The History of Mr. Polly

There are events that detach themselves from the general stream of occurrences and seem to partake of the nature of revelations.  Such was this Parsons affair.  It began by seeming grotesque; it ended disconcertingly.  The fabric of Mr. Polly’s daily life was torn, and beneath it he discovered depths and terrors.

Life was not altogether a lark.

The calling in of a policeman seemed at the moment a pantomime touch.  But when it became manifest that Mr. Garvace was in a fury of vindictiveness, the affair took on a different complexion.  The way in which the policeman made a note of everything and aspirated nothing impressed the sensitive mind of Polly profoundly.  Polly presently found himself straightening up ties to the refrain of “’E then ’It you on the ’Ed and——­”

In the dormitory that night Parsons had become heroic.  He sat on the edge of the bed with his head bandaged, packing very slowly and insisting over and again:  “He ought to have left my window alone, O’ Man.  He didn’t ought to have touched my window.”

Polly was to go to the police court in the morning as a witness.  The terror of that ordeal almost overshadowed the tragic fact that Parsons was not only summoned for assault, but “swapped,” and packing his box.  Polly knew himself well enough to know he would make a bad witness.  He felt sure of one fact only, namely, that “’E then ’It ’Im on the ’Ed and—­” All the rest danced about in his mind now, and how it would dance about on the morrow Heaven only knew.  Would there be a cross-examination?  Is it perjoocery to make a slip?  People did sometimes perjuice themselves.  Serious offence.

Platt was doing his best to help Parsons, and inciting public opinion against Morrison.  But Parsons would not hear of anything against Morrison.  “He was all right, O’ Man—­according to his lights,” said Parsons.  “It isn’t him I complain of.”

He speculated on the morrow.  “I shall ’ave to pay a fine,” he said.  “No good trying to get out of it.  It’s true I hit him.  I hit him”—­he paused and seemed to be seeking an exquisite accuracy.  His voice sank to a confidential note;—­“On the head—­about here.”

He answered the suggestion of a bright junior apprentice in a corner of the dormitory.  “What’s the Good of a Cross summons?” he replied; “with old Corks, the chemist, and Mottishead, the house agent, and all that lot on the Bench?  Humble Pie, that’s my meal to-morrow, O’ Man.  Humble Pie.”

Packing went on for a time.

“But Lord! what a Life it is!” said Parsons, giving his deep notes scope.  “Ten-thirty-five a man trying to do his Duty, mistaken perhaps, but trying his best; ten-forty—­Ruined!  Ruined!” He lifted his voice to a shout.  “Ruined!” and dropped it to “Like an earthquake.”

“Heated altaclation,” said Polly.

“Like a blooming earthquake!” said Parsons, with the notes of a rising wind.

He meditated gloomily upon his future and a colder chill invaded Polly’s mind.  “Likely to get another crib, ain’t I—­with assaulted the guvnor on my reference.  I suppose, though, he won’t give me refs.  Hard enough to get a crib at the best of times,” said Parsons.

“You ought to go round with a show, O’ Man,” said Mr. Polly.

Things were not so dreadful in the police court as Mr. Polly had expected.  He was given a seat with other witnesses against the wall of the court, and after an interesting larceny case Parsons appeared and stood, not in the dock, but at the table.  By that time Mr. Polly’s legs, which had been tucked up at first under his chair out of respect to the court, were extended straight before him and his hands were in his trouser pockets.  He was inventing names for the four magistrates on the bench, and had got to “the Grave and Reverend Signor with the palatial Boko,” when his thoughts were recalled to gravity by the sound of his name.  He rose with alacrity and was fielded by an expert policeman from a brisk attempt to get into the vacant dock.  The clerk to the Justices repeated the oath with incredible rapidity.

“Right O,” said Mr. Polly, but quite respectfully, and kissed the book.

His evidence was simple and quite audible after one warning from the superintendent of police to “speak up.”  He tried to put in a good word for Parsons by saying he was “naturally of a choleraic disposition,” but the start and the slow grin of enjoyment upon the face of the grave and Reverend Signor with the palatial Boko suggested that the word was not so good as he had thought it.  The rest of the bench was frankly puzzled and there were hasty consultations.

“You mean ’E ’As a ’Ot temper,” said the presiding magistrate.

“I mean ’E ’As a ’Ot temper,” replied Polly, magically incapable of aspirates for the moment.

“You don’t mean ’E ketches cholera.”

“I mean—­he’s easily put out.”

“Then why can’t you say so?” said the presiding magistrate.

Parsons was bound over.

He came for his luggage while every one was in the shop, and Garvace would not let him invade the business to say good-by.  When Mr. Polly went upstairs for margarine and bread and tea, he slipped on into the dormitory at once to see what was happening further in the Parsons case.  But Parsons had vanished.  There was no Parsons, no trace of Parsons.  His cubicle was swept and garnished.  For the first time in his life Polly had a sense of irreparable loss.

A minute or so after Platt dashed in.

“Ugh!” he said, and then discovered Polly.  Polly was leaning out of the window and did not look around.  Platt went up to him.

“He’s gone already,” said Platt.  “Might have stopped to say good-by to a chap.”

There was a little pause before Polly replied.  He thrust his finger into his mouth and gulped.

“Bit on that beastly tooth of mine,” he said, still not looking at Platt.  “It’s made my eyes water, something chronic.  Any one might think I’d been doing a blooming Pipe, by the look of me.”