Charles need not have been anxious.
Miss Schlegel had never heard of his mother’s
strange request. She was to hear of it in after
years, when she had built up her life differently,
and it was to fit into position as the headstone of
the corner. Her mind was bent on other questions
now, and by her also it would have been rejected as
the fantasy of an invalid.
She was parting from these Wilcoxes
for the second time. Paul and his mother, ripple
and great wave, had flowed into her life and ebbed
out of it for ever. The ripple had left no traces
behind; the wave had strewn at her feet fragments
torn from the unknown. A curious seeker, she
stood for a while at the verge of the sea that tells
so little, but tells a little, and watched the outgoing
of this last tremendous tide. Her friend had vanished
in agony, but not, she believed, in degradation.
Her withdrawal had hinted at other things besides
disease and pain. Some leave our life with tears,
others with an insane frigidity; Mrs. Wilcox had taken
the middle course, which only rarer natures can pursue.
She had kept proportion. She had told a little
of her grim secret to her friends, but not too much;
she had shut up her heart—almost, but not
entirely. It is thus, if there is any rule, that
we ought to die—neither as victim nor as
fanatic, but as the seafarer who can greet with an
equal eye the deep that he is entering, and the shore
that he must leave.
The last word—whatever
it would be—had certainly not been said
in Hilton churchyard. She had not died there.
A funeral is not death, any more than baptism is birth
or marriage union. All three are the clumsy devices,
coming now too late, now too early, by which Society
would register the quick motions of man. In Margaret’s
eyes Mrs. Wilcox had escaped registration. She
had gone out of life vividly, her own way, and no
dust was so truly dust as the contents of that heavy
coffin, lowered with ceremonial until it rested on
the dust of the earth, no flowers so utterly wasted
as the chrysanthemums that the frost must have withered
before morning. Margaret had once said she “loved
superstition.” It was not true. Few
women had tried more earnestly to pierce the accretions
in which body and soul are enwrapped. The death
of Mrs. Wilcox had helped her in her work. She
saw a little more clearly than hitherto what a human
being is, and to what he may aspire. Truer relationships
gleamed. Perhaps the last word would be hope—hope
even on this side of the grave.
Meanwhile, she could take an interest
in the survivors. In spite of her Christmas duties,
in spite of her brother, the Wilcoxes continued to
play a considerable part in her thoughts. She
had seen so much of them in the final week. They
were not “her sort,” they were often suspicious
and stupid, and deficient where she excelled; but
collision with them stimulated her, and she felt an
interest that verged into liking, even for Charles.
She desired to protect them, and often felt that they
could protect her, excelling where she was deficient.
Once past the rocks of emotion, they knew so well
what to do, whom to send for; their hands were on
all the ropes, they had grit as well as grittiness
and she valued grit enormously. They led a life
that she could not attain to—the outer
life of “telegrams and anger,” which had
detonated when Helen and Paul had touched in June,
and had detonated again the other week. To Margaret
this life was to remain a real force. She could
not despise it, as Helen and Tibby affected to do.
It fostered such virtues as neatness, decision, and
obedience, virtues of the second rank, no doubt, but
they have formed our civilisation. They form
character, too; Margaret could not doubt it; they
keep the soul from becoming sloppy. How dare
Schlegels despise Wilcoxes, when it takes all sorts
to make a world?
“Don’t brood too much,”
she wrote to Helen, “on the superiority of the
unseen to the seen. It’s true, but to brood
on it is medieval. Our business is not to contrast
the two, but to reconcile them.”
Helen replied that she had no intention
of brooding on such a dull subject. What did
her sister take her for? The weather was magnificent.
She and the Mosebachs had gone tobogganing on the
only hill that Pomerania boasted. It was fun,
but over-crowded, for the rest of Pomerania had gone
there too. Helen loved the country, and her letter
glowed with physical exercise and poetry. She
spoke of the scenery, quiet, yet august; of the snow-clad
fields, with their scampering herds of deer; of the
river and its quaint entrance into the Baltic Sea;
of the Oderberge, only three hundred feet high, from
which one slid all too quickly back into the Pomeranian
plains, and yet these Oderberge were real mountains,
with pine-forests, streams, and views complete.
“It isn’t size that counts so much as
the way things are arranged.” In another
paragraph she referred to Mrs. Wilcox sympathetically,
but the news had not bitten into her. She had
not realised the accessories of death, which are in
a sense more memorable than death itself. The
atmosphere of precautions and recriminations, and
in the midst a human body growing more vivid because
it was in pain; the end of that body in Hilton churchyard;
the survival of something that suggested hope, vivid
in its turn against life’s workaday cheerfulness;—
all these were lost to Helen, who only felt that a
pleasant lady could now be pleasant no longer.
She returned to Wickham Place full of her own affairs—she
had had another proposal—and Margaret,
after a moment’s hesitation, was content that
this should be so.
The proposal had not been a serious
matter. It was the work of Fraulein Mosebach,
who had conceived the large and patriotic notion of
winning back her cousins to the Fatherland by matrimony.
England had played Paul Wilcox, and lost; Germany
played Herr Forstmeister some one—Helen
could not remember his name. Herr Forstmeister
lived in a wood, and, standing on the summit of the
Oderberge, he had pointed out his house to Helen,
or rather, had pointed out the wedge of pines in which
it lay. She had exclaimed, “Oh, how lovely!
That’s the place for me!” and in the evening
Frieda appeared in her bedroom. “I have
a message, dear Helen,” etc., and so she
had, but had been very nice when Helen laughed; quite
understood—a forest too solitary and damp—
quite agreed, but Herr Forstmeister believed he had
assurance to the contrary. Germany had lost,
but with good-humour; holding the manhood of the world,
she felt bound to win. “And there will even
be some one for Tibby,” concluded Helen.
“There now, Tibby, think of that; Frieda is
saving up a little girl for you, in pig-tails and
white worsted stockings but the feet of the stockings
are pink as if the little girl had trodden in strawberries.
I’ve talked too much. My head aches.
Now you talk.”
Tibby consented to talk. He too
was full of his own affairs, for he had just been
up to try for a scholarship at Oxford. The men
were down, and the candidates had been housed in various
colleges, and had dined in hall. Tibby was sensitive
to beauty, the experience was new, and he gave a description
of his visit that was almost glowing. The august
and mellow University, soaked with the richness of
the western counties that it has served for a thousand
years, appealed at once to the boy’s taste;
it was the kind of thing he could understand, and he
understood it all the better because it was empty.
Oxford is—Oxford; not a mere receptacle
for youth, like Cambridge. Perhaps it wants its
inmates to love it rather than to love one another;
such at all events was to be its effect on Tibby.
His sisters sent him there that he might make friends,
for they knew that his education had been cranky,
and had severed him from other boys and men. He
made no friends. His Oxford remained Oxford empty,
and he took into life with him, not the memory of
a radiance, but the memory of a colour scheme.
It pleased Margaret to hear her brother
and sister talking. They did not get on overwell
as a rule. For a few moments she listened to
them, feeling elderly and benign.
Then something occurred to her, and
she interrupted.
“Helen, I told you about poor
Mrs. Wilcox; that sad business?”
“Yes.”
“I have had a correspondence
with her son. He was winding up the estate, and
wrote to ask me whether his mother had wanted me to
have anything. I thought it good of him, considering
I knew her so little. I said that she had once
spoken of giving me a Christmas present, but we both
forgot about it afterwards.”
“I hope Charles took the hint.”
“Yes—that is to say,
her husband wrote later on, and thanked me for being
a little kind to her, and actually gave me her silver
vinaigrette. Don’t you think that is extraordinarily
generous? It has made me like him very much.
He hopes that this will not be the end of our acquaintance,
but that you and I will go and stop with Evie some
time in the future. I like Mr. Wilcox. He
is taking up his work—rubber—it
is a big business. I gather he is launching out
rather. Charles is in it, too. Charles is
married— a pretty little creature, but
she doesn’t seem wise. They took on the
flat, but now they have gone off to a house of their
own.”
Helen, after a decent pause, continued
her account of Stettin. How quickly a situation
changes! In June she had been in a crisis; even
in November she could blush and be unnatural; now it
was January and the whole affair lay forgotten.
Looking back on the past six months, Margaret realised
the chaotic nature of our daily life, and its difference
from the orderly sequence that has been fabricated
by historians. Actual life is full of false clues
and sign-posts that lead nowhere. With infinite
effort we nerve ourselves for a crisis that never
comes. The most successful career must show a
waste of strength that might have removed mountains,
and the most unsuccessful is not that of the man who
is taken unprepared, but of him who has prepared and
is never taken. On a tragedy of that kind our
national morality is duly silent. It assumes
that preparation against danger is in itself a good,
and that men, like nations, are the better for staggering
through life fully armed. The tragedy of preparedness
has scarcely been handled, save by the Greeks.
Life is indeed dangerous, but not in the way morality
would have us believe. It is indeed unmanageable,
but the essence of it is not a battle. It is
unmanageable because it is a romance, and its essence
is romantic beauty. Margaret hoped that for the
future she would be less cautious, not more cautious,
than she had been in the past.