While we were eating supper, a dozen
Indian girls were gathered about a table in one of
the large rooms behind the house, busily engaged in
blowing out the contents of several hundred eggs and
filling the hollowed shells with cologne, flour, tinsel,
bright scraps of paper. Each egg-was then sealed
with white wax, and ready for the cascaron frolic
of the evening.
We had been dancing, singing, and
talking for an hour after rosario, when the eggs were
brought in. In an instant every girl’s hair
was unbound, a wild dive was made for the great trays,
and eggs flew in every direction. Dancing was
forgotten. The girls and men chased each other
about the room, the air was filled with perfume and
glittering particles, the latter looking very pretty
on black floating hair. Etiquette demanded that
only one egg should be thrown by the same hand at
a time, but quick turns of supple wrists followed each
other very rapidly. To really accomplish a feat
the egg must crash on the back of the head, and each
occupied in attack was easy prey.
Chonita was like a child. Two
priests were of our party, and she made a target of
their shaven crowns, shrieking with delight. They
vowed revenge, and chased her all over the house;
but not an egg had broken on that golden mane.
She was surrounded at one time by caballeros, but
she whirled and doubled so swiftly that every cascaron
flew afield.
The pelting grew faster and more furious;
every room was invaded; we chased each other up and
down the corridors. The people in the court had
their cascarones also, and the noise must have been
heard at the Mission. Don Guillermo hobbled about
delightedly, covered with tinsel and flour. Estenega
had tried a dozen times to hit Chonita, but as if
by instinct she faced him each time before the egg
could leave his hand. Finally he pursued her
down the corridor to her library, where I, fortunately,
happened to be resting, and both threw themselves into
chairs, breathless.
“Let us stay here,” he
said. “We have had enough of this.”
“Very well,” she said.
She bent her head to lift a book which had fallen
from a shelf, and felt the soft blow of the cascaron.
“At last!” said Estenega,
contentedly. “I was determined to conquer,
if I waited until morning.”
Chonita looked vexed for a moment,—she
did not like to be vanquished,—then shrugged
her shoulders and leaned back in her chair. The
little room was plainly furnished. Shelves covered
three sides, and the window-seat and the table were
littered with books. There were no curtains,
no ornaments; but Chonita’s hair, billowing to
the floor, her slender voluptuous form, her white
skin and green irradiating eyes, the candlelight half
revealing, half concealing, made a picture requiring
no background. I caught the expression of Estenega’s
face, and determined to remain if he murdered me.
Peals of laughter, joyous shrieks,
screams of mock terror, floated in to us. I broke
a silence which was growing awkward:
“How happy they are! Creatures
of air and sunshine! Life in this Arcadia is
an idyl.”
“They are not happy,”
said Estenega, contemptuously; “they are gay.
They are light of heart through absence of material
cares and endless sources of enjoyment, which in turn
have bred a careless order of mind. But did each
pause long enough to look into his own heart, would
he not find a stone somewhere in its depths?—perhaps
a skull graven on the stone,—who knows?”
“Oh, Diego!” I exclaimed,
impatiently, “this is a party, not a funeral.”
“Then is no one happy?” asked Chonita,
wistfully.
“How can he be, when in each
moment of attainment he is pricked by the knowledge
that it must soon be over? The youth is not happy,
because the shadow of the future is on him. The
man is not happy, because the knowledge of life’s
incompleteness is with him.”
“Then of what use to live at all?”
“No use. It is no use to
die, neither, so we live. I will grant that there
may be ten completely happy moments in life,—the
ten conscious moments preceding certain death—and
oblivion.”
“I will not discuss the beautiful
hope of our religion with you, because you do not
believe, and I should only get angry. But what
are we to do with this life? You say nothing is
wrong nor right. What would you have the stumbling
and unanchored do with what has been thrust upon him?”
“Man, in his gropings down through
the centuries, has concocted, shivered, and patched
certain social conditions well enough calculated to
develop the best and the worst that is in us, making
it easier for us to be bad than good, that good might
be the standard. We feel a deeper satisfaction
if we have conquered an evil impulse and done what
is accepted as right, because we have groaned and stumbled
in the doing,—that is all. Temptation
is sweet only because the impulse comes from the depths
of our being, not because it is difficult to be tempted.
If we overcome, the satisfaction is deep and enduring,—which
only goes to show that man is but a petty egotist,
always drawing pictures of himself on a pedestal.
The man who emancipates himself from traditions and
yields to his impulses is debarred from happiness
by the blunders of the blindfolded generations preceding
him, which arranged that to yield was easy and to
resist difficult. Had they reversed the conditions
and conclusions, the majority of the human race would
have fought each other to death, but the selected remnant
would have had a better time of it.
“Let us suppose a case as conditions
now exist. Assume, for the sake of argument,
that you loved me and that you plucked from your nature
your religion, your fidelity to your house, your love
for your brother, and gave yourself to me. You
would stand appalled at the sacrifice until you realized
that you had come to me only because it would have
been more difficult to stay away. You conquer
the passionate cry of love,—the strongest
the human compound has ever voiced,—and
you are miserably happy for the rest of your life no
attitude being so pleasing to the soul as the attitude
of martyrdom. Many a man and woman looks with
some impatience for the last good-bye to be said,
so sweet is the prospect of sadness, of suffering,
of resignation.”
I was aghast at his audacity, but
I saw that Chonita was fascinated. Her egotism
was caressed, and her womanhood thrilled. “Are
we all such shams as that?” was what she said.
“You make me despise myself.”
“Not yourself, but a great structure—of
which you are but a grain—with a faulty
foundation. Don’t despise yourself.
Curse the builders who shoveled those stones together.”
He left her then, and she told me
to go to bed; she wanted to sit a while and think.
“He makes you think too much,”
I said. “Better forget what he says as
soon as you can. He is a very disturbing influence.”
But she made me no reply, and sat
there staring at the floor. She began to feel
a sense of helplessness, like a creature caught in
a net. It was more the man’s personality
than his words which made her feel as if he were pouring
himself throughout her, taking possession of brain
and every sense, as though he were a sort of intellectual
drug.
“I believe I was made from his
rib,” she thought, angrily, “else why
can he have this extraordinary power over me?
I do not love him. I have read somewhat of love,
and seen more. This is different, quite.
I only feel that there is something in him that I
want. Sometimes I feel that I must dig my nails
into him and tear him apart until I find what I want,—something
that belongs to me. Sometimes it is as if he
promised it, at others as if he were unconscious of
its existence; always it is evanescent. Is he
going to make my mind his own?—and yet
he always seems to leave mine free. He has never
snubbed me. He makes me think: there is
the danger.”
An hour later there was a tap on her
door. Casa Grande was asleep. She sat upright,
her heart beating rapidly. Estenega was audacious
enough for anything. But it was her brother who
entered.
“Reinaldo!” she exclaimed,
horrified to feel an unmistakable stab of disappointment.
“Yes, it is I. Art thou alone?”
“Sure.”
“I have something to say to thee.”
He drew a chair close to her and sat
down “Thou knowest, my sister,” he began,
haltingly, “how I hate the house of Estenega.
My hatred is as loyal as thine: every drop of
blood in my veins is true to the honor of the house
of Iturbi y Moncada. But, my sister, is it not
so that one can sacrifice himself, his mere personal
feelings, upon the altar of his country? Is it
not so, my sister?”
“What is it thou wishest me to understand, Reinaldo?”
“Do not look so stern, my Chonita.
Thou hast not yet heard me; and, although thou mayest
be angry then, thou wilt reason later. Thou art
devoted to thy house, no?”
“Thou hast come here in the night to ask me
such a question as that?”
“And thou lovest thy brother?”
“Reinaldo, thou hast drunken
more mescal than Angelica. Go back to thy bride.”
But, although she spoke lightly, she was uneasy.
“My sister, I never drank a
drop of mescal in my life! Listen. It is
our father’s wish, thy wish, my wish, that I
become a great and distinguished man, an ornament
to the house of Iturbi y Moncada, a star on the brow
of California. How can I accomplish this great
and desirable end? By the medium of politics only;
our wars are so insignificant. I have been debarred
from the Departmental Junta by the enemy of our house,
else would it have rung with my eloquence, and Mexico
have known me to-day. Yet I care little for the
Junta. I wish to go as diputado to Mexico; it
is a grander arena. Moreover, in that great capital
I shall become a man of the world,—which
is necessary to control men. That is his
power,—curse him! And he—he
will not let me go there. Even Alvarado listens
to him. The Departmental Junta is under his thumb.
I will never be anything but a caballero of Santa
Barbara—I, an Iturbi y Moncada, the last
scion of a line illustrious in war, in diplomacy,
in politics—until he is either dead—do
not jump, my sister; it is not my intention to murder
him and ruin my career—or becomes my friend.”
“Canst thou not put thy meaning in fewer words?”
“My sister, he loves thee, and thou lovest thy
brother and thy house.”
Chonita rose to her full height, and
although he rose too, and was taller, she seemed to
look down upon him.
“Thou wouldst have me marry him? Is that
thy meaning?”
“Ay.” His voice trembled.
Under his swagger he was always a little afraid of
the Doomswoman.
“Thou askest perjury and disloyalty
and dishonor of an Iturbi y Moncada?”
“An Iturbi y Moncada asks it
of an Iturbi y Moncada. If the man is ready to
bend his neck in sacrifice to the glory of his house,
is it for the woman to think?”
Chonita stood grasping the back of
her chair convulsively; it was the only sign of emotion
she betrayed. She knew that what he said was
true: that Estenega, for public and personal reasons,
never would let him go to Mexico; he would permit
no enemy at court. But this knowledge drifted
through her mind and out of it at the moment; she
was struggling to hold down a hot wave of contempt
rushing upward within her. She clung to her traditions
as frantically as she clung to her religion.
“Go,” she said, after a moment.
“Thou wilt think of what I have said?”
“I shall pray to forget it.”
“Chonita!” his voice rang
out so loud that she placed her hand on his mouth.
He dashed it away. “Thou wilt!” he
cried, like a spoilt child. “Thou wilt!
I shall go to the city of Mexico, and only thou canst
send me there. All my father’s gold and
leagues will not buy me a seat in the Mexican Congress,
unless this accursed Estenega lifts his hand and says,
‘Thou shalt.’ Holy God! how I hate
him! Would that I had the chance to murder him!
I would cut his heart out to-morrow. And my father
likes him, and has outlived rancor. And thou—thou
art not indifferent.”
“Go!”
He threw his arms about her, kissing
and caressing her. “My sister! My
sister! Thou wilt! Say that thou wilt!”
But she flung him off as if he were a snake.
“Wilt thou go?” she asked.
“Ay! I go. But he
shall suffer. I swear it! I swear it!”
And he rushed from the room.
Chonita sat there, staring more fixedly at the floor
than when
Estenega had left her.