The Garden Party and Other Stories

The sun was still full on the garden when the back door of the Burnells’ shut with a bang, and a very gay figure walked down the path to the gate.  It was Alice, the servant-girl, dressed for her afternoon out.  She wore a white cotton dress with such large red spots on it and so many that they made you shudder, white shoes and a leghorn turned up under the brim with poppies.  Of course she wore gloves, white ones, stained at the fastenings with iron-mould, and in one hand she carried a very dashed-looking sunshade which she referred to as her “perishall.”

Beryl, sitting in the window, fanning her freshly-washed hair, thought she had never seen such a guy.  If Alice had only blacked her face with a piece of cork before she started out, the picture would have been complete.  And where did a girl like that go to in a place like this?  The heart-shaped Fijian fan beat scornfully at that lovely bright mane.  She supposed Alice had picked up some horrible common larrikin and they’d go off into the bush together.  Pity to have made herself so conspicuous; they’d have hard work to hide with Alice in that rig-out.

But no, Beryl was unfair.  Alice was going to tea with Mrs Stubbs, who’d sent her an “invite” by the little boy who called for orders.  She had taken ever such a liking to Mrs. Stubbs ever since the first time she went to the shop to get something for her mosquitoes.

“Dear heart!” Mrs. Stubbs had clapped her hand to her side.  “I never seen anyone so eaten.  You might have been attacked by canningbals.”

Alice did wish there’d been a bit of life on the road though.  Made her feel so queer, having nobody behind her.  Made her feel all weak in the spine.  She couldn’t believe that some one wasn’t watching her.  And yet it was silly to turn round; it gave you away.  She pulled up her gloves, hummed to herself and said to the distant gum-tree, “Shan’t be long now.”  But that was hardly company.

Mrs. Stubbs’s shop was perched on a little hillock just off the road.  It had two big windows for eyes, a broad veranda for a hat, and the sign on the roof, scrawled Mrs. Stubbs’s, was like a little card stuck rakishly in the hat crown.

On the veranda there hung a long string of bathing-dresses, clinging together as though they’d just been rescued from the sea rather than waiting to go in, and beside them there hung a cluster of sandshoes so extraordinarily mixed that to get at one pair you had to tear apart and forcibly separate at least fifty.  Even then it was the rarest thing to find the left that belonged to the right.  So many people had lost patience and gone off with one shoe that fitted and one that was a little too big…Mrs. Stubbs prided herself on keeping something of everything.  The two windows, arranged in the form of precarious pyramids, were crammed so tight, piled so high, that it seemed only a conjurer could prevent them from toppling over.  In the left-hand corner of one window, glued to the pane by four gelatine lozenges, there was—­and there had been from time immemorial—­a notice.

Lost!  HANSOME GOLE brooch
solid gold
on or near beach
reward offered

Alice pressed open the door.  The bell jangled, the red serge curtains parted, and Mrs. Stubbs appeared.  With her broad smile and the long bacon knife in her hand, she looked like a friendly brigand.  Alice was welcomed so warmly that she found it quite difficult to keep up her “manners.”  They consisted of persistent little coughs and hems, pulls at her gloves, tweaks at her skirt, and a curious difficulty in seeing what was set before her or understanding what was said.

Tea was laid on the parlour table—­ham, sardines, a whole pound of butter, and such a large johnny cake that it looked like an advertisement for somebody’s baking-powder.  But the Primus stove roared so loudly that it was useless to try to talk above it.  Alice sat down on the edge of a basket-chair while Mrs. Stubbs pumped the stove still higher.  Suddenly Mrs. Stubbs whipped the cushion off a chair and disclosed a large brown-paper parcel.

“I’ve just had some new photers taken, my dear,” she shouted cheerfully to Alice.  “Tell me what you think of them.”

In a very dainty, refined way Alice wet her finger and put the tissue back from the first one.  Life!  How many there were!  There were three dozzing at least.  And she held it up to the light.

Mrs. Stubbs sat in an arm-chair, leaning very much to one side.  There was a look of mild astonishment on her large face, and well there might be.  For though the arm-chair stood on a carpet, to the left of it, miraculously skirting the carpet-border, there was a dashing water-fall.  On her right stood a Grecian pillar with a giant fern-tree on either side of it, and in the background towered a gaunt mountain, pale with snow.

“It is a nice style, isn’t it?” shouted Mrs. Stubbs; and Alice had just screamed “Sweetly” when the roaring of the Primus stove died down, fizzled out, ceased, and she said “Pretty” in a silence that was frightening.

“Draw up your chair, my dear,” said Mrs. Stubbs, beginning to pour out.  “Yes,” she said thoughtfully, as she handed the tea, “but I don’t care about the size.  I’m having an enlargemint.  All very well for Christmas cards, but I never was the one for small photers myself.  You get no comfort out of them.  To say the truth, I find them dis’eartening.”

Alice quite saw what she meant.

“Size,” said Mrs. Stubbs.  “Give me size.  That was what my poor dear husband was always saying.  He couldn’t stand anything small.  Gave him the creeps.  And, strange as it may seem, my dear”—­here Mrs. Stubbs creaked and seemed to expand herself at the memory—­“it was dropsy that carried him off at the larst.  Many’s the time they drawn one and a half pints from ’im at the ’ospital…It seemed like a judgmint.”

Alice burned to know exactly what it was that was drawn from him.  She ventured, “I suppose it was water.”

But Mrs. Stubbs fixed Alice with her eyes and replied meaningly, “It was liquid, my dear.”

Liquid!  Alice jumped away from the word like a cat and came back to it, nosing and wary.

“That’s ’im!” said Mrs. Stubbs, and she pointed dramatically to the life-size head and shoulders of a burly man with a dead white rose in the buttonhole of his coat that made you think of a curl of cold mutting fat.  Just below, in silver letters on a red cardboard ground, were the words, “Be not afraid, it is I.”

“It’s ever such a fine face,” said Alice faintly.

The pale-blue bow on the top of Mrs. Stubbs’s fair frizzy hair quivered.  She arched her plump neck.  What a neck she had!  It was bright pink where it began and then it changed to warm apricot, and that faded to the colour of a brown egg and then to a deep creamy.

“All the same, my dear,” she said surprisingly, “freedom’s best!” Her soft, fat chuckle sounded like a purr.  “Freedom’s best,” said Mrs. Stubbs again.

Freedom!  Alice gave a loud, silly little titter.  She felt awkward.  Her mind flew back to her own kitching.  Ever so queer!  She wanted to be back in it again.