Father would never forgive them.
That was what they felt more than ever when, two
mornings later, they went into his room to go through
his things. They had discussed it quite calmly.
It was even down on Josephine’s list of things
to be done. “Go through father’s
things and settle about them.” But that
was a very different matter from saying after breakfast:
“Well, are you ready, Con?”
“Yes, Jug—when you are.”
“Then I think we’d better get it over.”
It was dark in the hall. It
had been a rule for years never to disturb father
in the morning, whatever happened. And now they
were going to open the door without knocking even…Constantia’s
eyes were enormous at the idea; Josephine felt weak
in the knees.
“You—you go first,” she gasped,
pushing Constantia.
But Constantia said, as she always
had said on those occasions, “No, Jug, that’s
not fair. You’re the eldest.”
Josephine was just going to say—what
at other times she wouldn’t have owned to for
the world—what she kept for her very last
weapon, “But you’re the tallest,”
when they noticed that the kitchen door was open, and
there stood Kate…
“Very stiff,” said Josephine,
grasping the doorhandle and doing her best to turn
it. As if anything ever deceived Kate!
It couldn’t be helped.
That girl was…Then the door was shut behind them,
but—but they weren’t in father’s
room at all. They might have suddenly walked
through the wall by mistake into a different flat altogether.
Was the door just behind them? They were too
frightened to look. Josephine knew that if it
was it was holding itself tight shut; Constantia felt
that, like the doors in dreams, it hadn’t any
handle at all. It was the coldness which made
it so awful. Or the whiteness—which?
Everything was covered. The blinds were down,
a cloth hung over the mirror, a sheet hid the bed;
a huge fan of white paper filled the fireplace.
Constantia timidly put out her hand; she almost expected
a snowflake to fall. Josephine felt a queer
tingling in her nose, as if her nose was freezing.
Then a cab klop-klopped over the cobbles below, and
the quiet seemed to shake into little pieces.
“I had better pull up a blind,” said Josephine
bravely.
“Yes, it might be a good idea,” whispered
Constantia.
They only gave the blind a touch,
but it flew up and the cord flew after, rolling round
the blind-stick, and the little tassel tapped as if
trying to get free. That was too much for Constantia.
“Don’t you think—don’t
you think we might put it off for another day?”
she whispered.
“Why?” snapped Josephine,
feeling, as usual, much better now that she knew for
certain that Constantia was terrified. “It’s
got to be done. But I do wish you wouldn’t
whisper, Con.”
“I didn’t know I was whispering,”
whispered Constantia.
“And why do you keep staring
at the bed?” said Josephine, raising her voice
almost defiantly. “There’s nothing
on the bed.”
“Oh, Jug, don’t say so!”
said poor Connie. “At any rate, not so
loudly.”
Josephine felt herself that she had
gone too far. She took a wide swerve over to
the chest of drawers, put out her hand, but quickly
drew it back again.
“Connie!” she gasped,
and she wheeled round and leaned with her back against
the chest of drawers.
“Oh, Jug—what?”
Josephine could only glare.
She had the most extraordinary feeling that she had
just escaped something simply awful. But how
could she explain to Constantia that father was in
the chest of drawers? He was in the top drawer
with his handkerchiefs and neckties, or in the next
with his shirts and pyjamas, or in the lowest of all
with his suits. He was watching there, hidden
away—just behind the door-handle—ready
to spring.
She pulled a funny old-fashioned face
at Constantia, just as she used to in the old days
when she was going to cry.
“I can’t open,” she nearly wailed.
“No, don’t, Jug,”
whispered Constantia earnestly. “It’s
much better not to. Don’t let’s
open anything. At any rate, not for a long time.”
“But—but it seems so weak,”
said Josephine, breaking down.
“But why not be weak for once,
Jug?” argued Constantia, whispering quite fiercely.
“If it is weak.” And her pale stare
flew from the locked writing-table—so safe—to
the huge glittering wardrobe, and she began to breathe
in a queer, panting away. “Why shouldn’t
we be weak for once in our lives, Jug? It’s
quite excusable. Let’s be weak—be
weak, Jug. It’s much nicer to be weak
than to be strong.”
And then she did one of those amazingly
bold things that she’d done about twice before
in their lives: she marched over to the wardrobe,
turned the key, and took it out of the lock.
Took it out of the lock and held it up to Josephine,
showing Josephine by her extraordinary smile that she
knew what she’d done—she’d
risked deliberately father being in there among his
overcoats.
If the huge wardrobe had lurched forward,
had crashed down on Constantia, Josephine wouldn’t
have been surprised. On the contrary, she would
have thought it the only suitable thing to happen.
But nothing happened. Only the room seemed
quieter than ever, and the bigger flakes of cold air
fell on Josephine’s shoulders and knees.
She began to shiver.
“Come, Jug,” said Constantia,
still with that awful callous smile, and Josephine
followed just as she had that last time, when Constantia
had pushed Benny into the round pond.