Mary Cochran went out of the rooms
where she lived with her father, Doctor Lester Cochran,
at seven o’clock on a Sunday evening. It
was June of the year nineteen hundred and eight and
Mary was eighteen years old. She walked along
Tremont to Main Street and across the railroad tracks
to Upper Main, lined with small shops and shoddy houses,
a rather quiet cheerless place on Sundays when there
were few people about. She had told her father
she was going to church but did not intend doing anything
of the kind. She did not know what she wanted
to do. “I’ll get off by myself and
think,” she told herself as she walked slowly
along. The night she thought promised to be too
fine to be spent sitting in a stuffy church and hearing
a man talk of things that had apparently nothing to
do with her own problem. Her own affairs were
approaching a crisis and it was time for her to begin
thinking seriously of her future.
The thoughtful serious state of mind
in which Mary found herself had been induced in her
by a conversation had with her father on the evening
before. Without any preliminary talk and quite
suddenly and abruptly he had told her that he was
a victim of heart disease and might die at any moment.
He had made the announcement as they stood together
in the Doctor’s office, back of which were the
rooms in which the father and daughter lived.
It was growing dark outside when she
came into the office and found him sitting alone.
The office and living rooms were on the second floor
of an old frame building in the town of Huntersburg,
Illinois, and as the Doctor talked he stood beside
his daughter near one of the windows that looked down
into Tremont Street. The hushed murmur of the
town’s Saturday night life went on in Main Street
just around a corner, and the evening train, bound
to Chicago fifty miles to the east, had just passed.
The hotel bus came rattling out of Lincoln Street and
went through Tremont toward the hotel on Lower Main.
A cloud of dust kicked up by the horses’ hoofs
floated on the quiet air. A straggling group of
people followed the bus and the row of hitching posts
on Tremont Street was already lined with buggies in
which farmers and their wives had driven into town
for the evening of shopping and gossip.
After the station bus had passed three
or four more buggies were driven into the street.
From one of them a young man helped his sweetheart
to alight. He took hold of her arm with a certain
air of tenderness, and a hunger to be touched thus
tenderly by a man’s hand, that had come to Mary
many times before, returned at almost the same moment
her father made the announcement of his approaching
death.
As the Doctor began to speak Barney
Smithfield, who owned a livery barn that opened into
Tremont Street directly opposite the building in which
the Cochrans lived, came back to his place of business
from his evening meal. He stopped to tell a story
to a group of men gathered before the barn door and
a shout of laughter arose. One of the loungers
in the street, a strongly built young man in a checkered
suit, stepped away from the others and stood before
the liveryman. Having seen Mary he was trying
to attract her attention. He also began to tell
a story and as he talked he gesticulated, waved his
arms and from time to time looked over his shoulder
to see if the girl still stood by the window and if
she were watching.
Doctor Cochran had told his daughter
of his approaching death in a cold quiet voice.
To the girl it had seemed that everything concerning
her father must be cold and quiet. “I have
a disease of the heart,” he said flatly, “have
long suspected there was something of the sort the
matter with me and on Thursday when I went into Chicago
I had myself examined. The truth is I may die
at any moment. I would not tell you but for one
reason—I will leave little money and you
must be making plans for the future.”
The Doctor stepped nearer the window
where his daughter stood with her hand on the frame.
The announcement had made her a little pale and her
hand trembled. In spite of his apparent coldness
he was touched and wanted to reassure her. “There
now,” he said hesitatingly, “it’ll
likely be all right after all. Don’t worry.
I haven’t been a doctor for thirty years without
knowing there’s a great deal of nonsense about
these pronouncements on the part of experts. In
a matter like this, that is to say when a man has
a disease of the heart, he may putter about for years.”
He laughed uncomfortably. “I’ve even
heard it said that the best way to insure a long life
is to contract a disease of the heart.”
With these words the Doctor had turned
and walked out of his office, going down a wooden
stairway to the street. He had wanted to put his
arm about his daughter’s shoulder as he talked
to her, but never having shown any feeling in his
relations with her could not sufficiently release
some tight thing in himself.
Mary had stood for a long time looking
down into the street. The young man in the checkered
suit, whose name was Duke Yetter, had finished telling
his tale and a shout of laughter arose. She turned
to look toward the door through which her father had
passed and dread took possession of her. In all
her life there had never been anything warm and close.
She shivered although the night was warm and with a
quick girlish gesture passed her hand over her eyes.
The gesture was but an expression
of a desire to brush away the cloud of fear that had
settled down upon her but it was misinterpreted by
Duke Yetter who now stood a little apart from the other
men before the livery barn. When he saw Mary’s
hand go up he smiled and turning quickly to be sure
he was unobserved began jerking his head and making
motions with his hand as a sign that he wished her
to come down into the street where he would have an
opportunity to join her.
* * * *
On the Sunday evening Mary, having
walked through Upper Main, turned into Wilmott, a
street of workmens’ houses. During that
year the first sign of the march of factories westward
from Chicago into the prairie towns had come to Huntersburg.
A Chicago manufacturer of furniture had built a plant
in the sleepy little farming town, hoping thus to escape
the labor organizations that had begun to give him
trouble in the city. At the upper end of town,
in Wilmott, Swift, Harrison and Chestnut Streets and
in cheap, badly-constructed frame houses, most of the
factory workers lived. On the warm summer evening
they were gathered on the porches at the front of
the houses and a mob of children played in the dusty
streets. Red-faced men in white shirts and without
collars and coats slept in chairs or lay sprawled
on strips of grass or on the hard earth before the
doors of the houses. The laborers’ wives
had gathered in groups and stood gossiping by the
fences that separated the yards. Occasionally
the voice of one of the women arose sharp and distinct
above the steady flow of voices that ran like a murmuring
river through the hot little streets.
In the roadway two children had got
into a fight. A thick-shouldered red-haired boy
struck another boy who had a pale sharp-featured face,
a blow on the shoulder. Other children came running.
The mother of the red-haired boy brought the promised
fight to an end. “Stop it Johnny, I tell
you to stop it. I’ll break your neck if
you don’t,” the woman screamed.
The pale boy turned and walked away
from his antagonist. As he went slinking along
the sidewalk past Mary Cochran his sharp little eyes,
burning with hatred, looked up at her.
Mary went quickly along. The
strange new part of her native town with the hubbub
of life always stirring and asserting itself had a
strong fascination for her. There was something
dark and resentful in her own nature that made her
feel at home in the crowded place where life carried
itself off darkly, with a blow and an oath. The
habitual silence of her father and the mystery concerning
the unhappy married life of her father and mother,
that had affected the attitude toward her of the people
of the town, had made her own life a lonely one and
had encouraged in her a rather dogged determination
to in some way think her own way through the things
of life she could not understand.
And back of Mary’s thinking
there was an intense curiosity and a courageous determination
toward adventure. She was like a little animal
of the forest that has been robbed of its mother by
the gun of a sportsman and has been driven by hunger
to go forth and seek food. Twenty times during
the year she had walked alone at evening in the new
and fast growing factory district of her town.
She was eighteen and had begun to look like a woman,
and she felt that other girls of the town of her own
age would not have dared to walk in such a place alone.
The feeling made her somewhat proud and as she went
along she looked boldly about.
Among the workers in Wilmott Street,
men and women who had been brought to town by the
furniture manufacturer, were many who spoke in foreign
tongues. Mary walked among them and liked the
sound of the strange voices. To be in the street
made her feel that she had gone out of her town and
on a voyage into a strange land. In Lower Main
Street or in the residence streets in the eastern
part of town where lived the young men and women she
had always known and where lived also the merchants,
the clerks, the lawyers and the more well-to-do American
workmen of Huntersburg, she felt always a secret antagonism
to herself. The antagonism was not due to anything
in her own character. She was sure of that.
She had kept so much to herself that she was in fact
but little known. “It is because I am the
daughter of my mother,” she told herself and
did not walk often in the part of town where other
girls of her class lived.
Mary had been so often in Wilmott
Street that many of the people had begun to feel acquainted
with her. “She is the daughter of some farmer
and has got into the habit of walking into town,”
they said. A red-haired, broad-hipped woman
who came out at the front door of one of the houses
nodded to her. On a narrow strip of grass beside
another house sat a young man with his back against
a tree. He was smoking a pipe, but when he looked
up and saw her he took the pipe from his mouth.
She decided he must be an Italian, his hair and eyes
were so black. “Ne bella! si fai un onore
a passare di qua,” he called waving his hand
and smiling.
Mary went to the end of Wilmott Street
and came out upon a country road. It seemed to
her that a long time must have passed since she left
her father’s presence although the walk had in
fact occupied but a few minutes. By the side
of the road and on top of a small hill there was a
ruined barn, and before the barn a great hole filled
with the charred timbers of what had once been a farmhouse.
A pile of stones lay beside the hole and these were
covered with creeping vines. Between the site
of the house and the barn there was an old orchard
in which grew a mass of tangled weeds.
Pushing her way in among the weeds,
many of which were covered with blossoms, Mary found
herself a seat on a rock that had been rolled against
the trunk of an old apple tree. The weeds half
concealed her and from the road only her head was
visible. Buried away thus in the weeds she looked
like a quail that runs in the tall grass and that on
hearing some unusual sound, stops, throws up its head
and looks sharply about.
The doctor’s daughter had been
to the decayed old orchard many times before.
At the foot of the hill on which it stood the streets
of the town began, and as she sat on the rock she
could hear faint shouts and cries coming out of Wilmott
Street. A hedge separated the orchard from the
fields on the hillside. Mary intended to sit by
the tree until darkness came creeping over the land
and to try to think out some plan regarding her future.
The notion that her father was soon to die seemed
both true and untrue, but her mind was unable to take
hold of the thought of him as physically dead.
For the moment death in relation to her father did
not take the form of a cold inanimate body that was
to be buried in the ground, instead it seemed to her
that her father was not to die but to go away somewhere
on a journey. Long ago her mother had done that.
There was a strange hesitating sense of relief in the
thought. “Well,” she told herself,
“when the time comes I also shall be setting
out, I shall get out of here and into the world.”
On several occasions Mary had gone to spend a day
with her father in Chicago and she was fascinated
by the thought that soon she might be going there to
live. Before her mind’s eye floated a vision
of long streets filled with thousands of people all
strangers to herself. To go into such streets
and to live her life among strangers would be like
coming out of a waterless desert and into a cool forest
carpeted with tender young grass.
In Huntersburg she had always lived
under a cloud and now she was becoming a woman and
the close stuffy atmosphere she had always breathed
was becoming constantly more and more oppressive.
It was true no direct question had ever been raised
touching her own standing in the community life, but
she felt that a kind of prejudice against her existed.
While she was still a baby there had been a scandal
involving her father and mother. The town of
Huntersburg had rocked with it and when she was a
child people had sometimes looked at her with mocking
sympathetic eyes. “Poor child! It’s
too bad,” they said. Once, on a cloudy
summer evening when her father had driven off to the
country and she sat alone in the darkness by his office
window, she heard a man and woman in the street mention
her name. The couple stumbled along in the darkness
on the sidewalk below the office window. “That
daughter of Doc Cochran’s is a nice girl,”
said the man. The woman laughed. “She’s
growing up and attracting men’s attention now.
Better keep your eyes in your head. She’ll
turn out bad. Like mother, like daughter,”
the woman replied.
For ten or fifteen minutes Mary sat
on the stone beneath the tree in the orchard and thought
of the attitude of the town toward herself and her
father. “It should have drawn us together,”
she told herself, and wondered if the approach of
death would do what the cloud that had for years hung
over them had not done. It did not at the moment
seem to her cruel that the figure of death was soon
to visit her father. In a way Death had become
for her and for the time a lovely and gracious figure
intent upon good. The hand of death was to open
the door out of her father’s house and into
life. With the cruelty of youth she thought first
of the adventurous possibilities of the new life.
Mary sat very still. In the long
weeds the insects that had been disturbed in their
evening song began to sing again. A robin flew
into the tree beneath which she sat and struck a clear
sharp note of alarm. The voices of people in
the town’s new factory district came softly up
the hillside. They were like bells of distant
cathedrals calling people to worship. Something
within the girl’s breast seemed to break and
putting her head into her hands she rocked slowly back
and forth. Tears came accompanied by a warm tender
impulse toward the living men and women of Huntersburg.
And then from the road came a call.
“Hello there kid,” shouted a voice, and
Mary sprang quickly to her feet. Her mellow mood
passed like a puff of wind and in its place hot anger
came.
In the road stood Duke Yetter who
from his loafing place before the livery barn had
seen her set out for the Sunday evening walk and had
followed. When she went through Upper Main Street
and into the new factory district he was sure of his
conquest. “She doesn’t want to be
seen walking with me,” he had told himself, “that’s
all right. She knows well enough I’ll follow
but doesn’t want me to put in an appearance
until she is well out of sight of her friends.
She’s a little stuck up and needs to be brought
down a peg, but what do I care? She’s gone
out of her way to give me this chance and maybe she’s
only afraid of her dad.”
Duke climbed the little incline out
of the road and came into the orchard, but when he
reached the pile of stones covered by vines he stumbled
and fell. He arose and laughed. Mary had
not waited for him to reach her but had started toward
him, and when his laugh broke the silence that lay
over the orchard she sprang forward and with her open
hand struck him a sharp blow on the cheek. Then
she turned and as he stood with his feet tangled in
the vines ran out to the road. “If you
follow or speak to me I’ll get someone to kill
you,” she shouted.
Mary walked along the road and down
the hill toward Wilmott Street. Broken bits of
the story concerning her mother that had for years
circulated in town had reached her ears. Her mother,
it was said, had disappeared on a summer night long
ago and a young town rough, who had been in the habit
of loitering before Barney Smithfield’s Livery
Barn, had gone away with her. Now another young
rough was trying to make up to her. The thought
made her furious.
Her mind groped about striving to
lay hold of some weapon with which she could strike
a more telling blow at Duke Yetter. In desperation
it lit upon the figure of her father already broken
in health and now about to die. “My father
just wants the chance to kill some such fellow as
you,” she shouted, turning to face the young
man, who having got clear of the mass of vines in
the orchard, had followed her into the road.
“My father just wants to kill someone because
of the lies that have been told in this town about
mother.”
Having given way to the impulse to
threaten Duke Yetter Mary was instantly ashamed of
her outburst and walked rapidly along, the tears running
from her eyes. With hanging head Duke walked at
her heels. “I didn’t mean no harm,
Miss Cochran,” he pleaded. “I didn’t
mean no harm. Don’t tell your father.
I was only funning with you. I tell you I didn’t
mean no harm.”
* * *
The light of the summer evening had
begun to fall and the faces of the people made soft
little ovals of light as they stood grouped under the
dark porches or by the fences in Wilmott Street.
The voices of the children had become subdued and
they also stood in groups. They became silent
as Mary passed and stood with upturned faces and staring
eyes. “The lady doesn’t live very
far. She must be almost a neighbor,” she
heard a woman’s voice saying in English.
When she turned her head she saw only a crowd of dark-skinned
men standing before a house. From within the
house came the sound of a woman’s voice singing
a child to sleep.
The young Italian, who had called
to her earlier in the evening and who was now apparently
setting out of his own Sunday evening’s adventures,
came along the sidewalk and walked quickly away into
the darkness. He had dressed himself in his Sunday
clothes and had put on a black derby hat and a stiff
white collar, set off by a red necktie. The shining
whiteness of the collar made his brown skin look almost
black. He smiled boyishly and raised his hat
awkwardly but did not speak.
Mary kept looking back along the street
to be sure Duke Yetter had not followed but in the
dim light could see nothing of him. Her angry
excited mood went away.
She did not want to go home and decided
it was too late to go to church. From Upper Main
Street there was a short street that ran eastward
and fell rather sharply down a hillside to a creek
and a bridge that marked the end of the town’s
growth in that direction. She went down along
the street to the bridge and stood in the failing light
watching two boys who were fishing in the creek.
A broad-shouldered man dressed in
rough clothes came down along the street and stopping
on the bridge spoke to her. It was the first time
she had ever heard a citizen of her home town speak
with feeling of her father. “You are Doctor
Cochran’s daughter?” he asked hesitatingly.
“I guess you don’t know who I am but your
father does.” He pointed toward the two
boys who sat with fishpoles in their hands on the weed-grown
bank of the creek. “Those are my boys and
I have four other children,” he explained.
“There is another boy and I have three girls.
One of my daughters has a job in a store. She
is as old as yourself.” The man explained
his relations with Doctor Cochran. He had been
a farm laborer, he said, and had but recently moved
to town to work in the furniture factory. During
the previous winter he had been ill for a long time
and had no money. While he lay in bed one of his
boys fell out of a barn loft and there was a terrible
cut in his head.
“Your father came every day
to see us and he sewed up my Tom’s head.”
The laborer turned away from Mary and stood with his
cap in his hand looking toward the boys. “I
was down and out and your father not only took care
of me and the boys but he gave my old woman money to
buy the things we had to have from the stores in town
here, groceries and medicines.” The man
spoke in such low tones that Mary had to lean forward
to hear his words. Her face almost touched the
laborer’s shoulder. “Your father
is a good man and I don’t think he is very happy,”
he went on. “The boy and I got well and
I got work here in town but he wouldn’t take
any money from me. ’You know how to live
with your children and with your wife. You know
how to make them happy. Keep your money and spend
it on them,’ that’s what he said to me.”
The laborer went on across the bridge
and along the creek bank toward the spot where his
two sons sat fishing and Mary leaned on the railing
of the bridge and looked at the slow moving water.
It was almost black in the shadows under the bridge
and she thought that it was thus her father’s
life had been lived. “It has been like a
stream running always in shadows and never coming
out into the sunlight,” she thought, and fear
that her own life would run on in darkness gripped
her. A great new love for her father swept over
her and in fancy she felt his arms about her.
As a child she had continually dreamed of caresses
received at her father’s hands and now the dream
came back. For a long time she stood looking
at the stream and she resolved that the night should
not pass without an effort on her part to make the
old dream come true. When she again looked up
the laborer had built a little fire of sticks at the
edge of the stream. “We catch bullheads
here,” he called. “The light of the
fire draws them close to the shore. If you want
to come and try your hand at fishing the boys will
lend you one of the poles.”
“O, I thank you, I won’t
do it tonight,” Mary said, and then fearing
she might suddenly begin weeping and that if the man
spoke to her again she would find herself unable to
answer, she hurried away. “Good bye!”
shouted the man and the two boys. The words came
quite spontaneously out of the three throats and created
a sharp trumpet-like effect that rang like a glad
cry across the heaviness of her mood.
* * *
When his daughter Mary went out for
her evening walk Doctor Cochran sat for an hour alone
in his office. It began to grow dark and the men
who all afternoon had been sitting on chairs and boxes
before the livery barn across the street went home
for the evening meal. The noise of voices grew
faint and sometimes for five or ten minutes there was
silence. Then from some distant street came a
child’s cry. Presently church bells began
to ring.
The Doctor was not a very neat man
and sometimes for several days he forgot to shave.
With a long lean hand he stroked his half grown beard.
His illness had struck deeper than he had admitted
even to himself and his mind had an inclination to
float out of his body. Often when he sat thus
his hands lay in his lap and he looked at them with
a child’s absorption. It seemed to him
they must belong to someone else. He grew philosophic.
“It’s an odd thing about my body.
Here I’ve lived in it all these years and how
little use I have had of it. Now it’s going
to die and decay never having been used. I wonder
why it did not get another tenant.” He
smiled sadly over this fancy but went on with it.
“Well I’ve had thoughts enough concerning
people and I’ve had the use of these lips and
a tongue but I’ve let them lie idle. When
my Ellen was here living with me I let her think me
cold and unfeeling while something within me was straining
and straining trying to tear itself loose.”
He remembered how often, as a young
man, he had sat in the evening in silence beside his
wife in this same office and how his hands had ached
to reach across the narrow space that separated them
and touch her hands, her face, her hair.
Well, everyone in town had predicted
his marriage would turn out badly! His wife had
been an actress with a company that came to Huntersburg
and got stranded there. At the same time the girl
became ill and had no money to pay for her room at
the hotel. The young doctor had attended to that
and when the girl was convalescent took her to ride
about the country in his buggy. Her life had
been a hard one and the notion of leading a quiet
existence in the little town appealed to her.
And then after the marriage and after
the child was born she had suddenly found herself
unable to go on living with the silent cold man.
There had been a story of her having run away with
a young sport, the son of a saloon keeper who had
disappeared from town at the same time, but the story
was untrue. Lester Cochran had himself taken her
to Chicago where she got work with a company going
into the far western states. Then he had taken
her to the door of her hotel, had put money into her
hands and in silence and without even a farewell kiss
had turned and walked away.
The Doctor sat in his office living
over that moment and other intense moments when he
had been deeply stirred and had been on the surface
so cool and quiet. He wondered if the woman had
known. How many times he had asked himself that
question. After he left her that night at the
hotel door she never wrote. “Perhaps she
is dead,” he thought for the thousandth time.
A thing happened that had been happening
at odd moments for more than a year. In Doctor
Cochran’s mind the remembered figure of his wife
became confused with the figure of his daughter.
When at such moments he tried to separate the two
figures, to make them stand out distinct from each
other, he was unsuccessful. Turning his head slightly
he imagined he saw a white girlish figure coming through
a door out of the rooms in which he and his daughter
lived. The door was painted white and swung slowly
in a light breeze that came in at an open window.
The wind ran softly and quietly through the room and
played over some papers lying on a desk in a corner.
There was a soft swishing sound as of a woman’s
skirts. The doctor arose and stood trembling.
“Which is it? Is it you Mary or is it Ellen?”
he asked huskily.
On the stairway leading up from the
street there was the sound of heavy feet and the outer
door opened. The doctor’s weak heart fluttered
and he dropped heavily back into his chair.
A man came into the room. He
was a farmer, one of the doctor’s patients,
and coming to the centre of the room he struck a match,
held it above his head and shouted. “Hello!”
he called. When the doctor arose from his chair
and answered he was so startled that the match fell
from his hand and lay burning faintly at his feet.
The young farmer had sturdy legs that
were like two pillars of stone supporting a heavy
building, and the little flame of the match that burned
and fluttered in the light breeze on the floor between
his feet threw dancing shadows along the walls of
the room. The doctor’s confused mind refused
to clear itself of his fancies that now began to feed
upon this new situation.
He forgot the presence of the farmer
and his mind raced back over his life as a married
man. The flickering light on the wall recalled
another dancing light. One afternoon in the summer
during the first year after his marriage his wife
Ellen had driven with him into the country. They
were then furnishing their rooms and at a farmer’s
house Ellen had seen an old mirror, no longer in use,
standing against a wall in a shed. Because of
something quaint in the design the mirror had taken
her fancy and the farmer’s wife had given it
to her. On the drive home the young wife had
told her husband of her pregnancy and the doctor had
been stirred as never before. He sat holding the
mirror on his knees while his wife drove and when
she announced the coming of the child she looked away
across the fields.
How deeply etched, that scene in the
sick man’s mind! The sun was going down
over young corn and oat fields beside the road.
The prairie land was black and occasionally the road
ran through short lanes of trees that also looked
black in the waning light.
The mirror on his knees caught the
rays of the departing sun and sent a great ball of
golden light dancing across the fields and among the
branches of trees. Now as he stood in the presence
of the farmer and as the little light from the burning
match on the floor recalled that other evening of
dancing lights, he thought he understood the failure
of his marriage and of his life. On that evening
long ago when Ellen had told him of the coming of
the great adventure of their marriage he had remained
silent because he had thought no words he could utter
would express what he felt. There had been a defense
for himself built up. “I told myself she
should have understood without words and I’ve
all my life been telling myself the same thing about
Mary. I’ve been a fool and a coward.
I’ve always been silent because I’ve been
afraid of expressing myself—like a blundering
fool. I’ve been a proud man and a coward.
“Tonight I’ll do it.
If it kills me I’ll make myself talk to the girl,”
he said aloud, his mind coming back to the figure of
his daughter.
“Hey! What’s that?”
asked the farmer who stood with his hat in his hand
waiting to tell of his mission.
The doctor got his horse from Barney
Smithfield’s livery and drove off to the country
to attend the farmer’s wife who was about to
give birth to her first child. She was a slender
narrow-hipped woman and the child was large, but the
doctor was feverishly strong. He worked desperately
and the woman, who was frightened, groaned and struggled.
Her husband kept coming in and going out of the room
and two neighbor women appeared and stood silently
about waiting to be of service. It was past ten
o’clock when everything was done and the doctor
was ready to depart for town.
The farmer hitched his horse and brought
it to the door and the doctor drove off feeling strangely
weak and at the same time strong. How simple
now seemed the thing he had yet to do. Perhaps
when he got home his daughter would have gone to bed
but he would ask her to get up and come into the office.
Then he would tell the whole story of his marriage
and its failure sparing himself no humiliation.
“There was something very dear and beautiful
in my Ellen and I must make Mary understand that.
It will help her to be a beautiful woman,” he
thought, full of confidence in the strength of his
resolution.
He got to the door of the livery barn
at eleven o’clock and Barney Smithfield with
young Duke Yetter and two other men sat talking there.
The liveryman took his horse away into the darkness
of the barn and the doctor stood for a moment leaning
against the wall of the building. The town’s
night watchman stood with the group by the barn door
and a quarrel broke out between him and Duke Yetter,
but the doctor did not hear the hot words that flew
back and forth or Duke’s loud laughter at the
night watchman’s anger. A queer hesitating
mood had taken possession of him.
There was something he passionately
desired to do but could not remember. Did it
have to do with his wife Ellen or Mary his daughter?
The figures of the two women were again confused in
his mind and to add to the confusion there was a third
figure, that of the woman he had just assisted through
child birth. Everything was confusion. He
started across the street toward the entrance of the
stairway leading to his office and then stopped in
the road and stared about. Barney Smithfield
having returned from putting his horse in the stall
shut the door of the barn and a hanging lantern over
the door swung back and forth. It threw grotesque
dancing shadows down over the faces and forms of the
men standing and quarreling beside the wall of the
barn.
* * *
*
Mary sat by a window in the doctor’s
office awaiting his return. So absorbed was she
in her own thoughts that she was unconscious of the
voice of Duke Yetter talking with the men in the street.
When Duke had come into the street
the hot anger of the early part of the evening had
returned and she again saw him advancing toward her
in the orchard with the look of arrogant male confidence
in his eyes but presently she forgot him and thought
only of her father. An incident of her childhood
returned to haunt her. One afternoon in the month
of May when she was fifteen her father had asked her
to accompany him on an evening drive into the country.
The doctor went to visit a sick woman at a farmhouse
five miles from town and as there had been a great
deal of rain the roads were heavy. It was dark
when they reached the farmer’s house and they
went into the kitchen and ate cold food off a kitchen
table. For some reason her father had, on that
evening, appeared boyish and almost gay. On the
road he had talked a little. Even at that early
age Mary had grown tall and her figure was becoming
womanly. After the cold supper in the farm kitchen
he walked with her around the house and she sat on
a narrow porch. For a moment her father stood
before her. He put his hands into his trouser
pockets and throwing back his head laughed almost
heartily. “It seems strange to think you
will soon be a woman,” he said. “When
you do become a woman what do you suppose is going
to happen, eh? What kind of a life will you lead?
What will happen to you?”
The doctor sat on the porch beside
the child and for a moment she had thought he was
about to put his arm around her. Then he jumped
up and went into the house leaving her to sit alone
in the darkness.
As she remembered the incident Mary
remembered also that on that evening of her childhood
she had met her father’s advances in silence.
It seemed to her that she, not her father, was to blame
for the life they had led together. The farm
laborer she had met on the bridge had not felt her
father’s coldness. That was because he had
himself been warm and generous in his attitude toward
the man who had cared for him in his hour of sickness
and misfortune. Her father had said that the
laborer knew how to be a father and Mary remembered
with what warmth the two boys fishing by the creek
had called to her as she went away into the darkness.
“Their father has known how to be a father because
his children have known how to give themselves,”
she thought guiltily. She also would give herself.
Before the night had passed she would do that.
On that evening long ago and as she rode home beside
her father he had made another unsuccessful effort
to break through the wall that separated them.
The heavy rains had swollen the streams they had to
cross and when they had almost reached town he had
stopped the horse on a wooden bridge. The horse
danced nervously about and her father held the reins
firmly and occasionally spoke to him. Beneath
the bridge the swollen stream made a great roaring
sound and beside the road in a long flat field there
was a lake of flood water. At that moment the
moon had come out from behind clouds and the wind
that blew across the water made little waves.
The lake of flood water was covered with dancing lights.
“I’m going to tell you about your mother
and myself,” her father said huskily, but at
that moment the timbers of the bridge began to crack
dangerously and the horse plunged forward. When
her father had regained control of the frightened
beast they were in the streets of the town and his
diffident silent nature had reasserted itself.
Mary sat in the darkness by the office
window and saw her father drive into the street.
When his horse had been put away he did not, as was
his custom, come at once up the stairway to the office
but lingered in the darkness before the barn door.
Once he started to cross the street and then returned
into the darkness.
Among the men who for two hours had
been sitting and talking quietly a quarrel broke out.
Jack Fisher the town nightwatchman had been telling
the others the story of a battle in which he had fought
during the Civil War and Duke Yetter had begun bantering
him. The nightwatchman grew angry. Grasping
his nightstick he limped up and down. The loud
voice of Duke Yetter cut across the shrill angry voice
of the victim of his wit. “You ought to
a flanked the fellow, I tell you Jack. Yes sir
’ee, you ought to a flanked that reb and then
when you got him flanked you ought to a knocked the
stuffings out of the cuss. That’s what I
would a done,” Duke shouted, laughing boisterously.
“You would a raised hell, you would,”
the night watchman answered, filled with ineffectual
wrath.
The old soldier went off along the
street followed by the laughter of Duke and his companions
and Barney Smithfield, having put the doctor’s
horse away, came out and closed the barn door.
A lantern hanging above the door swung back and forth.
Doctor Cochran again started across the street and
when he had reached the foot of the stairway turned
and shouted to the men. “Good night,”
he called cheerfully. A strand of hair was blown
by the light summer breeze across Mary’s cheek
and she jumped to her feet as though she had been
touched by a hand reached out to her from the darkness.
A hundred times she had seen her father return from
drives in the evening but never before had he said
anything at all to the loiterers by the barn door.
She became half convinced that not her father but
some other man was now coming up the stairway.
The heavy dragging footsteps rang
loudly on the wooden stairs and Mary heard her father
set down the little square medicine case he always
carried. The strange cheerful hearty mood of the
man continued but his mind was in a confused riot.
Mary imagined she could see his dark form in the doorway.
“The woman has had a baby,” said the hearty
voice from the landing outside the door. “Who
did that happen to? Was it Ellen or that other
woman or my little Mary?”
A stream of words, a protest came
from the man’s lips. “Who’s
been having a baby? I want to know. Who’s
been having a baby? Life doesn’t work out.
Why are babies always being born?” he asked.
A laugh broke from the doctor’s
lips and his daughter leaned forward and gripped the
arms of her chair. “A babe has been born,”
he said again. “It’s strange eh,
that my hands should have helped a baby be born while
all the time death stood at my elbow?”
Doctor Cochran stamped upon the floor
of the landing. “My feet are cold and numb
from waiting for life to come out of life,” he
said heavily. “The woman struggled and
now I must struggle.”
Silence followed the stamping of feet
and the tired heavy declaration from the sick man’s
lips. From the street below came another loud
shout of laughter from Duke Yetter.
And then Doctor Cochran fell backward
down the narrow stairs to the street. There was
no cry from him, just the clatter of his shoes upon
the stairs and the terrible subdued sound of the body
falling.
Mary did not move from her chair.
With closed eyes she waited. Her heart pounded.
A weakness complete and overmastering had possession
of her and from feet to head ran little waves of feeling
as though tiny creatures with soft hair-like feet
were playing upon her body.
It was Duke Yetter who carried the
dead man up the stairs and laid him on a bed in one
of the rooms back of the office. One of the men
who had been sitting with him before the door of the
barn followed lifting his hands and dropping them
nervously. Between his fingers he held a forgotten
cigarette the light from which danced up and down in
the darkness.