I—STATEMENT OF JOEL HETMAN, JR.
I am the most unfortunate of men.
Rich, respected, fairly well educated and of sound
health—with many other advantages usually
valued by those having them and coveted by those who
have them not—I sometimes think that I
should be less unhappy if they had been denied me,
for then the contrast between my outer and my inner
life would not be continually demanding a painful
attention. In the stress of privation and the
need of effort I might sometimes forget the somber
secret ever baffling the conjecture that it compels.
I am the only child of Joel and Julia
Hetman. The one was a well-to-do country gentleman,
the other a beautiful and accomplished woman to whom
he was passionately attached with what I now know to
have been a jealous and exacting devotion. The
family home was a few miles from Nashville, Tennessee,
a large, irregularly built dwelling of no particular
order of architecture, a little way off the road, in
a park of trees and shrubbery.
At the time of which I write I was
nineteen years old, a student at Yale. One day
I received a telegram from my father of such urgency
that in compliance with its unexplained demand I left
at once for home. At the railway station in
Nashville a distant relative awaited me to apprise
me of the reason for my recall: my mother had
been barbarously murdered—why and by whom
none could conjecture, but the circumstances were
these: My father had gone to Nashville, intending
to return the next afternoon. Something prevented
his accomplishing the business in hand, so he returned
on the same night, arriving just before the dawn.
In his testimony before the coroner he explained
that having no latchkey and not caring to disturb the
sleeping servants, he had, with no clearly defined
intention, gone round to the rear of the house.
As he turned an angle of the building, he heard a
sound as of a door gently closed, and saw in the darkness,
indistinctly, the figure of a man, which instantly
disappeared among the trees of the lawn. A hasty
pursuit and brief search of the grounds in the belief
that the trespasser was some one secretly visiting
a servant proving fruitless, he entered at the unlocked
door and mounted the stairs to my mother’s chamber.
Its door was open, and stepping into black darkness
he fell headlong over some heavy object on the floor.
I may spare myself the details; it was my poor mother,
dead of strangulation by human hands!
Nothing had been taken from the house,
the servants had heard no sound, and excepting those
terrible finger-marks upon the dead woman’s
throat—dear God! that I might forget them!—no
trace of the assassin was ever found.
I gave up my studies and remained
with my father, who, naturally, was greatly changed.
Always of a sedate, taciturn disposition, he now
fell into so deep a dejection that nothing could hold
his attention, yet anything—a footfall,
the sudden closing of a door—aroused in
him a fitful interest; one might have called it an
apprehension. At any small surprise of the senses
he would start visibly and sometimes turn pale, then
relapse into a melancholy apathy deeper than before.
I suppose he was what is called a “nervous wreck.”
As to me, I was younger then than now—there
is much in that. Youth is Gilead, in which is
balm for every wound. Ah, that I might again
dwell in that enchanted land! Unacquainted with
grief, I knew not how to appraise my bereavement;
I could not rightly estimate the strength of the stroke.
One night, a few months after the
dreadful event, my father and I walked home from the
city. The full moon was about three hours above
the eastern horizon; the entire countryside had the
solemn stillness of a summer night; our footfalls
and the ceaseless song of the katydids were the only
sound aloof. Black shadows of bordering trees
lay athwart the road, which, in the short reaches between,
gleamed a ghostly white. As we approached the
gate to our dwelling, whose front was in shadow, and
in which no light shone, my father suddenly stopped
and clutched my arm, saying, hardly above his breath:
“God! God! what is that?”
“I hear nothing,” I replied.
“But see—see!” he said, pointing
along the road, directly ahead.
I said: “Nothing is there.
Come, father, let us go in—you are ill.”
He had released my arm and was standing
rigid and motionless in the center of the illuminated
roadway, staring like one bereft of sense. His
face in the moonlight showed a pallor and fixity inexpressibly
distressing. I pulled gently at his sleeve, but
he had forgotten my existence. Presently he
began to retire backward, step by step, never for
an instant removing his eyes from what he saw, or thought
he saw. I turned half round to follow, but stood
irresolute. I do not recall any feeling of fear,
unless a sudden chill was its physical manifestation.
It seemed as if an icy wind had touched my face and
enfolded my body from head to foot; I could feel the
stir of it in my hair.
At that moment my attention was drawn
to a light that suddenly streamed from an upper window
of the house: one of the servants, awakened
by what mysterious premonition of evil who can say,
and in obedience to an impulse that she was never
able to name, had lit a lamp. When I turned
to look for my father he was gone, and in all the
years that have passed no whisper of his fate has come
across the borderland of conjecture from the realm
of the unknown.