8. The voyage.
The Picton boat was due to leave at
half-past eleven. It was a beautiful night,
mild, starry, only when they got out of the cab and
started to walk down the Old Wharf that jutted out
into the harbour, a faint wind blowing off the water
ruffled under Fenella’s hat, and she put up her
hand to keep it on. It was dark on the Old Wharf,
very dark; the wool sheds, the cattle trucks, the
cranes standing up so high, the little squat railway
engine, all seemed carved out of solid darkness.
Here and there on a rounded wood-pile, that was
like the stalk of a huge black mushroom, there hung
a lantern, but it seemed afraid to unfurl its timid,
quivering light in all that blackness; it burned softly,
as if for itself.
Fenella’s father pushed on with
quick, nervous strides. Beside him her grandma
bustled along in her crackling black ulster; they went
so fast that she had now and again to give an undignified
little skip to keep up with them. As well as
her luggage strapped into a neat sausage, Fenella carried
clasped to her her grandma’s umbrella, and the
handle, which was a swan’s head, kept giving
her shoulder a sharp little peck as if it too wanted
her to hurry…Men, their caps pulled down, their
collars turned up, swung by; a few women all muffled
scurried along; and one tiny boy, only his little
black arms and legs showing out of a white woolly shawl,
was jerked along angrily between his father and mother;
he looked like a baby fly that had fallen into the
cream.
Then suddenly, so suddenly that Fenella
and her grandma both leapt, there sounded from behind
the largest wool shed, that had a trail of smoke hanging
over it, “Mia-oo-oo-O-O!”
“First whistle,” said
her father briefly, and at that moment they came in
sight of the Picton boat. Lying beside the dark
wharf, all strung, all beaded with round golden lights,
the Picton boat looked as if she was more ready to
sail among stars than out into the cold sea.
People pressed along the gangway. First went
her grandma, then her father, then Fenella. There
was a high step down on to the deck, and an old sailor
in a jersey standing by gave her his dry, hard hand.
They were there; they stepped out of the way of the
hurrying people, and standing under a little iron stairway
that led to the upper deck they began to say good-bye.
“There, mother, there’s
your luggage!” said Fenella’s father, giving
grandma another strapped-up sausage.
“Thank you, Frank.”
“And you’ve got your cabin tickets safe?”
“Yes, dear.”
“And your other tickets?”
Grandma felt for them inside her glove and showed
him the tips.
“That’s right.”
He sounded stern, but Fenella, eagerly
watching him, saw that he looked tired and sad.
“Mia-oo-oo-O-O!” The second whistle blared
just above their heads, and a voice like a cry shouted,
“Any more for the gangway?”
“You’ll give my love to
father,” Fenella saw her father’s lips
say. And her grandma, very agitated, answered,
“Of course I will, dear. Go now.
You’ll be left. Go now, Frank. Go
now.”
“It’s all right, mother.
I’ve got another three minutes.”
To her surprise Fenella saw her father take off his
hat. He clasped grandma in his arms and pressed
her to him. “God bless you, mother!”
she heard him say.
And grandma put her hand, with the
black thread glove that was worn through on her ring
finger, against his cheek, and she sobbed, “God
bless you, my own brave son!”
This was so awful that Fenella quickly
turned her back on them, swallowed once, twice, and
frowned terribly at a little green star on a mast head.
But she had to turn round again; her father was going.
“Good-bye, Fenella. Be
a good girl.” His cold, wet moustache brushed
her cheek. But Fenella caught hold of the lapels
of his coat.
“How long am I going to stay?”
she whispered anxiously. He wouldn’t look
at her. He shook her off gently, and gently said,
“We’ll see about that. Here!
Where’s your hand?” He pressed something
into her palm. “Here’s a shilling
in case you should need it.”
A shilling! She must be going
away for ever! “Father!” cried Fenella.
But he was gone. He was the last off the ship.
The sailors put their shoulders to the gangway.
A huge coil of dark rope went flying through the
air and fell “thump” on the wharf.
A bell rang; a whistle shrilled. Silently the
dark wharf began to slip, to slide, to edge away from
them. Now there was a rush of water between.
Fenella strained to see with all her might.
“Was that father turning round?”—or
waving?—or standing alone?—or
walking off by himself? The strip of water grew
broader, darker. Now the Picton boat began to
swing round steady, pointing out to sea. It
was no good looking any longer. There was nothing
to be seen but a few lights, the face of the town
clock hanging in the air, and more lights, little
patches of them, on the dark hills.
The freshening wind tugged at Fenella’s
skirts; she went back to her grandma. To her
relief grandma seemed no longer sad. She had
put the two sausages of luggage one on top of the
other, and she was sitting on them, her hands folded,
her head a little on one side. There was an intent,
bright look on her face. Then Fenella saw that
her lips were moving and guessed that she was praying.
But the old woman gave her a bright nod as if to
say the prayer was nearly over. She unclasped
her hands, sighed, clasped them again, bent forward,
and at last gave herself a soft shake.
“And now, child,” she
said, fingering the bow of her bonnet-strings, “I
think we ought to see about our cabins. Keep
close to me, and mind you don’t slip.”
“Yes, grandma!”
“And be careful the umbrellas
aren’t caught in the stair rail. I saw
a beautiful umbrella broken in half like that on my
way over.”
“Yes, grandma.”
Dark figures of men lounged against
the rails. In the glow of their pipes a nose
shone out, or the peak of a cap, or a pair of surprised-looking
eyebrows. Fenella glanced up. High in the
air, a little figure, his hands thrust in his short
jacket pockets, stood staring out to sea. The
ship rocked ever so little, and she thought the stars
rocked too. And now a pale steward in a linen
coat, holding a tray high in the palm of his hand,
stepped out of a lighted doorway and skimmed past them.
They went through that doorway. Carefully over
the high brass-bound step on to the rubber mat and
then down such a terribly steep flight of stairs that
grandma had to put both feet on each step, and Fenella
clutched the clammy brass rail and forgot all about
the swan-necked umbrella.
At the bottom grandma stopped; Fenella
was rather afraid she was going to pray again.
But no, it was only to get out the cabin tickets.
They were in the saloon. It was glaring bright
and stifling; the air smelled of paint and burnt chop-bones
and indiarubber. Fenella wished her grandma
would go on, but the old woman was not to be hurried.
An immense basket of ham sandwiches caught her eye.
She went up to them and touched the top one delicately
with her finger.
“How much are the sandwiches?” she asked.
“Tuppence!” bawled a rude steward, slamming
down a knife and fork.
Grandma could hardly believe it.
“Twopence each?” she asked.
“That’s right,” said the steward,
and he winked at his companion.
Grandma made a small, astonished face.
Then she whispered primly to Fenella. “What
wickedness!” And they sailed out at the further
door and along a passage that had cabins on either
side. Such a very nice stewardess came to meet
them. She was dressed all in blue, and her collar
and cuffs were fastened with large brass buttons.
She seemed to know grandma well.
“Well, Mrs. Crane,” said
she, unlocking their washstand. “We’ve
got you back again. It’s not often you
give yourself a cabin.”
“No,” said grandma. “But this
time my dear son’s thoughtfulness—”
“I hope—” began
the stewardess. Then she turned round and took
a long, mournful look at grandma’s blackness
and at Fenella’s black coat and skirt, black
blouse, and hat with a crape rose.
Grandma nodded. “It was God’s will,”
said she.
The stewardess shut her lips and,
taking a deep breath, she seemed to expand.
“What I always say is,”
she said, as though it was her own discovery, “sooner
or later each of us has to go, and that’s a certingty.”
She paused. “Now, can I bring you anything,
Mrs Crane? A cup of tea? I know it’s
no good offering you a little something to keep the
cold out.”
Grandma shook her head. “Nothing,
thank you. We’ve got a few wine biscuits,
and Fenella has a very nice banana.”
“Then I’ll give you a
look later on,” said the stewardess, and she
went out, shutting the door.
What a very small cabin it was!
It was like being shut up in a box with grandma.
The dark round eye above the washstand gleamed at
them dully. Fenella felt shy. She stood
against the door, still clasping her luggage and the
umbrella. Were they going to get undressed in
here? Already her grandma had taken off her
bonnet, and, rolling up the strings, she fixed each
with a pin to the lining before she hung the bonnet
up. Her white hair shone like silk; the little
bun at the back was covered with a black net.
Fenella hardly ever saw her grandma with her head
uncovered; she looked strange.
“I shall put on the woollen
fascinator your dear mother crocheted for me,”
said grandma, and, unstrapping the sausage, she took
it out and wound it round her head; the fringe of
grey bobbles danced at her eyebrows as she smiled
tenderly and mournfully at Fenella. Then she
undid her bodice, and something under that, and something
else underneath that. Then there seemed a short,
sharp tussle, and grandma flushed faintly. Snip!
Snap! She had undone her stays. She breathed
a sigh of relief, and sitting on the plush couch,
she slowly and carefully pulled off her elastic-sided
boots and stood them side by side.
By the time Fenella had taken off
her coat and skirt and put on her flannel dressing-gown
grandma was quite ready.
“Must I take off my boots, grandma? They’re
lace.”
Grandma gave them a moment’s
deep consideration. “You’d feel a
great deal more comfortable if you did, child,”
said she. She kissed Fenella. “Don’t
forget to say your prayers. Our dear Lord is
with us when we are at sea even more than when we
are on dry land. And because I am an experienced
traveller,” said grandma briskly, “I shall
take the upper berth.”
“But, grandma, however will you get up there?”
Three little spider-like steps were
all Fenella saw. The old woman gave a small
silent laugh before she mounted them nimbly, and she
peered over the high bunk at the astonished Fenella.
“You didn’t think your
grandma could do that, did you?” said she.
And as she sank back Fenella heard her light laugh
again.
The hard square of brown soap would
not lather, and the water in the bottle was like a
kind of blue jelly. How hard it was, too, to
turn down those stiff sheets; you simply had to tear
your way in. If everything had been different,
Fenella might have got the giggles…At last she was
inside, and while she lay there panting, there sounded
from above a long, soft whispering, as though some
one was gently, gently rustling among tissue paper
to find something. It was grandma saying her
prayers…
A long time passed. Then the
stewardess came in; she trod softly and leaned her
hand on grandma’s bunk.
“We’re just entering the Straits,”
she said.
“Oh!”
“It’s a fine night, but we’re rather
empty. We may pitch a little.”
And indeed at that moment the Picton
Boat rose and rose and hung in the air just long enough
to give a shiver before she swung down again, and there
was the sound of heavy water slapping against her sides.
Fenella remembered she had left the swan-necked umbrella
standing up on the little couch. If it fell
over, would it break? But grandma remembered
too, at the same time.
“I wonder if you’d mind,
stewardess, laying down my umbrella,” she whispered.
“Not at all, Mrs. Crane.”
And the stewardess, coming back to grandma, breathed,
“Your little granddaughter’s in such a
beautiful sleep.”
“God be praised for that!” said grandma.
“Poor little motherless mite!”
said the stewardess. And grandma was still telling
the stewardess all about what happened when Fenella
fell asleep.
But she hadn’t been asleep long
enough to dream before she woke up again to see something
waving in the air above her head. What was it?
What could it be? It was a small grey foot.
Now another joined it. They seemed to be feeling
about for something; there came a sigh.
“I’m awake, grandma,” said Fenella.
“Oh, dear, am I near the ladder?”
asked grandma. “I thought it was this
end.”
“No, grandma, it’s the
other. I’ll put your foot on it.
Are we there?” asked Fenella.
“In the harbour,” said
grandma. “We must get up, child.
You’d better have a biscuit to steady yourself
before you move.”
But Fenella had hopped out of her
bunk. The lamp was still burning, but night
was over, and it was cold. Peering through that
round eye she could see far off some rocks.
Now they were scattered over with foam; now a gull
flipped by; and now there came a long piece of real
land.
“It’s land, grandma,”
said Fenella, wonderingly, as though they had been
at sea for weeks together. She hugged herself;
she stood on one leg and rubbed it with the toes of
the other foot; she was trembling. Oh, it had
all been so sad lately. Was it going to change?
But all her grandma said was, “Make haste,
child. I should leave your nice banana for the
stewardess as you haven’t eaten it.”
And Fenella put on her black clothes again and a
button sprang off one of her gloves and rolled to where
she couldn’t reach it. They went up on
deck.
But if it had been cold in the cabin,
on deck it was like ice. The sun was not up
yet, but the stars were dim, and the cold pale sky
was the same colour as the cold pale sea. On
the land a white mist rose and fell. Now they
could see quite plainly dark bush. Even the shapes
of the umbrella ferns showed, and those strange silvery
withered trees that are like skeletons…Now they
could see the landing-stage and some little houses,
pale too, clustered together, like shells on the lid
of a box. The other passengers tramped up and
down, but more slowly than they had the night before,
and they looked gloomy.
And now the landing-stage came out
to meet them. Slowly it swam towards the Picton
boat, and a man holding a coil of rope, and a cart
with a small drooping horse and another man sitting
on the step, came too.
“It’s Mr. Penreddy, Fenella,
come for us,” said grandma. She sounded
pleased. Her white waxen cheeks were blue with
cold, her chin trembled, and she had to keep wiping
her eyes and her little pink nose.
“You’ve got my—”
“Yes, grandma.” Fenella showed it
to her.
The rope came flying through the air,
and “smack” it fell on to the deck.
The gangway was lowered. Again Fenella followed
her grandma on to the wharf over to the little cart,
and a moment later they were bowling away. The
hooves of the little horse drummed over the wooden
piles, then sank softly into the sandy road.
Not a soul was to be seen; there was not even a feather
of smoke. The mist rose and fell and the sea
still sounded asleep as slowly it turned on the beach.
“I seen Mr. Crane yestiddy,”
said Mr. Penreddy. “He looked himself then.
Missus knocked him up a batch of scones last week.”
And now the little horse pulled up
before one of the shell-like houses. They got
down. Fenella put her hand on the gate, and the
big, trembling dew-drops soaked through her glove-tips.
Up a little path of round white pebbles they went,
with drenched sleeping flowers on either side.
Grandma’s delicate white picotees were so heavy
with dew that they were fallen, but their sweet smell
was part of the cold morning. The blinds were
down in the little house; they mounted the steps on
to the veranda. A pair of old bluchers was on
one side of the door, and a large red watering-can
on the other.
“Tut! tut! Your grandpa,”
said grandma. She turned the handle. Not
a sound. She called, “Walter!”
And immediately a deep voice that sounded half stifled
called back, “Is that you, Mary?”
“Wait, dear,” said grandma.
“Go in there.” She pushed Fenella
gently into a small dusky sitting-room.
On the table a white cat, that had
been folded up like a camel, rose, stretched itself,
yawned, and then sprang on to the tips of its toes.
Fenella buried one cold little hand in the white,
warm fur, and smiled timidly while she stroked and
listened to grandma’s gentle voice and the rolling
tones of grandpa.
A door creaked. “Come
in, dear.” The old woman beckoned, Fenella
followed. There, lying to one side on an immense
bed, lay grandpa. Just his head with a white
tuft and his rosy face and long silver beard showed
over the quilt. He was like a very old wide-awake
bird.
“Well, my girl!” said
grandpa. “Give us a kiss!” Fenella
kissed him. “Ugh!” said grandpa.
“Her little nose is as cold as a button.
What’s that she’s holding? Her
grandma’s umbrella?”
Fenella smiled again, and crooked
the swan neck over the bed-rail. Above the bed
there was a big text in a deep black frame:—
“Lost! One Golden Hour
Set with Sixty Diamond Minutes.
No Reward Is Offered
For It Is Gone For Ever!”
“Yer grandma painted that,”
said grandpa. And he ruffled his white tuft
and looked at Fenella so merrily she almost thought
he winked at her.