I am at my house in the country and
it is late October. It rains. Back of my
house is a forest and in front there is a road and
beyond that open fields. The country is one of
low hills, flattening suddenly into plains. Some
twenty miles away, across the flat country, lies the
huge city Chicago.
On this rainy day the leaves of the
trees that line the road before my window are falling
like rain, the yellow, red and golden leaves fall
straight down heavily. The rain beats them brutally
down. They are denied a last golden flash across
the sky. In October leaves should be carried
away, out over the plains, in a wind. They should
go dancing away.
Yesterday morning I arose at daybreak
and went for a walk. There was a heavy fog and
I lost myself in it. I went down into the plains
and returned to the hills, and everywhere the fog
was as a wall before me. Out of it trees sprang
suddenly, grotesquely, as in a city street late at
night people come suddenly out of the darkness into
the circle of light under a street lamp. Above
there was the light of day forcing itself slowly into
the fog. The fog moved slowly. The tops of
trees moved slowly. Under the trees the fog was
dense, purple. It was like smoke lying in the
streets of a factory town.
An old man came up to me in the fog.
I know him well. The people here call him insane.
“He is a little cracked,” they say.
He lives alone in a little house buried deep in the
forest and has a small dog he carries always in his
arms. On many mornings I have met him walking
on the road and he has told me of men and women who
are his brothers and sisters, his cousins, aunts,
uncles, brothers-in-law. It is confusing.
He cannot draw close to people near at hand so he
gets hold of a name out of a newspaper and his mind
plays with it. On one morning he told me he was
a cousin to the man named Cox who at the time when
I write is a candidate for the presidency. On
another morning he told me that Caruso the singer
had married a woman who was his sister-in-law.
“She is my wife’s sister,” he said,
holding the little dog close. His grey watery
eyes looked appealing up to me. He wanted me to
believe. “My wife was a sweet slim girl,”
he declared. “We lived together in a big
house and in the morning walked about arm in arm.
Now her sister has married Caruso the singer.
He is of my family now.”
As someone had told me the old man
had never married, I went away wondering. One
morning in early September I came upon him sitting
under a tree beside a path near his house. The
dog barked at me and then ran and crept into his arms.
At that time the Chicago newspapers were filled with
the story of a millionaire who had got into trouble
with his wife because of an intimacy with an actress.
The old man told me that the actress was his sister.
He is sixty years old and the actress whose story
appeared in the newspapers is twenty but he spoke of
their childhood together. “You would not
realize it to see us now but we were poor then,”
he said. “It’s true. We lived
in a little house on the side of a hill. Once
when there was a storm, the wind nearly swept our house
away. How the wind blew! Our father was a
carpenter and he built strong houses for other people
but our own house he did not build very strong!”
He shook his head sorrowfully. “My sister
the actress has got into trouble. Our house is
not built very strongly,” he said as I went
away along the path.
* * * *
For a month, two months, the Chicago
newspapers, that are delivered every morning in our
village, have been filled with the story of a murder.
A man there has murdered his wife and there seems no
reason for the deed. The tale runs something
like this—
The man, who is now on trial in the
courts and will no doubt be hanged, worked in a bicycle
factory where he was a foreman and lived with his
wife and his wife’s mother in an apartment in
Thirty-second Street. He loved a girl who worked
in the office of the factory where he was employed.
She came from a town in Iowa and when she first came
to the city lived with her aunt who has since died.
To the foreman, a heavy stolid looking man with grey
eyes, she seemed the most beautiful woman in the world.
Her desk was by a window at an angle of the factory,
a sort of wing of the building, and the foreman, down
in the shop had a desk by another window. He
sat at his desk making out sheets containing the record
of the work done by each man in his department.
When he looked up he could see the girl sitting at
work at her desk. The notion got into his head
that she was peculiarly lovely. He did not think
of trying to draw close to her or of winning her love.
He looked at her as one might look at a star or across
a country of low hills in October when the leaves
of the trees are all red and yellow gold. “She
is a pure, virginal thing,” he thought vaguely.
“What can she be thinking about as she sits
there by the window at work.”
In fancy the foreman took the girl
from Iowa home with him to his apartment in Thirty-second
Street and into the presence of his wife and his mother-in-law.
All day in the shop and during the evening at home
he carried her figure about with him in his mind.
As he stood by a window in his apartment and looked
out toward the Illinois Central railroad tracks and
beyond the tracks to the lake, the girl was there
beside him. Down below women walked in the street
and in every woman he saw there was something of the
Iowa girl. One woman walked as she did, another
made a gesture with her hand that reminded of her.
All the women he saw except his wife and his mother-in-law
were like the girl he had taken inside himself.
The two women in his own house puzzled
and confused him. They became suddenly unlovely
and commonplace. His wife in particular was like
some strange unlovely growth that had attached itself
to his body.
In the evening after the day at the
factory he went home to his own place and had dinner.
He had always been a silent man and when he did not
talk no one minded. After dinner he with his wife
went to a picture show. There were two children
and his wife expected another. They came into
the apartment and sat down. The climb up two flights
of stairs had wearied his wife. She sat in a
chair beside her mother groaning with weariness.
The mother-in-law was the soul of
goodness. She took the place of a servant in
the home and got no pay. When her daughter wanted
to go to a picture show she waved her hand and smiled.
“Go on,” she said. “I don’t
want to go. I’d rather sit here.”
She got a book and sat reading. The little boy
of nine awoke and cried. He wanted to sit on the
po-po. The mother-in-law attended to that.
After the man and his wife came home
the three people sat in silence for an hour or two
before bed time. The man pretended to read a
newspaper. He looked at his hands. Although
he had washed them carefully grease from the bicycle
frames left dark stains under the nails. He thought
of the Iowa girl and of her white quick hands playing
over the keys of a typewriter. He felt dirty and
uncomfortable.
The girl at the factory knew the foreman
had fallen in love with her and the thought excited
her a little. Since her aunt’s death she
had gone to live in a rooming house and had nothing
to do in the evening. Although the foreman meant
nothing to her she could in a way use him. To
her he became a symbol. Sometimes he came into
the office and stood for a moment by the door.
His large hands were covered with black grease.
She looked at him without seeing. In his place
in her imagination stood a tall slender young man.
Of the foreman she saw only the grey eyes that began
to burn with a strange fire. The eyes expressed
eagerness, a humble and devout eagerness. In the
presence of a man with such eyes she felt she need
not be afraid.
She wanted a lover who would come
to her with such a look in his eyes. Occasionally,
perhaps once in two weeks, she stayed a little late
at the office, pretending to have work that must be
finished. Through the window she could see the
foreman waiting. When everyone had gone she closed
her desk and went into the street. At the same
moment the foreman came out at the factory door.
They walked together along the street
a half dozen blocks to where she got aboard her car.
The factory was in a place called South Chicago and
as they went along evening was coming on. The
streets were lined with small unpainted frame houses
and dirty faced children ran screaming in the dusty
roadway. They crossed over a bridge. Two
abandoned coal barges lay rotting in the stream.
He went by her side walking heavily
and striving to conceal his hands. He had scrubbed
them carefully before leaving the factory but they
seemed to him like heavy dirty pieces of waste matter
hanging at his side. Their walking together happened
but a few times and during one summer. “It’s
hot,” he said. He never spoke to her of
anything but the weather. “It’s hot,”
he said. “I think it may rain.”
She dreamed of the lover who would
some time come, a tall fair young man, a rich man
owning houses and lands. The workingman who walked
beside her had nothing to do with her conception of
love. She walked with him, stayed at the office
until the others had gone to walk unobserved with
him because of his eyes, because of the eager thing
in his eyes that was at the same time humble, that
bowed down to her. In his presence there was
no danger, could be no danger. He would never
attempt to approach too closely, to touch her with
his hands. She was safe with him.
In his apartment in the evening the
man sat under the electric light with his wife and
his mother-in-law. In the next room his two children
were asleep. In a short time his wife would have
another child. He had been with her to a picture
show and in a short time they would get into bed together.
He would lie awake thinking, would
hear the creaking of the springs of a bed where, in
another room, his mother-in-law was crawling between
the sheets. Life was too intimate. He would
lie awake eager, expectant —expecting,
what?
Nothing. Presently one of the
children would cry. It wanted to get out of bed
and sit on the po-po. Nothing strange or unusual
or lovely would or could happen. Life was too
close, intimate. Nothing that could happen in
the apartment could in any way stir him; the things
his wife might say, her occasional half-hearted outbursts
of passion, the goodness of his mother-in-law who
did the work of a servant without pay—
He sat in the apartment under the
electric light pretending to read a newspaper—thinking.
He looked at his hands. They were large, shapeless,
a working-man’s hands.
The figure of the girl from Iowa walked
about the room. With her he went out of the apartment
and walked in silence through miles of streets.
It was not necessary to say words. He walked with
her by a sea, along the crest of a mountain.
The night was clear and silent and the stars shone.
She also was a star. It was not necessary to say
words.
Her eyes were like stars and her lips
were like soft hills rising out of dim, star lit plains.
“She is unattainable, she is far off like the
stars,” he thought. “She is unattainable
like the stars but unlike the stars she breathes,
she lives, like myself she has being.”
One evening, some six weeks ago, the
man who worked as foreman in the bicycle factory killed
his wife and he is now in the courts being tried for
murder. Every day the newspapers are filled with
the story. On the evening of the murder he had
taken his wife as usual to a picture show and they
started home at nine. In Thirty-second Street,
at a corner near their apartment building, the figure
of a man darted suddenly out of an alleyway and then
darted back again. The incident may have put
the idea of killing his wife into the man’s head.
They got to the entrance to the apartment
building and stepped into a dark hallway. Then
quite suddenly and apparently without thought the
man took a knife out of his pocket. “Suppose
that man who darted into the alleyway had intended
to kill us,” he thought. Opening the knife
he whirled about and struck at his wife. He struck
twice, a dozen times— madly. There
was a scream and his wife’s body fell.
The janitor had neglected to light
the gas in the lower hallway. Afterwards, the
foreman, decided, that was the reason he did it, that
and the fact that the dark slinking figure of a man
darted out of an alleyway and then darted back again.
“Surely,” he told himself, “I could
never have done it had the gas been lighted.”
He stood in the hallway thinking.
His wife was dead and with her had died her unborn
child. There was a sound of doors opening in the
apartments above. For several minutes nothing
happened. His wife and her unborn child were
dead—that was all.
He ran upstairs thinking quickly.
In the darkness on the lower stairway he had put the
knife back into his pocket and, as it turned out later,
there was no blood on his hands or on his clothes.
The knife he later washed carefully in the bathroom,
when the excitement had died down a little. He
told everyone the same story. “There has
been a holdup,” he explained. “A
man came slinking out of an alleyway and followed me
and my wife home. He followed us into the hallway
of the building and there was no light. The janitor
has neglected to light the gas.” Well—there
had been a struggle and in the darkness his wife had
been killed. He could not tell how it had happened.
“There was no light. The janitor has neglected
to light the gas,” he kept saying.
For a day or two they did not question
him specially and he had time to get rid of the knife.
He took a long walk and threw it away into the river
in South Chicago where the two abandoned coal barges
lay rotting under the bridge, the bridge he had crossed
when on the summer evenings he walked to the street
car with the girl who was virginal and pure, who was
far off and unattainable, like a star and yet not like
a star.
And then he was arrested and right
away he confessed—told everything.
He said he did not know why he killed his wife and
was careful to say nothing of the girl at the office.
The newspapers tried to discover the motive for the
crime. They are still trying. Someone had
seen him on the few evenings when he walked with the
girl and she was dragged into the affair and had her
picture printed in the papers. That has been
annoying for her as of course she has been able to
prove she had nothing to do with the man.
* * *
Yesterday morning a heavy fog lay
over our village here at the edge of the city and
I went for a long walk in the early morning. As
I returned out of the lowlands into our hill country
I met the old man whose family has so many and such
strange ramifications. For a time he walked beside
me holding the little dog in his arms. It was
cold and the dog whined and shivered. In the
fog the old man’s face was indistinct. It
moved slowly back and forth with the fog banks of the
upper air and with the tops of trees. He spoke
of the man who has killed his wife and whose name
is being shouted in the pages of the city newspapers
that come to our village each morning. As he
walked beside me he launched into a long tale concerning
a life he and his brother, who has now become a murderer,
once lived together. “He is my brother,”
he said over and over, shaking his head. He seemed
afraid I would not believe. There was a fact
that must be established. “We were boys
together that man and I,” he began again.
“You see we played together in a barn back of
our father’s house. Our father went away
to sea in a ship. That is the way our names became
confused. You understand that. We have different
names, but we are brothers. We had the same father.
We played together in a barn back of our father’s
house. For hours we lay together in the hay in
the barn and it was warm there.”
In the fog the slender body of the
old man became like a little gnarled tree. Then
it became a thing suspended in air. It swung back
and forth like a body hanging on the gallows.
The face beseeched me to believe the story the lips
were trying to tell. In my mind everything concerning
the relationship of men and women became confused,
a muddle. The spirit of the man who had killed
his wife came into the body of the little old man
there by the roadside.
It was striving to tell me the story
it would never be able to tell in the court room in
the city, in the presence of the judge. The whole
story of mankind’s loneliness, of the effort
to reach out to unattainable beauty tried to get itself
expressed from the lips of a mumbling old man, crazed
with loneliness, who stood by the side of a country
road on a foggy morning holding a little dog in his
arms.
The arms of the old man held the dog
so closely that it began to whine with pain.
A sort of convulsion shook his body. The soul
seemed striving to wrench itself out of the body,
to fly away through the fog, down across the plain
to the city, to the singer, the politician, the millionaire,
the murderer, to its brothers, cousins, sisters, down
in the city. The intensity of the old man’s
desire was terrible and in sympathy my body began
to tremble. His arms tightened about the body
of the little dog so that it cried with pain.
I stepped forward and tore the arms away and the dog
fell to the ground and lay whining. No doubt
it had been injured. Perhaps ribs had been crushed.
The old man stared at the dog lying at his feet as
in the hallway of the apartment building the worker
from the bicycle factory had stared at his dead wife.
“We are brothers,” he said again.
“We have different names but we are brothers.
Our father you understand went off to sea.”
* * *
*
I am sitting in my house in the country
and it rains. Before my eyes the hills fall suddenly
away and there are the flat plains and beyond the
plains the city. An hour ago the old man of the
house in the forest went past my door and the little
dog was not with him. It may be that as we talked
in the fog he crushed the life out of his companion.
It may be that the dog like the workman’s wife
and her unborn child is now dead. The leaves
of the trees that line the road before my window are
falling like rain—the yellow, red and golden
leaves fall straight down, heavily. The rain
beat them brutally down. They are denied a last
golden flash across the sky. In October leaves
should be carried away, out over the plains, in a
wind. They should go dancing away.