XXIII.
JIMMY GOGGLES THE GOD.
“It isn’t every one who’s
been a god,” said the sunburnt man. “But
it’s happened to me—among other things.”
I intimated my sense of his condescension.
“It don’t leave much for ambition, does
it?” said the sunburnt man.
“I was one of those men who
were saved from the Ocean Pioneer. Gummy!
how time flies! It’s twenty years ago.
I doubt if you’ll remember anything of the Ocean
Pioneer?”
The name was familiar, and I tried
to recall when and where I had read it. The Ocean
Pioneer? “Something about gold dust,”
I said vaguely, “but the precise—”
“That’s it,” he
said. “In a beastly little channel she hadn’t
no business in—dodging pirates. It
was before they’d put the kybosh on that business.
And there’d been volcanoes or something and all
the rocks was wrong. There’s places about
by Soona where you fair have to follow the rocks about
to see where they’re going next. Down she
went in twenty fathoms before you could have dealt
for whist, with fifty thousand pounds worth of gold
aboard, it was said, in one form or another.”
“Survivors?”
“Three.”
“I remember the case now,” I said.
“There was something about salvage——”
But at the word salvage the sunburnt
man exploded into language so extraordinarily horrible
that I stopped aghast. He came down to more ordinary
swearing, and pulled himself up abruptly. “Excuse
me,” he said, “but—salvage!”
He leant over towards me. “I
was in that job,” he said. “Tried
to make myself a rich man, and got made a god instead.
I’ve got my feelings——
“It ain’t all jam being
a god,” said the sunburnt man, and for some time
conversed by means of such pithy but unprogressive
axioms. At last he took up his tale again.
“There was me,” said the
sunburnt man, “and a seaman named Jacobs, and
Always, the mate of the Ocean Pioneer.
And him it was that set the whole thing going.
I remember him now, when we was in the jolly-boat,
suggesting it all to our minds just by one sentence.
He was a wonderful hand at suggesting things.
‘There was forty thousand pounds,’ he said,
’on that ship, and it’s for me to say
just where she went down.’ It didn’t
need much brains to tumble to that. And he was
the leader from the first to the last. He got
hold of the Sanderses and their brig; they were brothers,
and the brig was the Pride of Banya, and he
it was bought the diving dress—a second-hand
one with a compressed air apparatus instead of pumping.
He’d have done the diving too, if it hadn’t
made him sick going down. And the salvage people
were mucking about with a chart he’d cooked
up, as solemn as could be, at Starr Race, a hundred
and twenty miles away.
“I can tell you we was a happy
lot aboard that brig, jokes and drink and bright hopes
all the time. It all seemed so neat and clean
and straightforward, and what rough chaps call a ‘cert.’
And we used to speculate how the other blessed lot,
the proper salvagers, who’d started two days
before us, were getting on, until our sides fairly
ached. We all messed together in the Sanderses’
cabin—it was a curious crew, all officers
and no men—and there stood the diving-dress
waiting its turn. Young Sanders was a humorous
sort of chap, and there certainly was something funny
in the confounded thing’s great fat head and
its stare, and he made us see it too. ‘Jimmy
Goggles,’ he used to call it, and talk to it
like a Christian. Asked if he was married, and
how Mrs. Goggles was, and all the little Goggleses.
Fit to make you split. And every blessed day
all of us used to drink the health of Jimmy Goggles
in rum, and unscrew his eye and pour a glass of rum
in him, until, instead of that nasty mackintosheriness,
he smelt as nice in his inside as a cask of rum.
It was jolly times we had in those days, I can tell
you—little suspecting, poor chaps! what
was a-coming.
“We weren’t going to throw
away our chances by any blessed hurry, you know, and
we spent a whole day sounding our way towards where
the Ocean Pioneer had gone down, right between
two chunks of ropy grey rock—lava rocks
that rose nearly out of the water. We had to lay
off about half a mile to get a safe anchorage, and
there was a thundering row who should stop on board.
And there she lay just as she had gone down, so that
you could see the top of the masts that was still standing
perfectly distinctly. The row ended in all coming
in the boat. I went down in the diving-dress
on Friday morning directly it was light.
“What a surprise it was!
I can see it all now quite distinctly. It was
a queer-looking place, and the light was just coming.
People over here think every blessed place in the
tropics is a flat shore and palm-trees and surf, bless
’em! This place, for instance, wasn’t
a bit that way. Not common rocks they were, undermined
by waves; but great curved banks like ironwork cinder
heaps, with green slime below, and thorny shrubs and
things just waving upon them here and there, and the
water glassy calm and clear, and showing you a kind
of dirty gray-black shine, with huge flaring red-brown
weeds spreading motionless, and crawling and darting
things going through it. And far away beyond
the ditches and pools and the heaps was a forest on
the mountain flank, growing again after the fires and
cinder showers of the last eruption. And the other
way forest, too, and a kind of broken—what
is it?—amby-theatre of black and rusty cinders
rising out of it all, and the sea in a kind of bay
in the middle.
“The dawn, I say, was just coming,
and there wasn’t much colour about things, and
not a human being but ourselves anywhere in sight up
or down the channel. Except the Pride of Banya,
lying out beyond a lump of rocks towards the line
of the sea.
“Not a human being in sight,” he repeated,
and paused.
“I don’t know where
they came from, not a bit. And we were feeling
so safe that we were all alone that poor young Sanders
was a-singing. I was in Jimmy Goggles, all except
the helmet. ‘Easy,’ says Always, ’there’s
her mast.’ And after I’d had just
one squint over the gunwale, I caught up the bogey,
and almost tipped out as old Sanders brought the boat
round. When the windows were screwed and everything
was all right, I shut the valve from the air-belt
in order to help my sinking, and jumped overboard,
feet foremost—for we hadn’t a ladder.
I left the boat pitching, and all of them staring
down into water after me, as my head sank down into
the weeds and blackness that lay about the mast.
I suppose nobody, not the most cautious chap in the
world, would have bothered about a look-out at such
a desolate place. It stunk of solitude.
“Of course you must understand
that I was a greenhorn at diving. None of us
were divers. We’d had to muck about with
the thing to get the way of it, and this was the first
time I’d been deep. It feels damnable.
Your ears hurt beastly. I don’t know if
you’ve ever hurt yourself yawning or sneezing,
but it takes you like that, only ten times worse.
And a pain over the eyebrows here—splitting—and
a feeling like influenza in the head. And it
isn’t all heaven in your lungs and things.
And going down feels like the beginning of a lift,
only it keeps on. And you can’t turn your
head to see what’s above you, and you can’t
get a fair squint at what’s happening to your
feet without bending down something painful. And
being deep it was dark, let alone the blackness of
the ashes and mud that formed the bottom. It
was like going down out of the dawn back into the
night, so to speak.
“The mast came up like a ghost
out of the black, and then a lot of fishes, and then
a lot of flapping red seaweed, and then whack I came
with a kind of dull bang on the deck of the Ocean
Pioneer, and the fishes that had been feeding
on the dead rose about me like a swarm of flies from
road stuff in summer-time. I turned on the compressed
air again—for the suit was a bit thick
and mackintoshery after all, in spite of the rum—and
stood recovering myself. It struck coolish down
there, and that helped take off the stuffiness a bit.”
“When I began to feel easier,
I started looking about me. It was an extraordinary
sight. Even the light was extraordinary, a kind
of reddy-coloured twilight, on account of the streamers
of seaweed that floated up on either side of the ship.
And far overhead just a moony, deep green blue.
The deck of the ship, except for a slight list to
starboard, was level, and lay all dark and long between
the weeds, clear except where the masts had snapped
when she rolled, and vanishing into black night towards
the forecastle. There wasn’t any dead on
the decks, most were in the weeds alongside, I suppose;
but afterwards I found two skeletons lying in the
passengers’ cabins, where death had come to them.
It was curious to stand on that deck and recognise
it all, bit by bit; a place against the rail where
I’d been fond of smoking by starlight, and the
corner where an old chap from Sydney used to flirt
with a widow we had aboard. A comfortable couple
they’d been, only a month ago, and now you couldn’t
have got a meal for a baby crab off either of them.
“I’ve always had a bit
of a philosophical turn, and I daresay I spent the
best part of five minutes in such thoughts before I
went below to find where the blessed dust was stored.
It was slow work hunting, feeling it was for the most
part, pitchy dark, with confusing blue gleams down
the companion. And there were things moving about,
a dab at my glass once, and once a pinch at my leg.
Crabs, I expect. I kicked a lot of loose stuff
that puzzled me, and stooped and picked up something
all knobs and spikes. What do you think?
Backbone! But I never had any particular feeling
for bones. We had talked the affair over pretty
thoroughly, and Always knew just where the stuff was
stowed. I found it that trip. I lifted a
box one end an inch or more.”
He broke off in his story. “I’ve
lifted it,” he said, “as near as that!
Forty thousand pounds’ worth of pure gold!
Gold! I shouted inside my helmet as a kind of
cheer, and hurt my ears. I was getting confounded
stuffy and tired by this time—I must have
been down twenty-five minutes or more—and
I thought this was good enough. I went up the
companion again, and as my eyes came up flush with
the deck, a thundering great crab gave a kind of hysterical
jump and went scuttling off sideways. Quite a
start it gave me. I stood up clear on deck and
shut the valve behind the helmet to let the air accumulate
to carry me up again—I noticed a kind of
whacking from above, as though they were hitting the
water with an oar, but I didn’t look up.
I fancied they were signalling me to come up.
“And then something shot down
by me—something heavy, and stood a-quiver
in the planks. I looked, and there was a long
knife I’d seen young Sanders handling.
Thinks I, he’s dropped it, and I was still calling
him this kind of fool and that—–for
it might have hurt me serious—when I began
to lift and drive up towards the daylight. Just
about the level of the top spars of the Ocean Pioneer,
whack! I came against something sinking down,
and a boot knocked in front of my helmet. Then
something else, struggling frightful. It was
a big weight atop of me, whatever it was, and moving
and twisting about. I’d have thought it
a big octopus, or some such thing, if it hadn’t
been for the boot. But octopuses don’t wear
boots. It was all in a moment, of course.
“I felt myself sinking down
again, and I threw my arms about to keep steady, and
the whole lot rolled free of me and shot down as I
went up—”
He paused.
“I saw young Sanders’s
face, over a naked black shoulder, and a spear driven
clean through his neck, and out of his mouth and neck
what looked like spirts of pink smoke in the water.
And down they went clutching one another, and turning
over, and both too far gone to leave go. And in
another second my helmet came a whack, fit to split,
against the niggers’ canoe. It was niggers!
Two canoes full.
“It was lively times I tell
you? Overboard came Always with three spears
in him. There was the legs of three or four black
chaps kicking about me in the water. I couldn’t
see much, but I saw the game was up at a glance, gave
my valve a tremendous twist, and went bubbling down
again after poor Always, in as awful a state of scare
and astonishment as you can well imagine. I passed
young Sanders and the nigger going up again and struggling
still a bit, and in another moment I was standing in
the dim again on the deck of the Ocean Pioneer.
“Gummy, thinks I, here’s
a fix! Niggers? At first I couldn’t
see anything for it but Stifle below or Stabs above.
I didn’t properly understand how much air there
was to last me out, but I didn’t feel like standing
very much more of it down below. I was hot and
frightfully heady, quite apart from the blue funk
I was in. We’d never reckoned with these
beastly natives, filthy Papuan beasts. It wasn’t
any good coming up where I was, but I had to do something.
On the spur of the moment, I clambered over the side
of the brig and landed among the weeds, and set off
through the darkness as fast as I could. I just
stopped once and knelt, and twisted back my head in
the helmet and had a look up. It was a most extraordinary
bright green-blue above, and the two canoes and the
boat floating there very small and distant like a
kind of twisted H. And it made me feel sick to squint
up at it, and think what the pitching and swaying of
the three meant.
“It was just about the most
horrible ten minutes I ever had, blundering about
in that darkness—pressure something awful,
like being buried in sand, pain across the chest,
sick with funk, and breathing nothing as it seemed
but the smell of rum and mackintosh. Gummy!
After a bit, I found myself going up a steepish sort
of slope. I had another squint to see if anything
was visible of the canoes and boats, and then kept
on. I stopped with my head a foot from the surface,
and tried to see where I was going, but, of course,
nothing was to be seen but the reflection of the bottom.
Then out I dashed, like knocking my head through a
mirror. Directly I got my eyes out of the water,
I saw I’d come up a kind of beach near the forest.
I had a look round, but the natives and the brig were
both hidden by a big hummucky heap of twisted lava.
The born fool in me suggested a run for the woods.
I didn’t take the helmet off, but I eased open
one of the windows, and, after a bit of a pant, went
on out of the water. You’d hardly imagine
how clean and light the air tasted.
“Of course, with four inches
of lead in your boot soles, and your head in a copper
knob the size of a football, and been thirty-five minutes
under water, you don’t break any records running.
I ran like a ploughboy going to work. And half-way
to the trees I saw a dozen niggers or more, coming
out in a gaping, astonished sort of way to meet me.
“I just stopped dead, and cursed
myself for all the fools out of London. I had
about as much chance of cutting back to the water as
a turned turtle. I just screwed up my window
again to leave my hands free, and waited for them.
There wasn’t anything else for me to do.
“But they didn’t come
on very much. I began to suspect why. ’Jimmy
Goggles,’ I says, ‘it’s your beauty
does it.’ I was inclined to be a little
lightheaded, I think, with all these dangers about
and the change in the pressure of the blessed air.
‘Who’re ye staring at?’ I said, as
if the savages could hear me. ’What d’ye
take me for? I’m hanged if I don’t
give you something to stare at,’ I said, and
with that I screwed up the escape valve and turned
on the compressed air from the belt, until I was swelled
out like a blown frog. Regular imposing it must
have been. I’m blessed if they’d
come on a step; and presently one and then another
went down on their hands and knees. They didn’t
know what to make of me, and they was doing the extra
polite, which was very wise and reasonable of them.
I had half a mind to edge back seaward and cut and
run, but it seemed too hopeless. A step back
and they’d have been after me. And out of
sheer desperation I began to march towards them up
the beach, with slow, heavy steps, and waving my blown-out
arms about, in a dignified manner. And inside
of me I was singing as small as a tomtit.
“But there’s nothing like
a striking appearance to help a man over a difficulty,—I’ve
found that before and since. People like ourselves,
who’re up to diving dresses by the time we’re
seven, can scarcely imagine the effect of one on a
simple-minded savage. One or two of these niggers
cut and run, the others started in a great hurry trying
to knock their brains out on the ground. And
on I went as slow and solemn and silly-looking and
artful as a jobbing plumber. It was evident they
took me for something immense.
“Then up jumped one and began
pointing, making extraordinary gestures to me as he
did so, and all the others began sharing their attention
between me and something out at; sea. ‘What’s
the matter now?’ I said. I turned slowly
on account of my dignity, and there I saw, coming round
a point, the poor old Pride of Banya towed
by a couple of canoes. The sight fairly made
me sick. But they evidently expected some recognition,
so I waved my arms in a striking sort of non-committal
manner. And then I turned and stalked on towards
the trees again. At that time I was praying like
mad, I remember, over and over again: ’Lord
help me through with it! Lord help me through
with it!’ It’s only fools who know nothing
of danger can afford to laugh at praying.”
“But these niggers weren’t
going to let me walk through and away like that.
They started a kind of bowing dance about me, and sort
of pressed me to take a pathway that lay through the
trees. It was clear to me they didn’t take
me for a British citizen, whatever else they thought
of me, and for my own part I was never less anxious
to own up to the old country.
“You’d hardly believe
it, perhaps, unless you’re familiar with savages,
but these poor, misguided, ignorant creatures took
me straight to their kind of joss place to present
me to the blessed old black stone there. By this
time I was beginning to sort of realise the depth of
their ignorance, and directly I set eyes on this deity
I took my cue. I started a baritone howl, ‘wow-wow,’
very long on one note, and began waving my arms about
a lot, and then very slowly and ceremoniously turned
their image over on its side and sat down on it.
I wanted to sit down badly, for diving dresses ain’t
much wear in the tropics. Or, to put it different
like, they’re a sight too much. It took
away their breath, I could see, my sitting on their
joss, but in less time than a minute they made up their
minds and were hard at work worshipping me. And
I can tell you I felt a bit relieved to see things
turning out so well, in spite of the weight on my shoulders
and feet.
“But what made me anxious was
what the chaps in the canoes might think when they
came back. If they’d seen me in the boat
before I went down, and without the helmet on—for
they might have been spying and hiding since over
night—they would very likely take a different
view from the others. I was in a deuce of a stew
about that for hours, as it seemed, until the shindy
of the arrival began.
“But they took it down—the
whole blessed village took it down. At the cost
of sitting up stiff and stern, as much like those sitting
Egyptian images one sees as I could manage, for pretty
nearly twelve hours, I should guess at least, on end,
I got over it. You’d hardly think what it
meant in that heat and stink. I don’t think
any of them dreamt of the man inside. I was just
a wonderful leathery great joss that had come up with
luck out of the water. But the fatigue! the heat!
the beastly closeness! the mackintosheriness and the
rum! and the fuss! They lit a stinking fire on
a kind of lava slab there was before me, and brought
in a lot of gory muck—the worst parts of
what they were feasting on outside, the Beasts—
and burnt it all in my honour. I was getting a
bit hungry, but I understand now how gods manage to
do without eating, what with the smell of burnt-offerings
about them. And they brought in a lot of the stuff
they’d got off the brig and, among other stuff,
what I was a bit relieved to see, the kind of pneumatic
pump that was used for the compressed air affair,
and then a lot of chaps and girls came in and danced
about me something disgraceful. It’s extraordinary
the different ways different people have of showing
respect. If I’d had a hatchet handy I’d
have gone for the lot of them—they made
me feel that wild. All this time I sat as stiff
as company, not knowing anything better to do.
And at last, when nightfall came, and the wattle joss-house
place got a bit too shadowy for their taste—all
these here savages are afraid of the dark, you know—and
I started a sort of ‘Moo’ noise, they built
big bonfires outside and left me alone in peace in
the darkness of my hut, free to unscrew my windows
a bit and think things over, and feel just as bad
as I liked. And Lord! I was sick.
“I was weak and hungry, and
my mind kept on behaving like a beetle on a pin, tremendous
activity and nothing done at the end of it. Come
round just where it was before. There was sorrowing
for the other chaps, beastly drunkards certainly,
but not deserving such a fate, and young Sanders with
the spear through his neck wouldn’t go out of
my mind. There was the treasure down there in
the Ocean Pioneer, and how one might get it
and hide it somewhere safer, and get away and come
back for it. And there was the puzzle where to
get anything to eat. I tell you I was fair rambling.
I was afraid to ask by signs for food, for fear of
behaving too human, and so there I sat and hungered
until very near the dawn. Then the village got
a bit quiet, and I couldn’t stand it any longer,
and I went out and got some stuff like artichokes
in a bowl and some sour milk. What was left of
these I put away among the other offerings, just to
give them a hint of my tastes. And in the morning
they came to worship, and found me sitting up stiff
and respectable on their previous god, just as they’d
left me overnight. I’d got my back against
the central pillar of the hut, and, practically, I
was asleep. And that’s how I became a god
among the heathen—false god, no doubt,
and blasphemous, but one can’t always pick and
choose.
“Now, I don’t want to
crack myself up as a god beyond my merits, but I must
confess that while I was god to these people they was
extraordinary successful. I don’t say there’s
anything in it, mind you. They won a battle with
another tribe—I got a lot of offerings I
didn’t want through it—they had wonderful
fishing, and their crop of pourra was exceptional
fine. And they counted the capture of the brig
among the benefits I brought ’em. I must
say I don’t think that was a poor record for
a perfectly new hand. And, though perhaps you’d
scarcely credit it, I was the tribal god of those
beastly savages for pretty nearly four months…
“What else could I do, man?
But I didn’t wear that diving-dress all the
time. I made ’em rig me up a sort of holy
of holies, and a deuce of a time I had too, making
them understand what it was I wanted them to do.
That indeed was the great difficulty—making
them understand my wishes. I couldn’t let
myself down by talking their lingo badly, even if I’d
been able to speak at all, and I couldn’t go
flapping a lot of gestures at them. So I drew
pictures in sand and sat down beside them and hooted
like one o’clock. Sometimes they did the
things I wanted all right, and sometimes they did
them all wrong. They was always very willing,
certainly. All the while I was puzzling how I
was to get the confounded business settled. Every
night before the dawn I used to march out in full
rig and go off to a place where I could see the channel
in which the Ocean Pioneer lay sunk, and once
even, one moonlight night, I tried to walk out to
her, but the weeds and rocks and dark clean beat me.
I didn’t get back till full day, and then I
found all those silly niggers out on the beach praying
their sea-god to return to them. I was that vexed
and tired, messing and tumbling about, and coming up
and going down again, I could have punched their silly
heads all round when they started rejoicing.
Hanged if I like so much ceremony.
“And then came the missionary.
That missionary! What a Guy! Gummy!
It was in the afternoon, and I was sitting in state
in my outer temple place, sitting on that old black
stone of theirs, when he came. I heard a row
outside and jabbering, and then his voice speaking
to an interpreter. ‘They worship stocks
and stones,’ he said, and I knew what was up,
in a flash. I had one of my windows out for comfort,
and I sang out straight away on the spur of the moment.
‘Stocks and stones!’ I says. ’You
come inside,’ I says, ‘and I’ll
punch your blooming Exeter Hall of a head.’
“There was a kind of silence
and more jabbering, and in he came, Bible in hand,
after the manner of them—a little sandy
chap in specks and a pith helmet. I flatter myself
that me sitting there in the shadows, with my copper
head and my big goggles, struck him a bit of a heap
at first. ‘Well,’ I says, ‘how’s
the trade in scissors?’ for I don’t hold
with missionaries.
“I had a lark with that missionary.
He was a raw hand, and quite outclassed by a man like
me. He gasped out who was I, and I told him to
read the inscription at my feet if he wanted to know.
There wasn’t no inscription; why should there
be? but down he goes to read, and his interpreter,
being of course as superstitious as any of them, more
so by reason of his seeing missionary close to, took
it for an act of worship and plumped down like a shot.
All my people gave a howl of triumph, and there wasn’t
any more business to be done in my village after that
journey, not by the likes of him.
“But, of course, I was a fool
to choke him off like that. If I’d had any
sense I should have told him straight away of the treasure
and taken him into Co. I’ve no doubt he’d
have come into Co. A child, with a few hours
to think it over, could have seen the connection between
my diving dress and the loss of the Ocean Pioneer.
A week after he left I went out one morning and saw
the Motherhood, the salver’s ship from
Starr Race, towing up the channel and sounding.
The whole blessed game was up, and all my trouble
thrown away. Gummy! How wild I felt!
And guying it in that stinking silly dress! Four
months!”
The sunburnt man’s story degenerated
again. “Think of it,” he said, when
he emerged to linguistic purity once more. “Forty
thousand pounds’ worth of gold.”
“Did the little missionary come back?”
I asked.
“Oh yes! bless him! And
he pledged his reputation there was a man inside the
god, and started out to see as much with tremendous
ceremony. But wasn’t—he got
sold again. I always did hate scenes and explanations,
and long before he came I was out of it all—going
home to Banya along the coast, hiding in bushes by
day, and thieving food from the villages by night.
Only weapon, a spear. No clothes, no money.
Nothing. My face, my fortune, as the saying is.
And just a squeak of eight thousand pounds of gold—fifth
share. But the natives cut up rusty, thank goodness,
because they thought it was him had driven their luck
away.”