.
Miss Farish, it appeared, had just
left the committee-meeting of a struggling charity
in which she was interested. The object of the
association was to provide comfortable lodgings, with
a reading-room and other modest distractions, where
young women of the class employed in down town offices
might find a home when out of work, or in need of
rest, and the first year’s financial report
showed so deplorably small a balance that Miss Farish,
who was convinced of the urgency of the work, felt
proportionately discouraged by the small amount of
interest it aroused. The other-regarding sentiments
had not been cultivated in Lily, and she was often
bored by the relation of her friend’s philanthropic
efforts, but today her quick dramatizing fancy seized
on the contrast between her own situation and that
represented by some of Gerty’s “cases.”
These were young girls, like herself; some perhaps
pretty, some not without a trace of her finer sensibilities.
She pictured herself leading such a life as theirs—a
life in which achievement seemed as squalid as failure—and
the vision made her shudder sympathetically. The
price of the dressing-case was still in her pocket;
and drawing out her little gold purse she slipped
a liberal fraction of the amount into Miss Farish’s
hand.
The satisfaction derived from this
act was all that the most ardent moralist could have
desired. Lily felt a new interest in herself
as a person of charitable instincts: she had never
before thought of doing good with the wealth she had
so often dreamed of possessing, but now her horizon
was enlarged by the vision of a prodigal philanthropy.
Moreover, by some obscure process of logic, she felt
that her momentary burst of generosity had justified
all previous extravagances, and excused any in which
she might subsequently indulge. Miss Farish’s
surprise and gratitude confirmed this feeling, and
Lily parted from her with a sense of self-esteem which
she naturally mistook for the fruits of altruism.
About this time she was farther cheered
by an invitation to spend the Thanksgiving week at
a camp in the Adirondacks. The invitation was
one which, a year earlier, would have provoked a less
ready response, for the party, though organized by
Mrs. Fisher, was ostensibly given by a lady of obscure
origin and indomitable social ambitions, whose acquaintance
Lily had hitherto avoided. Now, however, she
was disposed to coincide with Mrs. Fisher’s
view, that it didn’t matter who gave the party,
as long as things were well done; and doing things
well (under competent direction) was Mrs. Wellington
Bry’s strong point. The lady (whose consort
was known as “Welly” Bry on the Stock
Exchange and in sporting circles) had already sacrificed
one husband, and sundry minor considerations, to her
determination to get on; and, having obtained a hold
on Carry Fisher, she was astute enough to perceive
the wisdom of committing herself entirely to that
lady’s guidance. Everything, accordingly,
was well done, for there was no limit to Mrs. Fisher’s
prodigality when she was not spending her own money,
and as she remarked to her pupil, a good cook was
the best introduction to society. If the company
was not as select as the cuisine, the Welly Brys
at least had the satisfaction of figuring for the
first time in the society columns in company with
one or two noticeable names; and foremost among these
was of course Miss Bart’s. The young lady
was treated by her hosts with corresponding deference;
and she was in the mood when such attentions are acceptable,
whatever their source. Mrs. Bry’s admiration
was a mirror in which Lily’s self-complacency
recovered its lost outline. No insect hangs its
nest on threads as frail as those which will sustain
the weight of human vanity; and the sense of being
of importance among the insignificant was enough to
restore to Miss Bart the gratifying consciousness of
power. If these people paid court to her it proved
that she was still conspicuous in the world to which
they aspired; and she was not above a certain enjoyment
in dazzling them by her fineness, in developing their
puzzled perception of her superiorities.
Perhaps, however, her enjoyment proceeded
more than she was aware from the physical stimulus
of the excursion, the challenge of crisp cold and
hard exercise, the responsive thrill of her body to
the influences of the winter woods. She returned
to town in a glow of rejuvenation, conscious of a
clearer colour in her cheeks, a fresh elasticity
in her muscles. The future seemed full of a vague
promise, and all her apprehensions were swept out of
sight on the buoyant current of her mood.
A few days after her return to town
she had the unpleasant surprise of a visit from Mr.
Rosedale. He came late, at the confidential hour
when the tea-table still lingers by the fire in friendly
expectancy; and his manner showed a readiness to adapt
itself to the intimacy of the occasion.
Lily, who had a vague sense of his
being somehow connected with her lucky speculations,
tried to give him the welcome he expected; but there
was something in the quality of his geniality which
chilled her own, and she was conscious of marking each
step in their acquaintance by a fresh blunder.
Mr. Rosedale—making himself
promptly at home in an adjoining easy-chair, and sipping
his tea critically, with the comment: “You
ought to go to my man for something really good”—appeared
totally unconscious of the repugnance which kept her
in frozen erectness behind the urn. It was perhaps
her very manner of holding herself aloof that appealed
to his collector’s passion for the rare and
unattainable. He gave, at any rate, no sign of
resenting it and seemed prepared to supply in his own
manner all the ease that was lacking in hers.
His object in calling was to ask her
to go to the opera in his box on the opening night,
and seeing her hesitate he said persuasively:
“Mrs. Fisher is coming, and I’ve secured
a tremendous admirer of yours, who’ll never
forgive me if you don’t accept.”
As Lily’s silence left him with
this allusion on his hands, he added with a confidential
smile: “Gus Trenor has promised to come
to town on purpose. I fancy he’d go a good
deal farther for the pleasure of seeing you.”
Miss Bart felt an inward motion of
annoyance: it was distasteful enough to hear
her name coupled with Trenor’s, and on Rosedale’s
lips the allusion was peculiarly unpleasant.
“The Trenors are my best friends—I
think we should all go a long way to see each other,”
she said, absorbing herself in the preparation of
fresh tea.
Her visitor’s smile grew increasingly
intimate. “Well, I wasn’t thinking
of Mrs. Trenor at the moment—they say Gus
doesn’t always, you know.” Then,
dimly conscious that he had not struck the right note,
he added, with a well-meant effort at diversion:
“How’s your luck been going in Wall Street,
by the way? I hear Gus pulled off a nice little
pile for you last month.”
Lily put down the tea-caddy with an
abrupt gesture. She felt that her hands were
trembling, and clasped them on her knee to steady
them; but her lip trembled too, and for a moment she
was afraid the tremor might communicate itself to
her voice. When she spoke, however, it was in
a tone of perfect lightness.
“Ah, yes—I had a
little bit of money to invest, and Mr. Trenor, who
helps me about such matters, advised my putting it
in stocks instead of a mortgage, as my aunt’s
agent wanted me to do; and as it happened, I made
a lucky ’turn’—is that what
you call it? For you make a great many yourself,
I believe.”
She was smiling back at him now, relaxing
the tension of her attitude, and admitting him, by
imperceptible gradations of glance and manner, a step
farther toward intimacy. The protective instinct
always nerved her to successful dissimulation, and
it was not the first time she had used her beauty
to divert attention from an inconvenient topic.
When Mr. Rosedale took leave, he carried
with him, not only her acceptance of his invitation,
but a general sense of having comported himself in
a way calculated to advance his cause. He had
always believed he had a light touch and a knowing
way with women, and the prompt manner in which Miss
Bart (as he would have phrased it) had “come
into line,” confirmed his confidence in his
powers of handling this skittish sex. Her way
of glossing over the transaction with Trenor he regarded
at once as a tribute to his own acuteness, and a confirmation
of his suspicions. The girl was evidently nervous,
and Mr. Rosedale, if he saw no other means of advancing
his acquaintance with her, was not above taking advantage
of her nervousness.
He left Lily to a passion of disgust
and fear. It seemed incredible that Gus Trenor
should have spoken of her to Rosedale. With all
his faults, Trenor had the safeguard of his traditions,
and was the less likely to overstep them because they
were so purely instinctive. But Lily recalled
with a pang that there were convivial moments when,
as Judy had confided to her, Gus “talked foolishly”:
in one of these, no doubt, the fatal word had slipped
from him. As for Rosedale, she did not, after
the first shock, greatly care what conclusions he
had drawn. Though usually adroit enough where
her own interests were concerned, she made the mistake,
not uncommon to persons in whom the social habits are
instinctive, of supposing that the inability to acquire
them quickly implies a general dulness. Because
a blue-bottle bangs irrationally against a window-pane,
the drawing-room naturalist may forget that under
less artificial conditions it is capable of measuring
distances and drawing conclusions with all the accuracy
needful to its welfare; and the fact that Mr. Rosedale’s
drawing-room manner lacked perspective made Lily class
him with Trenor and the other dull men she knew, and
assume that a little flattery, and the occasional
acceptance of his hospitality, would suffice to render
him innocuous. However, there could be no doubt
of the expediency of showing herself in his box on
the opening night of the opera; and after all, since
Judy Trenor had promised to take him up that winter,
it was as well to reap the advantage of being first
in the field.
For a day or two after Rosedale’s
visit, Lily’s thoughts were dogged by the consciousness
of Trenor’s shadowy claim, and she wished she
had a clearer notion of the exact nature of the transaction
which seemed to have put her in his power; but her
mind shrank from any unusual application, and she was
always helplessly puzzled by figures. Moreover
she had not seen Trenor since the day of the Van Osburgh
wedding, and in his continued absence the trace of
Rosedale’s words was soon effaced by other impressions.
When the opening night of the opera
came, her apprehensions had so completely vanished
that the sight of Trenor’s ruddy countenance
in the back of Mr. Rosedale’s box filled her
with a sense of pleasant reassurance. Lily had
not quite reconciled herself to the necessity of appearing
as Rosedale’s guest on so conspicuous an occasion,
and it was a relief to find herself supported by any
one of her own set—for Mrs. Fisher’s
social habits were too promiscuous for her presence
to justify Miss Bart’s.
To Lily, always inspirited by the
prospect of showing her beauty in public, and conscious
tonight of all the added enhancements of dress, the
insistency of Trenor’s gaze merged itself in
the general stream of admiring looks of which she
felt herself the centre. Ah, it was good to be
young, to be radiant, to glow with the sense of slenderness,
strength and elasticity, of well-poised lines and
happy tints, to feel one’s self lifted to a height
apart by that incommunicable grace which is the bodily
counterpart of genius!
All means seemed justifiable to attain
such an end, or rather, by a happy shifting of lights
with which practice had familiarized Miss Bart, the
cause shrank to a pin-point in the general brightness
of the effect. But brilliant young ladies, a little
blinded by their own effulgence, are apt to forget
that the modest satellite drowned in their light is
still performing its own revolutions and generating
heat at its own rate. If Lily’s poetic
enjoyment of the moment was undisturbed by the base
thought that her gown and opera cloak had been indirectly
paid for by Gus Trenor, the latter had not sufficient
poetry in his composition to lose sight of these prosaic
facts. He knew only that he had never seen Lily
look smarter in her life, that there wasn’t
a woman in the house who showed off good clothes as
she did, and that hitherto he, to whom she owed the
opportunity of making this display, had reaped no
return beyond that of gazing at her in company with
several hundred other pairs of eyes.
It came to Lily therefore as a disagreeable
surprise when, in the back of the box, where they
found themselves alone between two acts, Trenor said,
without preamble, and in a tone of sulky authority:
“Look here, Lily, how is a fellow ever to see
anything of you? I’m in town three or four
days in the week, and you know a line to the club
will always find me, but you don’t seem to remember
my existence nowadays unless you want to get a tip
out of me.”
The fact that the remark was in distinctly
bad taste did not make it any easier to answer, for
Lily was vividly aware that it was not the moment
for that drawing up of her slim figure and surprised
lifting of the brows by which she usually quelled
incipient signs of familiarity.
“I’m very much flattered
by your wanting to see me,” she returned, essaying
lightness instead, “but, unless you have mislaid
my address, it would have been easy to find me any
afternoon at my aunt’s—in fact, I
rather expected you to look me up there.”
If she hoped to mollify him by this
last concession the attempt was a failure, for he
only replied, with the familiar lowering of the brows
that made him look his dullest when he was angry:
“Hang going to your aunt’s, and wasting
the afternoon listening to a lot of other chaps talking
to you! You know I’m not the kind to sit
in a crowd and jaw—I’d always rather
clear out when that sort of circus is going on.
But why can’t we go off somewhere on a little
lark together—a nice quiet little expedition
like that drive at Bellomont, the day you met me at
the station?”
He leaned unpleasantly close in order
to convey this suggestion, and she fancied she caught
a significant aroma which explained the dark flush
on his face and the glistening dampness of his forehead.
The idea that any rash answer might
provoke an unpleasant outburst tempered her disgust
with caution, and she answered with a laugh:
“I don’t see how one can very well take
country drives in town, but I am not always surrounded
by an admiring throng, and if you will let me know
what afternoon you are coming I will arrange things
so that we can have a nice quiet talk.”
“Hang talking! That’s
what you always say,” returned Trenor, whose
expletives lacked variety. “You put me off
with that at the Van Osburgh wedding—but
the plain English of it is that, now you’ve
got what you wanted out of me, you’d rather have
any other fellow about.”
His voice had risen sharply with the
last words, and Lily flushed with annoyance, but she
kept command of the situation and laid a persuasive
hand on his arm.
“Don’t be foolish, Gus;
I can’t let you talk to me in that ridiculous
way. If you really want to see me, why shouldn’t
we take a walk in the Park some afternoon? I
agree with you that it’s amusing to be rustic
in town, and if you like I’ll meet you there,
and we’ll go and feed the squirrels, and you
shall take me out on the lake in the steam-gondola.”
She smiled as she spoke, letting her
eyes rest on his in a way that took the edge from
her banter and made him suddenly malleable to her
will.
“All right, then: that’s
a go. Will you come tomorrow? Tomorrow at
three o’clock, at the end of the Mall. I’ll
be there sharp, remember; you won’t go back
on me, Lily?”
But to Miss Bart’s relief the
repetition of her promise was cut short by the opening
of the box door to admit George Dorset.
Trenor sulkily yielded his place,
and Lily turned a brilliant smile on the newcomer.
She had not talked with Dorset since their visit at
Bellomont, but something in his look and manner told
her that he recalled the friendly footing on which
they had last met. He was not a man to whom the
expression of admiration came easily: his long
sallow face and distrustful eyes seemed always barricaded
against the expansive emotions. But, where her
own influence was concerned, Lily’s intuitions
sent out thread-like feelers, and as she made room
for him on the narrow sofa she was sure he found a
dumb pleasure in being near her. Few women took
the trouble to make themselves agreeable to Dorset,
and Lily had been kind to him at Bellomont, and was
now smiling on him with a divine renewal of kindness.
“Well, here we are, in for another
six months of caterwauling,” he began complainingly.
“Not a shade of difference between this year
and last, except that the women have got new clothes
and the singers haven’t got new voices.
My wife’s musical, you know—puts
me through a course of this every winter. It isn’t
so bad on Italian nights—then she comes
late, and there’s time to digest. But when
they give Wagner we have to rush dinner, and I pay
up for it. And the draughts are damnable—asphyxia
in front and pleurisy in the back. There’s
Trenor leaving the box without drawing the curtain!
With a hide like that draughts don’t make any
difference. Did you ever watch Trenor eat?
If you did, you’d wonder why he’s alive;
I suppose he’s leather inside too.—But
I came to say that my wife wants you to come down
to our place next Sunday. Do for heaven’s
sake say yes. She’s got a lot of bores
coming—intellectual ones, I mean; that’s
her new line, you know, and I’m not sure it
ain’t worse than the music. Some of ’em
have long hair, and they start an argument with the
soup, and don’t notice when things are handed
to them. The consequence is the dinner gets cold,
and I have dyspepsia. That silly ass Silverton
brings them to the house—he writes poetry,
you know, and Bertha and he are getting tremendously
thick. She could write better than any of ’em
if she chose, and I don’t blame her for wanting
clever fellows about; all I say is: ’Don’t
let me see ’em eat!’”
The gist of this strange communication
gave Lily a distinct thrill of pleasure. Under
ordinary circumstances, there would have been nothing
surprising in an invitation from Bertha Dorset; but
since the Bellomont episode an unavowed hostility had
kept the two women apart. Now, with a start of
inner wonder, Lily felt that her thirst for retaliation
had died out. If you would forgive
your enemy, says the Malay proverb, first
INFLICT A hurt on him; and Lily was
experiencing the truth of the apothegm. If she
had destroyed Mrs. Dorset’s letters, she might
have continued to hate her; but the fact that they
remained in her possession had fed her resentment
to satiety.
She uttered a smiling acceptance,
hailing in the renewal of the tie an escape from Trenor’s
importunities.