His bungalow beyond the golf links
was, perhaps, a mile and a quarter from the lane.
We went down to the beach margin and along the pallid
wave-smoothed sands, and we got along by making a swaying,
hopping, tripod dance forward until I began to give
under him, and then, as soon as we could, sitting
down. His ankle was, in fact, broken, and he
could not put it to the ground without exquisite pain.
So that it took us nearly two hours to get to the house,
and it would have taken longer if his butler-valet
had not come out to assist me. They had found
motor-car and chauffeur smashed and still at the bend
of the road near the house, and had been on that side
looking for Melmount, or they would have seen us before.
For most of that time we were sitting
now on turf, now on a chalk boulder, now on a timber
groin, and talking one to the other, with the frankness
proper to the intercourse of men of good intent, without
reservations or aggressions, in the common, open fashion
of contemporary intercourse to-day, but which then,
nevertheless, was the rarest and strangest thing in
the world. He for the most part talked, but at
some shape of a question I told him—as plainly
as I could tell of passions that had for a time become
incomprehensible to me—of my murderous
pursuit of Nettie and her lover, and how the green
vapors overcame me. He watched me with grave eyes
and nodded understandingly, and afterwards he asked
me brief penetrating questions about my education,
my upbringing, my work. There was a deliberation
in his manner, brief full pauses, that had in them
no element of delay.
“Yes,” he said, “yes—of
course. What a fool I have been!” and said
no more until we had made another of our tripod struggles
along the beach. At first I did not see the connection
of my story with that self-accusation.
“Suppose,” he said, panting
on the groin, “there had been such a thing as
a statesman! . . .”
He turned to me. “If one
had decided all this muddle shall end! If one
had taken it, as an artist takes his clay, as a man
who builds takes site and stone, and made-—-”
He flung out his big broad hand at the glories of
sky and sea, and drew a deep breath, “something
to fit that setting.”
He added in explanation, “Then
there wouldn’t have been such stories as yours
at all, you know. . . .”
“Tell me more about it,”
he said, “tell me all about yourself. I
feel all these things have passed away, all these things
are to be changed for ever. . . . You won’t
be what you have been from this time forth. All
the things you have done—don’t matter
now. To us, at any rate, they don’t matter
at all. We have met, who were separated in that
darkness behind us. Tell me.
“Yes,” he said; and I
told my story straight and as frankly as I have told
it to you. “And there, where those little
skerries of weed rock run out to the ebb, beyond the
headland, is Bungalow village. What did you do
with your pistol?”
“I left it lying there—among the
barley.”
He glanced at me from under his light
eyelashes. “If others feel like you and
I,” he said, “there’ll be a lot of
pistols left among the barley to-day. . . .”
So we talked, I and that great, strong
man, with the love of brothers so plain between us
it needed not a word. Our souls went out to one
another in stark good faith; never before had I had
anything but a guarded watchfulness for any fellow-man.
Still I see him, upon that wild desolate beach of
the ebb tide, I see him leaning against the shelly
buttress of a groin, looking down at the poor drowned
sailor whose body we presently found. For we found
a newly drowned man who had just chanced to miss this
great dawn in which we rejoiced. We found him
lying in a pool of water, among brown weeds in the
dark shadow of the timberings. You must not overrate
the horrors of the former days; in those days it was
scarcely more common to see death in England than
it would be to-day. This dead man was a sailor
from the Rother Adler, the great German battleship
that—had we but known it—lay
not four miles away along the coast amidst ploughed-up
mountains of chalk ooze, a torn and battered mass
of machinery, wholly submerged at high water, and
holding in its interstices nine hundred drowned brave
men, all strong and skilful, all once capable of doing
fine things. . . .
I remember that poor boy very vividly.
He had been drowned during the anaesthesia of the
green gas, his fair young face was quiet and calm,
but the skin of his chest had been crinkled by scalding
water and his right arm was bent queerly back.
Even to this needless death and all its tale of cruelty,
beauty and dignity had come. Everything flowed
together to significance as we stood there, I, the
ill-clad, cheaply equipped proletarian, and Melmount
in his great fur-trimmed coat—he was hot
with walking but he had not thought to remove it—leaning
upon the clumsy groins and pitying this poor victim
of the war he had helped to make. “Poor
lad!” he said, “poor lad! A child
we blunderers sent to death! Do look at the quiet
beauty of that face, that body—to be flung
aside like this!”
(I remember that near this dead man’s
hand a stranded star-fish writhed its slowly feeling
limbs, struggling back toward the sea. It left
grooved traces in the sand.)
“There must be no more of this,”
panted Melmount, leaning on my shoulder, “no
more of this. . . .”
But most I recall Melmount as he talked
a little later, sitting upon a great chalk boulder
with the sunlight on his big, perspiration-dewed face.
He made his resolves. “We must end war,”
he said, in that full whisper of his; “it is
stupidity. With so many people able to read and
think—even as it is—there is
no need of anything of the sort. Gods! What
have we rulers been at? . . . Drowsing like people
in a stifling room, too dull and sleepy and too base
toward each other for any one to get up and open the
window. What haven’t we been at?”
A great powerful figure he sits there
still in my memory, perplexed and astonished at himself
and all things. “We must change all this,”
he repeated, and threw out his broad hands in a powerful
gesture against the sea and sky. “We have
done so weakly—Heaven alone knows why!”
I can see him now, queer giant that he looked on that
dawnlit beach of splendor, the sea birds flying about
us and that crumpled death hard by, no bad symbol
in his clumsiness and needless heat of the unawakened
powers of the former time. I remember it as an
integral part of that picture that far away across
the sandy stretches one of those white estate boards
I have described, stuck up a little askew amidst the
yellow-green turf upon the crest of the low cliffs.
He talked with a sort of wonder of
the former things. “Has it ever dawned
upon you to imagine the pettiness—the pettiness!—of
every soul concerned in a declaration of war?”
he asked. He went on, as though speech was necessary
to make it credible, to describe Laycock, who first
gave the horror words at the cabinet council, “an
undersized Oxford prig with a tenoring voice and a
garbage of Greek—the sort of little fool
who is brought up on the admiration of his elder sisters.
. . .
“All the time almost,”
he said, “I was watching him—thinking
what an ass he was to be trusted with men’s
lives. . . . I might have done better to have
thought that of myself. I was doing nothing to
prevent it all! The damned little imbecile was
up to his neck in the drama of the thing, he liked
to trumpet it out, he goggled round at us. ‘Then
it is war!’ he said. Richover shrugged his
shoulders. I made some slight protest and gave
in. . . . Afterward I dreamt of him.
“What a lot we were! All
a little scared at ourselves—all, as it
were, instrumental. . . .
“And it’s fools like that
lead to things like this!” He jerked his head
at that dead man near by us.
“It will be interesting to know
what has happened to the world. . . . This green
vapor—queer stuff. But I know what
has happened to me. It’s Conversion.
I’ve always known. . . . But this is being
a fool. Talk! I’m going to stop it.”
He motioned to rise with his clumsy outstretched hands.
“Stop what?” said I, stepping forward
instinctively to help him.
“War,” he said in his
great whisper, putting his big hand on my shoulder
but making no further attempt to arise, “I’m
going to put an end to war—to any sort
of war! And all these things that must end.
The world is beautiful, life is great and splendid,
we had only to lift up our eyes and see. Think
of the glories through which we have been driving,
like a herd of swine in a garden place. The color
in life—the sounds—the shapes!
We have had our jealousies, our quarrels, our ticklish
rights, our invincible prejudices, our vulgar enterprise
and sluggish timidities, we have chattered and pecked
one another and fouled the world—like daws
in the temple, like unclean birds in the holy place
of God. All my life has been foolishness and
pettiness, gross pleasures and mean discretions—all.
I am a meagre dark thing in this morning’s glow,
a penitence, a shame! And, but for God’s
mercy, I might have died this night—like
that poor lad there—amidst the squalor of
my sins! No more of this! No more of this!—whether
the whole world has changed or no, matters nothing.
We two have seen this dawn!
. . .”
He paused.
“I will arise and go unto my Father,” he began presently, “and will
say unto Him------”
His voice died away in an inaudible whisper.
His hand
tightened painfully on my shoulder and he rose. .
. .