CAST down, but not DESTROYED.
“TRIPPED again!”
“Who?”
“Brantley.”
“Poor fellow! He has a hard time of it.
Is he all the way down?”
“I presume so. When he
begins to fall, he usually gets to the bottom of the
ladder.”
It was true; Brantley had tripped
again; and was down. He had been climbing bravely
for three or four years, and was well up the ladder
of prosperity, when in his eagerness to make two rundles
of the ladder at a step instead of one, he missed
his footing and fell to the bottom. My first
knowledge of the fact came through the conversation
just recorded. From all I could hear, Brantley’s
failure was a serious one. I knew him to be honorable
and conscientious, and to have a great deal of sensitive
pride.
A few days afterwards, while passing
the pleasant home where Brantley had been residing,
I saw a bill up, giving notice that the house was
for sale. A few days later I met him on the street.
He did not see me. His eyes were on the pavement;
he looked pale and careworn; he walked slowly, and
was in deep thought.
“He is of tougher material than
most men, if the heart is not all taken out of him,”
I said in speaking of him to a mutual friend.
“And he is of tougher
material,” was answered, “that is, of finer
material. Brantley is not one of your common men.”
“Still, there must be something
wrong about him. Some defect of judgment.
He is a good climber; but not sure-footed. Or,
it may be that beyond a certain height his head grows
dizzy.”
“If one gets too eager in any
pursuit, he is almost sure to make false steps.
I think Brantley became too eager. The steadily
widening prospect as he went up, up, up, caused his
pulses to move at a quicker rate.”
“Too eager, and less scrupulous,” I suggested.
“His honor is unstained,” said the friend,
with some warmth.
“In the degree that a man grows
eager in pursuit, he is apt to grow blind to things
collateral, and less concerned about the principles
involved.”
“In some cases that may be true,
but is hardly probable in the case of Brantley.
I do not believe that he has swerved from integrity
in anything.”
“It is my belief,” I answered,
“that if he had not swerved, he would not have
fallen. I may be wrong, but cannot help the impression.”
“Brantley is an honest man.
I will maintain that in the face of every one,”
was replied.
“Honest as the world regards
honesty. But there are higher than legal standards.
What A and B may consider fair, C may regard as questionable.
He has his own standard; and if he falls below that
in his dealings with men, he departs from his integrity.”
“I have nothing to say for Brantley
under that view of the subject,” said the friend.
“If he has special standards of morality, and
does not live up to them, the matter is between himself
and his own conscience. We, on the outside, are
not his judges.”
It so happened that I met Brantley
a short time afterwards. The circumstances were
favorable, and our interview unreserved. He had
sold his house, and a large part of the handsome furniture
it contained, and was living in a humbler dwelling.
I referred to his changed condition, and spoke of
it with regret.
“There is no gratuitous evil,”
he remarked. “I have long been satisfied
on that head. If we lose on one hand, we gain
on another. And my experience in life leads me
to this conclusion, that the loss is generally in
lower things, and the gain in higher.”
I looked into his face, yet bearing
the marks of recent trial and suffering, and saw in
it the morning dawn.
“Has it been so with you?” I asked.
“Yes; and it has always been
so,” he answered, without hesitation. “It
is painful to be under the surgeon’s knife,”
he added. “We shrink back, shivering, at
the sight of his instruments. The flesh is agonized.
But when all is over, and the greedy tumor, or wasting
cancer, that was threatening life, is gone, we rejoice
and are glad.”
He sighed, and looked sober for a
little while, as thought went back, and memory gave
too vivid a realization of what had been, and then
resumed:
“I can see now, that what seemed
to me, and is still regarded by others as a great
misfortune, was the best thing that could have taken
place. I have lost, but I have gained; and the
gain is greater than the loss. It has always
been so. Out of every trouble or disaster that
has befallen me in life, I have come with a deep conviction
that my feet stumbled because they were turning into
paths that would lead my soul astray. However
much I may love myself and the world, however much
I may seek my own, below all and above all is the
conviction that time is fleeting, and life here but
as a span, that if I compass the whole world, and
lose my own soul, I have made a fearful exchange.
There are a great many things regarded by business
men as allowable. They are so common in trade,
that scarcely one man in a score questions their morality;
so common, that I have often found myself drifting
into their practice, and abandoning for a time the
higher principles in whose guidance there alone is
safety. Misfortune seems to have dogged my steps;
but in this pause of my life—in this state
of calmness—I can see that misfortune is
my good; for, not until my feet were turning into ways
that lead to death, did I stumble and fall.”
“Are you not too hard in self-judgment?”
I said.
“No,” he answered.
“The case stands just here. You know, I
presume, the immediate cause of my recent failure
in business.”
“A sudden decline in stocks.”
The color deepened on his cheeks.
“Yes; that is the cause.
Now, years ago, I settled it clearly with my own conscience
that stock speculation was wrong; that it was only
another name for gambling, in which, instead of rendering
service to the community, your gains were, in nearly
all cases, measured by another’s loss.
Departing from this just principle of action, I was
tempted to invest a large sum of money in a rising
stock, that I was sure would continue to advance until
it reached a point where, in selling I could realize
a net gain of ten thousand dollars. I was doing
well. I was putting by from two to three thousand
dollars every year, and was in a fair way to get rich.
But, as money began to accumulate, I grew more and
more eager in its acquirement, and less concerned
about the principles underlying every action, until
I passed into a temporary state of moral blindness.
I was less scrupulous about securing large advantages
in trade, and would take the lion’s share, if
opportunity offered, without a moment’s hesitation.
So, not content with doing well in a safe path, I must
step aside, and try my strength at climbing more rapidly,
even though danger threatened on the left and on the
right; even though I dragged others down in my hot
and perilous scramble upwards. I lost my footing—I
stumbled—I fell, crashing down to the very
bottom of the hill, half way up which I had gone so
safely ere the greedy fiend took possession of me.”
“And have not been really hurt by the fall,”
I remarked.
“I have suffered pain—terrible
pain; for I am of a sensitive nature,” he replied.
“But in the convulsions of agony, nothing but
the outside shell of a false life has been torn away.
The real man is unharmed. And now that the bitter
disappointment and sadness that attend humiliation
are over, I can say that my gain is greater than my
loss. I would rather grope in the vale of poverty
all my life, and keep my conscience clean, than stand
high up among the mountains of prosperity with a taint
thereon.
“God knows best,” he added,
after a pause, speaking in a more subdued tone.
“And I recognize the hand of His good providence
in this wreck of my worldly hopes. To gain riches
at the sacrifice of just principles is to gather up
dirt and throw away goodly pearls.”
“How is it with your family?”
I asked. “They must feel the change severely.”
“They did feel it. But
the pain is over with them also. Poor weak human
nature! My girls were active and industrious at
home, and diligent at school, while my circumstances
were limited. But, as money grew more plentiful,
and I gave them a larger house to live in, and richer
clothes to wear, they wearied of their useful employments,
and neglected their studies. Pride grew apace,
and vanity walked hand in hand with pride. They
were less considerate of one another, and less loving
to their parents. If I attempted to restrain
their fondness for dress, or check their extravagance,
they grew sullen, or used unfilial language.
Like their father, they could not bear prosperity.
But all is changed now. Misfortune has restored
them to a better state of mind. They emulate each
other in service at home; their minds dwell on useful
things; they are tender of their mother and considerate
of their father. Home is a sweeter place to us
all than it has been for a long time.”
“And so what the world calls
misfortune has proved a blessing.”
“Yes. In permitting my
feet to stumble; in letting me fall from the height
I had obtained, God dealt with me and mine in infinite
love. We give false names to things. We
call that good which only represents good, which is
of the heart and life, and not in external possessions.
He has taken from me the effigy that He may give me
the good itself.”
“If all men could find like
you,” I said, “a sweet kernel at the centre
of misfortune’s bitter nut.”
“All men may find it if they
will,” he answered, “for the sweet kernel
is there.”
How few find it! Nay, reader,
if you say this, your observation is at fault.
God’s providences with men are not like blind
chances, but full of wisdom and love. In the
darkness of sorrow and adversity a light shines on
the path that was not illumined before. When the
sun of worldly prosperity goes down, a thousand stars
are set in the firmament. In the stillness that
follows, God speaks to the soul and is heard.