When Sally had gone, after an hour
of consultation on the various phases of the dinner,
Betty sat for some moments striving to call up something
from the depths of her brain, something that had smitten
it disagreeably as it fell, but sunk too quickly,
under a torrent of words, to be analyzed at the moment.
It had made an extremely unpleasant impression;—painful
perhaps would be a better word.
In the course of ten minutes she found
the sentence which had made the impression: “Mrs.
North is wonderfully improved, by the way; has not
been so well in twenty years.”
The words seemed to hang themselves
up in a row in her mind; they turned scarlet and rattled
loudly. Betty made no attempt to veil her mental
vision; she stared hard at the words and at the impression
they had produced. Mrs. North was out of danger,
and the fact was a bitter disappointment to her.
In spite of the resolute expulsion of the very shadow
of Mrs. North from her thought, her sub-consciousness
had conceived and brought forth and nurtured hope.
What had made her content to drift, what had made
her look with an almost philosophical eye on the future,
was the unadmitted certainty that in the natural course
of events a woman with a shattered constitution must
go her way and leave her husband free. Had he
thought of this? He must have, she concluded.
She was beginning to look facts squarely in the face;
it was an old habit with him, older than herself.
There never was a more practical brain.
For the first time in her life she
almost hated herself. She had done and felt many
things which she sincerely regretted, but this seemed
incomparably the worst. And despite her protest,
her bitter self-contempt, the sting of disappointment
remained; she could not extract it.
She went out and walked several miles,
as she always did when nervous and troubled.
She came to the conclusion that she was glad to have
heard this news to-day. She and Senator North
were to meet in the evening for the first time in
five months. She had looked forward to this meeting
with such a mingling of delight and terror that several
times she had been on the point of sending him word
not to come. But the impression Sally’s
information had made had hardened her. She was
so disappointed in herself, so humiliated to find that
a mortal may fancy himself treading the upper altitudes,
only to discover that the baser forces in the brain
are working independently of the will, that she felt
in anything but a melting mood. She knew that
this mood would pass; she had watched the workings
of the brain, its abrupt transitions and its reactions,
too long to hope that she suddenly had acquired great
and enduring strength. The future had not expelled
one jot of its dangers, perhaps had supplemented them,
but for the hour she not only was safe from herself,
but the necessity to turn him from her door had receded
one step.
She had intended to receive him in
the large and formal environment of the parlor, but
in her present mood the boudoir was safe, and she was
glad not to disappoint him; she knew that he loved
the room. And if her brain had sobered, her femininity
would endure unaltered for ever. She wore a charming
new gown of white crepe de chine flowing over a blue
petticoat, and a twist of blue in her hair. She
had written to him from New York when to call, and
he had sent a large box of lilies of the valley to
greet her. She had arranged them in a bowl, and
wore only a spray at her throat. Women with beautiful
figures seldom care for the erratic lines and curves
of the floral decoration. She heard him coming
down the corridor and caught her breath, but that was
all. She did not tremble nor change colour.
When he came in, he took both her
hands and looked at her steadily for a moment.
They made no attempt at formal greeting, and there
was no need of subterfuge of any sort between them.
No two mortals ever understood each other better.
“I see the change in you,”
he said. “I expected it. You have given
me a great deal, and your last survival of childhood
was not the least. The serious element has developed
itself, and you look the embodiment of an Ideal.”
He dropped her hands and walked to the end of the room.
When he returned and threw himself into a chair, she
knew that his face had changed, then been ordered
under control.
“What shall I talk to you about?”
he asked with an almost nervous laugh. “Politics?
Comparatively little happened in the Senate before
the holidays. The President’s message was
of peculiar interest to me, inasmuch as it indicated
that he is approaching Spain in the right way and
will succeed in both relieving the Cubans and averting
war if the fire-eaters will let him alone. The
Cubans probably will not listen to the offer of autonomy,
for it comes several years too late and their confidence
in Spain has gone forever; but I am hoping that while
this country is waiting to see the result, it will
come to its senses. The pressure upon us has
been intolerable. Both Houses have been flooded
with petitions and memorials by the thousands:
from Legislatures, Chambers of Commerce, Societies,
Churches, from associations of every sort, and from
perhaps a million citizens. The Capitol looks
like a paper factory. If autonomy fails soon
enough, or if some new chapter of horrors can be concocted
by the Yellow Press, or if the unforeseen happens,
war will come. The average Congressman and even
Senator does not resist the determined pressure of
his constituents, and to do them justice they have
talked themselves into believing that they are as
excited as the idle minds at home who are feeling dramatic
and calling it sympathy. And the average mind
hates to be on the unpopular side.
“Forgive me if I am bitter,”
he said, standing up suddenly and looking down on
her with a smile, “but a good many of us are,
just now. We can’t help it. A great
and just war would be met unflinchingly and with all
pride; but the prospect of this hysterical row between
a bull pup and a senile terrier fills us with impatience
and disgust. The President must feel that he
is expiating all the sins of the human race.
The only man in the United States to be envied, so
far, is the Speaker of the House; it is almost a satisfaction
to think that he looks like the monument he is; and
for the time being his importance overshadows the
President’s. If the President can hold on,
however, he will negotiate Spain out of this hemisphere
in less than a year.”
“I knew you were worried about
it,” she said softly. “I felt that
so keenly that I never lost an opportunity to war
against the war. I made enemies right and left,
and acquired a reputation for heartlessness.”
“Our minds are much alike,”
he said, staring down at her and dropping his voice
for a moment. “You may have done it for
me, but you are as sincere as I am. I have stimulated
your mind, that is all. How much you can do here
in Washington—among the men who legislate—I
cannot say. A woman who takes a high and definite
stand is always an influence for good; but the women
who influence men’s votes are not of your type.
They are women who sacrifice anything to gain their
ends, or those who have educated themselves to play
upon the vanity and other petty qualities of men;
every peg in their brain is hung with a political
trick. The only men who attract you are too strong
to vote under the influence of any woman, even if
they loved her. If Shattuc were not as obstinate
as a mule,” he added more lightly, “I should
ask you to convert him to the principles of sound
currency. That is another ugly cloud ahead:
there is going to be an attempt made to pass through
both Houses a concurrent resolution advocating the
free and unlimited coinage of silver and to pay the
public debt with it. As far as our honour goes,
the passing of such a resolution would affect us as
deeply as if it were to become a law. We should
stand before the world as willing and ready to violate
the national honour, ignore our pledges and recklessly
impair our credit. I don’t think the resolution
will pass the House, the Republican majority is too
strong there, but I am afraid it will pass the Senate;
although we are in the majority, a good many Republicans
are Western men and Silverites. A certain number
on both sides of the Chamber are voting merely to please
their constituents, feeling reasonably sure that the
resolution will fail in the House. They appear
to care little for the honour of the Senate; they
certainly have not the backbone to defy their constituents
if they do care for it. To the outside world
the Senate is a unit; every resolution that passes
it might come out of one gigantic skull at peace with
itself. This one will be passed by a small majority
who have not imagination enough to read the works
of future historians, nor even to grasp public opinion
as unexpressed by their constituents.
“There is one fact that the
second-rate politician never grasps,” he said,
walking impatiently up and down; Betty had never seen
him so restless. “That is, that the true
American respects convictions; no matter how many
fads he may conceive nor how loud he may clamour for
their indulgence, when his mind begins to balance methodically
again, he respects the man who told him he was wrong
and imperilled his own re-election rather than vote
against his convictions. Many a Senator has lost
re-election through yielding to pressure, for elections
do not always occur at the height of a popular agitation;
and when men have had time to cool off and think,
they despise and distrust the waverer. If you
will read the biographies in the Congressional Directory,
you will see that with a very few exceptions the New
Englanders are the only men who come back here—to
both Houses—term after term. They
practically are here for life; and the reason is that
they belong to the same hard-headed, clear-thinking,
unyielding, and puritanically upright race as the
men who elect them to office. They have their
faults, but they represent the iron backbone of this
country, and in spite of fads and aberrations, and
gales in general on the political sea, they will remain
the prevailing influence. If I speak seldom in
the Senate, I certainly make a good many speeches to
you. But I want you to understand all I can teach
you and to do what you can.”
“Yes,” she said, rising
abruptly, “I want an object in life, a vital
interest. I need it! A year ago I took up
politics out of curiosity and ennui; to-day they represent
a safeguard as well as a necessity. I cannot
write books nor paint pictures; charities bore me and
I never shall marry. My heart must go to the
wall, and my brain is very active. The more one
studies and observes politics the more absorbing they
become. But that is only a part of it. I
want to be of some use to the country, to accomplish
something for the public good; and it will be a form
of happiness to think that I am working with you—for
I certainly agree with you in all things, whatever
the cause. When the time comes that we meet in
public only, I can have that much happiness at least;
and I always shall know where I can help you—”
“The mere fact that you are
alive is help enough—and torment enough.
I shall go now. We have gotten through this first
meeting better than I had hoped.”
They both laughed a little as they
shook hands, for politics had cleared the air.