My Antonia

Soon after I got home that summer, I persuaded my grandparents to have their photographs taken, and one morning I went into the photographer’s shop to arrange for sittings.  While I was waiting for him to come out of his developing-room, I walked about trying to recognize the likenesses on his walls:  girls in Commencement dresses, country brides and grooms holding hands, family groups of three generations.  I noticed, in a heavy frame, one of those depressing `crayon enlargements’ often seen in farm-house parlours, the subject being a round-eyed baby in short dresses.  The photographer came out and gave a constrained, apologetic laugh.

`That’s Tony Shimerda’s baby.  You remember her; she used to be the Harlings’ Tony.  Too bad!  She seems proud of the baby, though; wouldn’t hear to a cheap frame for the picture.  I expect her brother will be in for it Saturday.’

I went away feeling that I must see Antonia again.  Another girl would have kept her baby out of sight, but Tony, of course, must have its picture on exhibition at the town photographer’s, in a great gilt frame.  How like her!  I could forgive her, I told myself, if she hadn’t thrown herself away on such a cheap sort of fellow.

Larry Donovan was a passenger conductor, one of those train-crew aristocrats who are always afraid that someone may ask them to put up a car-window, and who, if requested to perform such a menial service, silently point to the button that calls the porter.  Larry wore this air of official aloofness even on the street, where there were no car-windows to compromise his dignity.  At the end of his run he stepped indifferently from the train along with the passengers, his street hat on his head and his conductor’s cap in an alligator-skin bag, went directly into the station and changed his clothes.  It was a matter of the utmost importance to him never to be seen in his blue trousers away from his train.  He was usually cold and distant with men, but with all women he had a silent, grave familiarity, a special handshake, accompanied by a significant, deliberate look.  He took women, married or single, into his confidence; walked them up and down in the moonlight, telling them what a mistake he had made by not entering the office branch of the service, and how much better fitted he was to fill the post of General Passenger Agent in Denver than the rough-shod man who then bore that title.  His unappreciated worth was the tender secret Larry shared with his sweethearts, and he was always able to make some foolish heart ache over it.

As I drew near home that morning, I saw Mrs. Harling out in her yard, digging round her mountain-ash tree.  It was a dry summer, and she had now no boy to help her.  Charley was off in his battleship, cruising somewhere on the Caribbean sea.  I turned in at the gate it was with a feeling of pleasure that I opened and shut that gate in those days; I liked the feel of it under my hand.  I took the spade away from Mrs. Harling, and while I loosened the earth around the tree, she sat down on the steps and talked about the oriole family that had a nest in its branches.

`Mrs. Harling,’ I said presently, `I wish I could find out exactly how Antonia’s marriage fell through.’

`Why don’t you go out and see your grandfather’s tenant, the Widow Steavens?  She knows more about it than anybody else.  She helped Antonia get ready to be married, and she was there when Antonia came back.  She took care of her when the baby was born.  She could tell you everything.  Besides, the Widow Steavens is a good talker, and she has a remarkable memory.’