It was not until it was getting dark
that evening that Gregor awoke from his deep and coma-like
sleep. He would have woken soon afterwards anyway
even if he hadn’t been disturbed, as he had had
enough sleep and felt fully rested. But he had
the impression that some hurried steps and the sound
of the door leading into the front room being carefully
shut had woken him. The light from the electric
street lamps shone palely here and there onto the ceiling
and tops of the furniture, but down below, where Gregor
was, it was dark. He pushed himself over to
the door, feeling his way clumsily with his antennae
— of which he was now beginning to learn the
value – in order to see what had been happening there.
The whole of his left side seemed like one, painfully
stretched scar, and he limped badly on his two rows
of legs. One of the legs had been badly injured
in the events of that morning — it was nearly
a miracle that only one of them had been — and
dragged along lifelessly.
It was only when he had reached the
door that he realised what it actually was that had
drawn him over to it; it was the smell of something
to eat. By the door there was a dish filled with
sweetened milk with little pieces of white bread floating
in it. He was so pleased he almost laughed,
as he was even hungrier than he had been that morning,
and immediately dipped his head into the milk, nearly
covering his eyes with it. But he soon drew his
head back again in disappointment; not only did the
pain in his tender left side make it difficult to
eat the food — he was only able to eat if his
whole body worked together as a snuffling whole —
but the milk did not taste at all nice. Milk
like this was normally his favourite drink, and his
sister had certainly left it there for him because
of that, but he turned, almost against his own will,
away from the dish and crawled back into the centre
of the room.
Through the crack in the door, Gregor
could see that the gas had been lit in the living
room. His father at this time would normally
be sat with his evening paper, reading it out in a
loud voice to Gregor’s mother, and sometimes
to his sister, but there was now not a sound to be
heard. Gregor’s sister would often write
and tell him about this reading, but maybe his father
had lost the habit in recent times. It was so
quiet all around too, even though there must have
been somebody in the flat. “What a quiet
life it is the family lead”, said Gregor to
himself, and, gazing into the darkness, felt a great
pride that he was able to provide a life like that
in such a nice home for his sister and parents.
But what now, if all this peace and wealth and comfort
should come to a horrible and frightening end?
That was something that Gregor did not want to think
about too much, so he started to move about, crawling
up and down the room.
Once during that long evening, the
door on one side of the room was opened very slightly
and hurriedly closed again; later on the door on the
other side did the same; it seemed that someone needed
to enter the room but thought better of it.
Gregor went and waited immediately by the door, resolved
either to bring the timorous visitor into the room
in some way or at least to find out who it was; but
the door was opened no more that night and Gregor waited
in vain. The previous morning while the doors
were locked everyone had wanted to get in there to
him, but now, now that he had opened up one of the
doors and the other had clearly been unlocked some
time during the day, no-one came, and the keys were
in the other sides.
It was not until late at night that
the gaslight in the living room was put out, and now
it was easy to see that parents and sister had stayed
awake all that time, as they all could be distinctly
heard as they went away together on tip-toe.
It was clear that no-one would come into Gregor’s
room any more until morning; that gave him plenty
of time to think undisturbed about how he would have
to re-arrange his life. For some reason, the
tall, empty room where he was forced to remain made
him feel uneasy as he lay there flat on the floor,
even though he had been living in it for five years.
Hardly aware of what he was doing other than a slight
feeling of shame, he hurried under the couch.
It pressed down on his back a little, and he was
no longer able to lift his head, but he nonetheless
felt immediately at ease and his only regret was that
his body was too broad to get it all underneath.
He spent the whole night there.
Some of the time he passed in a light sleep, although
he frequently woke from it in alarm because of his
hunger, and some of the time was spent in worries and
vague hopes which, however, always led to the same
conclusion: for the time being he must remain
calm, he must show patience and the greatest consideration
so that his family could bear the unpleasantness that
he, in his present condition, was forced to impose
on them.
Gregor soon had the opportunity to
test the strength of his decisions, as early the next
morning, almost before the night had ended, his sister,
nearly fully dressed, opened the door from the front
room and looked anxiously in. She did not see
him straight away, but when she did notice him under
the couch — he had to be somewhere, for God’s
sake, he couldn’t have flown away — she
was so shocked that she lost control of herself and
slammed the door shut again from outside. But
she seemed to regret her behaviour, as she opened
the door again straight away and came in on tip-toe
as if entering the room of someone seriously ill or
even of a stranger. Gregor had pushed his head
forward, right to the edge of the couch, and watched
her. Would she notice that he had left the milk
as it was, realise that it was not from any lack of
hunger and bring him in some other food that was more
suitable? If she didn’t do it herself he
would rather go hungry than draw her attention to it,
although he did feel a terrible urge to rush forward
from under the couch, throw himself at his sister’s
feet and beg her for something good to eat.
However, his sister noticed the full dish immediately
and looked at it and the few drops of milk splashed
around it with some surprise. She immediately
picked it up — using a rag, not her bare hands
— and carried it out. Gregor was extremely
curious as to what she would bring in its place, imagining
the wildest possibilities, but he never could have
guessed what his sister, in her goodness, actually
did bring. In order to test his taste, she brought
him a whole selection of things, all spread out on
an old newspaper. There were old, half-rotten
vegetables; bones from the evening meal, covered in
white sauce that had gone hard; a few raisins and
almonds; some cheese that Gregor had declared inedible
two days before; a dry roll and some bread spread with
butter and salt. As well as all that she had
poured some water into the dish, which had probably
been permanently set aside for Gregor’s use,
and placed it beside them. Then, out of consideration
for Gregor’s feelings, as she knew that he would
not eat in front of her, she hurried out again and
even turned the key in the lock so that Gregor would
know he could make things as comfortable for himself
as he liked. Gregor’s little legs whirred,
at last he could eat. What’s more, his
injuries must already have completely healed as he
found no difficulty in moving. This amazed him,
as more than a month earlier he had cut his finger
slightly with a knife, he thought of how his finger
had still hurt the day before yesterday. “Am
I less sensitive than I used to be, then?”, he
thought, and was already sucking greedily at the cheese
which had immediately, almost compellingly, attracted
him much more than the other foods on the newspaper.
Quickly one after another, his eyes watering with
pleasure, he consumed the cheese, the vegetables and
the sauce; the fresh foods, on the other hand, he
didn’t like at all, and even dragged the things
he did want to eat a little way away from them because
he couldn’t stand the smell. Long after
he had finished eating and lay lethargic in the same
place, his sister slowly turned the key in the lock
as a sign to him that he should withdraw. He
was immediately startled, although he had been half
asleep, and he hurried back under the couch.
But he needed great self-control to stay there even
for the short time that his sister was in the room,
as eating so much food had rounded out his body a little
and he could hardly breathe in that narrow space.
Half suffocating, he watched with bulging eyes as
his sister unselfconsciously took a broom and swept
up the left-overs, mixing them in with the food he
had not even touched at all as if it could not be used
any more. She quickly dropped it all into a bin,
closed it with its wooden lid, and carried everything
out. She had hardly turned her back before Gregor
came out again from under the couch and stretched
himself.
This was how Gregor received his food
each day now, once in the morning while his parents
and the maid were still asleep, and the second time
after everyone had eaten their meal at midday as his
parents would sleep for a little while then as well,
and Gregor’s sister would send the maid away
on some errand. Gregor’s father and mother
certainly did not want him to starve either, but perhaps
it would have been more than they could stand to have
any more experience of his feeding than being told
about it, and perhaps his sister wanted to spare them
what distress she could as they were indeed suffering
enough.
It was impossible for Gregor to find
out what they had told the doctor and the locksmith
that first morning to get them out of the flat.
As nobody could understand him, nobody, not even his
sister, thought that he could understand them, so
he had to be content to hear his sister’s sighs
and appeals to the saints as she moved about his room.
It was only later, when she had become a little more
used to everything — there was, of course, no
question of her ever becoming fully used to the situation
— that Gregor would sometimes catch a friendly
comment, or at least a comment that could be construed
as friendly. “He’s enjoyed his dinner
today”, she might say when he had diligently
cleared away all the food left for him, or if he left
most of it, which slowly became more and more frequent,
she would often say, sadly, “now everything’s
just been left there again”.
Although Gregor wasn’t able
to hear any news directly he did listen to much of
what was said in the next rooms, and whenever he heard
anyone speaking he would scurry straight to the appropriate
door and press his whole body against it. There
was seldom any conversation, especially at first,
that was not about him in some way, even if only in
secret. For two whole days, all the talk at every
mealtime was about what they should do now; but even
between meals they spoke about the same subject as
there were always at least two members of the family
at home — nobody wanted to be at home by themselves
and it was out of the question to leave the flat entirely
empty. And on the very first day the maid had
fallen to her knees and begged Gregor’s mother
to let her go without delay. It was not very
clear how much she knew of what had happened but she
left within a quarter of an hour, tearfully thanking
Gregor’s mother for her dismissal as if she
had done her an enormous service. She even swore
emphatically not to tell anyone the slightest about
what had happened, even though no-one had asked that
of her.
Now Gregor’s sister also had
to help his mother with the cooking; although that
was not so much bother as no-one ate very much.
Gregor often heard how one of them would unsuccessfully
urge another to eat, and receive no more answer than
“no thanks, I’ve had enough” or
something similar. No-one drank very much either.
His sister would sometimes ask his father whether
he would like a beer, hoping for the chance to go
and fetch it herself. When his father then said
nothing she would add, so that he would not feel selfish,
that she could send the housekeeper for it, but then
his father would close the matter with a big, loud
“No”, and no more would be said.
Even before the first day had come
to an end, his father had explained to Gregor’s
mother and sister what their finances and prospects
were. Now and then he stood up from the table
and took some receipt or document from the little
cash box he had saved from his business when it had
collapsed five years earlier. Gregor heard how
he opened the complicated lock and then closed it again
after he had taken the item he wanted. What
he heard his father say was some of the first good
news that Gregor heard since he had first been incarcerated
in his room. He had thought that nothing at all
remained from his father’s business, at least
he had never told him anything different, and Gregor
had never asked him about it anyway. Their business
misfortune had reduced the family to a state of total
despair, and Gregor’s only concern at that time
had been to arrange things so that they could all
forget about it as quickly as possible. So then
he started working especially hard, with a fiery vigour
that raised him from a junior salesman to a travelling
representative almost overnight, bringing with it the
chance to earn money in quite different ways.
Gregor converted his success at work straight into
cash that he could lay on the table at home for the
benefit of his astonished and delighted family.
They had been good times and they had never come
again, at least not with the same splendour, even
though Gregor had later earned so much that he was
in a position to bear the costs of the whole family,
and did bear them. They had even got used to
it, both Gregor and the family, they took the money
with gratitude and he was glad to provide it, although
there was no longer much warm affection given in return.
Gregor only remained close to his sister now.
Unlike him, she was very fond of music and a gifted
and expressive violinist, it was his secret plan to
send her to the conservatory next year even though
it would cause great expense that would have to be
made up for in some other way. During Gregor’s
short periods in town, conversation with his sister
would often turn to the conservatory but it was only
ever mentioned as a lovely dream that could never
be realised. Their parents did not like to hear
this innocent talk, but Gregor thought about it quite
hard and decided he would let them know what he planned
with a grand announcement of it on Christmas day.
That was the sort of totally pointless
thing that went through his mind in his present state,
pressed upright against the door and listening.
There were times when he simply became too tired to
continue listening, when his head would fall wearily
against the door and he would pull it up again with
a start, as even the slightest noise he caused would
be heard next door and they would all go silent.
“What’s that he’s doing now”,
his father would say after a while, clearly having
gone over to the door, and only then would the interrupted
conversation slowly be taken up again.
When explaining things, his father
repeated himself several times, partly because it
was a long time since he had been occupied with these
matters himself and partly because Gregor’s mother
did not understand everything first time. From
these repeated explanations Gregor learned, to his
pleasure, that despite all their misfortunes there
was still some money available from the old days.
It was not a lot, but it had not been touched in
the meantime and some interest had accumulated.
Besides that, they had not been using up all the
money that Gregor had been bringing home every month,
keeping only a little for himself, so that that, too,
had been accumulating. Behind the door, Gregor
nodded with enthusiasm in his pleasure at this unexpected
thrift and caution. He could actually have used
this surplus money to reduce his father’s debt
to his boss, and the day when he could have freed
himself from that job would have come much closer,
but now it was certainly better the way his father
had done things.
This money, however, was certainly
not enough to enable the family to live off the interest;
it was enough to maintain them for, perhaps, one or
two years, no more. That’s to say, it was
money that should not really be touched but set aside
for emergencies; money to live on had to be earned.
His father was healthy but old, and lacking in self
confidence. During the five years that he had
not been working — the first holiday in a life
that had been full of strain and no success —
he had put on a lot of weight and become very slow
and clumsy. Would Gregor’s elderly mother
now have to go and earn money? She suffered from
asthma and it was a strain for her just to move about
the home, every other day would be spent struggling
for breath on the sofa by the open window. Would
his sister have to go and earn money? She was
still a child of seventeen, her life up till then
had been very enviable, consisting of wearing nice
clothes, sleeping late, helping out in the business,
joining in with a few modest pleasures and most of
all playing the violin. Whenever they began
to talk of the need to earn money, Gregor would always
first let go of the door and then throw himself onto
the cool, leather sofa next to it, as he became quite
hot with shame and regret.
He would often lie there the whole
night through, not sleeping a wink but scratching
at the leather for hours on end. Or he might
go to all the effort of pushing a chair to the window,
climbing up onto the sill and, propped up in the chair,
leaning on the window to stare out of it. He
had used to feel a great sense of freedom from doing
this, but doing it now was obviously something more
remembered than experienced, as what he actually
saw in this way was becoming less distinct every day,
even things that were quite near; he had used to curse
the ever-present view of the hospital across the street,
but now he could not see it at all, and if he had not
known that he lived in Charlottenstrasse, which was
a quiet street despite being in the middle of the
city, he could have thought that he was looking out
the window at a barren waste where the grey sky and
the grey earth mingled inseparably. His observant
sister only needed to notice the chair twice before
she would always push it back to its exact position
by the window after she had tidied up the room, and
even left the inner pane of the window open from then
on.
If Gregor had only been able to speak
to his sister and thank her for all that she had to
do for him it would have been easier for him to bear
it; but as it was it caused him pain. His sister,
naturally, tried as far as possible to pretend there
was nothing burdensome about it, and the longer it
went on, of course, the better she was able to do
so, but as time went by Gregor was also able to see
through it all so much better. It had even become
very unpleasant for him, now, whenever she entered
the room. No sooner had she come in than she
would quickly close the door as a precaution so that
no-one would have to suffer the view into Gregor’s
room, then she would go straight to the window and
pull it hurriedly open almost as if she were suffocating.
Even if it was cold, she would stay at the window
breathing deeply for a little while. She would
alarm Gregor twice a day with this running about and
noise making; he would stay under the couch shivering
the whole while, knowing full well that she would
certainly have liked to spare him this ordeal, but
it was impossible for her to be in the same room with
him with the windows closed.
One day, about a month after Gregor’s
transformation when his sister no longer had any particular
reason to be shocked at his appearance, she came into
the room a little earlier than usual and found him
still staring out the window, motionless, and just
where he would be most horrible. In itself,
his sister’s not coming into the room would
have been no surprise for Gregor as it would have been
difficult for her to immediately open the window while
he was still there, but not only did she not come
in, she went straight back and closed the door behind
her, a stranger would have thought he had threatened
her and tried to bite her. Gregor went straight
to hide himself under the couch, of course, but he
had to wait until midday before his sister came back
and she seemed much more uneasy than usual.
It made him realise that she still found his appearance
unbearable and would continue to do so, she probably
even had to overcome the urge to flee when she saw
the little bit of him that protruded from under the
couch. One day, in order to spare her even this
sight, he spent four hours carrying the bedsheet over
to the couch on his back and arranged it so that he
was completely covered and his sister would not be
able to see him even if she bent down. If she
did not think this sheet was necessary then all she
had to do was take it off again, as it was clear enough
that it was no pleasure for Gregor to cut himself
off so completely. She left the sheet where
it was. Gregor even thought he glimpsed a look
of gratitude one time when he carefully looked out
from under the sheet to see how his sister liked the
new arrangement.
For the first fourteen days, Gregor’s
parents could not bring themselves to come into the
room to see him. He would often hear them say
how they appreciated all the new work his sister was
doing even though, before, they had seen her as a
girl who was somewhat useless and frequently been
annoyed with her. But now the two of them, father
and mother, would often both wait outside the door
of Gregor’s room while his sister tidied up
in there, and as soon as she went out again she would
have to tell them exactly how everything looked, what
Gregor had eaten, how he had behaved this time and
whether, perhaps, any slight improvement could be seen.
His mother also wanted to go in and visit Gregor relatively
soon but his father and sister at first persuaded
her against it. Gregor listened very closely
to all this, and approved fully. Later, though,
she had to be held back by force, which made her call
out: “Let me go and see Gregor, he is my
unfortunate son! Can’t you understand I
have to see him?”, and Gregor would think to
himself that maybe it would be better if his mother
came in, not every day of course, but one day a week,
perhaps; she could understand everything much better
than his sister who, for all her courage, was still
just a child after all, and really might not have had
an adult’s appreciation of the burdensome job
she had taken on.
Gregor’s wish to see his mother
was soon realised. Out of consideration for
his parents, Gregor wanted to avoid being seen at
the window during the day, the few square meters of
the floor did not give him much room to crawl about,
it was hard to just lie quietly through the night,
his food soon stopped giving him any pleasure at all,
and so, to entertain himself, he got into the habit
of crawling up and down the walls and ceiling.
He was especially fond of hanging from the ceiling;
it was quite different from lying on the floor; he
could breathe more freely; his body had a light swing
to it; and up there, relaxed and almost happy, it might
happen that he would surprise even himself by letting
go of the ceiling and landing on the floor with a
crash. But now, of course, he had far better
control of his body than before and, even with a fall
as great as that, caused himself no damage.
Very soon his sister noticed Gregor’s new way
of entertaining himself — he had, after all,
left traces of the adhesive from his feet as he crawled
about — and got it into her head to make it
as easy as possible for him by removing the furniture
that got in his way, especially the chest of drawers
and the desk. Now, this was not something that
she would be able to do by herself; she did not dare
to ask for help from her father; the sixteen year
old maid had carried on bravely since the cook had
left but she certainly would not have helped in this,
she had even asked to be allowed to keep the kitchen
locked at all times and never to have to open the
door unless it was especially important; so his sister
had no choice but to choose some time when Gregor’s
father was not there and fetch his mother to help her.
As she approached the room, Gregor could hear his
mother express her joy, but once at the door she went
silent. First, of course, his sister came in
and looked round to see that everything in the room
was alright; and only then did she let her mother enter.
Gregor had hurriedly pulled the sheet down lower
over the couch and put more folds into it so that
everything really looked as if it had just been thrown
down by chance. Gregor also refrained, this time,
from spying out from under the sheet; he gave up the
chance to see his mother until later and was simply
glad that she had come. “You can come
in, he can’t be seen”, said his sister,
obviously leading her in by the hand. The old
chest of drawers was too heavy for a pair of feeble
women to be heaving about, but Gregor listened as they
pushed it from its place, his sister always taking
on the heaviest part of the work for herself and ignoring
her mother’s warnings that she would strain
herself. This lasted a very long time.
After labouring at it for fifteen minutes or more
his mother said it would be better to leave the chest
where it was, for one thing it was too heavy for them
to get the job finished before Gregor’s father
got home and leaving it in the middle of the room
it would be in his way even more, and for another
thing it wasn’t even sure that taking the furniture
away would really be any help to him. She thought
just the opposite; the sight of the bare walls saddened
her right to her heart; and why wouldn’t Gregor
feel the same way about it, he’d been used to
this furniture in his room for a long time and it would
make him feel abandoned to be in an empty room like
that. Then, quietly, almost whispering as if
wanting Gregor (whose whereabouts she did not know)
to hear not even the tone of her voice, as she was
convinced that he did not understand her words, she
added “and by taking the furniture away, won’t
it seem like we’re showing that we’ve
given up all hope of improvement and we’re abandoning
him to cope for himself? I think it’d be
best to leave the room exactly the way it was before
so that when Gregor comes back to us again he’ll
find everything unchanged and he’ll be able to
forget the time in between all the easier”.
Hearing these words from his mother
made Gregor realise that the lack of any direct human
communication, along with the monotonous life led
by the family during these two months, must have made
him confused — he could think of no other way
of explaining to himself why he had seriously wanted
his room emptied out. Had he really wanted to
transform his room into a cave, a warm room fitted
out with the nice furniture he had inherited?
That would have let him crawl around unimpeded in
any direction, but it would also have let him quickly
forget his past when he had still been human.
He had come very close to forgetting, and it had
only been the voice of his mother, unheard for so
long, that had shaken him out of it. Nothing
should be removed; everything had to stay; he could
not do without the good influence the furniture had
on his condition; and if the furniture made it difficult
for him to crawl about mindlessly that was not a loss
but a great advantage.
His sister, unfortunately, did not
agree; she had become used to the idea, not without
reason, that she was Gregor’s spokesman to his
parents about the things that concerned him.
This meant that his mother’s advice now was
sufficient reason for her to insist on removing not
only the chest of drawers and the desk, as she had
thought at first, but all the furniture apart from
the all-important couch. It was more than childish
perversity, of course, or the unexpected confidence
she had recently acquired, that made her insist; she
had indeed noticed that Gregor needed a lot of room
to crawl about in, whereas the furniture, as far as
anyone could see, was of no use to him at all.
Girls of that age, though, do become enthusiastic
about things and feel they must get their way whenever
they can. Perhaps this was what tempted Grete
to make Gregor’s situation seem even more shocking
than it was so that she could do even more for him.
Grete would probably be the only one who would dare
enter a room dominated by Gregor crawling about the
bare walls by himself.
So she refused to let her mother dissuade
her. Gregor’s mother already looked uneasy
in his room, she soon stopped speaking and helped
Gregor’s sister to get the chest of drawers out
with what strength she had. The chest of drawers
was something that Gregor could do without if he had
to, but the writing desk had to stay. Hardly
had the two women pushed the chest of drawers, groaning,
out of the room than Gregor poked his head out from
under the couch to see what he could do about it.
He meant to be as careful and considerate as he could,
but, unfortunately, it was his mother who came back
first while Grete in the next room had her arms round
the chest, pushing and pulling at it from side to
side by herself without, of course, moving it an inch.
His mother was not used to the sight of Gregor, he
might have made her ill, so Gregor hurried backwards
to the far end of the couch. In his startlement,
though, he was not able to prevent the sheet at its
front from moving a little. It was enough to
attract his mother’s attention. She stood
very still, remained there a moment, and then went
back out to Grete.
Gregor kept trying to assure himself
that nothing unusual was happening, it was just a
few pieces of furniture being moved after all, but
he soon had to admit that the women going to and fro,
their little calls to each other, the scraping of
the furniture on the floor, all these things made
him feel as if he were being assailed from all sides.
With his head and legs pulled in against him and
his body pressed to the floor, he was forced to admit
to himself that he could not stand all of this much
longer. They were emptying his room out; taking
away everything that was dear to him; they had already
taken out the chest containing his fretsaw and other
tools; now they threatened to remove the writing desk
with its place clearly worn into the floor, the desk
where he had done his homework as a business trainee,
at high school, even while he had been at infant school
— he really could not wait any longer to see
whether the two women’s intentions were good.
He had nearly forgotten they were there anyway, as
they were now too tired to say anything while they
worked and he could only hear their feet as they stepped
heavily on the floor.
So, while the women were leant against
the desk in the other room catching their breath,
he sallied out, changed direction four times not knowing
what he should save first before his attention was
suddenly caught by the picture on the wall —
which was already denuded of everything else that
had been on it — of the lady dressed in copious
fur. He hurried up onto the picture and pressed
himself against its glass, it held him firmly and
felt good on his hot belly. This picture at
least, now totally covered by Gregor, would certainly
be taken away by no-one. He turned his head to
face the door into the living room so that he could
watch the women when they came back.
They had not allowed themselves a
long rest and came back quite soon; Grete had put
her arm around her mother and was nearly carrying
her. “What shall we take now, then?”,
said Grete and looked around. Her eyes met those
of Gregor on the wall. Perhaps only because
her mother was there, she remained calm, bent her face
to her so that she would not look round and said, albeit
hurriedly and with a tremor in her voice: “Come
on, let’s go back in the living room for a while?”
Gregor could see what Grete had in mind, she wanted
to take her mother somewhere safe and then chase him
down from the wall. Well, she could certainly
try it! He sat unyielding on his picture.
He would rather jump at Grete’s face.
But Grete’s words had made her
mother quite worried, she stepped to one side, saw
the enormous brown patch against the flowers of the
wallpaper, and before she even realised it was Gregor
that she saw screamed: “Oh God, oh God!”
Arms outstretched, she fell onto the couch as if
she had given up everything and stayed there immobile.
“Gregor!” shouted his sister, glowering
at him and shaking her fist. That was the first
word she had spoken to him directly since his transformation.
She ran into the other room to fetch some kind of
smelling salts to bring her mother out of her faint;
Gregor wanted to help too — he could save his
picture later, although he stuck fast to the glass
and had to pull himself off by force; then he, too,
ran into the next room as if he could advise his sister
like in the old days; but he had to just stand behind
her doing nothing; she was looking into various bottles,
he startled her when she turned round; a bottle fell
to the ground and broke; a splinter cut Gregor’s
face, some kind of caustic medicine splashed all over
him; now, without delaying any longer, Grete took
hold of all the bottles she could and ran with them
in to her mother; she slammed the door shut with her
foot. So now Gregor was shut out from his mother,
who, because of him, might be near to death; he could
not open the door if he did not want to chase his
sister away, and she had to stay with his mother;
there was nothing for him to do but wait; and, oppressed
with anxiety and self-reproach, he began to crawl about,
he crawled over everything, walls, furniture, ceiling,
and finally in his confusion as the whole room began
to spin around him he fell down into the middle of
the dinner table.
He lay there for a while, numb and
immobile, all around him it was quiet, maybe that
was a good sign. Then there was someone at the
door. The maid, of course, had locked herself
in her kitchen so that Grete would have to go and
answer it. His father had arrived home.
“What’s happened?” were his first
words; Grete’s appearance must have made everything
clear to him. She answered him with subdued
voice, and openly pressed her face into his chest:
“Mother’s fainted, but she’s better
now. Gregor got out.” “Just
as I expected”, said his father, “just
as I always said, but you women wouldn’t listen,
would you.” It was clear to Gregor that
Grete had not said enough and that his father took
it to mean that something bad had happened, that he
was responsible for some act of violence. That
meant Gregor would now have to try to calm his father,
as he did not have the time to explain things to him
even if that had been possible. So he fled to
the door of his room and pressed himself against it
so that his father, when he came in from the hall,
could see straight away that Gregor had the best intentions
and would go back into his room without delay, that
it would not be necessary to drive him back but that
they had only to open the door and he would disappear.
His father, though, was not in the
mood to notice subtleties like that; “Ah!”,
he shouted as he came in, sounding as if he were both
angry and glad at the same time. Gregor drew
his head back from the door and lifted it towards
his father. He really had not imagined his father
the way he stood there now; of late, with his new habit
of crawling about, he had neglected to pay attention
to what was going on the rest of the flat the way
he had done before. He really ought to have
expected things to have changed, but still, still,
was that really his father? The same tired man
as used to be laying there entombed in his bed when
Gregor came back from his business trips, who would
receive him sitting in the armchair in his nightgown
when he came back in the evenings; who was hardly even
able to stand up but, as a sign of his pleasure, would
just raise his arms and who, on the couple of times
a year when they went for a walk together on a Sunday
or public holiday wrapped up tightly in his overcoat
between Gregor and his mother, would always labour
his way forward a little more slowly than them, who
were already walking slowly for his sake; who would
place his stick down carefully and, if he wanted to
say something would invariably stop and gather his
companions around him. He was standing up straight
enough now; dressed in a smart blue uniform with gold
buttons, the sort worn by the employees at the banking
institute; above the high, stiff collar of the coat
his strong double-chin emerged; under the bushy eyebrows,
his piercing, dark eyes looked out fresh and alert;
his normally unkempt white hair was combed down painfully
close to his scalp. He took his cap, with its
gold monogram from, probably, some bank, and threw
it in an arc right across the room onto the sofa,
put his hands in his trouser pockets, pushing back
the bottom of his long uniform coat, and, with look
of determination, walked towards Gregor. He
probably did not even know himself what he had in mind,
but nonetheless lifted his feet unusually high.
Gregor was amazed at the enormous size of the soles
of his boots, but wasted no time with that —
he knew full well, right from the first day of his
new life, that his father thought it necessary to
always be extremely strict with him. And so
he ran up to his father, stopped when his father stopped,
scurried forwards again when he moved, even slightly.
In this way they went round the room several times
without anything decisive happening, without even giving
the impression of a chase as everything went so slowly.
Gregor remained all this time on the floor, largely
because he feared his father might see it as especially
provoking if he fled onto the wall or ceiling.
Whatever he did, Gregor had to admit that he certainly
would not be able to keep up this running about for
long, as for each step his father took he had to carry
out countless movements. He became noticeably
short of breath, even in his earlier life his lungs
had not been very reliable. Now, as he lurched
about in his efforts to muster all the strength he
could for running he could hardly keep his eyes open;
his thoughts became too slow for him to think of any
other way of saving himself than running; he almost
forgot that the walls were there for him to use although,
here, they were concealed behind carefully carved
furniture full of notches and protrusions —
then, right beside him, lightly tossed, something flew
down and rolled in front of him. It was an apple;
then another one immediately flew at him; Gregor froze
in shock; there was no longer any point in running
as his father had decided to bombard him. He
had filled his pockets with fruit from the bowl on
the sideboard and now, without even taking the time
for careful aim, threw one apple after another.
These little, red apples rolled about on the floor,
knocking into each other as if they had electric motors.
An apple thrown without much force glanced against
Gregor’s back and slid off without doing any
harm. Another one however, immediately following
it, hit squarely and lodged in his back; Gregor wanted
to drag himself away, as if he could remove the surprising,
the incredible pain by changing his position; but
he felt as if nailed to the spot and spread himself
out, all his senses in confusion. The last thing
he saw was the door of his room being pulled open,
his sister was screaming, his mother ran out in front
of her in her blouse (as his sister had taken off
some of her clothes after she had fainted to make
it easier for her to breathe), she ran to his father,
her skirts unfastened and sliding one after another
to the ground, stumbling over the skirts she pushed
herself to his father, her arms around him, uniting
herself with him totally — now Gregor lost his
ability to see anything — her hands behind his
father’s head begging him to spare Gregor’s
life.