12. The stranger
It seemed to the little crowd on the
wharf that she was never going to move again.
There she lay, immense, motionless on the grey crinkled
water, a loop of smoke above her, an immense flock
of gulls screaming and diving after the galley droppings
at the stern. You could just see little couples
parading—little flies walking up and down
the dish on the grey crinkled tablecloth. Other
flies clustered and swarmed at the edge. Now
there was a gleam of white on the lower deck—the
cook’s apron or the stewardess perhaps.
Now a tiny black spider raced up the ladder on to
the bridge.
In the front of the crowd a strong-looking,
middle-aged man, dressed very well, very snugly in
a grey overcoat, grey silk scarf, thick gloves and
dark felt hat, marched up and down, twirling his folded
umbrella. He seemed to be the leader of the
little crowd on the wharf and at the same time to
keep them together. He was something between
the sheep-dog and the shepherd.
But what a fool—what a
fool he had been not to bring any glasses! There
wasn’t a pair of glasses between the whole lot
of them.
“Curious thing, Mr. Scott, that
none of us thought of glasses. We might have
been able to stir ’em up a bit. We might
have managed a little signalling. ‘Don’t
hesitate to land. Natives harmless.’
Or: ’A welcome awaits you. All
is forgiven.’ What? Eh?”
Mr. Hammond’s quick, eager glance,
so nervous and yet so friendly and confiding, took
in everybody on the wharf, roped in even those old
chaps lounging against the gangways. They knew,
every man-jack of them, that Mrs. Hammond was on that
boat, and that he was so tremendously excited it never
entered his head not to believe that this marvellous
fact meant something to them too. It warmed
his heart towards them. They were, he decided,
as decent a crowd of people—Those old chaps
over by the gangways, too—fine, solid old
chaps. What chests—by Jove!
And he squared his own, plunged his thick-gloved hands
into his pockets, rocked from heel to toe.
“Yes, my wife’s been in
Europe for the last ten months. On a visit to
our eldest girl, who was married last year.
I brought her up here, as far as Salisbury, myself.
So I thought I’d better come and fetch her back.
Yes, yes, yes.” The shrewd grey eyes
narrowed again and searched anxiously, quickly, the
motionless liner. Again his overcoat was unbuttoned.
Out came the thin, butter-yellow watch again, and
for the twentieth—fiftieth—
hundredth time he made the calculation.
“Let me see now. It was
two fifteen when the doctor’s launch went off.
Two fifteen. It is now exactly twenty-eight
minutes past four. That is to say, the doctor’s
been gone two hours and thirteen minutes. Two
hours and thirteen minutes! Whee-ooh!”
He gave a queer little half-whistle and snapped his
watch to again. “But I think we should
have been told if there was anything up—don’t
you, Mr. Gaven?”
“Oh, yes, Mr. Hammond!
I don’t think there’s anything to—anything
to worry about,” said Mr. Gaven, knocking out
his pipe against the heel of his shoe. “At
the same time—”
“Quite so! Quite so!”
cried Mr. Hammond. “Dashed annoying!”
He paced quickly up and down and came back again
to his stand between Mr. and Mrs. Scott and Mr. Gaven.
“It’s getting quite dark, too,”
and he waved his folded umbrella as though the dusk
at least might have had the decency to keep off for
a bit. But the dusk came slowly, spreading like
a slow stain over the water. Little Jean Scott
dragged at her mother’s hand.
“I wan’ my tea, mammy!” she wailed.
“I expect you do,” said
Mr. Hammond. “I expect all these ladies
want their tea.” And his kind, flushed,
almost pitiful glance roped them all in again.
He wondered whether Janey was having a final cup of
tea in the saloon out there. He hoped so; he
thought not. It would be just like her not to
leave the deck. In that case perhaps the deck
steward would bring her up a cup. If he’d
been there he’d have got it for her—somehow.
And for a moment he was on deck, standing over her,
watching her little hand fold round the cup in the
way she had, while she drank the only cup of tea to
be got on board…But now he was back here, and the
Lord only knew when that cursed Captain would stop
hanging about in the stream. He took another
turn, up and down, up and down. He walked as
far as the cab-stand to make sure his driver hadn’t
disappeared; back he swerved again to the little flock
huddled in the shelter of the banana crates.
Little Jean Scott was still wanting her tea.
Poor little beggar! He wished he had a bit
of chocolate on him.
“Here, Jean!” he said.
“Like a lift up?” And easily, gently,
he swung the little girl on to a higher barrel.
The movement of holding her, steadying her, relieved
him wonderfully, lightened his heart.
“Hold on,” he said, keeping an arm round
her.
“Oh, don’t worry about Jean, Mr. Hammond!”
said Mrs. Scott.
“That’s all right, Mrs.
Scott. No trouble. It’s a pleasure.
Jean’s a little pal of mine, aren’t you,
Jean?”
“Yes, Mr. Hammond,” said
Jean, and she ran her finger down the dent of his
felt hat.
But suddenly she caught him by the
ear and gave a loud scream. “Lo-ok, Mr.
Hammond! She’s moving! Look, she’s
coming in!”
By Jove! So she was. At
last! She was slowly, slowly turning round.
A bell sounded far over the water and a great spout
of steam gushed into the air. The gulls rose;
they fluttered away like bits of white paper.
And whether that deep throbbing was her engines or
his heart Mr. Hammond couldn’t say. He
had to nerve himself to bear it, whatever it was.
At that moment old Captain Johnson, the harbour-master,
came striding down the wharf, a leather portfolio
under his arm.
“Jean’ll be all right,”
said Mr. Scott. “I’ll hold her.”
He was just in time. Mr. Hammond had forgotten
about Jean. He sprang away to greet old Captain
Johnson.
“Well, Captain,” the eager,
nervous voice rang out again, “you’ve taken
pity on us at last.”
“It’s no good blaming
me, Mr. Hammond,” wheezed old Captain Johnson,
staring at the liner. “You got Mrs. Hammond
on board, ain’t yer?”
“Yes, yes!” said Hammond,
and he kept by the harbour-master’s side.
“Mrs. Hammond’s there. Hul-lo!
We shan’t be long now!”
With her telephone ring-ringing, the
thrum of her screw filling the air, the big liner
bore down on them, cutting sharp through the dark water
so that big white shavings curled to either side.
Hammond and the harbour-master kept in front of
the rest. Hammond took off his hat; he raked
the decks—they were crammed with passengers;
he waved his hat and bawled a loud, strange “Hul-lo!”
across the water; and then turned round and burst
out laughing and said something—nothing—to
old Captain Johnson.
“Seen her?” asked the harbour-master.
“No, not yet. Steady—wait
a bit!” And suddenly, between two great clumsy
idiots—“Get out of the way there!”
he signed with his umbrella—he saw a hand
raised—a white glove shaking a handkerchief.
Another moment, and— thank God, thank
God!—there she was. There was Janey.
There was Mrs. Hammond, yes, yes, yes—standing
by the rail and smiling and nodding and waving her
handkerchief.
“Well that’s first class—first
class! Well, well, well!” He positively
stamped. Like lightning he drew out his cigar-case
and offered it to old Captain Johnson. “Have
a cigar, Captain! They’re pretty good.
Have a couple! Here”—and he
pressed all the cigars in the case on the harbour-master—“I’ve
a couple of boxes up at the hotel.”
“Thenks, Mr. Hammond!” wheezed old Captain
Johnson.
Hammond stuffed the cigar-case back.
His hands were shaking, but he’d got hold of
himself again. He was able to face Janey.
There she was, leaning on the rail, talking to some
woman and at the same time watching him, ready for
him. It struck him, as the gulf of water closed,
how small she looked on that huge ship. His
heart was wrung with such a spasm that he could have
cried out. How little she looked to have come
all that long way and back by herself! Just
like her, though. Just like Janey. She
had the courage of a—And now the crew had
come forward and parted the passengers; they had lowered
the rails for the gangways.
The voices on shore and the voices
on board flew to greet each other.
“All well?”
“All well.”
“How’s mother?”
“Much better.”
“Hullo, Jean!”
“Hillo, Aun’ Emily!”
“Had a good voyage?”
“Splendid!”
“Shan’t be long now!”
“Not long now.”
The engines stopped. Slowly she edged to the
wharf-side.
“Make way there—make
way—make way!” And the wharf hands
brought the heavy gangways along at a sweeping run.
Hammond signed to Janey to stay where she was.
The old harbour-master stepped forward; he followed.
As to “ladies first,” or any rot like
that, it never entered his head.
“After you, Captain!”
he cried genially. And, treading on the old man’s
heels, he strode up the gangway on to the deck in a
bee-line to Janey, and Janey was clasped in his arms.
“Well, well, well! Yes,
yes! Here we are at last!” he stammered.
It was all he could say. And Janey emerged,
and her cool little voice—the only voice
in the world for him—said,
“Well, darling! Have you been waiting
long?”
No; not long. Or, at any rate,
it didn’t matter. It was over now.
But the point was, he had a cab waiting at the end
of the wharf. Was she ready to go off.
Was her luggage ready? In that case they could
cut off sharp with her cabin luggage and let the rest
go hang until to-morrow. He bent over her and
she looked up with her familiar half-smile. She
was just the same. Not a day changed.
Just as he’d always known her. She laid
her small hand on his sleeve.
“How are the children, John?” she asked.
(Hang the children!) “Perfectly well.
Never better in their lives.”
“Haven’t they sent me letters?”
“Yes, yes—of course!
I’ve left them at the hotel for you to digest
later on.”
“We can’t go quite so
fast,” said she. “I’ve got
people to say good-bye to—and then there’s
the Captain.” As his face fell she gave
his arm a small understanding squeeze. “If
the Captain comes off the bridge I want you to thank
him for having looked after your wife so beautifully.”
Well, he’d got her. If she wanted another
ten minutes—As he gave way she was surrounded.
The whole first-class seemed to want to say good-bye
to Janey.
“Good-bye, dear Mrs. Hammond!
And next time you’re in Sydney I’ll expect
you.”
“Darling Mrs. Hammond!
You won’t forget to write to me, will you?”
“Well, Mrs. Hammond, what this
boat would have been without you!”
It was as plain as a pikestaff that
she was by far the most popular woman on board.
And she took it all—just as usual.
Absolutely composed. Just her little self—just
Janey all over; standing there with her veil thrown
back. Hammond never noticed what his wife had
on. It was all the same to him whatever she
wore. But to-day he did notice that she wore
a black “costume”—didn’t
they call it?—with white frills, trimmings
he supposed they were, at the neck and sleeves.
All this while Janey handed him round.
“John, dear!” And then: “I
want to introduce you to—”
Finally they did escape, and she led
the way to her state-room. To follow Janey down
the passage that she knew so well—that was
so strange to him; to part the green curtains after
her and to step into the cabin that had been hers
gave him exquisite happiness. But—confound
it!—the stewardess was there on the floor,
strapping up the rugs.
“That’s the last, Mrs.
Hammond,” said the stewardess, rising and pulling
down her cuffs.
He was introduced again, and then
Janey and the stewardess disappeared into the passage.
He heard whisperings. She was getting the tipping
business over, he supposed. He sat down on the
striped sofa and took his hat off. There were
the rugs she had taken with her; they looked good as
new. All her luggage looked fresh, perfect.
The labels were written in her beautiful little clear
hand—“Mrs. John Hammond.”
“Mrs. John Hammond!”
He gave a long sigh of content and leaned back, crossing
his arms. The strain was over. He felt
he could have sat there for ever sighing his relief—the
relief at being rid of that horrible tug, pull, grip
on his heart. The danger was over. That
was the feeling. They were on dry land again.
But at that moment Janey’s head came round the
corner.
“Darling—do you mind? I just
want to go and say good-bye to the doctor.”
Hammond started up. “I’ll come with
you.”
“No, no!” she said.
“Don’t bother. I’d rather
not. I’ll not be a minute.”
And before he could answer she was
gone. He had half a mind to run after her; but
instead he sat down again.
Would she really not be long?
What was the time now? Out came the watch;
he stared at nothing. That was rather queer of
Janey, wasn’t it? Why couldn’t she
have told the stewardess to say good-bye for her?
Why did she have to go chasing after the ship’s
doctor? She could have sent a note from the
hotel even if the affair had been urgent. Urgent?
Did it—could it mean that she had been
ill on the voyage—she was keeping something
from him? That was it! He seized his hat.
He was going off to find that fellow and to wring
the truth out of him at all costs. He thought
he’d noticed just something. She was just
a touch too calm—too steady. From
the very first moment—
The curtains rang. Janey was back. He
jumped to his feet.
“Janey, have you been ill on this voyage?
You have!”
“Ill?” Her airy little
voice mocked him. She stepped over the rugs,
and came up close, touched his breast, and looked
up at him.
“Darling,” she said, “don’t
frighten me. Of course I haven’t!
Whatever makes you think I have? Do I look
ill?”
But Hammond didn’t see her.
He only felt that she was looking at him and that
there was no need to worry about anything. She
was here to look after things. It was all right.
Everything was.
The gentle pressure of her hand was
so calming that he put his over hers to hold it there.
And she said:
“Stand still. I want to
look at you. I haven’t seen you yet.
You’ve had your beard beautifully trimmed,
and you look—younger, I think, and decidedly
thinner! Bachelor life agrees with you.”
“Agrees with me!” He
groaned for love and caught her close again.
And again, as always, he had the feeling that he was
holding something that never was quite his—his.
Something too delicate, too precious, that would
fly away once he let go.
“For God’s sake let’s
get off to the hotel so that we can be by ourselves!”
And he rang the bell hard for some one to look sharp
with the luggage.
...
Walking down the wharf together she
took his arm. He had her on his arm again.
And the difference it made to get into the cab after
Janey—to throw the red-and-yellow striped
blanket round them both—to tell the driver
to hurry because neither of them had had any tea.
No more going without his tea or pouring out his
own. She was back. He turned to her, squeezed
her hand, and said gently, teasingly, in the “special”
voice he had for her: “Glad to be home
again, dearie?” She smiled; she didn’t
even bother to answer, but gently she drew his hand
away as they came to the brighter streets.
“We’ve got the best room
in the hotel,” he said. “I wouldn’t
be put off with another. And I asked the chambermaid
to put in a bit of a fire in case you felt chilly.
She’s a nice, attentive girl. And I thought
now we were here we wouldn’t bother to go home
to-morrow, but spend the day looking round and leave
the morning after. Does that suit you?
There’s no hurry, is there? The children
will have you soon enough…I thought a day’s
sight-seeing might make a nice break in your journey—eh,
Janey?”
“Have you taken the tickets for the day after?”
she asked.
“I should think I have!”
He unbuttoned his overcoat and took out his bulging
pocket-book. “Here we are! I reserved
a first-class carriage to Cooktown. There it
is—’Mr. and Mrs. John Hammond.’
I thought we might as well do ourselves comfortably,
and we don’t want other people butting in, do
we? But if you’d like to stop here a bit
longer—?”
“Oh, no!” said Janey quickly.
“Not for the world! The day after to-morrow,
then. And the children—”
But they had reached the hotel.
The manager was standing in the broad, brilliantly-lighted
porch. He came down to greet them. A porter
ran from the hall for their boxes.
“Well, Mr. Arnold, here’s Mrs. Hammond
at last!”
The manager led them through the hall
himself and pressed the elevator-bell. Hammond
knew there were business pals of his sitting at the
little hall tables having a drink before dinner.
But he wasn’t going to risk interruption; he
looked neither to the right nor the left. They
could think what they pleased. If they didn’t
understand, the more fools they— and he
stepped out of the lift, unlocked the door of their
room, and shepherded Janey in. The door shut.
Now, at last, they were alone together. He
turned up the light. The curtains were drawn;
the fire blazed. He flung his hat on to the
huge bed and went towards her.
But—would you believe it!—again
they were interrupted. This time it was the
porter with the luggage. He made two journeys
of it, leaving the door open in between, taking his
time, whistling through his teeth in the corridor.
Hammond paced up and down the room, tearing off his
gloves, tearing off his scarf. Finally he flung
his overcoat on to the bedside.
At last the fool was gone. The
door clicked. Now they were alone. Said
Hammond: “I feel I’ll never have
you to myself again. These cursed people!
Janey”—and he bent his flushed, eager
gaze upon her—“let’s have dinner
up here. If we go down to the restaurant we’ll
be interrupted, and then there’s the confounded
music” (the music he’d praised so highly,
applauded so loudly last night!). “We shan’t
be able to hear each other speak. Let’s
have something up here in front of the fire.
It’s too late for tea. I’ll order
a little supper, shall I? How does that idea
strike you?”
“Do, darling!” said Janey.
“And while you’re away—the
children’s letters—”
“Oh, later on will do!” said Hammond.
“But then we’d get it over,” said
Janey. “And I’d first have time to—”
“Oh, I needn’t go down!”
explained Hammond. “I’ll just ring
and give the order…you don’t want to send
me away, do you?”
Janey shook her head and smiled.
“But you’re thinking of
something else. You’re worrying about something,”
said Hammond. “What is it? Come and
sit here—come and sit on my knee before
the fire.”
“I’ll just unpin my hat,”
said Janey, and she went over to the dressing-table.
“A-ah!” She gave a little cry.
“What is it?”
“Nothing, darling. I’ve
just found the children’s letters. That’s
all right! They will keep. No hurry now!”
She turned to him, clasping them. She tucked
them into her frilled blouse. She cried quickly,
gaily: “Oh, how typical this dressing-table
is of you!”
“Why? What’s the matter with it?”
said Hammond.
“If it were floating in eternity
I should say ‘John!’” laughed Janey,
staring at the big bottle of hair tonic, the wicker
bottle of eau-de-Cologne, the two hair-brushes, and
a dozen new collars tied with pink tape. “Is
this all your luggage?”
“Hang my luggage!” said
Hammond; but all the same he liked being laughed at
by Janey. “Let’s talk. Let’s
get down to things. Tell me”—and
as Janey perched on his knees he leaned back and drew
her into the deep, ugly chair—”tell me you’re
really glad to be back, Janey.”
“Yes, darling, I am glad,” she said.
But just as when he embraced her he
felt she would fly away, so Hammond never knew—never
knew for dead certain that she was as glad as he was.
How could he know? Would he ever know?
Would he always have this craving—this pang like
hunger, somehow, to make Janey so much part of him
that there wasn’t any of her to escape?
He wanted to blot out everybody, everything.
He wished now he’d turned off the light.
That might have brought her nearer. And now
those letters from the children rustled in her blouse.
He could have chucked them into the fire.
“Janey,” he whispered.
“Yes, dear?” She lay
on his breast, but so lightly, so remotely. Their
breathing rose and fell together.
“Janey!”
“What is it?”
“Turn to me,” he whispered.
A slow, deep flush flowed into his forehead.
“Kiss me, Janey! You kiss me!”
It seemed to him there was a tiny
pause—but long enough for him to suffer
torture—before her lips touched his, firmly,
lightly—kissing them as she always kissed
him, as though the kiss—how could he describe
it?—confirmed what they were saying, signed
the contract. But that wasn’t what he
wanted; that wasn’t at all what he thirsted for.
He felt suddenly, horrible tired.
“If you knew,” he said,
opening his eyes, “what it’s been like—waiting
to-day. I thought the boat never would come
in. There we were, hanging about. What
kept you so long?”
She made no answer. She was
looking away from him at the fire. The flames
hurried—hurried over the coals, flickered,
fell.
“Not asleep, are you?”
said Hammond, and he jumped her up and down.
“No,” she said.
And then: “Don’t do that, dear.
No, I was thinking. As a matter of fact,”
she said, “one of the passengers died last night—a
man. That’s what held us up. We
brought him in—I mean, he wasn’t buried
at sea. So, of course, the ship’s doctor
and the shore doctor—”
“What was it?” asked Hammond
uneasily. He hated to hear of death. He
hated this to have happened. It was, in some
queer way, as though he and Janey had met a funeral
on their way to the hotel.
“Oh, it wasn’t anything
in the least infectious!” said Janey. She
was speaking scarcely above her breath. “It
was heart.” A pause. “Poor
fellow!” she said. “Quite young.”
And she watched the fire flicker and fall.
“He died in my arms,” said Janey.
The blow was so sudden that Hammond
thought he would faint. He couldn’t move;
he couldn’t breathe. He felt all his strength
flowing—flowing into the big dark chair,
and the big dark chair held him fast, gripped him,
forced him to bear it.
“What?” he said dully. “What’s
that you say?”
“The end was quite peaceful,”
said the small voice. “He just”—and
Hammond saw her lift her gentle hand—“breathed
his life away at the end.” And her hand
fell.
“Who—else was there?” Hammond
managed to ask.
“Nobody. I was alone with him.”
Ah, my God, what was she saying!
What was she doing to him! This would kill
him! And all the while she spoke:
“I saw the change coming and
I sent the steward for the doctor, but the doctor
was too late. He couldn’t have done anything,
anyway.”
“But—why you, why you?” moaned
Hammond.
At that Janey turned quickly, quickly searched his
face.
“You don’t mind, John,
do you?” she asked. “You don’t—It’s
nothing to do with you and me.”
Somehow or other he managed to shake
some sort of smile at her. Somehow or other
he stammered: “No—go—on,
go on! I want you to tell me.”
“But, John darling—”
“Tell me, Janey!”
“There’s nothing to tell,”
she said, wondering. “He was one of the
first-class passengers. I saw he was very ill
when he came on board…But he seemed to be so much
better until yesterday. He had a severe attack
in the afternoon—excitement—nervousness,
I think, about arriving. And after that he never
recovered.”
“But why didn’t the stewardess—”
“Oh, my dear—the
stewardess!” said Janey. “What would
he have felt? And besides…he might have wanted
to leave a message…to—”
“Didn’t he?” muttered Hammond.
“Didn’t he say anything?”
“No, darling, not a word!”
She shook her head softly. “All the time
I was with him he was too weak…he was too weak even
to move a finger…”
Janey was silent. But her words,
so light, so soft, so chill, seemed to hover in the
air, to rain into his breast like snow.
The fire had gone red. Now it
fell in with a sharp sound and the room was colder.
Cold crept up his arms. The room was huge, immense,
glittering. It filled his whole world.
There was the great blind bed, with his coat flung
across it like some headless man saying his prayers.
There was the luggage, ready to be carried away again,
anywhere, tossed into trains, carted on to boats.
...”He was too weak. He was
too weak to move a finger.” And yet he
died in Janey’s arms. She—who’d
never—never once in all these years—never
on one single solitary occasion—
No; he mustn’t think of it.
Madness lay in thinking of it. No, he wouldn’t
face it. He couldn’t stand it. It
was too much to bear!
And now Janey touched his tie with
her fingers. She pinched the edges of the tie
together.
“You’re not—sorry
I told you, John darling? It hasn’t made
you sad? It hasn’t spoilt our evening—our
being alone together?”
But at that he had to hide his face.
He put his face into her bosom and his arms enfolded
her.
Spoilt their evening! Spoilt
their being alone together! They would never
be alone together again.