THE first year of trial passed.
If the young wife’s heart-history for that single
year could be written, it would make a volume, every
pages of which the reader would find (sic) spoted with
his tears. No pen but that of the sufferer could
write that history; and to her, no second life, even
in memory, were endurable. The record is sealed
up—and the story will not be told.
It is not within the range of all
minds to comprehend what was endured. Wealth,
position, beauty, admiration, enlarged intelligence,
and highly cultivated tastes, were hers. She was
the wife of a man who almost worshipped her, and who
ceased not to woo her with all the arts he knew how
to practise. Impatient he became, at times, with
her impassiveness, and fretted by her coldness.
Jealous of her he was always. But he strove to
win that love which, ere his half-coercion of her
into marriage, he had been warned he did not possess—but
his strivings were in vain. He was a meaner bird,
and could not mate with the eagle.
To Mrs. Dexter, this life was a breathing
death. Yet with a wonderful power of endurance
and self-control, she moved along her destined way,
and none of the people she met in society—nor
even her nearest friends—had any suspicion
of her real state of mind. As a wife, her sense
of honor was keen. From that virtuous poise, her
mind had neither variableness nor shadow of turning.
No children came with silken wrappings to hide and
make softer the bonds that held her to her husband
in a union that only death could dissolve; the hard,
icy, galling links of the chain were ever visible,
and their trammel ever felt. Cold and desolate
the elegant home remained.
In society, Mrs. Dexter continued
to hold a brilliant position. She was courted,
admired, flattered, envied—the attractive
centre to every circle of which she formed a part.
Rarely to good advantage did her husband appear, for
her mind had so far outrun his in strength and cultivation,
that the contrast was seriously against him—and
he felt it as another barrier between them.
One year of pride was enough for Mr.
Dexter. A beautiful, brilliant, fashionable wife
was rather a questionable article to place on exhibition;
there was danger, he saw, in the experiment. And
so he deemed it only the dictate of prudence to guard
her from temptation. An incident determined him.
They were at Newport, in the mid-season; and their
intention was to remain there two weeks. They
had been to Saratoga, where the beauty and brilliancy
of Mrs. Dexter drew around her some of the most intelligent
and attractive men there. All at once her husband
suggested Newport.
“I thought we had fixed on next
week,” said Mrs. Dexter, in reply.
“I am not well,” was the
answer. “The sea air will do me good.”
“We will go to-morrow, then,”
was the unhesitating response. Not made with
interest or feeling; but promptly, as the dictate of
wifely duty.
Just half an hour previous to this
brief interview, Mr. Dexter was sitting in one of
the parlors, and near him were two men, strangers,
in conversation. The utterance by one of them
of his wife’s name, caused him to be on the
instant all attention.
“She’s charming!” was the response.
“One of the most fascinating
women I have ever met! and my observation, as you
know, is not limited. She would produce a sensation
in Paris.”
“Is she a young widow?”
“No—unfortunately.”
“Who, or what is her husband?” was asked.
“A rich nobody, I’m told.”
“Ah! He has taste.”
“Taste in beautiful women, at least,”
was the rejoinder.
“Is he here?”
“I believe so. He would
hardly trust so precious a jewel as that out of his
sight. They say he is half-maddened by jealousy.”
“And with reason, probably.
Weak men, with brilliant, fashionable wives, have
cause for jealousy. He’s a fool to bring
her right into the very midst of temptation.”
“Can’t help (sic) simelf,
I presume. It might not be prudent to attempt
the caging system.”
A low, chuckling laugh followed.
How the blood did go rushing and seething through
the veins of Leon Dexter!
“I intend to know more of her,”
was continued. “Where do they live?”
“In B—.”
“Ah! I shall be there during the winter.”
“She sees a great deal of company,
I am told. Has weekly or monthly ‘evenings’
at which some of the most intellectual people in the
city may be found.”
“Easy of access, I suppose?”
“No doubt of it.”
Dexter heard no more. On the
next day he started with his wife for Newport.
The journey was a silent one. They had ceased
to converse much when alone. And now there were
reasons why Mr. Dexter felt little inclination to
intrude any common-places upon his wife.
They were passing into the hotel,
on their arrival, when Mr. Dexter, who happened to
be looking at his wife, saw her start, flush, and
then turn pale. It was the work of an instant.
His eyes followed the direction of hers, but failed
to recognize any individual among the group of persons
near them as the one who thus affected her by his
presence. He left her in one of the parlors, while
he made arrangements for rooms. In a few minutes
he returned. She was sitting as he had left her,
seeming scarcely to have stirred during his absence.
Her eyes were on the floor, and when he said, “Come,
Jessie!” she started and looked up at him, in
a confused way.
“Our apartments are ready; come.”
He had to speak a second time before
she seemed to comprehend his meaning. She arose
like one in deep thought, and moved along by her husband’s
side, leaving the parlor, and going up to the rooms
which had been assigned to them. The change in
her countenance and manner was so great, that her
husband could not help remarking upon it.
“Are you not well, Jessie?”
he asked, as she sat down with a weary air.
“Not very well,” she answered—yet
with a certain evasion of tone that repelled inquiry.
Mr. Dexter scanned her countenance
sharply. She lifted her eyes at the moment to
his face, and started slightly at the unusual meaning
she saw therein. A flush betrayed her disturbed
condition; and a succeeding pallor gave signs of unusual
pain.
“Will you see a physician!”
“No—no!” she
answered, quickly; “it was a momentary sickness—but
is passing off now.” She arose as she said
this, and commenced laying aside her travelling garments.
Mr. Dexter sat down, and taking a newspaper from his
pocket, pretended to read; but his jealous eyes looked
over the sheet, and rested with keen scrutiny on the
face of his wife whenever it happened to be turned
towards him. That she scarcely thought of his
presence, was plain from the fact that she did not
once look at him. Suddenly, as if some new thought
had crossed his mind, Mr. Dexter arose, and after making
some slight changes in his dress, left the apartment
and went down stairs. He was evidently in search
of some one; for he passed slowly, and with wary eyes,
along the passages, porticos and parlors. The
result was not satisfactory. He met several acquaintances,
and lingered with each in conversation; but the watchful
searching eyes were never a moment at rest.
The instant Mr. Dexter left the room,
there was a change in his wife. The half indifferent,
almost listless manner gave place to one that expressed
deep struggling emotions. Her bent form became
erect, and she stood for a little while listening
with her eyes upon the door, as if in doubt whether
her husband would not return. After the lapse
of two or three minutes, she walked to the door, and
placing her fingers on the key, turned it, locking
herself in. This done, she retired slowly towards
a lounge by the window, nearly every trace of excitement
gone, and sitting down, was soon so entirely absorbed
in thought as scarcely to show a sign of external life.
It was half an hour from the time
Mr. Dexter left his wife, when he returned. His
hand upon the lock aroused her from the waking dream
into which she had fallen. As she arose, her manner
began to change, and, ere she had reached the door,
the quicker flowing blood was restoring the color
to her cheeks. She had passed through a long and
severe struggle; and woman’s virtue, aided by
woman’s pride and will, had conquered.
Mrs. Dexter spoke to her husband cheerfully
as he came in, and met his steady, searching look
without a sign of confusion. He was at fault.
Yet not deceived.
“Are you better?” he asked.
“Much better,” she replied;
and turning from him, went on with the arrangement
of her toilet, which had been suspended from the period
of her husband’s absence, until his return.
Mr. Dexter passed into their private parlor, adjoining
the bedroom, and remained there until his wife had
finished dressing.
“Shall we go down?” he
inquired, as she came in looking so beautiful in his
eyes that the very sight of her surpassing loveliness
gave him pain. The Fiend was in his heart.
“Not now,” she replied
“I am still fatigued with the day’s travel,
and had rather not see company at present.”
She glanced from the window.
“What a sublimity there is in
the ocean!” she said, with an unusual degree
of interest in her manner, when speaking to her husband.
“I can never become so familiar with its grandeur
and vastness, as to look upon its face without emotion.
You remember Byron’s magnificent apostrophe?—
“‘Roll on, thou deep and dark blue ocean,
roll.’”
And she repeated several of the stanzas
from “Childe Harold,” with an effect that
stirred her husband’s feelings more profoundly
than they had ever been stirred by nature and poetry
before.
“I have read and heard that
splendid passage many times, but never with the meaning
and power which your voice has lent to the poet’s
words,” said Dexter, gazing with admiration upon
his wife.
He sat down beside her, and took her
hand in his. Her eyes wandered to his face, and
lingered there as if she were searching the lineaments
for a sign of something that her heart could take hold
upon and cling to. And it was even so; for she
felt that she needed strength and protection in an
hour of surely coming trial. A feeble sigh and
a drooping of the eyelids attested her disappointment.
And yet as he leaned towards her she did not sit more
erect, but rather suffered her body to incline to
him. He still retained her hand, and she permitted
him to toy with it, even slightly returning the pressure
he gave.
“You shall be my teacher in
the love of nature.” He spoke with a glow
of true feeling. “The lesson of this evening
I shall never forget. Old ocean will always wear
a different aspect in my eyes.”
“Nature,” replied Mrs.
Dexter, “is not a mere dead symbol.—It
is something more—an outbirth from loving
principles—the body of a creating soul.
The sea, upon whose restless surface we are gazing,
is something more than a briny fluid, bearing ships
upon its bosom—something more than a mirror
for the arching heavens—something more
than a symbol of immensity and eternity. There
is a truth in nature far deeper, more divine, and of
higher significance.”
She paused, and for some moments her
thoughts seemed floating away into a world, the real
things of which our coarser forms but feebly represent.
“It must be so. I feel
that it is so; yet what to you seems clear as the
sunbeams, hides itself from me in dusky shadows.
But say on Jessie. Your words are pleasant to
my ears.”
Mrs. Dexter seemed a little surprised
at this language, for she turned her eyes from the
sea to his face, and looked at him with a questioning
gaze for some moments.
“This world is not the real
world,” she said, speaking earnestly and gazing
at him intently to see how far his thought reflected
hers.
“Is not this real?” Dexter
asked, raising the hand of his wife and looking down
upon it. “I call it a real hand.”
“And I,” said Mrs. Dexter,
smiling, “call it only the appearance of a hand;
it is the real hand that vitalizes and gives it power.
This will decay—this appearance fade—but
the real hand of my spirit will live on, immortal
in its power as the human soul of which it makes a
part.”
“Into what strange labyrinths
your mind is wandering Jessie!” said Mr. Dexter,
a slight shade of disapproval in his voice. “I
am afraid you are losing yourself.”
“Rather say that I have been
lost, and am finding myself in open paths, with the
blue sky instead of forest foliage above me.”
“Your language is a myth, Jessie.
I never heard of your being lost. To me you have
been ever present, walking in the sunlight, a divine
reality. Not the mere appearance of a woman; but
a real woman, and my wife. Pray do not
lose yourself now! Do not recede from an actual
flesh and blood existence into some world of dim philosophy
whither I cannot go. I am not ready for your
translation.”
Mr. Dexter was half playful, half
serious. His reply disappointed his wife.
Her manner, warmer than usual, took on a portion of
its old reserve. But she went on speaking.
“The immortal soul, spiritual
in its essence, yet organized in all its minutest
parts—cannot attain its full stature unless
it receives immortal food. The aliments of mere
sensual life are for the body, and the mind’s
lowest constituents of being; and they who are content
to feed on husks must sort with the common herd.
I have higher aspirations, my husband! I see
within and above the animal and sensuous a real world
of truth and goodness, where, and where only, the
soul’s immortal desires can be satisfied.
With the key in my hand shall I not enter? The
common air is too thick for me. I must perish
or rise into purer atmospheres.”
Mrs. Dexter paused, conscious that
her husband did not appreciate her meanings.
He was listening intently, and striving apparently
after them; but to him only the things of sense were
real; and he was not able to comprehend how lasting
pleasure was to flow from the intellectual and spiritual.
He did not answer, and she lapsed into silence; all
the fine enthusiasm that had filled her countenance
so full of a living beauty giving place to a cold,
calm exterior. She had hoped to quicken her husband’s
sluggish perceptions, and to create in his mind an
incipient love for the pure and beautiful things after
which her own mind was beginning to aspire.
In her intercourse with refined and
intellectual persons, Mrs. Dexter had made the acquaintance
of a lady named Mrs. De Lisle. Her residence
was not far from Mrs. Dexter’s and they met often
for pleasant and profitable conversation. In
Mrs. De Lisle, Mrs. Dexter found a woman of not only
superior attainments, but one possessing great purity
of mind, and a high religious sense of duty. What
struck her in the very beginning was a new mode of
weighing human actions, and a quiet looking beneath
the surface of things, and estimating all she saw
by the quality within instead of by the appearance
without. From the first, Mrs. Dexter was strongly
attracted by this lady; and it was a little remarkable
that her husband was as strongly repelled. He
did not like her; and often spoke of her sneeringly
as using an unknown tongue. His wife contended
with him slightly at first in regard to Mrs. De Lisle;
but soon ceased to notice his captious remarks.
In Mrs. De Lisle, the struggling and
suffering young creature had found a true friend—not
true in the sense of a weakly, sympathizing friend,
but more really true; one who could lift her soul up
into purer regions, and help it to acquire strength
for duty.
There was another lady named Mrs.
Anthony who had insinuated herself into the good opinion
of Mrs. Dexter, and partially, also, into her confidence.
It does not take a quick-sighted woman
long to comprehend the true marital standing of the
friend in whom she feels an interest. Both Mrs.
De Lisle and Mrs. Anthony soon discovered that no love
was in the heart of Mrs. Dexter, and that consequently,
no interior marriage existed. They saw also that
Mr. Dexter was inferior, selfish, captious at times,
and kept his wife always under surveillance, as if
afraid of her constancy. The different conduct
of the ladies, touching this relation of Mrs. Dexter
to her husband, was in marked contrast. While
Mrs. De Lisle never approached the subject in a way
to invite communication, Mrs. Anthony, in the most
adroit and insinuating manner, almost compelled a certain
degree of confidence—or at least admission
that there was not and never could be, any interior
conjunction between herself and husband.
Mrs. Anthony was a highly intellectual
and cultivated woman, with fascinating manners, a
strong will, and singularly fine conversational powers.
She usually exercised a controlling influence over
all with whom she associated. Happy it was for
Mrs. Dexter that a friend like Mrs. De Lisle came
to her in the right time, and filled her mind with
right principles for her own pure instincts to rest
upon as an immovable foundation.
An hour spent in company with Mrs.
Anthony always left Mrs. Dexter in a state of disquietude,
and suffering from a sense of restriction and wrong.
A feeling of alienation from her husband ever accompanied
this state, and her spirit beat itself about, striking
against the bars of conventional usage, until the
bruised wings quivered with pain. But an hour
spent with Mrs. De Lisle left her in a very different
state. True thoughts were stirred, and the soul
lifted upwards into regions of light and beauty.
There was no grovelling about the earth, no fanning
of selfish fires into smoky flames, no probing of
half-closed wounds until the soul writhed in a new-born
anguish—but instead, hopeful words, lessons
of duty, and the introduction of an ennobling spiritual
philosophy, that gave strength and tranquillity for
the present, and promised the soul’s highest
fruition in the surely coming future.
Both Mrs. De Lisle and Mrs. Anthony
were at Saratoga. The announcement of Mrs. Dexter
that she was going to leave for Newport so suddenly
surprised them both, as it had been understood that
she was to remain for some time longer.
“My husband wishes to visit
Newport now,” was the answer of Mrs. Dexter
to the surprised exclamation of Mrs. Anthony.
“Tell him that you wish to remain
here,” replied Mrs. Anthony.
“He is not well, and thinks
the sea air will do him good.”
“Not well! I met him an
hour ago, and never saw him looking better in my life.
Do you believe him?”
“Why not?” asked Mrs. Dexter.
Her friend laughed lightly, and then murmured—
“Simpleton! He’s
only jealous, and wants to get you away from your
admirers. Don’t go.”
Mrs. Dexter laughed with affected indifference, but
her color rose.
“You wrong him,” she said.
“Not I,” was answered.
“The signs are too apparent. I am a close
observer, my dear Mrs. Dexter, and know the meaning
of most things that happen to fall within the range
of my observation. Your husband is jealous.
The next move will be to shut you up in your chamber,
and set a guard before the house. Now if you will
take my advice, you’ll say to this unreasonable
lord and master of yours, ’Please to wait, sir,
until I am ready to leave Saratoga. It doesn’t
suit me to do so just now. If you need the sea,
run away to Newport and get a dash of old ocean.
I require Congress water a little longer.’
That’s the way to talk, my little lady.
But don’t for Heaven’s sake begin to humor
his capricious fancies. If you do, it’s
all over.”
Mrs. De Lisle was present, but made
no remark. Mrs. Dexter parried her friend’s
admonition with playful words.
“Will you come to my room when
disengaged?” said the former, as she rose to
leave the parlor where they had been sitting.
“I will.”
Mrs. De Lisle withdrew.
“You’ll get a sermon on
obedience to husbands,” said Mrs. Anthony, tossing
her head and smiling a pretty, half sarcastic smile.
“I’ve one great objection to our friend.”
“What is it?” inquired Mrs. Dexter.
“She’s too proper.”
“She’s good,” said Mrs. Dexter.
“I’ll grant that; but
then she’s too good for me. I like a little
wickedness sometimes. It’s spicy, and gives
a flavor to character.”
Mrs. Anthony laughed one of her musical
laughs. But growing serious in a moment, she
said—
“Now, don’t let her persuade
you to humor that capricious husband of yours.
You are something more than an appendage to the man.
God gave you mind and heart, and created you an independent
being. And a man is nothing superior to this,
that he should attempt to lord it over his equal.
I have many times watched this most cruel and exacting
of all tyrannies, and have yet to see the case where
the yielding wife could ever yield enough. Take
counsel in time, my friend. Successful resistance
now, will cost but a trifling effort.”
Mrs. Dexter neither accepted nor repelled
the advice; but her countenance showed that the remarks
of Mrs. Anthony gave no very pleasant hue to her thoughts.
“Excuse me,” she said
rising, “I must see Mrs. De Lisle.”
Mrs. Anthony raised her finger, and
gave Mrs. Dexter a warning look, as she uttered the
words—
“Don’t forget.”
“I won’t,” was answered.
Mrs. De Lisle received her with a serious countenance.
“You go to Newport in the morning?”
she spoke, half-questioning and half in doubt.
“Yes.”
The countenance of Mrs. De Lisle brightened.
“I thought,” she said, after a pause,
“that I knew you.”
She stopped, as if in doubt whether to go on.
Mrs. Dexter looked into her face a moment.
“You understand me?” Mrs. De Lisle added.
“I do.”
Mrs. Dexter betrayed unusual emotion.
“Forgive me,” said her
friend, “if I have ventured on too sacred ground.
You know how deeply I am interested in you.”
Tears filled the eyes of Mrs. Dexter;
her lips quivered; every muscle of her face betrayed
an inward struggle.
“Dear friend!” Mrs. De
Lisle reached out her hands, and Mrs. Dexter leaned
forward against her, hiding her face upon her breast.
And now strong spasms thrilled her frame; and in weakness
she wept—wept a long, long time. Nature
had her way. But emotion spent itself, and a
deep calm followed.
“Dear, patient, much-enduring, true-hearted
friend!”
Mrs. De Lisle spoke almost in a whisper,
her lips, close to the ear of Mrs. Dexter. The
words, or at least some of them, had the effect to
rouse the latter from her half lethargic condition.
Lifting her face from the bosom of her friend, she
looked up and said—
Patient? Much enduring?
“Is it not so? God give
you wisdom, hope, triumph! I have looked into
your heart many times, Mrs. Dexter. Not curiously,
not as a study, not to see how well you could hide
from common eyes its hidden anguish, but in deep and
loving compassion, and with a strong desire to help
and counsel. Will you admit me to a more sacred
friendship?”
“Oh, yes! Gladly!
Thankfully!” replied Mrs. Dexter. “How
many, many times have I desired to open my heart to
you; but dared not. Now, if you have its secret,
gained by no purposed act of mine, I will accept the
aid and counsel.”
“You do not love,” said
Mrs. De Lisle—not in strong, emphatic utterance—not
even calmly—but in a low, almost reluctant
voice.
“I am capable of the deepest love,” was
answered.
“I know it.”
“What then?” Mrs. Dexter spoke with some
eagerness.
“You are a wife.”
“I am,” with coldness.
By your own consent?”
“It was extorted. But no
matter. I accepted my present relation; and I
mean to abide the contract. Oh, my friend! you
know not the pain I feel in thus speaking, even to
you. This is a subject over which I drew the
veil of what I thought to be eternal silence.
You have pushed it aside—not roughly, not
with idle curiosity, but as a loving friend and counsellor.
And now if you can impart strength or comfort, do
so; for both are needed.”
“The language of Mrs. Anthony pained me,”
said Mrs. De Lisle.
“Not more than it pained me,” was the
simple answer.
“And yet, Mrs. Dexter, though
I observed you closely, I did not see the indignant
flush on your face, that I had hoped to see mantling
there.”
“It was a simple schooling of
the exterior. I felt that she was venturing on
improper ground; but I did not care to let my real
sentiments appear. Mrs. Anthony lacks delicacy
in some things.”
“Her remarks I regarded as an
outrage. But seriously, Mrs. Dexter, is your
husband so much inclined to jealousy?”
“I am afraid so.”
“Do you think his purpose to
leave Saratoga in the morning, springs from this cause?”
“I am not aware of any circumstance
that should give rise to sudden apprehension in his
mind. There is no one that I have remarked as
offering me particular attentions. I am here,
and cannot help the fact that gentlemen of superior
taste, education, and high mental accomplishments,
seem pleased with my society. I like to meet such
persons—I enjoy the intercourse of mind
with mind. It is the only compensating life I
have. In it I forget for a little while my heart’s
desolation. In all that it is possible for me
to be true to my husband, I am true; and I pray always
that God will give me strength to endure even unto
the end. His fears wrong me! There is not
one of the scores of attractive men who crowd around
me in public, who has the power, by look, or word,
or action, to stir my heart with even the lightest
throb of tender feeling. I have locked the door,
and the key is hidden.”
Mrs. De Lisle did not answer, for some time.
“Your high sense of honor, pure
heart, and womanly perceptions, are guiding you right,
I see!” she then remarked; “the ordeal
is terrible, but you will pass through unscathed.”
“I trust so!” was murmured
in a sad voice; “I trust to keep my garments
unspotted. Without blame, or suspicion of wrong,
I cannot hope to move onward in my difficult way.
Nor can I always hope to be patient under captious
treatment, and intimations of unfaithfulness.
The last will doubtless come; for when the fiend jealousy
has enthroned itself in a man’s heart, the most
common-place actions may be construed into guilty
concessions. All this will be deeply humiliating;
and I know myself well enough to apprehend occasional
indignant reactions, or cool defiances. I possess
a high, proud spirit, which, if fairly aroused, is
certain to lead me into stubborn resistance.
So far I have managed to hold this spirit in abeyance;
but if matters progress as they have begun, the climax
of endurance will ere long be reached.”
“Great circumspection on your
part will be needed,” said Mrs. De Lisle.
“Remember always, your obligations as a wife.
In consenting to enter into the most solemn human
compact that is ever made, you assumed a position
that gave you power over the happiness of another.
If, as I gather from some things you have said, you
went to the altar under constraint, an unloving bride,
so much the more binding on you are the promises then
made to seek your husband’s happiness—even
at the sacrifice of your own. In that act you
wronged him—wronged him as no woman has
a right to wrong any man, and you can never do enough
by way of reparation.”
“I was wronged,” said
Mrs. Dexter, her glance brightening, and a warmth,
like indignation, in her voice; “for I was dragged
to that marriage-altar against my will, and almost
under protest. Mr. Dexter knew that my heart
was not his.”
“You were a free woman!” replied Mrs.
De Lisle.
“I was not free,” Mrs. Dexter answered.
“Not free? Who or what constrained you
to such an act?”
“My honor. In a moment
of weakness, and under the fascination of a strong
masculine will, I plighted faith with Mr. Dexter.
He knew at the time that I did not love him as a woman
should love the man she consents to marry. He
knew that he was extorting an unwilling consent.
And just so far he took an unmanly advantage of a weak
young girl. But the contract once made, truth
and honor required its fulfillment. At least,
so said my aunt, to whom alone I confided my secret;
and so said my stern convictions of duty.”
“So far from that,” replied
Mrs. De Lisle, “truth and honor required its
non-fulfillment; for neither in truth nor in honor,
could you take the marriage vows.”
The directness with which Mrs. De
Lisle stated this position of the case, startled her
auditor.
“Is it not so?” was calmly
asked. “You are too much in the habit of
looking below the surface of things, to regard the
formula of marriage as an unmeaning array of words.
In their full signification, you could not utter the
sentences you were required to speak—how
then, as regarding truth and honor, could you pronounce
them in that act of your life which, of all others,
should have been most without guile? I would
have torn all such extorted promises into a thousand
tatters, and scattered them to the winds! The
dishonor of breaking them were nothing to the wrong
of fulfillment. Witness your unhappy lives!”
“Would to heaven you had been
the friend of my girlhood!”
It was all the reply Mrs. Dexter made,
as she bowed her head, like one pressed down by a
heavy burden.
“You will now comprehend, more
clearly than before,” said Mrs. De Lisle, “your
present duty to your husband. He thought that
he was gaining a wife, and you, in wedding him promised
to him to be a wife—promised with a deep
conviction in your soul that the words were empty
utterances. The case is a sad one, viewed in any
aspect; but pardon me for saying, that you were most
to blame. He was an ardent lover, whom you had
fascinated; a man of superficial character, and not
competent, at the time, to weigh the consequences
of an act he was so eager to precipitate. To possess,
he imagined was to enjoy. But you were better
versed in the heart’s lore, and knew he would
wake up, ere many moons had passed, to the sad discovery
that what he had wooed as substance was only a cheating
shadow. And he is waking up. Every day he
is becoming more and more clearly convinced that you
do not love him, and can never be to him the wife
he had fondly hoped to gain. Have you not laid
upon yourself a binding obligation? Is it a light
thing so to mar the whole life of man? Your duty
is plain, Mrs. Dexter. Yield all to him you can,
and put on towards him always the sunniest aspects
and gentlest semblances of your character. If
he is capricious, humor him; if suspicious, act with
all promptness in removing suspicion to the extent
of your power. Make soft the links of the chain
that binds you together, with downy coverings.
Truth, honor, duty, religion, all require this.”
“Dear friend!” said Mrs.
Dexter, grasping the hand of Mrs. De Lisle, “you
have lifted me out of a thick atmosphere, through which
my eyes saw everything in an uncertain light, up into
a clear seeing region. Yes, truth, honor, duty,
religion, all speak to my convictions; and with all
the truth that in me lieth, will I obey their voice.
But love is impossible, and its semblance in me is
so faint that my husband cannot see the likeness.
There lies the difficulty. He wants a fond, tender,
loving wife—a pet and a plaything.
These he can never find in me; for, Heaven help me!
Mrs. De Lisle, his sphere grows more and more repulsive
every day, and I shudder sometimes at the thought
of unmitigated disgust!”
“Do your best, my friend,”
was the answer of of Mrs. De Lisle. “Fill,
to the utmost of your ability, all your wifely relations,
and seek to develop in your husband those higher qualities
of thought and feeling to which your spirit can attach
itself. And above all, do not listen to such
erroneous counsels as Mrs. Anthony gave just now.
If followed they will surely produce a harvest of misery.”
“Thanks, good counsellor!
I will heed your words. They come in the right
time, and strengthen my better purposes,” said
Mrs. Dexter. “To-morrow I shall leave with
my husband for Newport, and he shall see in me no
signs of reluctance. Nor do I care, except to
leave your company. I will find as much to keep
my thoughts busy at Newport as here.”