THE EPISODE OF THE GAME OF POKER
“Seymour,” my brother-in-law
said, with a deep-drawn sigh, as we left Lake George
next day by the Rennselaer and Saratoga Railroad,
“no more Peter Porter for me, if you please!
I’m sick of disguises. Now that we know
Colonel Clay is here in America, they serve no good
purpose; so I may as well receive the social consideration
and proper respect to which my rank and position naturally
entitle me.”
“And which they secure for the
most part (except from hotel clerks), even in this
republican land,” I answered briskly.
For in my humble opinion, for sound
copper-bottomed snobbery, registered A1 at Lloyd’s,
give me the free-born American citizen.
We travelled through the States, accordingly,
for the next four months, from Maine to California,
and from Oregon to Florida, under our own true names,
“Confirming the churches,” as Charles
facetiously put it—or in other words, looking
into the management and control of railways, syndicates,
mines, and cattle-ranches. We inquired about
everything. And the result of our investigations
appeared to be, as Charles further remarked, that the
Sabeans who so troubled the sons of Job seemed to
have migrated in a body to Kansas and Nebraska, and
that several thousand head of cattle seemed mysteriously
to vanish, a la Colonel Clay, into the pure air of
the prairies just before each branding.
However, we were fortunate in avoiding
the incursions of the Colonel himself, who must have
migrated meanwhile on some enchanted carpet to other
happy hunting-grounds.
It was chill October before we found
ourselves safe back in New York, en route for England.
So long a term of freedom from the Colonel’s
depredations (as Charles fondly imagined—but
I will not anticipate) had done my brother-in-law’s
health and spirits a world of good; he was so lively
and cheerful that he began to fancy his tormentor
must have succumbed to yellow fever, then raging in
New Orleans, or eaten himself ill, as we nearly did
ourselves, on a generous mixture of clam-chowder,
terrapin, soft-shelled crabs, Jersey peaches, canvas-backed
ducks, Catawba wine, winter cherries, brandy cocktails,
strawberry-shortcake, ice-creams, corn-dodger, and
a judicious brew commonly known as a Colorado corpse-reviver.
However that may be, Charles returned to New York in
excellent trim; and, dreading in that great city the
wiles of his antagonist, he cheerfully accepted the
invitation of his brother millionaire, Senator Wrengold
of Nevada, to spend a few days before sailing in the
Senator’s magnificent and newly-finished palace
at the upper end of Fifth Avenue.
“There, at least, I shall be
safe, Sey,” he said to me plaintively, with
a weary smile. “Wrengold, at any rate, won’t
try to take me in—except, of course, in
the regular way of business.”
Boss-Nugget Hall (as it is popularly
christened) is perhaps the handsomest brown stone
mansion in the Richardsonian style on all Fifth Avenue.
We spent a delightful week there. The lines had
fallen to us in pleasant places. On the night
we arrived Wrengold gave a small bachelor party in
our honour. He knew Sir Charles was travelling
without Lady Vandrift, and rightly judged he would
prefer on his first night an informal party, with
cards and cigars, instead of being bothered with the
charming, but still somewhat hampering addition of
female society.
The guests that evening were no more
than seven, all told, ourselves included—making
up, Wrengold said, that perfect number, an octave.
He was a nouveau riche himself—the newest
of the new—commonly known in exclusive
old-fashioned New York society as the Gilded Squatter;
for he “struck his reef” no more than ten
years ago; and he was therefore doubly anxious, after
the American style, to be “just dizzy with culture.”
In his capacity of Maecenas, he had invited amongst
others the latest of English literary arrivals in
New York—Mr. Algernon Coleyard, the famous
poet, and leader of the Briar-rose school of West-country
fiction.
“You know him in London, of
course?” he observed to Charles, with a smile,
as we waited dinner for our guests.
“No,” Charles answered
stolidly. “I have not had that honour.
We move, you see, in different circles.”
I observed by a curious shade which
passed over Senator Wrengold’s face that he
quite misapprehended my brother-in-law’s meaning.
Charles wished to convey, of course, that Mr. Coleyard
belonged to a mere literary and Bohemian set in London,
while he himself moved on a more exalted plane of
peers and politicians. But the Senator, better
accustomed to the new-rich point of view, understood
Charles to mean that he had not the entree
of that distinguished coterie in which Mr. Coleyard
posed as a shining luminary. Which naturally
made him rate even higher than before his literary
acquisition.
At two minutes past the hour the poet
entered. Even if we had not been already familiar
with his portrait at all ages in The Strand Magazine,
we should have recognised him at once for a genuine
bard by his impassioned eyes, his delicate mouth,
the artistic twirl of one gray lock upon his expansive
brow, the grizzled moustache that gave point and force
to the genial smile, and the two white rows of perfect
teeth behind it. Most of our fellow-guests had
met Coleyard before at a reception given by the Lotus
Club that afternoon, for the bard had reached New
York but the previous evening; so Charles and I were
the only visitors who remained to be introduced to
him. The lion of the hour was attired in ordinary
evening dress, with no foppery of any kind, but he
wore in his buttonhole a dainty blue flower whose
name I do not know; and as he bowed distantly to Charles,
whom he surveyed through his eyeglass, the gleam of
a big diamond in the middle of his shirt-front betrayed
the fact that the Briar-rose school, as it was called
(from his famous epic), had at least succeeded in
making money out of poetry. He explained to us
a little later, in fact, that he was over in New York
to look after his royalties. “The beggars,”
he said, “only gave me eight hundred pounds
on my last volume. I couldn’t stand that,
you know; for a modern bard, moving with the age,
can only sing when duly wound up; so I’ve run
across to investigate. Put a penny in the slot,
don’t you see, and the poet will pipe for you.”
“Exactly like myself,”
Charles said, finding a point in common. “I’m
interested in mines; and I, too, have come over to
look after my royalties.”
The poet placed his eyeglass in his
eye once more, and surveyed Charles deliberately from
head to foot. “Oh,” he murmured slowly.
He said not a word more; but somehow, everybody felt
that Charles was demolished. I saw that Wrengold,
when we went in to dinner, hastily altered the cards
that marked their places. He had evidently put
Charles at first to sit next the poet; he varied that
arrangement now, setting Algernon Coleyard between
a railway king and a magazine editor. I have
seldom seen my respected brother-in-law so completely
silenced.
The poet’s conduct during dinner
was most peculiar. He kept quoting poetry at
inopportune moments.
“Roast lamb or boiled turkey, sir?” said
the footman.
“Mary had a little lamb,” said the poet.
“I shall imitate Mary.”
Charles and the Senator thought the remark undignified.
After dinner, however, under the mellowing
influence of some excellent Roederer, Charles began
to expand again, and grew lively and anecdotal.
The poet had made us all laugh not a little with various
capital stories of London literary society—at
least two of them, I think, new ones; and Charles
was moved by generous emulation to contribute his
own share to the amusement of the company. He
was in excellent cue. He is not often brilliant;
but when he chooses, he has a certain dry vein of
caustic humour which is decidedly funny, though not
perhaps strictly without being vulgar. On this
particular night, then, warmed with the admirable
Wrengold champagne—the best made in America—he
launched out into a full and embroidered description
of the various ways in which Colonel Clay had deceived
him. I will not say that he narrated them in full
with the same frankness and accuracy that I have shown
in these pages; he suppressed not a few of the most
amusing details—on no other ground, apparently,
than because they happened to tell against himself;
and he enlarged a good deal on the surprising cleverness
with which several times he had nearly secured his
man; but still, making all allowances for native vanity
in concealment and addition, he was distinctly funny—he
represented the matter for once in its ludicrous rather
than in its disastrous aspect. He observed also,
looking around the table, that after all he had lost
less by Colonel Clay in four years of persecution
than he often lost by one injudicious move in a single
day on the London Stock Exchange; while he seemed
to imply to the solid men of New York, that he would
cheerfully sacrifice such a fleabite as that, in return
for the amusement and excitement of the chase which
the Colonel had afforded him.
The poet was pleased. “You
are a man of spirit, Sir Charles,” he said.
“I love to see this fine old English admiration
of pluck and adventure! The fellow must really
have some good in him, after all. I should like
to take notes of a few of those stories; they would
supply nice material for basing a romance upon.”
“I hardly know whether I’m
exactly the man to make the hero of a novel,”
Charles murmured, with complacence. And he certainly
didn’t look it.
“I was thinking rather
of Colonel Clay as the hero,” the poet responded
coldly.
“Ah, that’s the way with
you men of letters,” Charles answered, growing
warm. “You always have a sneaking sympathy
with the rascals.”
“That may be better,”
Coleyard retorted, in an icy voice, “than sympathy
with the worst forms of Stock Exchange speculation.”
The company smiled uneasily.
The railway king wriggled. Wrengold tried to
change the subject hastily. But Charles would
not be put down.
“You must hear the end, though,”
he said. “That’s not quite the worst.
The meanest thing about the man is that he’s
also a hypocrite. He wrote me such a letter
at the end of his last trick—here, positively
here, in America.” And he proceeded to give
his own version of the Quackenboss incident, enlivened
with sundry imaginative bursts of pure Vandrift fancy.
When Charles spoke of Mrs. Quackenboss
the poet smiled. “The worst of married
women,” he said, “is—that you
can’t marry them; the worst of unmarried women
is—that they want to marry you.”
But when it came to the letter, the poet’s eye
was upon my brother-in-law. Charles, I must fain
admit, garbled the document sadly. Still, even
so, some gleam of good feeling remained in its sentences.
But Charles ended all by saying, “So, to crown
his misdemeanours, the rascal shows himself a whining
cur and a disgusting Pharisee.”
“Don’t you think,”
the poet interposed, in his cultivated drawl, “he
may have really meant it? Why should not some
grain of compunction have stirred his soul still?—some
remnant of conscience made him shrink from betraying
a man who confided in him? I have an idea, myself,
that even the worst of rogues have always some good
in them. I notice they often succeed to the end
in retaining the affection and fidelity of women.”
“Oh, I said so!” Charles
sneered. “I told you you literary men have
always an underhand regard for a scoundrel.”
“Perhaps so,” the poet
answered. “For we are all of us human.
Let him that is without sin among us cast the first
stone.” And then he relapsed into moody
silence.
We rose from table. Cigars went
round. We adjourned to the smoking-room.
It was a Moorish marvel, with Oriental hangings.
There, Senator Wrengold and Charles exchanged reminiscences
of bonanzas and ranches and other exciting post-prandial
topics; while the magazine editor cut in now and again
with a pertinent inquiry or a quaint and sarcastic
parallel instance. It was clear he had an eye
to future copy. Only Algernon Coleyard sat brooding
and silent, with his chin on one hand, and his brow
intent, musing and gazing at the embers in the fireplace.
The hand, by the way, was remarkable for a curious,
antique-looking ring, apparently of Egyptian or Etruscan
workmanship, with a projecting gem of several large
facets. Once only, in the midst of a game of
whist, he broke out with a single comment.
“Hawkins was made an earl,”
said Charles, speaking of some London acquaintance.
“What for?” asked the Senator.
“Successful adulteration,” said the poet
tartly.
“Honours are easy,” the magazine editor
put in.
“And two by tricks to Sir Charles,” the
poet added.
Towards the close of the evening,
however—the poet still remaining moody,
not to say positively grumpy—Senator Wrengold
proposed a friendly game of Swedish poker. It
was the latest fashionable variant in Western society
on the old gambling round, and few of us knew it,
save the omniscient poet and the magazine editor.
It turned out afterwards that Wrengold proposed that
particular game because he had heard Coleyard observe
at the Lotus Club the same afternoon that it was a
favourite amusement of his. Now, however, for
a while he objected to playing. He was a poor
man, he said, and the rest were all rich; why should
he throw away the value of a dozen golden sonnets
just to add one more pinnacle to the gilded roofs of
a millionaire’s palace? Besides, he was
half-way through with an ode he was inditing to Republican
simplicity. The pristine austerity of a democratic
senatorial cottage had naturally inspired him with
memories of Dentatus, the Fabii, Camillus. But
Wrengold, dimly aware he was being made fun of somehow,
insisted that the poet must take a hand with the financiers.
“You can pass, you know,” he said, “as
often as you like; and you can stake low, or go it
blind, according as you’re inclined to.
It’s a democratic game; every man decides for
himself how high he will play, except the banker; and
you needn’t take bank unless you want it.”
“Oh, if you insist upon it,”
Coleyard drawled out, with languid reluctance, “I’ll
play, of course. I won’t spoil your evening.
But remember, I’m a poet; I have strange inspirations.”
The cards were “squeezers”—that
is to say, had the suit and the number of pips in
each printed small in the corner, as well as over
the face, for ease of reference. We played low
at first. The poet seldom staked; and when he
did—a few pounds—he lost, with
singular persistence. He wanted to play for doubloons
or sequins, and could with difficulty be induced to
condescend to dollars. Charles looked across
at him at last; the stakes by that time were fast rising
higher, and we played for ready money. Notes lay
thick on the green cloth. “Well,”
he murmured provokingly, “how about your inspiration?
Has Apollo deserted you?”
It was an unwonted flight of classical
allusion for Charles, and I confess it astonished
me. (I discovered afterwards he had cribbed it from
a review in that evening’s Critic.) But the poet
smiled.
“No,” he answered calmly,
“I am waiting for one now. When it comes,
you may be sure you shall have the benefit of it.”
Next round, Charles dealing and banking,
the poet staked on his card, unseen as usual.
He staked like a gentleman. To our immense astonishment
he pulled out a roll of notes, and remarked, in a quiet
tone, “I have an inspiration now. Half-hearted
will do. I go five thousand.” That
was dollars, of course; but it amounted to a thousand
pounds in English money—high play for an
author.
Charles smiled and turned his card.
The poet turned his—and won a thousand.
“Good shot!” Charles murmured,
pretending not to mind, though he detests losing.
“Inspiration!” the poet
mused, and looked once more abstracted.
Charles dealt again. The poet
watched the deal with boiled-fishy eyes. His
thoughts were far away. His lips moved audibly.
“Myrtle, and kirtle, and hurtle,” he muttered.
“They’ll do for three. Then there’s
turtle, meaning dove; and that finishes the possible.
Laurel and coral make a very bad rhyme. Try myrtle;
don’t you think so?”
“Do you stake?” Charles
asked, severely, interrupting his reverie.
The poet started. “No,
pass,” he replied, looking down at his card,
and subsided into muttering. We caught a tremor
of his lips again, and heard something like this:
“Not less but more republican than thou, Half-hearted
watcher by the Western sea, After long years I come
to visit thee, And test thy fealty to that maiden vow,
That bound thee in thy budding prime For Freedom’s
bride—”
“Stake?” Charles interrupted, inquiringly,
again.
“Yes, five thousand,”
the poet answered dreamily, pushing forward his pile
of notes, and never ceasing from his murmur: “For
Freedom’s bride to all succeeding time.
Succeeding; succeeding; weak word, succeeding.
Couldn’t go five dollars on it.”
Charles turned his card once more.
The poet had won again. Charles passed over his
notes. The poet raked them in with a far-away
air, as one who looks at infinity, and asked if he
could borrow a pencil and paper. He had a few
priceless lines to set down which might otherwise
escape him.
“This is play,” Charles
said pointedly. “Will you kindly attend
to one thing or the other?”
The poet glanced at him with a compassionate
smile. “I told you I had inspirations,”
he said. “They always come together.
I can’t win your money as fast as I would like,
unless at the same time I am making verses. Whenever
I hit upon a good epithet, I back my luck, don’t
you see? I won a thousand on half-hearted
and a thousand on budding; if I were to back
succeeding, I should lose, to a certainty.
You understand my system?”
“I call it pure rubbish,”
Charles answered. “However, continue.
Systems were made for fools—and to suit
wise men. Sooner or later you must lose
at such a stupid fancy.”
The poet continued. “For
Freedom’s bride to all ensuing time.”
“Stake!” Charles cried sharply. We
each of us staked.
“Ensuing,” the
poet murmured. “To all ensuing time.
First-rate epithet that. I go ten thousand, Sir
Charles, on ensuing.”
We all turned up. Some of us
lost, some won; but the poet had secured his two thousand
sterling.
“I haven’t that amount
about me,” Charles said, in that austerely nettled
voice which he always assumes when he loses at cards;
“but—I’ll settle it with you
to-morrow.”
“Another round?” the host asked, beaming.
“No, thank you,” Charles
answered; “Mr. Coleyard’s inspirations
come too pat for my taste. His luck beats mine.
I retire from the game, Senator.”
Just at that moment a servant entered,
bearing a salver, with a small note in an envelope.
“For Mr. Coleyard,” he observed; “and
the messenger said, urgent.”
Coleyard tore it open hurriedly.
I could see he was agitated. His face grew white
at once.
“I—I beg your pardon,”
he said. “I—I must go back instantly.
My wife is dangerously ill—quite a sudden
attack. Forgive me, Senator. Sir Charles,
you shall have your revenge to-morrow.”
It was clear that his voice faltered.
We felt at least he was a man of feeling. He
was obviously frightened. His coolness forsook
him. He shook hands as in a dream, and rushed
downstairs for his dust-coat. Almost as he closed
the front door, a new guest entered, just missing
him in the vestibule.
“Halloa, you men,” he
said, “we’ve been taken in, do you know?
It’s all over the Lotus. The man we made
an honorary member of the club to-day is not
Algernon Coleyard. He’s a blatant impostor.
There’s a telegram come in on the tape to-night
saying Algernon Coleyard is dangerously ill at his
home in England.”
Charles gasped a violent gasp.
“Colonel Clay!” he shouted, aloud.
“And once more he’s done me. There’s
not a moment to lose. After him, gentlemen! after
him!”
Never before in our lives had we had
such a close shave of catching and fixing the redoubtable
swindler. We burst down the stairs in a body,
and rushed out into Fifth Avenue. The pretended
poet had only a hundred yards’ start of us,
and he saw he was discovered. But he was an excellent
runner. So was I, weight for age; and I dashed
wildly after him. He turned round a corner; it
proved to lead nowhere, and lost him time. He
darted back again, madly. Delighted with the
idea that I was capturing so famous a criminal, I redoubled
my efforts—and came up with him, panting.
He was wearing a light dust-coat. I seized it
in my hands. “I’ve got you at last!”
I cried; “Colonel Clay, I’ve got you!”
He turned and looked at me. “Ha,
old Ten Per Cent!” he called out, struggling.
“It’s you, then, is it? Never, never
to you, sir!” And as he spoke, he somehow
flung his arms straight out behind him, and let the
dust-coat slip off, which it easily did, the sleeves
being new and smoothly silk-lined. The suddenness
of the movement threw me completely off my guard,
and off my legs as well. I was clinging to the
coat and holding him. As the support gave way
I rolled over backward, in the mud of the street,
and hurt my back seriously. As for Colonel Clay,
with a nervous laugh, he bolted off at full speed
in his evening coat, and vanished round a corner.
It was some seconds before I had sufficiently
recovered my breath to pick myself up again, and examine
my bruises. By this time Charles and the other
pursuers had come up, and I explained my condition
to them. Instead of commending me for my zeal
in his cause—which had cost me a barked
arm and a good evening suit—my brother-in-law
remarked, with an unfeeling sneer, that when I had
so nearly caught my man I might as well have held
him.
“I have his coat, at least,”
I said. “That may afford us a clue.”
And I limped back with it in my hands, feeling horribly
bruised and a good deal shaken.
When we came to examine the coat,
however, it bore no maker’s name; the strap
at the back, where the tailor proclaims with pride
his handicraft, had been carefully ripped off, and
its place was taken by a tag of plain black tape without
inscription of any sort. We searched the breast-pocket.
A handkerchief, similarly nameless, but of finest
cambric. The side-pockets—ha, what
was this? I drew a piece of paper out in triumph.
It was a note—a real find—the
one which the servant had handed to our friend just
before at the Senator’s.
We read it through breathlessly:—
“DARLING PAUL,—I
told you it was too dangerous. You should
have listened to me. You ought never to
have imitated any real person. I happened to
glance at the hotel tape just now, to see the quotations
for Cloetedorps to-day, and what do you think I read
as part of the latest telegram from England?
’Mr. Algernon Coleyard, the famous poet, is
lying on his death-bed at his home in Devonshire.’
By this time all New York knows. Don’t
stop one minute. Say I’m dangerously ill,
and come away at once. Don’t return to the
hotel. I am removing our things. Meet me
at Mary’s. Your devoted, MARGOT.”
“This is very important,”
Charles said. “This does give us
a clue. We know two things now: his real
name is Paul—whatever else it may be, and
Madame Picardet’s is Margot.”
I searched the pocket again, and pulled
out a ring. Evidently he had thrust these two
things there when he saw me pursuing him, and had
forgotten or neglected them in the heat of the melee.
I looked at it close. It was
the very ring I had noticed on his finger while he
was playing Swedish poker. It had a large compound
gem in the centre, set with many facets, and rising
like a pyramid to a point in the middle. There
were eight faces in all, some of them composed of
emerald, amethyst, or turquoise. But one
face—the one that turned at a direct angle
towards the wearer’s eye—was not
a gem at all, but an extremely tiny convex mirror.
In a moment I spotted the trick. He held this
hand carelessly on the table while my brother-in-law
dealt; and when he saw that the suit and number of
his own card mirrored in it by means of the squeezers
were better than Charles’s, he had “an
inspiration,” and backed his luck—or
rather his knowledge—with perfect confidence.
I did not doubt, either, that his odd-looking eyeglass
was a powerful magnifier which helped him in the trick.
Still, we tried another deal, by way of experiment—I
wearing the ring; and even with the naked eye I was
able to distinguish in every case the suit and pips
of the card that was dealt me.
“Why, that was almost dishonest,”
the Senator said, drawing back. He wished to
show us that even far-Western speculators drew a line
somewhere.
“Yes,” the magazine editor
echoed. “To back your skill is legal; to
back your luck is foolish; to back your knowledge is—”
“Immoral,” I suggested.
“Very good business,” said the magazine
editor.
“It’s a simple trick,”
Charles interposed. “I should have spotted
it if it had been done by any other fellow. But
his patter about inspiration put me clean off the
track. That’s the rascal’s dodge.
He plays the regular conjurer’s game of distracting
your attention from the real point at issue—so
well that you never find out what he’s really
about till he’s sold you irretrievably.”
We set the New York police upon the
trail of the Colonel; but of course he had vanished
at once, as usual, into the thin smoke of Manhattan.
Not a sign could we find of him. “Mary’s,”
we found an insufficient address.
We waited on in New York for a whole
fortnight. Nothing came of it. We never
found “Mary’s.” The only token
of Colonel Clay’s presence vouchsafed us in
the city was one of his customary insulting notes.
It was conceived as follows:—
“O ETERNAL GULLIBLE!—Since
I saw you on Lake George, I have run back to London,
and promptly come out again. I had business to
transact there, indeed, which I have now completed;
the excessive attentions of the English police sent
me once more, like great Orion, “sloping slowly
to the west.” I returned to America in order
to see whether or not you were still impenitent.
On the day of my arrival I happened to meet Senator
Wrengold, and accepted his kind invitation solely
that I might see how far my last communication had
had a proper effect upon you. As I found you quite
obdurate, and as you furthermore persisted in misunderstanding
my motives, I determined to read you one more small
lesson. It nearly failed; and I confess the accident
has affected my nerves a little. I am now about
to retire from business altogether, and settle down
for life at my place in Surrey. I mean to try
just one more small coup; and, when that is finished,
Colonel Clay will hang up his sword, like Cincinnatus,
and take to farming. You need no longer fear me.
I have realised enough to secure me for life a modest
competence; and as I am not possessed like yourself
with an immoderate greed of gain, I recognise that
good citizenship demands of me now an early retirement
in favour of some younger and more deserving rascal.
I shall always look back with pleasure upon our agreeable
adventures together; and as you hold my dust-coat,
together with a ring and letter to which I attach
importance, I consider we are quits, and I shall withdraw
with dignity. Your sincere well-wisher, CUTHBERT
CLAY, Poet.”
“Just like him!” Charles
said, “to hold this one last coup over my head
in terrorem. Though even when he has played it,
why should I trust his word? A scamp like that
may say it, of course, on purpose to disarm me.”
For my own part, I quite agreed with
“Margot.” When the Colonel was reduced
to dressing the part of a known personage I felt he
had reached almost his last card, and would be well
advised to retire into Surrey.
But the magazine editor summed up
all in a word. “Don’t believe that
nonsense about fortunes being made by industry and
ability,” he said. “In life, as at
cards, two things go to produce success—the
first is chance; the second is cheating.”