VI
Anselme Popinot went down the Rue
Saint-Honore and rushed along the Rue des Deux-Ecus
to seize upon a young man whom his commercial second-sight
pointed out to him as the principal instrument of his
future fortune. Popinot the judge had once done
a great service to the cleverest of all commercial
travellers, to him whose triumphant loquacity and
activity were to win him, in coming years, the title
of The Illustrious. Devoted especially to the
hat-trade and the article-Paris, this prince
of travellers was called, at the time of which we
write, purely and simply, Gaudissart. At the age
of twenty-two he was already famous by the power of
his commercial magnetism. In those days he was
slim, with a joyous eye, expressive face, unwearied
memory, and a glance that guessed the wants of every
one; and he deserved to be, what in fact he became,
the king of commercial travellers, the Frenchman
par excellence. A few days earlier Popinot
had met Gaudissart, who mentioned that he was on the
point of departure; the hope of finding him still
in Paris sent the lover flying into the Rue des Deux-Ecus,
where he learned that the traveller had engaged his
place at the Messageries-Royales. To bid adieu
to his beloved capital, Gaudissart had gone to see
a new piece at the Vaudeville; Popinot resolved to
wait for him. Was it not drawing a cheque on fortune
to entrust the launching of the oil of nuts to this
incomparable steersman of mercantile inventions, already
petted and courted by the richest firms? Popinot
had reason to feel sure of Gaudissart. The commercial
traveller, so knowing in the art of entangling that
most wary of human beings, the little provincial trader,
had himself become entangled in the first conspiracy
attempted against the Bourbons after the Hundred Days.
Gaudissart, to whom the open firmament of heaven was
indispensable, found himself shut up in prison, under
the weight of an accusation for a capital offence.
Popinot the judge, who presided at the trial, released
him on the ground that it was nothing worse than his
imprudent folly which had mixed him up in the affair.
A judge anxious to please the powers in office, or
a rabid royalist, would have sent the luckless traveller
to the scaffold. Gaudissart, who believed he
owed his life to the judge, cherished the grief of
being unable to make his savior any other return than
that of sterile gratitude. As he could not thank
a judge for doing justice, he went to the Ragons and
declared himself liege-vassal forever to the house
of Popinot.
While waiting about for Gaudissart,
Anselme naturally went to look at the shop in the
Rue des Cinq-Diamants, and got the address of the
owner, for the purpose of negotiating a lease.
As he sauntered through the dusky labyrinth of the
great market, thinking how to achieve a rapid success,
he suddenly came, in the Rue Aubry-le-Boucher, upon
a rare chance, and one of good omen, with which he
resolved to regale Cesar on the morrow. Soon
after, while standing about the door of the Hotel
du Commerce, at the end of the Rue des Deux-Ecus, about
midnight, he heard, in the far distance of the Rue
de Grenelle, a vaudeville chorus sung by Gaudissart,
with a cane accompaniment significantly rapped upon
the pavement.
“Monsieur,” said Anselme,
suddenly appearing from the doorway, “two words?”
“Eleven, if you like,”
said the commercial traveller, brandishing his loaded
cane over the aggressor.
“I am Popinot,” said poor Anselme.
“Enough!” cried Gaudissart,
recognizing him. “What do you need?
Money? —absent, on leave, but we can get
it. My arm for a duel?—all is yours,
from my head to my heels,” and he sang,—
“Behold! behold!
A Frenchman true!”
“Come and talk with me for ten
minutes; not in your room,—we might be
overheard,—but on the Quai de l’Horloge;
there’s no one there at this hour,” said
Popinot. “It is about something important.”
“Exciting, hey? Proceed.”
In ten minutes Gaudissart, put in
possession of Popinot’s secret, saw its importance.
“Come forth! perfumers, hair-dressers,
petty retailers!”
sang Gaudissart, mimicking Lafon in
the role of the Cid. “I shall grab every
shopkeeper in France and Navarre.—Oh, an
idea! I was about to start; I remain; I shall
take commissions from the Parisian perfumers.”
“Why?”
“To strangle your rivals, simpleton!
If I take their orders I can make their perfidious
cosmetics drink oil, simply by talking and working
for yours only. A first-rate traveller’s
trick! Ha! ha! we are the diplomatists of commerce.
Famous! As for your prospectus, I’ll take
charge of that. I’ve got a friend—early
childhood—Andoche Finot, son of the hat-maker
in the Rue du Coq, the old buffer who launched me
into travelling on hats. Andoche, who has a great
deal of wit,—he got it all out of the heads
tiled by his father,—he is in literature;
he does the minor theatres in the ‘Courrier
des Spectacles.’ His father, an old dog
chock-full of reasons for not liking wit, won’t
believe in it; impossible to make him see that mind
can be sold, sells itself in fact: he won’t
believe in anything but the three-sixes. Old Finot
manages young Finot by famine. Andoche, a capable
man, no fool,—I don’t consort with
fools, except commercially,—Andoche makes
epigrams for the ‘Fidele Berger,’ which
pays; while the other papers, for which he works like
a galley-slave, keep him down on his marrow-bones in
the dust. Are not they jealous, those fellows?
Just the same in the article-Paris! Finot
wrote a superb comedy in one act for Mademoiselle
Mars, most glorious of the glorious!—ah,
there’s a woman I love!—Well, in
order to get it played he had to take it to the Gaite.
Andoche understands prospectuses, he worms himself
into the mercantile mind; and he’s not proud,
he’ll concoct it for us gratis. Damn it!
with a bowl of punch and a few cakes we’ll get
it out of him; for, Popinot, no nonsense! I am
to travel on your commission without pay: your
competitors shall pay; I’ll diddle it out of
them. Let us understand each other clearly.
As for me, this triumph is an affair of honor.
My reward is to be best man at your wedding! I
shall go to Italy, Germany, England! I shall
carry with me placards in all languages, paste them
everywhere, in villages, on doors of churches, all
the best spots I can find in provincial towns!
The oil shall sparkle, scintillate, glisten on every
head. Ha! your marriage shall not be a sham;
we’ll make it a pageant, colors flying!
You shall have your Cesarine, or my name shall not
be ILLUSTRIOUS,—that is what Pere Finot
calls me for having got off his gray hats. In
selling your oil I keep to my own sphere, the human
head; hats and oil are well-known preservatives of
the public hair.”
Popinot returned to his aunt’s
house, where he was to sleep, in such a fever, caused
by his visions of success, that the streets seemed
to him to be running oil. He slept little, dreamed
that his hair was madly growing, and saw two angels
who unfolded, as they do in melodramas, a scroll on
which was written “Oil Cesarine.”
He woke, recollected the dream, and vowed to give
the oil of nuts that sacred name, accepting the sleeping
fancy as a celestial mandate.
* * * *
Cesar and Popinot were at their work-shop
in the Faubourg du Temple the next morning long before
the arrival of the nuts. While waiting for Madame
Madou’s porters, Popinot triumphantly recounted
his treaty of alliance with Gaudissart.
“Have we indeed the illustrious
Gaudissart? Then are we millionaires!”
cried the perfumer, extending his hand to his cashier
with an air which Louis XIV. must have worn when he
received the Marechal de Villars on his return from
Denain.
“We have something besides,”
said the happy clerk, producing from his pocket a
bottle of a squat shape, like a pumpkin, and ribbed
on the sides. “I have found ten thousand
bottles like that, all made ready to hand, at four
sous, and six months’ credit.”
“Anselme, said Birotteau, contemplating
the wondrous shape of the flask, “yesterday
[here his tone of voice became solemn] in the Tuileries,—yes,
no later than yesterday,—you said to me,
’I will succeed.’ To-day I—I
say to you, ‘You will succeed.’ Four
sous! six months! an unparalleled shape! Macassar
trembles to its foundations! Was I not right
to seize upon the only nuts in Paris? Where did
you find these bottles?”
“I was waiting to speak to Gaudissart, and sauntering—”
“Just like me, when I found the Arab book,”
cried Birotteau.
“Coming down the Rue Aubry-le-Boucher,
I saw in a wholesale glass place, where they make
blown glass and cases,—an immense place,—I
caught sight of this flask; it blinded my eyes like
a sudden light; a voice cried to me, ‘Here’s
your chance!’”
“Born merchant! he shall have my daughter!”
muttered Cesar.
“I went in; I saw thousands of these bottles
packed in cases.”
“You asked about them?”
“Do you think me such a ninny?” cried
Anselme, in a grieved tone.
“Born merchant!” repeated Birotteau.
“I asked for glass cases for
the little wax Jesus; and while I was bargaining about
them I found fault with the shape of the bottles.
From one thing to another, I trapped the man into admitting
that Faille and Bouchot, who lately failed, were starting
a new cosmetic and wanted a peculiar style of bottle;
he was doubtful about them and asked for half the
money down. Faille and Bouchot, expecting to
succeed, paid the money; they failed while the bottles
were making. The assignees, when called upon
to pay the bill, arranged to leave him the bottles
and the money in hand, as an indemnity for the manufacture
of articles thought to be ridiculous in shape, and
quite unsalable. They cost originally eight sous;
he was glad to get rid of them for four; for, as he
said, God knows how long he might have on his hands
a shape for which there was no sale! ‘Are
you willing,’ I said to him, ’to furnish
ten thousand at four sous? If so, I may perhaps
relieve you of them. I am a clerk at Monsieur
Birotteau’s.’ I caught him, I led
him, I mastered him, I worked him up, and he is all
ours.”
“Four sous!” said Birotteau.
“Do you know that we could use oil at three
francs, and make a profit of thirty sous, and give
twenty sous discount to retailers?”
“Oil Cesarine!” cried Popinot.
“Oil Cesarine?—Ah,
lover! would you flatter both father and daughter?
Well, well, so be it; Oil Cesarine! The Cesars
owned the whole world. They must have had fine
hair.”
“Cesar was bald,” said Popinot.
“Because he never used our oil.
Three francs for the Oil Cesarine, while Macassar
Oil costs double! Gaudissart to the fore!
We shall make a hundred thousand francs this year,
for we’ll pour on every head that respects itself
a dozen bottles a year,—eighteen francs;
say eighteen thousand heads,—one hundred
and eighty thousand francs. We are millionaires!”
The nuts delivered, Raguet, the workmen,
Popinot, and Cesar shelled a sufficient quantity,
and before four o’clock they had produced several
pounds of oil. Popinot carried the product to
show to Vauquelin, who made him a present of a recipe
for mixing the essence of nuts with other and less
costly oleaginous substances, and scenting it.
Popinot went to work at once to take out a patent
for the invention and all improvements thereon.
The devoted Gaudissart lent him the money to pay the
fees, for Popinot was ambitious to pay his share in
the undertaking.
Prosperity brings with it an intoxication
which inferior men are unable to resist. Cesar’s
exaltation of spirit had a result not difficult to
foresee. Grindot came, and presented a colored
sketch of a charming interior view of the proposed
appartement. Birotteau, seduced, agreed to everything;
and soon the house, and the heart of Constance, began
to quiver under the blows of pick and hammer.
The house-painter, Monsieur Lourdois, a very rich
contractor, who had promised that nothing should be
wanting, talked of gilding the salon. On hearing
that word Constance interposed.
“Monsieur Lourdois,” she
said, “you have an income of thirty thousand
francs, you occupy your own house, and you can do what
you like to it; but the rest of us—”
“Madame, commerce ought to shine
and not permit itself to be kept in the shade by the
aristocracy. Besides, Monsieur Birotteau is in
the government; he is before the eyes of the world—”
“Yes, but he still keeps a shop,”
said Constance, in the hearing of the clerks and the
five persons who were listening to her. “Neither
he, nor I, nor his friends, nor his enemies will forget
that.”
Birotteau rose upon the points of
his toes and fell back upon his heels several times,
his hands crossed behind him.
“My wife is right,” he
said; “we should be modest in prosperity.
Moreover, as long as a man is in business he should
be careful of his expenses, limited in his luxury;
the law itself imposes the obligation,—he
must not allow himself ‘excessive expenditures.’
If the enlargement of my home and its decoration were
to go beyond due limits, it would be wrong in me to
permit it; you yourself would blame me, Lourdois.
The neighborhood has its eye upon me; successful men
incur jealousy, envy. Ah! you will soon know that,
young man,” he said to Grindot; “if we
are calumniated, at least let us give no handle to
the calumny.”
“Neither calumny nor evil-speaking
can touch you,” said Lourdois; “your position
is unassailable. But your business habits are
so strong that you must argue over every enterprise;
you are a deep one—”
“True, I have some experience
in business. You know, of course, why I make
this enlargement? If I insist on punctuality in
the completion of the work, it is—”
“No.”
“Well, my wife and I are about
to assemble our friends, as much to celebrate the
emancipation of our territory as to commemorate my
promotion to the order of the Legion of honor—”
“What do you say?” said
Lourdois, “have they given you the cross?”
“Yes; I may possibly have shown
myself worthy of that signal royal favor by my services
on the Bench of commerce, and by fighting for the
Bourbons upon the steps of Saint-Roch, on the 13th
Vendemiaire, where I was wounded by Napoleon.
Come to the ball, and bring your wife and daughter.”
“Charmed with the honor you
deign to pay me,” said Lourdois (a liberal).
“But you are a deep one, Papa Birotteau; you
want to make sure that I shall not break my word,—that’s
the reason you invite me. Well, I’ll employ
my best workmen; we’ll build the fires of hell
and dry the paint. I must find some desiccating
process; it would never do to dance in a fog from
the wet plaster. We will varnish it to hide the
smell.”
Three days later the commercial circles
of the quarter were in a flutter at the announcement
of Birotteau’s ball. Everybody could see
for themselves the props and scaffoldings necessitated
by the change of the staircase, the square wooden
funnels down which the rubbish was thrown into the
carts stationed in the street. The sight of men
working by torchlight—for there were day
workmen and night workmen —arrested all
the idlers and busybodies in the street; gossip, based
on these preparations, proclaimed a sumptuous forthcoming
event.
On Sunday, the day Cesar had appointed
to conclude the affair of the lands about the Madeleine,
Monsieur and Madame Ragon, and uncle Pillerault arrived
about four o’clock, just after vespers.
In view of the demolition that was going on, so Cesar
said, he could only invite Charles Claparon, Crottat,
and Roguin. The notary brought with him the “Journal
des Debats” in which Monsieur de la Billardiere
had inserted the following article:—
“We learn that the deliverance of
our territory will be feted with enthusiasm throughout
France. In Paris the members of the municipal
body feel that the time has come to restore the capital
to that accustomed splendor which under a becoming
sense of propriety was laid aside during the foreign
occupation. The mayors and deputy-mayors each
propose to give a ball; this national movement will
no doubt be followed, and the winter promises to be
a brilliant one. Among the fetes now preparing,
the one most talked of is the ball of Monsieur Birotteau,
lately named chevalier of the Legion of honor and
well-known for his devotion to the royal cause.
Monsieur Birotteau, wounded in the affair of Saint-Roch,
judges in the department of commerce, and therefore
has doubly merited this honor.”
“How well they write nowadays,”
cried Cesar. “They are talking about us
in the papers,” he said to Pillerault.
“Well, what of it?” answered
his uncle, who had a special antipathy to the “Journal
des Debats.”
“That article may help to sell
the Paste of Sultans and the Carminative Balm,”
whispered Madame Cesar to Madame Ragon, not sharing
the intoxication of her husband.
Madame Ragon, a tall woman, dry and
wrinkled, with a pinched nose and thin lips, bore
a spurious resemblance to a marquise of the old court.
The circles round her eyes had spread to a wide circumference,
like those of elderly women who have known sorrow.
The severe and dignified, although affable, expression
of her countenance inspired respect. She had,
withal, a certain oddity about her, which excited
notice, but never ridicule; and this was exhibited
in her dress and habits. She wore mittens, and
carried in all weathers a cane sunshade, like that
used by Queen Marie-Antoinette at Trianon; her gown
(the favorite color was pale-brown, the shade of dead
leaves) fell from her hips in those inimitable folds
the secret of which the dowagers of the olden time
have carried away with them. She retained the
black mantilla trimmed with black lace woven in large
square meshes; her caps, old-fashioned in shape, had
the quaint charm which we see in silhouettes relieved
against a white background. She took snuff with
exquisite nicety and with the gestures which young
people of the present day who have had the happiness
of seeing their grandmothers and great-aunts replacing
their gold snuff-boxes solemnly on the tables beside
them, and shaking off the grains which strayed upon
their kerchiefs, will doubtless remember.
The Sieur Ragon was a little man,
not over five feet high, with a face like a nut-cracker,
in which could be seen only two eyes, two sharp cheek-bones,
a nose and a chin. Having no teeth he swallowed
half his words, though his style of conversation was
effluent, gallant, pretentious, and smiling, with
the smile he formerly wore when he received beautiful
great ladies at the door of his shop. Powder,
well raked off, defined upon his cranium a nebulous
half-circle, flanked by two pigeon-wings, divided
by a little queue tied with a ribbon. He wore
a bottle-blue coat, a white waistcoat, small-clothes
and silk stockings, shoes with gold buckles, and black
silk gloves. The most marked feature of his behavior
was his habit of going through the street holding
his hat in his hand. He looked like a messenger
of the Chamber of Peers, or an usher of the king’s
bedchamber, or any of those persons placed near to
some form of power from which they get a reflected
light, though of little account themselves.
“Well, Birotteau,” he
said, with a magisterial air, “do you repent,
my boy, for having listened to us in the old times?
Did we ever doubt the gratitude of our beloved sovereigns?”
“You have been very happy, dear
child,” said Madame Ragon to Madame Birotteau.
“Yes, indeed,” answered
Constance, always under the spell of the cane parasol,
the butterfly cap, the tight sleeves, and the great
kerchief a la Julie which Madame Ragon wore.
“Cesarine is charming.
Come here, my love,” said Madame Ragon, in her
shrill voice and patronizing manner.
“Shall we do the business before
dinner?” asked uncle Pillerault.
“We are waiting for Monsieur
Claparon,” said Roguin, “I left him dressing
himself.”
“Monsieur Roguin,” said
Cesar, “I hope you told him that we should dine
in a wretched little room on the entresol—”
“He thought it superb sixteen
years ago,” murmured Constance.
“—among workmen and rubbish.”
“Bah! you will find him a good
fellow, with no pretension,” said Roguin.
“I have put Raguet on guard
in the shop. We can’t go through our own
door; everything is pulled down.”
“Why did you not bring your
nephew?” said Pillerault to Madame Ragon.
“Shall we not see him?” asked Cesarine.
“No, my love,” said Madame
Ragon; “Anselme, dear boy, is working himself
to death. That bad-smelling Rue des Cinq-Diamants,
without sun and without air, frightens me. The
gutter is always blue or green or black. I am
afraid he will die of it. But when a young man
has something in his head—” and she
looked at Cesarine with a gesture which explained
that the word head meant heart.
“Has he got his lease?” asked Cesar.
“Yesterday, before a notary,”
replied Ragon. “He took the place for eighteen
years, but they exacted six months’ rent in advance.”
“Well, Monsieur Ragon, are you
satisfied with me?” said the perfumer.
“I have given him the secret of a great discovery—”
“We know you by heart, Cesar,”
said little Ragon, taking Cesar’s hands and
pressing them with religious friendship.
Roguin was not without anxiety as
to Claparon’s entrance on the scene; for his
tone and manners were quite likely to alarm these virtuous
and worthy people; he therefore thought it advisable
to prepare their minds.
“You are going to see,”
he said to Pillerault and the two ladies, “a
thorough original, who hides his methods under a fearfully
bad style of manners; from a very inferior position
he has raised himself up by intelligence. He
will acquire better manners through his intercourse
with bankers. You may see him on the boulevard,
or on a cafe tippling, disorderly, betting at billiards,
and think him a mere idler; but he is not; he is thinking
and studying all the time to keep industry alive by
new projects.”
“I understand that,” said
Birotteau; “I got my great ideas when sauntering
on the boulevard; didn’t I, Mimi?”
“Claparon,” resumed Roguin,
“makes up by night-work the time lost in looking
about him in the daytime, and watching the current
of affairs. All men of great talent lead curious
lives, inexplicable lives; well, in spite of his desultory
ways he attains his object, as I can testify.
In this instance he has managed to make the owners
of these lands give way: they were unwilling,
doubtful, timid; he fooled them all, tired them out,
went to see them every day,—and here we
are, virtually masters of the property.”
At this moment a curious broum!
broum! peculiar to tipplers of brandy and other
liquors, announced the arrival of the most fantastic
personage of our story, and the arbiter in flesh and
blood of the future destinies of Cesar Birotteau.
The perfumer rushed headlong to the little dark staircase,
as much to tell Raguet to close the shop as to pour
out his excuses to Claparon for receiving him in the
dining-room.
“What of that? It’s
the very place to juggle a—I mean to settle
a piece of business.”
In spite of Roguin’s clever
precautions, Monsieur and Madame Ragon, people of
old-fashioned middle-class breeding, the observer
Pillerault, Cesarine, and her mother were disagreeably
impressed at first sight by this sham banker of high
finance.
About twenty-eight years of age at
the time of which we write, the late commercial traveller
possessed not a hair on his head, and wore a wig curled
in ringlets. This head-gear needed, by rights,
a virgin freshness, a lacteal purity of complexion,
and all the softer corresponding graces: as it
was, however, it threw into ignoble relief a pimpled
face, brownish-red in color, inflamed like that of
the conductor of a diligence, and seamed with premature
wrinkles, which betrayed in the puckers of their deep-cut
lines a licentious life, whose misdeeds were still
further evidenced by the badness of the man’s
teeth, and the black speckles which appeared here and
there on his corrugated skin. Claparon had the
air of a provincial comedian who knows all the roles,
and plays the clown with a wink; his cheeks, where
the rouge never stuck, were jaded by excesses, his
lips clammy, though his tongue was forever wagging,
especially when he was drunk; his glances were immodest,
and his gestures compromising. Such a face, flushed
with the jovial features of punch, was enough to turn
grave business matters into a farce; so that the embryo
banker had been forced to put himself through a long
course of mimicry before he managed to acquire even
the semblance of a manner that accorded with his fictitious
importance.
Du Tillet assisted in dressing him
for this occasion, like the manager of a theatre who
is uneasy about the debut of his principal actor; he
feared lest the vulgar habits of this devil-may-care
life should crop up to the surface of the newly-fledged
banker. “Talk as little as you can,”
he said to him. “No banker ever gabbles;
he acts, thinks, reflects, listens, weighs. To
seem like a banker you must say nothing, or, at any
rate, mere nothings. Check that ribald eye of
yours, and look serious, even if you have to look
stupid. If you talk politics, go for the government,
but keep to generalities. For instance: ’The
budget is heavy’; ‘No compromise is possible
between the parties’; ‘The Liberals are
dangerous’; ‘The Bourbons must avoid a
conflict’; ‘Liberalism is the cloak of
a coalition’; ’The Bourbons are inaugurating
an era of prosperity: let us sustain them, even
if we do not like them’; ‘France has had
enough of politics,’ etc. Don’t
gorge yourself at every table where you dine; recollect
you are to maintain the dignity of a millionaire.
Don’t shovel in your snuff like an old Invalide;
toy with your snuff-box, glance often at your feet,
and sometimes at the ceiling, before you answer; try
to look sagacious, if you can. Above all, get
rid of your vile habit of touching everything; in
society a banker ought to seem tired of seeing and
touching things. Hang it! you are supposed to
be passing wakeful nights; finance makes you brusque,
so many elements must be brought together to launch
an enterprise,—so much study! Remember
to take gloomy views of business; it is heavy, dull,
risky, unsettled. Now, don’t go beyond that,
and mind you specify nothing. Don’t sing
those songs of Beranger at table; and don’t
get fuddled. If you are drunk, your future is
lost. Roguin will keep an eye on you. You
are going now among moral people, virtuous people;
and you are not to scare them with any of your pot-house
principles.”
This lecture produced upon the mind
of Charles Claparon very much the effect that his
new clothes produced upon his body. The jovial
scapegrace, easy-going with all the world, and long
used to a comfortable shabbiness, in which his body
was no more shackled than his mind was shackled by
language, was now encased in the new clothes his tailor
had just sent home, rigid as a picket-stake, anxious
about his motions as well as about his speech; drawing
back his hand when it was imprudently thrust out to
grasp a bottle, just as he stopped his tongue in the
middle of a sentence. All this presented a laughable
discrepancy to the keen observation of Pillerault.
Claparon’s red face, and his wig with its profligate
ringlets, gave the lie to his apparel and pretended
bearing, just as his thoughts clashed and jangled
with his speech. But these worthy people ended
by crediting such discordances to the preoccupation
of his busy mind.
“He is so full of business,” said Roguin.
“Business has given him little
education,” whispered Madame Ragon to Cesarine.
Monsieur Roguin overheard her, and
put a finger on his lips:—
“He is rich, clever, and extremely
honorable,” he said, stooping to Madame Ragon’s
ear.
“Something may be forgiven in
consideration of such qualities,” said Pillerault
to Ragon.
“Let us read the deeds before
dinner,” said Roguin; “we are all alone.”
Madame Ragon, Cesarine, and Constance
left the contracting parties to listen to the deeds
read over to them by Alexandre Crottat. Cesar
signed, in favor of one of Roguin’s clients,
a mortgage bond for forty thousand francs, on his
grounds and manufactories in the Faubourg du Temple;
he turned over to Roguin Pillerault’s cheque
on the Bank of France, and gave, without receipt,
bills for twenty thousand francs from his current
funds, and notes for one hundred and forty thousand
francs payable to the order of Claparon.
“I have no receipt to give you,”
said Claparon; “you deal, for your half of the
property, with Monsieur Roguin, as I do for ours.
The sellers will get their pay from him in cash; all
that I engage to do is to see that you get the equivalent
of the hundred and forty thousand francs paid to my
order.”
“That is equitable,” said Pillerault.
“Well, gentlemen, let us call
in the ladies; it is cold without them,” said
Claparon, glancing at Roguin, as if to ask whether
that jest were too broad.
“Ladies! Ah! mademoiselle
is doubtless yours,” said Claparon, holding
himself very straight and looking at Birotteau; “hey!
you are not a bungler. None of the roses you
distil can be compared with her; and perhaps it is
because you have distilled roses that—”
“Faith!” said Roguin,
interrupting him, “I am very hungry.”
“Let us go to dinner,” said Birotteau.
“We shall dine before a notary,” said
Claparon, catching himself up.
“You do a great deal of business?”
said Pillerault, seating himself intentionally next
to Claparon.
“Quantities; by the gross,”
answered the banker. “But it is all heavy,
dull; there are risks, canals. Oh, canals! you
have no idea how canals occupy us; it is easy to explain.
Government needs canals. Canals are a want especially
felt in the departments; they concern commerce, you
know. ‘Rivers,’ said Pascal, ‘are
walking markets.’ We must have markets.
Markets depend on embankments, tremendous earth-works;
earth-works employ the laboring-classes; hence loans,
which find their way back, in the end, to the pockets
of the poor. Voltaire said, ‘Canaux, canards,
canaille!’ But the government has its own engineers;
you can’t get a finger in the matter unless you
get on the right side of them; for the Chamber,—oh,
monsieur, the Chamber does us all the harm in the
world! It won’t take in the political question
hidden under the financial question. There’s
bad faith on one side or the other. Would you
believe it? there’s Keller in the Chamber:
now Francois Keller is an orator, he attacks the government
about the budget, about canals. Well, when he
gets home to the bank, and we go to him with proposals,
canals, and so forth, the sly dog is all the other
way: everything is right; we must arrange it
with the government which he has just been been impudently
attacking. The interests of the orator and the
interests of the banker clash; we are between two fires!
Now, you understand how it is that business is risky;
we have got to please everybody,—clerks,
chambers, antechambers, ministers—”
“Ministers?” said Pillerault,
determined to get to the bottom of this co-associate.
“Yes, monsieur, ministers.”
“Well, then the newspapers are right?”
said Pillerault.
“There’s my uncle talking
politics,” said Birotteau. “Monsieur
Claparon has won his heart.”
“Devilish rogues, the newspapers,”
said Claparon. “Monsieur, the newspapers
do all the mischief. They are useful sometimes,
but they keep me awake many a night. I wish they
didn’t. I have put my eyes out reading
and ciphering.”
“To go back to the ministers,”
said Pillerault, hoping for revelations.
“Ministers are a mere necessity
of government. Ah! what am I eating? ambrosia?”
said Claparon, breaking off. “This is a
sauce you’ll never find except at a tradesman’s
table, for the pot-houses—”
Here the flowers in Madame Ragon’s
cap skipped like young rams. Claparon perceived
the word was low, and tried to catch himself up.
“In bank circles,” he
said, “we call the best cafes.—Very,
and the Freres Provencaux,—pot-houses in
jest. Well, neither those infamous pot-houses
nor our most scientific cooks can make us a sauce like
this; mellifluous! Some give you clear water soured
with lemon, and the rest drugs, chemicals.”
Pillerault tried throughout the dinner
to fathom this extraordinary being; finding only a
void, he began to think him dangerous.
“All’s well,” whispered Roguin to
Claparon.
“I shall get out of these clothes
to-night, at any rate,” answered Claparon, who
was choking.
“Monsieur,” said Cesar,
addressing him, “we are compelled to dine in
this little room because we are preparing, eighteen
days hence, to assemble our friends, as much to celebrate
the emancipation of our territory—”
“Right, monsieur; I myself am
for the government. I belong, in opinion, to
the statu quo of the great man who guides the
destinies of the house of Austria, jolly dog!
Hold fast that you may acquire; and, above all, acquire
that you may hold. Those are my opinions, which
I have the honor to share with Prince Metternich.”
“—as to commemorate
my promotion to the order of the Legion of honor,”
continued Cesar.
“Yes, I know. Who told
me of that,—the Kellers, or Nucingen?”
Roguin, surprised at such tact, made
an admiring gesture.
“No, no; it was in the Chamber.”
“In the Chamber? was it Monsieur de la Billardiere?”
said Birotteau.
“Precisely.”
“He is charming,” whispered Cesar to his
uncle.
“He pours out phrases, phrases,
phrases,” said Pillerault, “enough to
drown you.”
“Possibly I showed myself worthy
of this signal, royal favor,—” resumed
Birotteau.
“By your labors in perfumery;
the Bourbons know how to reward all merit. Ah!
let us support those generous princes, to whom we are
about to owe unheard-of prosperity. Believe me,
the Restoration feels that it must run a tilt against
the Empire; the Bourbons have conquests to make, the
conquests of peace. You will see their conquests!”
“Monsieur will perhaps do us
the honor to be present at our ball?” said Madame
Cesar.
“To pass an evening with you,
Madame, I would sacrifice the making of millions.”
“He certainly does chatter,” said Cesar
to his uncle.
* * *
*
While the declining glory of perfumery
was about to send forth its setting rays, a star was
rising with feeble light upon the commercial horizon.
Anselme Popinot was laying the corner-stone of his
fortune in the Rue des Cinq-Diamants. This narrow
little street, where loaded wagons can scarcely pass
each other, runs from the Rue des Lombards at one
end, to the Rue Aubry-le-Boucher at the other, entering
the latter opposite to the Rue Quincampoix, that famous
thoroughfare of old Paris where French history has
so often been enacted. In spite of this disadvantage,
the congregation of druggists in that neighborhood
made Popinot’s choice of the little street a
good one. The house, which stands second from
the Rue des Lombards, was so dark that except at certain
seasons it was necessary to use lights in open day.
The embryo merchant had taken possession, the preceding
evening, of the dingy and disgusting premises.
His predecessor, who sold molasses and coarse sugars,
had left the stains of his dirty business upon the
walls, in the court, in the store-rooms. Imagine
a large and spacious shop, with great iron-bound doors,
painted a dragon-green, strengthened with long iron
bars held on by nails whose heads looked like mushrooms,
and covered with an iron trellis-work, which swelled
out at the bottom after the fashion of the bakers’-shops
in former days; the floor paved with large white stones,
most of them broken, the walls yellow, and as bare
as those of a guard-room. Next to the shop came
the back-shop, and two other rooms lighted from the
street, in which Popinot proposed to put his office,
his books, and his own workroom. Above these rooms
were three narrow little chambers pushed up against
the party-wall, with an outlook into the court; here
he intended to dwell. The three rooms were dilapidated,
and had no view but that of the court, which was dark,
irregular, and surrounded by high walls, to which perpetual
dampness, even in dry weather, gave the look of being
daubed with fresh plaster. Between the stones
of this court was a filthy and stinking black substance,
left by the sugars and the molasses that once occupied
it. Only one of the bedrooms had a chimney, all
the walls were without paper, and the floors were
tiled with brick.
Since early morning Gaudissart and
Popinot, helped by a journeyman whose services the
commercial traveller had invoked, were busily employed
in stretching a fifteen-sous paper on the walls of
these horrible rooms, the workman pasting the lengths.
A collegian’s mattress on a bedstead of red
wood, a shabby night-stand, an old-fashioned bureau,
one table, two armchairs, and six common chairs, the
gift of Popinot’s uncle the judge, made up the
furniture. Gaudissart had decked the chimney-piece
with a frame in which was a mirror much defaced, and
bought at a bargain. Towards eight o’clock
in the evening the two friends, seated before the
fireplace where a fagot of wood was blazing, were
about to attack the remains of their breakfast.
“Down with the cold mutton!”
cried Gaudissart, suddenly, “it is not worthy
of such a housewarming.”
“But,” said Popinot, showing
his solitary coin of twenty francs, which he was keeping
to pay for the prospectus, “I—”
“I—” cried
Gaudissart, sticking a forty-franc piece in his own
eye.
A knock resounded throughout the court,
naturally empty and echoing of a Sunday, when the
workpeople were away from it and the laboratories
empty.
“Here comes the faithful slave
of the Rue de la Poterie!” cried the illustrious
Gaudissart.
Sure enough, a waiter entered, followed
by two scullions bearing in three baskets a dinner,
and six bottles of wine selected with discernment.
“How shall we ever eat it all up?” said
Popinot.
“The man of letters!”
cried Gaudissart, “don’t forget him.
Finot loves the pomps and the vanities; he is coming,
the innocent boy, armed with a dishevelled prospectus—the
word is pat, hein? Prospectuses are always thirsty.
We must water the seed if we want flowers. Depart,
slaves!” he added, with a gorgeous air, “there
is gold for you.”
He gave them ten sous with a gesture
worthy of Napoleon, his idol.
“Thank you, Monsieur Gaudissart,”
said the scullions, better pleased with the jest than
with the money.
“As for you, my son,”
he said to the waiter, who stayed to serve the dinner,
“below is a porter’s wife; she lives in
a lair where she sometimes cooks, as in other days
Nausicaa washed, for pure amusement. Find her,
implore her goodness; interest her, young man, in the
warmth of these dishes. Tell her she shall be
blessed, and above all, respected, most respected,
by Felix Gaudissart, son of Jean-Francois Gaudissart,
grandson of all the Gaudissarts, vile proletaries of
ancient birth, his forefathers. March! and mind
that everything is hot, or I’ll deal retributive
justice by a rap on your knuckles!”
Another knock sounded.
“Here comes the pungent Andoche!” shouted
Gaudissart.
A stout, chubby-faced fellow of medium
height, from head to foot the evident son of a hat-maker,
with round features whose shrewdness was hidden under
a restrained and subdued manner, suddenly appeared.
His face, which was melancholy, like that of a man
weary of poverty, lighted up hilariously when he caught
sight of the table, and the bottles swathed in significant
napkins. At Gaudissart’s shout, his pale-blue
eyes sparkled, his big head, hollowed like that of
a Kalmuc Tartar, bobbed from right to left, and he
bowed to Popinot with a queer manner, which meant
neither servility nor respect, but was rather that
of a man who feels he is not in his right place and
will make no concessions. He was just beginning
to find out that he possessed no literary talent whatever;
he meant to stay in the profession, however, by living
on the brains of others, and getting astride the shoulders
of those more able than himself, making his profit
there instead of struggling any longer at his own ill-paid
work. At the present moment he had drunk to the
dregs the humiliation of applications and appeals
which constantly failed, and he was now, like people
in the higher walks of finance, about to change his
tone and become insolent, advisedly. But he needed
a small sum in hand on which to start, and Gaudissart
gave him a share in the present affair of ushering
into the world the oil of Popinot.
“You are to negotiate on his
account with the newspapers. But don’t
play double; if you do I’ll fight you to the
death. Give him his money’s worth.”
Popinot gazed at “the author”
which much uneasiness. People who are purely
commercial look upon an author with mingled sentiments
of fear, compassion, and curiosity. Though Popinot
had been well brought up, the habits of his relations,
their ideas, and the obfuscating effect of a shop
and a counting-room, had lowered his intelligence by
bending it to the use and wont of his calling,—a
phenomenon which may often be seen if we observe the
transformations which take place in a hundred comrades,
when ten years supervene between the time when they
leave college or a public school, to all intents and
purposes alike, and the period when they meet again
after contact with the world. Andoche accepted
Popinot’s perturbation as a compliment.
“Now then, before dinner, let’s
get to the bottom of the prospectus; then we can drink
without an afterthought,” said Gaudissart.
“After dinner one reads askew; the tongue digests.”
“Monsieur,” said Popinot,
“a prospectus is often a fortune.”
“And for plebeians like myself,”
said Andoche, “fortune is nothing more than
a prospectus.”
“Ha, very good!” cried
Gaudissart, “that rogue of a Finot has the wit
of the forty Academicians.”
“Of a hundred Academicians,”
said Popinot, bewildered by these ideas.
The impatient Gaudissart seized the
manuscript and began to read in a loud voice, with
much emphasis, “CEPHALIC OIL.”
“I should prefer Oil Cesarienne,”
said Popinot.
“My friend,” said Gaudissart,
“you don’t know the provincials; there’s
a surgical operation called by that name, and they
are such stupids that they’ll think your oil
is meant to facilitate childbirth. To drag them
back from that to hair is beyond even my powers of
persuasion.”
“Without wishing to defend my
term,” said the author, “I must ask you
to observe that ‘Cephalic Oil’ means oil
for the head, and sums up your ideas in one word.”
“Well, let us see,” said Popinot impatiently.
Here follows the prospectus; the same
which the trade receives, by the thousand, to the
present day (another piece justificative):—
GOLD
MEDAL
EXPOSITION OF 1819
CEPHALIC
OIL
Patents for Invention
and Improvements.
“No cosmetic can make the hair grow,
and no chemical preparation can dye it without peril
to the seat of intelligence. Science has recently
made known the fact that hair is a dead substance,
and that no agent can prevent it from falling off
or whitening. To prevent Baldness and Dandruff,
it is necessary to protect the bulb from which the
hair issues from all deteriorating atmospheric influences,
and to maintain the temperature of the head at its
right medium. CEPHALIC OIL, based upon principles
laid down by the Academy of Sciences, produces this
important result, sought by the ancients,—the
Greeks, the Romans, and all Northern nations,—to
whom the preservation of the hair was peculiarly
precious. Certain scientific researches have
demonstrated that nobles, formerly distinguished
for the length of their hair, used no other remedy
than this; their method of preparation, which had
been lost in the lapse of ages, has been intelligently
re-discovered by A. Popinot, the inventor of CEPHALIC
OIL.
“To preserve, rather than
provoke a useless and injurious stimulation of the
instrument which contains the bulbs, is the mission
of CEPHALIC OIL. In short, this oil, which counteracts
the exfoliation of pellicular atoms, which exhales
a soothing perfume, and arrests, by means of the
substances of which it is composed (among them more
especially the oil of nuts), the action of the outer
air upon the scalp, also prevents influenzas, colds
in the head, and other painful cephalic afflictions,
by maintaining the normal temperature of the cranium.
Consequently, the bulbs, which contain the generating
fluids, are neither chilled by cold nor parched
by heat. The hair of the head, that magnificent
product, priceless alike to man and woman, will
be preserved even to advanced age, in all the brilliancy
and lustre which bestow their charm upon the heads
of infancy, by those who make use of CEPHALIC OIL.
“DIRECTIONS FOR USE are furnished
with each bottle, and serve as a
wrapper.
“METHOD OF USING CEPHALIC OIL.—It
is quite useless to oil the hair; this is not only
a vulgar and foolish prejudice, but an untidy habit,
for the reason that all cosmetics leave their trace.
It suffices to wet a little sponge in the oil, and
after parting the hair with the comb, to apply it
at the roots in such a manner that the whole skin
of the head may be enabled to imbibe it, after the
scalp has received a preliminary cleansing with brush
and comb.
“The oil is sold in bottles bearing
the signature of the inventor,
to prevent counterfeits. Price, THREE
FRANCS. A. POPINOT, Rue des
Cinq-Diamants, quartier des Lombards,
Paris.
“It is requested that all letters
be prepaid.
“N.B. The house of A. Popinot
supplies all oils and essences
appertaining to druggists: lavender,
oil of almonds, sweet and
bitter, orange oil, cocoa-nut oil, castor
oil, and others.”
“My dear friend,” said
the illustrious Gaudissart to Finot, “it is
admirably written. Thunder and lightning! we are
in the upper regions of science. We shirk nothing;
we go straight to the point. That’s useful
literature; I congratulate you.”
“A noble prospectus!” cried Popinot, enthusiastically.
“A prospectus which slays Macassar
at the first word,” continued Gaudissart, rising
with a magisterial air to deliver the following speech,
which he divided by gestures and pauses in his most
parliamentary manner.
“No—hair—can
be made—to grow! Hair cannot be dyed
without—danger! Ha! ha! success is
there. Modern science is in union with the customs
of the ancients. We can deal with young and old
alike. We can say to the old man, ’Ha,
monsieur! the ancients, the Greeks and Romans, knew
a thing or two, and were not so stupid as some would
have us believe’; and we can say to the young
man, ’My dear boy, here’s another discovery
due to progress and the lights of science. We
advance; what may we not obtain from steam and telegraphy,
and other things! This oil is based on the scientific
treatise of Monsieur Vauquelin!’ Suppose we
print an extract from Monsieur Vauquelin’s report
to the Academy of Sciences, confirming our statement,
hein? Famous! Come, Finot, sit down; attack
the viands! Soak up the champagne! let us drink
to the success of my young friend, here present!”
“I felt,” said the author
modestly, “that the epoch of flimsy and frivolous
prospectuses had gone by; we are entering upon an era
of science; we need an academical tone,—a
tone of authority, which imposes upon the public.”
“We’ll boil that oil;
my feet itch, and my tongue too. I’ve got
commissions from all the rival hair people; none of
them give more than thirty per cent discount; we must
manage forty on every hundred remitted, and I’ll
answer for a hundred thousand bottles in six months.
I’ll attack apothecaries, grocers, perfumers!
Give ’em forty per cent, and they’ll bamboozle
the public.”
The three young fellows devoured their
dinner like lions, and drank like lords to the future
success of Cephalic Oil.
“The oil is getting into my head,” said
Finot.
Gaudissart poured out a series of
jokes and puns upon hats and heads, and hair and hair-oil,
etc. In the midst of Homeric laughter a knock
resounded, and was heard, in spite of an uproar of
toasts and reciprocal congratulations.
“It is my uncle!” cried
Popinot. “He has actually come to see me.”
“An uncle!” said Finot, “and we
haven’t got a glass!”
“The uncle of my friend Popinot
is a judge,” said Gaudissart to Finot, “and
he is not to be hoaxed; he saved my life. Ha!
when one gets to the pass where I was, under the scaffold—Qou-ick,
and good-by to your hair,”—imitating
the fatal knife with voice and gesture. “One
recollects gratefully the virtuous magistrate who saved
the gutter where the champagne flows down. Recollect?—I’d
recollect him dead-drunk! You don’t know
what it is, Finot, unless you have stood in need of
Monsieur Popinot. Huzza! we ought to fire a salute—from
six pounders, too!”
The virtuous magistrate was now asking
for his nephew at the door. Recognizing his voice,
Anselme went down, candlestick in hand, to light him
up.
“I wish you good evening, gentlemen,”
said the judge.
The illustrious Gaudissart bowed profoundly.
Finot examined the magistrate with a tipsy eye, and
thought him a bit of a blockhead.
“You have not much luxury here,”
said the judge, gravely, looking round the room.
“Well, my son, if we wish to be something great,
we must begin by being nothing.”
“What profound wisdom!” said Gaudissart
to Finot.
“Text for an article,” said the journalist.
“Ah! you here, monsieur?”
said the judge, recognizing the commercial traveller;
“and what are you doing now?”
“Monsieur, I am contributing
to the best of my small ability to the success of
your dear nephew. We have just been studying a
prospectus for his oil; you see before you the author
of that prospectus, which seems to us the finest essay
in the literature of wigs.” The judge looked
at Finot. “Monsieur,” said Gaudissart,
“is Monsieur Andoche Finot, a young man distinguished
in literature, who does high-class politics and the
little theatres in the government newspapers,—I
may say a statesman on the high-road to becoming an
author.”
Finot pulled Gaudissart by the coat-tails.
“Well, well, my sons,”
said the judge, to whom these words explained the
aspect of the table, where there stilled remained the
tokens of a very excusable feast. “Anselme,”
said the old gentleman to his nephew, “dress
yourself, and come with me to Monsieur Birotteau’s,
where I have a visit to pay. You shall sign the
deed of partnership, which I have carefully examined.
As you mean to have the manufactory for your oil on
the grounds in the Faubourg du Temple, I think you
had better take a formal lease of them. Monsieur
Birotteau might have others in partnership with him,
and it is better to settle everything legally at once;
then there can be no discussion. These walls seem
to me very damp, my dear boy; take up the straw matting
near your bed.”
“Permit me, monsieur,”
said Gaudissart, with an ingratiating air, “to
explain to you that we have just pasted up the paper
ourselves, and that’s the—reason
why—the walls—are not—dry.”
“Economy? quite right,” said the judge.
“Look here,” said Gaudissart
in Finot’s ear, “my friend Popinot is a
virtuous young man; he is going with his uncle; let’s
you and I go and finish the evening with our cousins.”
The journalist showed the empty lining
of his pockets. Popinot saw the gesture, and
slipped his twenty-franc piece into the palm of the
author of the prospectus.
The judge had a coach at the end of
the street, in which he carried off his nephew to
the Birotteaus.