While this was doing, I was not altogether
careless of my other affairs; for I had a great concern
upon me for my little herd of goats: they were
not only a ready supply to me on every occasion,
and began to be sufficient for me, without the expense
of powder and shot, but also without the fatigue
of hunting after the wild ones; and I was loath to
lose the advantage of them, and to have them all
to nurse up over again.
For this purpose, after long consideration,
I could think of but two ways to preserve them:
one was, to find another convenient place to dig
a cave underground, and to drive them into it every
night; and the other was to enclose two or three
little bits of land, remote from one another, and
as much concealed as I could, where I might keep
about half-a-dozen young goats in each place; so
that if any disaster happened to the flock in general,
I might be able to raise them again with little trouble
and time: and this though it would require a
good deal of time and labour, I thought was the most
rational design.
Accordingly, I spent some time to
find out the most retired parts of the island; and
I pitched upon one, which was as private, indeed,
as my heart could wish: it was a little damp piece
of ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods,
where, as is observed, I almost lost myself once
before, endeavouring to come back that way from the
eastern part of the island. Here I found a
clear piece of land, near three acres, so surrounded
with woods that it was almost an enclosure by nature;
at least, it did not want near so much labour to
make it so as the other piece of ground I had worked
so hard at.
I immediately went to work with this
piece of ground; and in less than a month’s
time I had so fenced it round that my flock, or herd,
call it which you please, which were not so wild now
as at first they might be supposed to be, were well
enough secured in it: so, without any further
delay, I removed ten young she-goats and two he-goats
to this piece, and when they were there I continued
to perfect the fence till I had made it as secure
as the other; which, however, I did at more leisure,
and it took me up more time by a great deal.
All this labour I was at the expense of, purely from
my apprehensions on account of the print of a man’s
foot; for as yet I had never seen any human creature
come near the island; and I had now lived two years
under this uneasiness, which, indeed, made my life
much less comfortable than it was before, as may be
well imagined by any who know what it is to live
in the constant snare of the fear of man. And
this I must observe, with grief, too, that the discomposure
of my mind had great impression also upon the religious
part of my thoughts; for the dread and terror of falling
into the hands of savages and cannibals lay so upon
my spirits, that I seldom found myself in a due temper
for application to my Maker; at least, not with the
sedate calmness and resignation of soul which I was
wont to do: I rather prayed to God as under great
affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded with
danger, and in expectation every night of being murdered
and devoured before morning; and I must testify,
from my experience, that a temper of peace, thankfulness,
love, and affection, is much the more proper frame
for prayer than that of terror and discomposure:
and that under the dread of mischief impending, a
man is no more fit for a comforting performance of
the duty of praying to God than he is for a repentance
on a sick-bed; for these discomposures affect the
mind, as the others do the body; and the discomposure
of the mind must necessarily be as great a disability
as that of the body, and much greater; praying to
God being properly an act of the mind, not of the
body.
But to go on. After I had thus
secured one part of my little living stock, I went
about the whole island, searching for another private
place to make such another deposit; when, wandering
more to the west point of the island than I had ever
done yet, and looking out to sea, I thought I saw
a boat upon the sea, at a great distance. I
had found a perspective glass or two in one of the
seamen’s chests, which I saved out of our ship,
but I had it not about me; and this was so remote
that I could not tell what to make of it, though
I looked at it till my eyes were not able to hold to
look any longer; whether it was a boat or not I do
not know, but as I descended from the hill I could
see no more of it, so I gave it over; only I resolved
to go no more out without a perspective glass in
my pocket. When I was come down the hill to the
end of the island, where, indeed, I had never been
before, I was presently convinced that the seeing
the print of a man’s foot was not such a strange
thing in the island as I imagined: and but that
it was a special providence that I was cast upon
the side of the island where the savages never came,
I should easily have known that nothing was more
frequent than for the canoes from the main, when
they happened to be a little too far out at sea, to
shoot over to that side of the island for harbour:
likewise, as they often met and fought in their canoes,
the victors, having taken any prisoners, would bring
them over to this shore, where, according to their
dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill
and eat them; of which hereafter.
When I was come down the hill to the
shore, as I said above, being the SW. point of the
island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed; nor
is it possible for me to express the horror of my mind
at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet,
and other bones of human bodies; and particularly
I observed a place where there had been a fire made,
and a circle dug in the earth, like a cockpit, where
I supposed the savage wretches had sat down to their
human feastings upon the bodies of their fellow-creatures.
I was so astonished with the sight
of these things, that I entertained no notions of
any danger to myself from it for a long while:
all my apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of
such a pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the
horror of the degeneracy of human nature, which,
though I had heard of it often, yet I never had so
near a view of before; in short, I turned away my
face from the horrid spectacle; my stomach grew sick,
and I was just at the point of fainting, when nature
discharged the disorder from my stomach; and having
vomited with uncommon violence, I was a little relieved,
but could not bear to stay in the place a moment;
so I got up the hill again with all the speed I could,
and walked on towards my own habitation.
When I came a little out of that part
of the island I stood still awhile, as amazed, and
then, recovering myself, I looked up with the utmost
affection of my soul, and, with a flood of tears in
my eyes, gave God thanks, that had cast my first
lot in a part of the world where I was distinguished
from such dreadful creatures as these; and that,
though I had esteemed my present condition very miserable,
had yet given me so many comforts in it that I had
still more to give thanks for than to complain of:
and this, above all, that I had, even in this miserable
condition, been comforted with the knowledge of Himself,
and the hope of His blessing: which was a felicity
more than sufficiently equivalent to all the misery
which I had suffered, or could suffer.
In this frame of thankfulness I went
home to my castle, and began to be much easier now,
as to the safety of my circumstances, than ever I
was before: for I observed that these wretches
never came to this island in search of what they
could get; perhaps not seeking, not wanting, or not
expecting anything here; and having often, no doubt,
been up the covered, woody part of it without finding
anything to their purpose. I knew I had been
here now almost eighteen years, and never saw the
least footsteps of human creature there before; and
I might be eighteen years more as entirely concealed
as I was now, if I did not discover myself to them,
which I had no manner of occasion to do; it being
my only business to keep myself entirely concealed
where I was, unless I found a better sort of creatures
than cannibals to make myself known to. Yet I
entertained such an abhorrence of the savage wretches
that I have been speaking of, and of the wretched,
inhuman custom of their devouring and eating one
another up, that I continued pensive and sad, and
kept close within my own circle for almost two years
after this: when I say my own circle, I mean
by it my three plantations — viz. my castle,
my country seat (which I called my bower), and my
enclosure in the woods: nor did I look after this
for any other use than an enclosure for my goats;
for the aversion which nature gave me to these hellish
wretches was such, that I was as fearful of seeing
them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not
so much as go to look after my boat all this time,
but began rather to think of making another; for
I could not think of ever making any more attempts
to bring the other boat round the island to me, lest
I should meet with some of these creatures at sea;
in which case, if I had happened to have fallen into
their hands, I knew what would have been my lot.
Time, however, and the satisfaction
I had that I was in no danger of being discovered
by these people, began to wear off my uneasiness
about them; and I began to live just in the same
composed manner as before, only with this difference,
that I used more caution, and kept my eyes more about
me than I did before, lest I should happen to be
seen by any of them; and particularly, I was more
cautious of firing my gun, lest any of them, being
on the island, should happen to hear it. It
was, therefore, a very good providence to me that
I had furnished myself with a tame breed of goats,
and that I had no need to hunt any more about the woods,
or shoot at them; and if I did catch any of them
after this, it was by traps and snares, as I had
done before; so that for two years after this I believe
I never fired my gun once off, though I never went
out without it; and what was more, as I had saved
three pistols out of the ship, I always carried them
out with me, or at least two of them, sticking them
in my goat-skin belt. I also furbished up one
of the great cutlasses that I had out of the ship,
and made me a belt to hang it on also; so that I
was now a most formidable fellow to look at when
I went abroad, if you add to the former description
of myself the particular of two pistols, and a broadsword
hanging at my side in a belt, but without a scabbard.
Things going on thus, as I have said,
for some time, I seemed, excepting these cautions,
to be reduced to my former calm, sedate way of living.
All these things tended to show me more and more
how far my condition was from being miserable, compared
to some others; nay, to many other particulars of
life which it might have pleased God to have made
my lot. It put me upon reflecting how little
repining there would be among mankind at any condition
of life if people would rather compare their condition
with those that were worse, in order to be thankful,
than be always comparing them with those which are
better, to assist their murmurings and complainings.
As in my present condition there were
not really many things which I wanted, so indeed
I thought that the frights I had been in about these
savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for
my own preservation, had taken off the edge of my
invention, for my own conveniences; and I had dropped
a good design, which I had once bent my thoughts
upon, and that was to try if I could not make some
of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself
some beer. This was really a whimsical thought,
and I reproved myself often for the simplicity of
it: for I presently saw there would be the want
of several things necessary to the making my beer that
it would be impossible for me to supply; as, first,
casks to preserve it in, which was a thing that,
as I have observed already, I could never compass:
no, though I spent not only many days, but weeks,
nay months, in attempting it, but to no purpose.
In the next place, I had no hops to make it keep,
no yeast to made it work, no copper or kettle to
make it boil; and yet with all these things wanting,
I verily believe, had not the frights and terrors I
was in about the savages intervened, I had undertaken
it, and perhaps brought it to pass too; for I seldom
gave anything over without accomplishing it, when
once I had it in my head to began it. But my
invention now ran quite another way; for night and
day I could think of nothing but how I might destroy
some of the monsters in their cruel, bloody entertainment,
and if possible save the victim they should bring
hither to destroy. It would take up a larger
volume than this whole work is intended to be to
set down all the contrivances I hatched, or rather
brooded upon, in my thoughts, for the destroying
these creatures, or at least frightening them so as
to prevent their coming hither any more: but
all this was abortive; nothing could be possible
to take effect, unless I was to be there to do it
myself: and what could one man do among them,
when perhaps there might be twenty or thirty of them
together with their darts, or their bows and arrows,
with which they could shoot as true to a mark as
I could with my gun?
Sometimes I thought if digging a hole
under the place where they made their fire, and putting
in five or six pounds of gunpowder, which, when they
kindled their fire, would consequently take fire,
and blow up all that was near it: but as, in the
first place, I should be unwilling to waste so much
powder upon them, my store being now within the quantity
of one barrel, so neither could I be sure of its
going off at any certain time, when it might surprise
them; and, at best, that it would do little more
than just blow the fire about their ears and fright
them, but not sufficient to make them forsake the
place: so I laid it aside; and then proposed that
I would place myself in ambush in some convenient
place, with my three guns all double-loaded, and
in the middle of their bloody ceremony let fly at
them, when I should be sure to kill or wound perhaps
two or three at every shot; and then falling in upon
them with my three pistols and my sword, I made no
doubt but that, if there were twenty, I should kill
them all. This fancy pleased my thoughts for
some weeks, and I was so full of it that I often
dreamed of it, and, sometimes, that I was just going
to let fly at them in my sleep. I went so far
with it in my imagination that I employed myself
several days to find out proper places to put myself
in ambuscade, as I said, to watch for them, and I went
frequently to the place itself, which was now grown
more familiar to me; but while my mind was thus filled
with thoughts of revenge and a bloody putting twenty
or thirty of them to the sword, as I may call it,
the horror I had at the place, and at the signals of
the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetted
my malice. Well, at length I found a place
in the side of the hill where I was satisfied I might
securely wait till I saw any of their boats coming;
and might then, even before they would be ready to
come on shore, convey myself unseen into some thickets
of trees, in one of which there was a hollow large
enough to conceal me entirely; and there I might
sit and observe all their bloody doings, and take my
full aim at their heads, when they were so close
together as that it would be next to impossible that
I should miss my shot, or that I could fail wounding
three or four of them at the first shot. In
this place, then, I resolved to fulfil my design; and
accordingly I prepared two muskets and my ordinary
fowling-piece. The two muskets I loaded with
a brace of slugs each, and four or five smaller bullets,
about the size of pistol bullets; and the fowling-piece
I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot of the largest
size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets
each; and, in this posture, well provided with ammunition
for a second and third charge, I prepared myself
for my expedition.
After I had thus laid the scheme of
my design, and in my imagination put it in practice,
I continually made my tour every morning to the top
of the hill, which was from my castle, as I called
it, about three miles or more, to see if I could observe
any boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or
standing over towards it; but I began to tire of
this hard duty, after I had for two or three months
constantly kept my watch, but came always back without
any discovery; there having not, in all that time,
been the least appearance, not only on or near the
shore, but on the whole ocean, so far as my eye or
glass could reach every way.
As long as I kept my daily tour to
the hill, to look out, so long also I kept up the
vigour of my design, and my spirits seemed to be
all the while in a suitable frame for so outrageous
an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked
savages, for an offence which I had not at all entered
into any discussion of in my thoughts, any farther
than my passions were at first fired by the horror
I conceived at the unnatural custom of the people
of that country, who, it seems, had been suffered
by Providence, in His wise disposition of the world,
to have no other guide than that of their own abominable
and vitiated passions; and consequently were left,
and perhaps had been so for some ages, to act such
horrid things, and receive such dreadful customs,
as nothing but nature, entirely abandoned by Heaven,
and actuated by some hellish degeneracy, could have
run them into. But now, when, as I have said,
I began to be weary of the fruitless excursion which
I had made so long and so far every morning in vain,
so my opinion of the action itself began to alter;
and I began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider
what I was going to engage in; what authority or
call I had to pretend to be judge and executioner
upon these men as criminals, whom Heaven had thought
fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished to go on,
and to be as it were the executioners of His judgments
one upon another; how far these people were offenders
against me, and what right I had to engage in the
quarrel of that blood which they shed promiscuously
upon one another. I debated this very often
with myself thus: “How do I know what God
Himself judges in this particular case? It
is certain these people do not commit this as a crime;
it is not against their own consciences reproving,
or their light reproaching them; they do not know
it to be an offence, and then commit it in defiance
of divine justice, as we do in almost all the sins
we commit. They think it no more a crime to
kill a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox;
or to eat human flesh than we do to eat mutton.”
When I considered this a little, it
followed necessarily that I was certainly in the
wrong; that these people were not murderers, in the
sense that I had before condemned them in my thoughts,
any more than those Christians were murderers who
often put to death the prisoners taken in battle;
or more frequently, upon many occasions, put whole
troops of men to the sword, without giving quarter,
though they threw down their arms and submitted.
In the next place, it occurred to me that although
the usage they gave one another was thus brutish
and inhuman, yet it was really nothing to me:
these people had done me no injury: that if they
attempted, or I saw it necessary, for my immediate
preservation, to fall upon them, something might
be said for it: but that I was yet out of their
power, and they really had no knowledge of me, and
consequently no design upon me; and therefore it
could not be just for me to fall upon them; that
this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards in
all their barbarities practised in America, where
they destroyed millions of these people; who, however
they were idolators and barbarians, and had several
bloody and barbarous rites in their customs, such
as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were
yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent people; and
that the rooting them out of the country is spoken
of with the utmost abhorrence and detestation by
even the Spaniards themselves at this time, and by
all other Christian nations of Europe, as a mere
butchery, a bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty,
unjustifiable either to God or man; and for which
the very name of a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful
and terrible, to all people of humanity or of Christian
compassion; as if the kingdom of Spain were particularly
eminent for the produce of a race of men who were
without principles of tenderness, or the common bowels
of pity to the miserable, which is reckoned to be
a mark of generous temper in the mind.
These considerations really put me
to a pause, and to a kind of a full stop; and I began
by little and little to be off my design, and to
conclude I had taken wrong measures in my resolution
to attack the savages; and that it was not my business
to meddle with them, unless they first attacked me;
and this it was my business, if possible, to prevent:
but that, if I were discovered and attacked by them,
I knew my duty. On the other hand, I argued with
myself that this really was the way not to deliver
myself, but entirely to ruin and destroy myself;
for unless I was sure to kill every one that not
only should be on shore at that time, but that should
ever come on shore afterwards, if but one of them escaped
to tell their country-people what had happened, they
would come over again by thousands to revenge the
death of their fellows, and I should only bring upon
myself a certain destruction, which, at present,
I had no manner of occasion for. Upon the whole,
I concluded that I ought, neither in principle nor
in policy, one way or other, to concern myself in
this affair: that my business was, by all possible
means to conceal myself from them, and not to leave
the least sign for them to guess by that there were
any living creatures upon the island — I mean
of human shape. Religion joined in with this
prudential resolution; and I was convinced now, many
ways, that I was perfectly out of my duty when I
was laying all my bloody schemes for the destruction
of innocent creatures — I mean innocent as
to me. As to the crimes they were guilty of towards
one another, I had nothing to do with them; they
were national, and I ought to leave them to the justice
of God, who is the Governor of nations, and knows
how, by national punishments, to make a just retribution
for national offences, and to bring public judgments
upon those who offend in a public manner, by such
ways as best please Him. This appeared so clear
to me now, that nothing was a greater satisfaction
to me than that I had not been suffered to do a thing
which I now saw so much reason to believe would have
been no less a sin than that of wilful murder if
I had committed it; and I gave most humble thanks
on my knees to God, that He had thus delivered me
from blood-guiltiness; beseeching Him to grant me the
protection of His providence, that I might not fall
into the hands of the barbarians, or that I might
not lay my hands upon them, unless I had a more clear
call from Heaven to do it, in defence of my own life.
In this disposition I continued for
near a year after this; and so far was I from desiring
an occasion for falling upon these wretches, that
in all that time I never once went up the hill to
see whether there were any of them in sight, or to
know whether any of them had been on shore there
or not, that I might not be tempted to renew any
of my contrivances against them, or be provoked by
any advantage that might present itself to fall upon
them; only this I did: I went and removed my
boat, which I had on the other side of the island,
and carried it down to the east end of the whole
island, where I ran it into a little cove, which I
found under some high rocks, and where I knew, by
reason of the currents, the savages durst not, at
least would not, come with their boats upon any account
whatever. With my boat I carried away everything
that I had left there belonging to her, though not
necessary for the bare going thither — viz.
a mast and sail which I had made for her, and a thing
like an anchor, but which, indeed, could not be called
either anchor or grapnel; however, it was the best
I could make of its kind: all these I removed,
that there might not be the least shadow for discovery,
or appearance of any boat, or of any human habitation
upon the island. Besides this, I kept myself,
as I said, more retired than ever, and seldom went
from my cell except upon my constant employment,
to milk my she-goats, and manage my little flock
in the wood, which, as it was quite on the other part
of the island, was out of danger; for certain, it
is that these savage people, who sometimes haunted
this island, never came with any thoughts of finding
anything here, and consequently never wandered off
from the coast, and I doubt not but they might have
been several times on shore after my apprehensions
of them had made me cautious, as well as before.
Indeed, I looked back with some horror upon the
thoughts of what my condition would have been if I
had chopped upon them and been discovered before
that; when, naked and unarmed, except with one gun,
and that loaded often only with small shot, I walked
everywhere, peeping and peering about the island,
to see what I could get; what a surprise should I have
been in if, when I discovered the print of a man’s
foot, I had, instead of that, seen fifteen or twenty
savages, and found them pursuing me, and by the swiftness
of their running no possibility of my escaping them!
The thoughts of this sometimes sank my very soul
within me, and distressed my mind so much that I could
not soon recover it, to think what I should have
done, and how I should not only have been unable
to resist them, but even should not have had presence
of mind enough to do what I might have done; much less
what now, after so much consideration and preparation,
I might be able to do. Indeed, after serious
thinking of these things, I would be melancholy,
and sometimes it would last a great while; but I
resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that Providence
which had delivered me from so many unseen dangers,
and had kept me from those mischiefs which I could
have no way been the agent in delivering myself from,
because I had not the least notion of any such thing
depending, or the least supposition of its being
possible. This renewed a contemplation which
often had come into my thoughts in former times,
when first I began to see the merciful dispositions
of Heaven, in the dangers we run through in this life;
how wonderfully we are delivered when we know nothing
of it; how, when we are in a quandary as we call
it, a doubt or hesitation whether to go this way
or that way, a secret hint shall direct us this way,
when we intended to go that way: nay, when sense,
our own inclination, and perhaps business has called
us to go the other way, yet a strange impression
upon the mind, from we know not what springs, and
by we know not what power, shall overrule us to go
this way; and it shall afterwards appear that had
we gone that way, which we should have gone, and
even to our imagination ought to have gone, we should
have been ruined and lost. Upon these and many
like reflections I afterwards made it a certain rule
with me, that whenever I found those secret hints
or pressings of mind to doing or not doing anything
that presented, or going this way or that way, I
never failed to obey the secret dictate; though I knew
no other reason for it than such a pressure or such
a hint hung upon my mind. I could give many
examples of the success of this conduct in the course
of my life, but more especially in the latter part
of my inhabiting this unhappy island; besides many
occasions which it is very likely I might have taken
notice of, if I had seen with the same eyes then
that I see with now. But it is never too late
to be wise; and I cannot but advise all considering
men, whose lives are attended with such extraordinary
incidents as mine, or even though not so extraordinary,
not to slight such secret intimations of Providence,
let them come from what invisible intelligence they
will. That I shall not discuss, and perhaps
cannot account for; but certainly they are a proof
of the converse of spirits, and a secret communication
between those embodied and those unembodied, and
such a proof as can never be withstood; of which
I shall have occasion to give some remarkable instances
in the remainder of my solitary residence in this
dismal place.
I believe the reader of this will
not think it strange if I confess that these anxieties,
these constant dangers I lived in, and the concern
that was now upon me, put an end to all invention,
and to all the contrivances that I had laid for my
future accommodations and conveniences. I had
the care of my safety more now upon my hands than
that of my food. I cared not to drive a nail,
or chop a stick of wood now, for fear the noise I
might make should be heard: much less would
I fire a gun for the same reason: and above all
I was intolerably uneasy at making any fire, lest
the smoke, which is visible at a great distance in
the day, should betray me. For this reason,
I removed that part of my business which required fire,
such as burning of pots and pipes, &c., into my new
apartment in the woods; where, after I had been some
time, I found, to my unspeakable consolation, a mere
natural cave in the earth, which went in a vast way,
and where, I daresay, no savage, had he been at the
mouth of it, would be so hardy as to venture in; nor,
indeed, would any man else, but one who, like me,
wanted nothing so much as a safe retreat.
The mouth of this hollow was at the
bottom of a great rock, where, by mere accident (I
would say, if I did not see abundant reason to ascribe
all such things now to Providence), I was cutting down
some thick branches of trees to make charcoal; and
before I go on I must observe the reason of my making
this charcoal, which was this — I was afraid
of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before;
and yet I could not live there without baking my
bread, cooking my meat, &c.; so I contrived to burn
some wood here, as I had seen done in England, under
turf, till it became chark or dry coal: and
then putting the fire out, I preserved the coal to
carry home, and perform the other services for which
fire was wanting, without danger of smoke.
But this is by-the-bye. While I was cutting down
some wood here, I perceived that, behind a very thick
branch of low brushwood or underwood, there was a
kind of hollow place: I was curious to look
in it; and getting with difficulty into the mouth
of it, I found it was pretty large, that is to say,
sufficient for me to stand upright in it, and perhaps
another with me: but I must confess to you that
I made more haste out than I did in, when looking
farther into the place, and which was perfectly dark,
I saw two broad shining eyes of some creature, whether
devil or man I knew not, which twinkled like two
stars; the dim light from the cave’s mouth
shining directly in, and making the reflection.
However, after some pause I recovered myself, and
began to call myself a thousand fools, and to think
that he that was afraid to see the devil was not
fit to live twenty years in an island all alone;
and that I might well think there was nothing in this
cave that was more frightful than myself. Upon
this, plucking up my courage, I took up a firebrand,
and in I rushed again, with the stick flaming in
my hand: I had not gone three steps in before
I was almost as frightened as before; for I heard
a very loud sigh, like that of a man in some pain,
and it was followed by a broken noise, as of words
half expressed, and then a deep sigh again. I
stepped back, and was indeed struck with such a surprise
that it put me into a cold sweat, and if I had had
a hat on my head, I will not answer for it that my
hair might not have lifted it off. But still
plucking up my spirits as well as I could, and encouraging
myself a little with considering that the power and
presence of God was everywhere, and was able to protect
me, I stepped forward again, and by the light of
the firebrand, holding it up a little over my head,
I saw lying on the ground a monstrous, frightful old
he-goat, just making his will, as we say, and gasping
for life, and, dying, indeed, of mere old age.
I stirred him a little to see if I could get him
out, and he essayed to get up, but was not able to
raise himself; and I thought with myself he might even
lie there – for if he had frightened me, so he would
certainly fright any of the savages, if any of them
should be so hardy as to come in there while he had
any life in him.
I was now recovered from my surprise,
and began to look round me, when I found the cave
was but very small — that is to say, it might
be about twelve feet over, but in no manner of shape,
neither round nor square, no hands having ever been
employed in making it but those of mere Nature.
I observed also that there was a place at the farther
side of it that went in further, but was so low that
it required me to creep upon my hands and knees to
go into it, and whither it went I knew not; so, having
no candle, I gave it over for that time, but resolved
to go again the next day provided with candles and
a tinder-box, which I had made of the lock of one of
the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan.
Accordingly, the next day I came provided
with six large candles of my own making (for I made
very good candles now of goat’s tallow, but
was hard set for candle-wick, using sometimes rags
or rope-yarn, and sometimes the dried rind of a weed
like nettles); and going into this low place I was
obliged to creep upon all-fours as I have said, almost
ten yards — which, by the way, I thought was
a venture bold enough, considering that I knew not
how far it might go, nor what was beyond it.
When I had got through the strait, I found the roof
rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet; but never
was such a glorious sight seen in the island, I daresay,
as it was to look round the sides and roof of this
vault or cave — the wall reflected a hundred
thousand lights to me from my two candles.
What it was in the rock — whether diamonds or
any other precious stones, or gold which I rather
supposed it to be — I knew not. The place
I was in was a most delightful cavity, or grotto, though
perfectly dark; the floor was dry and level, and
had a sort of a small loose gravel upon it, so that
there was no nauseous or venomous creature to be
seen, neither was there any damp or wet on the sides
or roof. The only difficulty in it was the entrance
— which, however, as it was a place of security,
and such a retreat as I wanted; I thought was a convenience;
so that I was really rejoiced at the discovery, and
resolved, without any delay, to bring some of those
things which I was most anxious about to this place:
particularly, I resolved to bring hither my magazine
of powder, and all my spare arms — viz.
two fowling-pieces — for I had three in all
— and three muskets — for of them I had
eight in all; so I kept in my castle only five, which
stood ready mounted like pieces of cannon on my outmost
fence, and were ready also to take out upon any expedition.
Upon this occasion of removing my ammunition I happened
to open the barrel of powder which I took up out
of the sea, and which had been wet, and I found that
the water had penetrated about three or four inches
into the powder on every side, which caking and growing
hard, had preserved the inside like a kernel in the
shell, so that I had near sixty pounds of very good
powder in the centre of the cask. This was
a very agreeable discovery to me at that time; so
I carried all away thither, never keeping above two
or three pounds of powder with me in my castle, for
fear of a surprise of any kind; I also carried thither
all the lead I had left for bullets.
I fancied myself now like one of the
ancient giants who were said to live in caves and
holes in the rocks, where none could come at them;
for I persuaded myself, while I was here, that if five
hundred savages were to hunt me, they could never
find me out — or if they did, they would not
venture to attack me here. The old goat whom
I found expiring died in the mouth of the cave the
next day after I made this discovery; and I found
it much easier to dig a great hole there, and throw
him in and cover him with earth, than to drag him
out; so I interred him there, to prevent offence to
my nose.