Mademoiselle Valle and Dowson together
realized that after this the growing up process was
more rapid. It always seems incredibly rapid
to lookers on, after thirteen. But these two watchers
felt that, in Robin’s case, it seemed unusually
so. Robin had always been interested in her studies
and clever at them, but, suddenly, she developed a
new concentration and it was of an order which her
governess felt denoted the secret holding of some object
in view. She devoted herself to her lessons with
a quality of determination which was new. She
had previously been absorbed, but not determined.
She made amazing strides and seemed to aspire to a
thoroughness and perfection girls did not commonly
aim at—especially at the frequently rather
preoccupied hour of blossoming. Mademoiselle
encountered in her an eagerness that she—who
knew girls—would have felt it optimistic
to expect in most cases. She wanted to work over
hours; she would have read too much if she had not
been watched and gently coerced.
She was not distracted by the society
of young people of her own age. She, indeed,
showed a definite desire to avoid such companionship.
What she said to Mademoiselle Valle one afternoon during
a long walk they took together, held its own revelation
for the older woman.
They had come upon the two Erwyns
walking with their attendant in Kensington Gardens,
and, seeing them at some distance, Robin asked her
companion to turn into another walk.
“I don’t want to meet
them,” she said, hurriedly. “I don’t
think I like girls. Perhaps it’s horrid
of me—but I don’t. I don’t
like those two.” A few minutes later, after
they had walked in an opposite direction, she said
thoughtfully.
“Perhaps the kind of girls I
should like to know would not like to know me.”
From the earliest days of her knowledge
of Lord Coombe, Mademoiselle Valle had seen that she
had no cause to fear lack of comprehension on his
part. With a perfection of method, they searched
each other’s intelligence. It had become
understood that on such occasions as there was anything
she wished to communicate or inquire concerning, Mr.
Benby, in his private room, was at Mademoiselle’s
service, and there his lordship could also be met
personally by appointment.
“There have been no explanations,”
Mademoiselle Valle said to Dowson. “He
does not ask to know why I turn to him and I do not
ask to know why he cares about this particular child.
It is taken for granted that is his affair and not
mine. I am paid well to take care of Robin, and
he knows that all I say and do is part of my taking
care of her.”
After the visit of the Erwyn children,
she had a brief interview with Coombe, in which she
made for him a clear sketch. It was a sketch
of unpleasant little minds, avid and curious on somewhat
exotic subjects, little minds, awake to rather common
claptrap and gossipy pinchbeck interests.
“Yes—unpleasant,
luckless, little persons. I quite understand.
They never appeared before. They will not appear
again. Thank you, Mademoiselle,” he said.
The little girls did not appear again;
neither did any others of their type, and the fact
that Feather knew little of other types was a sufficient
reason for Robin’s growing up without companions
of her own age.
“She’s a lonely child, after all,”
Mademoiselle said.
“She always was,” answered
Dowie. “But she’s fond of us, bless
her heart, and it isn’t loneliness like it was
before we came.”
“She is not unhappy. She
is too blooming and full of life,” Mademoiselle
reflected. “We adore her and she has many
interests. It is only that she does not know
the companionship most young people enjoy. Perhaps,
as she has never known it, she does not miss it.”
The truth was that if the absence
of intercourse with youth produced its subtle effect
on her, she was not aware of any lack, and a certain
uncompanioned habit of mind, which gave her much time
for dreams and thought, was accepted by her as a natural
condition as simply as her babyhood had accepted the
limitations of the Day and Night Nurseries.
She was not a self-conscious creature,
but the time came when she became rather disturbed
by the fact that people looked at her very often,
as she walked in the streets. Sometimes they turned
their heads to look after her; occasionally one person
walking with another would say something quietly to
his or her companion, and they even paused a moment
to turn quite round and look. The first few times
she noticed this she flushed prettily and said nothing
to Mademoiselle Valle who was generally with her.
But, after her attention had been attracted by the
same thing on several different days, she said uneasily:
“Am I quite tidy, Mademoiselle?”
“Quite,” Mademoiselle answered—just
a shade uneasy herself.
“I began to think that perhaps
something had come undone or my hat was crooked,”
she explained. “Those two women stared so.
Then two men in a hansom leaned forward and one said
something to the other, and they both laughed a little,
Mademoiselle!” hurriedly, “Now, there
are three young men!” quite indignantly.
“Don’t let them see you notice them—but
I think it rude!”
They were carelessly joyous and not
strictly well-bred youths, who were taking a holiday
together, and their rudeness was quite unintentional
and without guile. They merely stared and obviously
muttered comments to each other as they passed, each
giving the hasty, unconscious touch to his young moustache,
which is the automatic sign of pleasurable observation
in the human male.
“If she had had companions of
her own age she would have known all about it long
ago,” Mademoiselle was thinking.
Her intelligent view of such circumstances
was that the simple fact they arose from could—with
perfect taste—only be treated simply.
It was a mere fact; therefore, why be prudish and affected
about it.
“They did not intend any rudeness,”
she said, after they had gone by. “They
are not much more than boys and not perfectly behaved.
People often stare when they see a very pretty girl.
I am afraid I do it myself. You are very pretty,”
quite calmly, and as one speaking without prejudice.
Robin turned and looked at her, and
the colour, which was like a Jacqueminot rose, flooded
her face. She was at the flushing age. Her
gaze was interested, speculative, and a shade startled—merely
a shade.
“Oh,” she said briefly—not
in exclamation exactly, but in a sort of acceptance.
Then she looked straight before her and went on walking,
with the lovely, slightly swaying, buoyant step which
in itself drew attracted eyes after her.
“If I were a model governess,
such as one read of long before you were born,”
Mademoiselle Valle continued, “I should feel
it my duty to tell you that beauty counts for nothing.
But that is nonsense. It counts a great deal—with
some women it counts for everything. Such women
are not lucky. One should thank Heaven for it
and make the best of it, without exaggerated anxiety.
Both Dowie and I, who love you, are grateful
to le bon Dieu that you are pretty.”
“I have sometimes thought I
was pretty, when I saw myself in the glass,”
said Robin, with unexcited interest. “It
seemed to me that I looked pretty. But,
at the same time, I couldn’t help knowing that
everything is a matter of taste and that it might be
because I was conceited.”
“You are not conceited,” answered the
Frenchwoman.
“I don’t want to be,”
said Robin. “I want to be—a serious
person with—with a strong character.”
Mademoiselle’s smile was touched
with affectionate doubt. It had not occurred
to her to view this lovely thing in the light of a
“strong” character. Though, after
all, what exactly was strength? She was a warm,
intensely loving, love compelling, tender being.
Having seen much of the world, and of humanity and
inhumanity, Mademoiselle Valle had had moments of
being afraid for her—particularly when,
by chance, she recalled the story Dowson had told
her of the bits of crushed and broken leaves.
“A serious person,” she said, “and
strong?”
“Because I must earn my own
living,” said Robin. “I must be strong
enough to take care of myself. I am going to be
a governess—or something.”
Here, it was revealed to Mademoiselle
as in a flash, was the reason why she had applied
herself with determination to her studies. This
had been the object in view. For reasons of her
own, she intended to earn her living. With touched
interest, Mademoiselle Valle waited, wondering if
she would be frank about the reason. She merely
said aloud:
“A governess?”
“Perhaps there may be something
else I can do. I might be a secretary or something
like that. Girls and women are beginning to do
so many new things,” her charge explained herself.
“I do not want to be—supported and
given money. I mean I do not want—other
people—to buy my clothes and food—and
things. The newspapers are full of advertisements.
I could teach children. I could translate business
letters. Very soon I shall be old enough to begin.
Girls in their teens do it.”
She had laid some of her cards on
the table, but not all, poor child. She was not
going into the matter of her really impelling reasons.
But Mademoiselle Valle was not dull, and her affection
added keenness to her mental observations. Also
she had naturally heard the story of the Thorpe lawsuit
from Dowson. Inevitably several points suggested
themselves to her.
“Mrs. Gareth-Lawless——”
she began, reasonably.
But Robin stopped her by turning her
face full upon her once more, and this time her eyes
were full of clear significance.
“She will let me go,”
she said. “You know she will let me
go, Mademoiselle, darling. You know she will.”
There was a frank comprehension and finality in the
words which made a full revelation of facts Mademoiselle
herself had disliked even to allow to form themselves
into thoughts. The child knew all sorts of things
and felt all sorts of things. She would probably
never go into details, but she was extraordinarily,
harrowingly, aware. She had been learning
to be aware for years. This had been the secret
she had always kept to herself.
“If you are planning this,”
Mademoiselle said, as reasonably as before, “we
must work very seriously for the news few years.”
“How long do you think it will
take?” asked Robin. She was nearing sixteen—bursting
into glowing blossom—a radiant, touching
thing whom one only could visualize in flowering gardens,
in charming, enclosing rooms, figuratively embraced
by every mature and kind arm within reach of her.
This presented itself before Mademoiselle Valle with
such vividness that it was necessary for her to control
a sigh.
“When I feel that you are ready,
I will tell you,” she answered. “And
I will do all I can to help you—before I
leave you.”
“Oh!” Robin gasped, in
an involuntarily childish way, “I—hadn’t
thought of that! How could I live without
you—and Dowie?”
“I know you had not thought
of it,” said Mademoiselle, affectionately.
“You are only a dear child yet. But that
will be part of it, you know. A governess or
a secretary, or a young lady in an office translating
letters cannot take her governess and maid with her.”
“Oh!” said Robin again,
and her eyes became suddenly so dewy that the person
who passed her at the moment thought he had never seen
such wonderful eyes in his life. So much of her
was still child that the shock of this sudden practical
realization thrust the mature and determined part
of her being momentarily into the background, and
she could scarcely bear her alarmed pain. It was
true that she had been too young to face her plan
as she must.
But, after the long walk was over
and she found herself in her bedroom again, she was
conscious of a sense of being relieved of a burden.
She had been wondering when she could tell Mademoiselle
and Dowie of her determination. She had not liked
to keep it a secret from them as if she did not love
them, but it had been difficult to think of a way
in which to begin without seeming as if she thought
she was quite grown up—which would have
been silly. She had not thought of speaking today,
but it had all come about quite naturally, as a result
of Mademoiselle’s having told her that she was
really very pretty—so pretty that it made
people turn to look at her in the street. She
had heard of girls and women who were like that, but
she had never thought it possible that she——!
She had, of course, been looked at when she was very
little, but she had heard Andrews say that people
looked because she had so much hair and it was like
curled silk.
She went to the dressing table and
looked at herself in the glass, leaning forward that
she might see herself closely. The face which
drew nearer and nearer had the effect of some tropic
flower, because it was so alive with colour which
seemed to palpitate instead of standing still.
Her soft mouth was warm and brilliant with it, and
the darkness of her eyes was—as it had always
been—like dew. Her brow were a slender
black velvet line, and her lashes made a thick, softening
shadow. She saw they were becoming. She
cupped her round chin in her hands and studied herself
with a desire to be sure of the truth without prejudice
or self conceit. The whole effect of her was
glowing, and she felt the glow as others did.
She put up a finger to touch the velvet petal texture
of her skin, and she saw how prettily pointed and slim
her hand was. Yes, that was pretty—and
her hair—the way it grew about her forehead
and ears and the back of her neck. She gazed at
her young curve and colour and flame of life’s
first beauty with deep curiosity, singularly impersonal
for her years.
She liked it; she began to be grateful
as Mademoiselle had said she and Dowie were.
Yes, if other people liked it, there was no use in
pretending it would not count.
“If I am going to earn my living,”
she thought, with entire gravity, “it may be
good for me. If I am a governess, it will be
useful because children like pretty people. And
if I am a secretary and work in an office, I daresay
men like one to be pretty because it is more cheerful.”
She mentioned this to Mademoiselle
Valle, who was very kind about it, though she looked
thoughtful afterwards. When, a few days later,
Mademoiselle had an interview with Coombe in Benby’s
comfortable room, he appeared thoughtful also as he
listened to her recital of the incidents of the long
walk during which her charge had revealed her future
plans.
“She is a nice child,”
he said. “I wish she did not dislike me
so much. I understand her, villain as she thinks
me. I am not a genuine villain,” he added,
with his cold smile. But he was saying it to
himself, not to Mademoiselle.
This, she saw, but—singularly,
perhaps—she spoke as if in reply.
“Of that I am aware.”
He turned his head slightly, with a quick, unprepared
movement.
“Yes?” he said.
“Would your lordship pardon
me if I should say that otherwise I should not ask
your advice concerning a very young girl?”
He slightly waved his hand.
“I should have known that—if I had
thought of it. I do know it.”
Mademoiselle Valle bowed.
“The fact,” she said,
“that she seriously thinks that perhaps beauty
may be an advantage to a young person who applies for
work in the office of a man of business because it
may seem bright and cheerful to him when he is tired
and out of spirits—that gives one furiously
to think. Yes, to me she said it, milord—with
the eyes of a little dove brooding over her young.
I could see her—lifting them like an angel
to some elderly vaurien, who would merely think her
a born cocotte.”
Here Coombe’s rigid face showed thought indeed.
“Good God!” he muttered,
quite to himself, “Good God!” in a low,
breathless voice. Villain or saint, he knew not
one world but many.
“We must take care of her,”
he said next. “She is not an insubordinate
child. She will do nothing yet?”
“I have told her she is not
yet ready,” Mademoiselle Valle answered.
“I have also promised to tell her when she is—And
to help her.”
“God help her if we do not!”
he said. “She is, on the whole, as ignorant
as a little sheep—and butchers are on the
lookout for such as she is. They suit them even
better than the little things whose tendencies are
perverse from birth. An old man with an evil
character may be able to watch over her from a distance.”
Mademoiselle regarded him with grave
eyes, which took in his tall, thin erectness of figure,
his bearing, the perfection of his attire with its
unfailing freshness, which was not newness.
“Do you call yourself an old man, milord?”
she asked.
“I am not decrepit—years
need not bring that,” was his answer. “But
I believe I became an old man before I was thirty.
I have grown no older—in that which is
really age—since then.”
In the moment’s silence which
followed, his glance met Mademoiselle Valle’s
and fixed itself.
“I am not old enough—or
young enough—to be enamoured of Mrs. Gareth-Lawless’
little daughter,” he said. “You
need not be told that. But you have heard that
there are those who amuse themselves by choosing to
believe that I am.”
“A few light and not too clean-minded
fools,” she admitted without flinching.
“No man can do worse for himself
than to explain and deny,” he responded with
a smile at once hard and fine. “Let them
continue to believe it.”