Two or three decades earlier the prevailing
sentiment would have been that “poor little
Mrs. Gareth-Lawless” and her situation were
pathetic. Her acquaintances would sympathetically
have discussed her helplessness and absolute lack
of all resource. So very pretty, so young, the
mother of a dear little girl—left with no
income! How very sad! What could she
do? The elect would have paid her visits and
sitting in her darkened drawing-room earnestly besought
her to trust to her Maker and suggested “the
Scriptures” as suitable reading. Some of
them—rare and strange souls even in their
time—would have known what they meant and
meant what they said in a way they had as yet only
the power to express through the medium of a certain
shibboleth, the rest would have used the same forms
merely because shibboleth is easy and always safe and
creditable.
But to Feather’s immediate circle
a multiplicity of engagements, fevers of eagerness
in the attainment of pleasures and ambitions, anxieties,
small and large terrors, and a whirl of days left no
time for the regarding of pathetic aspects. The
tiny house up whose staircase—tucked against
a wall—one had seemed to have the effect
of crowding even when one went alone to make a call,
suddenly ceased to represent hilarious little parties
which were as entertaining as they were up to date
and noisy. The most daring things London gossiped
about had been said and done and worn there. Novel
social ventures had been tried—dancing
and songs which seemed almost startling at first—but
which were gradually being generally adopted.
There had always been a great deal of laughing and
talking of nonsense and the bandying of jokes and
catch phrases. And Feather fluttering about and
saying delicious, silly things at which her hearers
shouted with glee. Such a place could not suddenly
become pathetic. It seemed almost indecent for
Robert Gareth-Lawless to have dragged Death nakedly
into their midst—to have died in his bed
in one of the little bedrooms, to have been put in
his coffin and carried down the stairs scraping the
wall, and sent away in a hearse. Nobody could
bear to think of it.
Feather could bear it less than anybody
else. It seemed incredible that such a trick
could have been played her. She shut herself
up in her stuffy little bedroom with its shrimp pink
frills and draperies and cried lamentably. At
first she cried as a child might who was suddenly
snatched away in the midst of a party. Then she
began to cry because she was frightened. Numbers
of cards “with sympathy” had been left
at the front door during the first week after the
funeral, they had accumulated in a pile on the salver
but very few people had really come to see her and
while she knew they had the excuse of her recent bereavement
she felt that it made the house ghastly. It had
never been silent and empty. Things had always
been going on and now there was actually not a sound
to be heard—no one going up and down stairs—Rob’s
room cleared of all his belongings and left orderly
and empty—the drawing-room like a gay little
tomb without an occupant. How long would
it be before it would be full of people again—how
long must she wait before she could decently invite
anyone?—It was really at this point that
fright seized upon her. Her brain was not given
to activities of reasoning and followed no thought
far. She had not begun to ask herself questions
as to ways and means. Rob had been winning at
cards and had borrowed some money from a new acquaintance
so no immediate abyss had yawned at her feet.
But when the thought of future festivities rose before
her a sudden check made her involuntarily clutch at
her throat. She had no money at all, bills were
piled everywhere, perhaps now Robert was dead none
of the shops would give her credit. She remembered
hearing Rob come into the house swearing only the
day before he was taken ill and it had been because
he had met on the door-step a collector of the rent
which was long over-due and must be paid. She
had no money to pay it, none to pay the servants’
wages, none to pay the household bills, none to pay
for the monthly hire of the brougham! Would they
turn her into the street—would the servants
go away—would she be left without even
a carriage? What could she do about clothes!
She could not wear anything but mourning now and by
the time she was out of mourning her old clothes would
have gone out of fashion. The morning on which
this aspect of things occurred to her, she was so
terrified that she began to run up and down the room
like a frightened little cat seeing no escape from
the trap it is caught in.
“It’s awful—it’s
awful—it’s awful!” broke out
between her sobs. “What can I do?
I can’t do anything! There’s nothing
to do! It’s awful—it’s
awful—it’s awful!” She ended
by throwing herself on the bed crying until she was
exhausted. She had no mental resources which
would suggest to her that there was anything but crying
to be done. She had cried very little in her
life previously because even in her days of limitation
she had been able to get more or less what she wanted—though
of course it had generally been less. And crying
made one’s nose and eyes red. On this occasion
she actually forgot her nose and eyes and cried until
she scarcely knew herself when she got up and looked
in the glass.
She rang the bell for her maid and
sat down to wait her coming. Tonson should bring
her a cup of beef tea.
“It’s time for lunch,”
she thought. “I’m faint with crying.
And she shall bathe my eyes with rose-water.”
It was not Tonson’s custom to
keep her mistress waiting but today she was not prompt.
Feather rang a second time and an impatient third
and then sat in her chair and waited until she began
to feel as she felt always in these dreadful days
the dead silence of the house. It was the thing
which most struck terror to her soul—that
horrid stillness. The servants whose place was
in the basement were too much closed in their gloomy
little quarters to have made themselves heard upstairs
even if they had been inclined to. During the
last few weeks feather had even found herself wishing
that they were less well trained and would make a little
noise—do anything to break the silence.
The room she sat in—Rob’s
awful little room adjoining—which was awful
because of what she had seen for a moment lying stiff
and hard on the bed before she was taken away in hysterics—were
dread enclosures of utter silence. The whole
house was dumb—the very street had no sound
in it. She could not endure it. How dare
Tonson? She sprang up and rang the bell again
and again until its sound came back to her pealing
through the place.
Then she waited again. It seemed
to her that five minutes passed before she heard the
smart young footman mounting the stairs slowly.
She did not wait for his knock upon the door but opened
it herself.
“How dare Tonson!” she
began. “I have rung four or five times!
How dare she!”
The smart young footman’s manner
had been formed in a good school. It was attentive,
impersonal.
“I don’t know, ma’am,” he
answered.
“What do you mean? What
does she mean? Where is she?” Feather
felt almost breathless before his unperturbed good
style.
“I don’t know, ma’am,”
he answered as before. Then with the same unbiassed
bearing added, “None of us know. She has
gone away.”
Feather clutched the door handle because
she felt herself swaying.
“Away! Away!” the words were a faint
gasp.
“She packed her trunk yesterday
and carried it away with her on a four-wheeler.
About an hour ago, ma’am.” Feather
dropped her hand from the knob of the door and trailed
back to the chair she had left, sinking into it helplessly.
“Who—who will dress me?” she
half wailed.
“I don’t know, ma’am,”
replied the young footman, his excellent manner presuming
no suggestion or opinion whatever. He added however,
“Cook, ma’am, wishes to speak to you.”
“Tell her to come to me here,”
Feather said. “And I—I want a
cup of beef tea.”
“Yes, ma’am,” with
entire respect. And the door closed quietly behind
him.
It was not long before it was opened
again. “Cook” had knocked and Feather
had told her to come in. Most cooks are stout,
but this one was not. She was a thin, tall woman
with square shoulders and a square face somewhat reddened
by constant proximity to fires. She had been
trained at a cooking school. She carried a pile
of small account books but she brought nothing else.
“I wanted some beef tea, Cook,”
said Feather protestingly.
“There is no beef tea, ma’am,”
said Cook. “There is neither beef, nor
stock, nor Liebig in the house.”
“Why—why not?”
stammered Feather and she stammered because even her
lack of perception saw something in the woman’s
face which was new to her. It was a sort of finality.
She held out the pile of small books.
“Here are the books, ma’am,”
was her explanation. “Perhaps as you don’t
like to be troubled with such things, you don’t
know how far behind they are. Nothing has been
paid for months. It’s been an every-day
fight to get the things that was wanted. It’s
not an agreeable thing for a cook to have to struggle
and plead. I’ve had to do it because I
had my reputation to think of and I couldn’t
send up rubbish when there was company.”
Feather felt herself growing pale
as she sat and stared at her. Cook drew near
and laid one little book after another on the small
table near her.
“That’s the butcher’s
book,” she said. “He’s sent
nothing in for three days. We’ve been living
on leavings. He’s sent his last, he says
and he means it. This is the baker’s.
He’s not been for a week. I made up rolls
because I had some flour left. It’s done
now—and he’s done. This
is groceries and Mercom & Fees wrote to Mr. Gareth-Lawless
when the last month’s supply came, that it would
be the last until payment was made. This
is wines—and coal and wood—and
laundry—and milk. And here is wages,
ma’am, which can’t go on any longer.”
Feather threw up her hands and quite wildly.
“Oh, go away!—go away!” she
cried. “If Mr. Lawless were here—”
“He isn’t, ma’am,”
Cook interposed, not fiercely but in a way more terrifying
than any ferocity could have been—a way
which pointed steadily to the end of things.
“As long as there’s a gentleman in a house
there’s generally a sort of a prospect that things
may be settled some way. At any rate there’s
someone to go and speak your mind to even if you have
to give up your place. But when there’s
no gentleman and nothing—and nobody—respectable
people with their livings to make have got to protect
themselves.”
The woman had no intention of being
insolent. Her simple statement that her employer’s
death had left “Nothing” and “Nobody”
was prompted by no consciously ironic realization
of the diaphanousness of Feather. As for the
rest she had been professionally trained to take care
of her interests as well as to cook and the ethics
of the days of her grandmother when there had been
servants with actual affections had not reached her.
“Oh! go away! Go AWA-AY!” Feather
almost shrieked.
“I am going, ma’am.
So are Edward and Emma and Louisa. It’s
no use waiting and giving the month’s notice.
We shouldn’t save the month’s wages and
the trades-people wouldn’t feed us. We can’t
stay here and starve. And it’s a time of
the year when places has to be looked for. You
can’t hold it against us, ma’am. It’s
better for you to have us out of the house tonight—which
is when our boxes will be taken away.”
Then was Feather seized with a panic.
For the first time in her life she found herself facing
mere common facts which rose before her like a solid
wall of stone—not to be leapt, or crept
under, or bored through, or slipped round. She
was so overthrown and bewildered that she could not
even think of any clever and rapidly constructed lie
which would help her; indeed she was so aghast that
she did not remember that there were such things as
lies.
“Do you mean,” she cried
out, “that you are all going to leave the
house—that there won’t be any servants
to wait on me—that there’s nothing
to eat or drink—that I shall have to stay
here alone—and starve!”
“We should have to starve if
we stayed,” answered Cook simply. “And
of course there are a few things left in the pantry
and closets. And you might get in a woman by
the day. You won’t starve, ma’am.
You’ve got your family in Jersey. We waited
because we thought Mr. and Mrs. Darrel would be sure
to come.”
“My father is ill. I think
he’s dying. My mother could not leave him
for a moment. Perhaps he’s dead now,”
Feather wailed.
“You’ve got your London friends, ma’am—”
Feather literally beat her hands together.
“My friends! Can I go to
people’s houses and knock at their front door
and tell them I haven’t any servants or anything
to eat! Can I do that? Can I?” And
she said it as if she were going crazy.
The woman had said what she had come
to say as spokeswoman for the rest. It had not
been pleasant but she knew she had been quite within
her rights and dealt with plain facts. But she
did not enjoy the prospect of seeing her little fool
of a mistress raving in hysterics.
“You mustn’t let yourself
go, ma’am,” she said. “You’d
better lie down a bit and try to get quiet.”
She hesitated a moment looking at the pretty ruin
who had risen from her seat and stood trembling.
“It’s not my place of
course to—make suggestions,” she said
quietly. “But—had you ever thought
of sending for Lord Coombe, ma’am?”
Feather actually found the torn film
of her mind caught for a second by something which
wore a form of reality. Cook saw that her tremor
appeared to verge on steadying itself.
“Coombe,” she faintly
breathed as if to herself and not to Cook.
“Coombe.”
“His lordship was very friendly
with Mr. Lawless and he seemed fond of—coming
to the house,” was presented as a sort of added
argument. “If you’ll lie down I’ll
bring you a cup of tea, ma’am—though
it can’t be beef.”
Feather staggered again to her bed
and dropped flat upon it—flat as a slim
little pancake in folds of thin black stuff which hung
and floated.
“I can’t bring you cream,”
said Cook as she went out of the room. “Louisa
has had nothing but condensed milk—since
yesterday—to give Miss Robin.”
“Oh-h!” groaned Feather,
not in horror of the tea without cream though that
was awful enough in its significance, but because this
was the first time since the falling to pieces of her
world that she had given a thought to the added calamity
of Robin.