LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Alicia,—There needed
not this last fit of the gout to make me detest Mr.
Johnson, but now the extent of my aversion is not to
be estimated. To have you confined as nurse in
his apartment! My dear Alicia, of what a mistake
were you guilty in marrying a man of his age! just
old enough to be formal, ungovernable, and to have
the gout; too old to be agreeable, too young to die.
I arrived last night about five, had scarcely swallowed
my dinner when Mainwaring made his appearance.
I will not dissemble what real pleasure his sight
afforded me, nor how strongly I felt the contrast
between his person and manners and those of Reginald,
to the infinite disadvantage of the latter. For
an hour or two I was even staggered in my resolution
of marrying him, and though this was too idle and
nonsensical an idea to remain long on my mind, I do
not feel very eager for the conclusion of my marriage,
nor look forward with much impatience to the time
when Reginald, according to our agreement, is to be
in town. I shall probably put off his arrival
under some pretence or other. He must not come
till Mainwaring is gone. I am still doubtful at
times as to marrying; if the old man would die I might
not hesitate, but a state of dependance on the caprice
of Sir Reginald will not suit the freedom of my spirit;
and if I resolve to wait for that event, I shall have
excuse enough at present in having been scarcely ten
months a widow. I have not given Mainwaring any
hint of my intention, or allowed him to consider my
acquaintance with Reginald as more than the commonest
flirtation, and he is tolerably appeased. Adieu,
till we meet; I am enchanted with my lodgings.
Yours ever,
S. Vernon.
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