* * * * *
As she finished this narrative, Mademoiselle
de Watteville’s cheeks were on fire; there was
a fever in her blood. She was crying—but
with rage. This little novel, inspired by the
literary style then in fashion, was the first reading
of the kind that Rosalie had ever had the chance of
devouring. Love was depicted in it, if not by
a master-hand, at any rate by a man who seemed to
give his own impressions; and truth, even if unskilled,
could not fail to touch a virgin soul. Here lay
the secret of Rosalie’s terrible agitation, of
her fever and her tears; she was jealous of Francesca
Colonna.
She never for an instant doubted the
sincerity of this poetical flight; Albert had taken
pleasure in telling the story of his passion, while
changing the names of persons and perhaps of places.
Rosalie was possessed by infernal curiosity.
What woman but would, like her, have wanted to know
her rival’s name—for she too loved!
As she read these pages, to her really contagious,
she had said solemnly to herself, “I love him!”—She
loved Albert, and felt in her heart a gnawing desire
to fight for him, to snatch him from this unknown rival.
She reflected that she knew nothing of music, and
that she was not beautiful.
“He will never love me!” thought she.
This conclusion aggravated her anxiety
to know whether she might not be mistaken, whether
Albert really loved an Italian Princess, and was loved
by her. In the course of this fateful night, the
power of swift decision, which had characterized the
famous Watteville, was fully developed in his descendant.
She devised those whimsical schemes, round which hovers
the imagination of most young girls when, in the solitude
to which some injudicious mothers confine them, they
are roused by some tremendous event which the system
of repression to which they are subjected could neither
foresee nor prevent. She dreamed of descending
by a ladder from the kiosk into the garden of the
house occupied by Albert; of taking advantage of the
lawyer’s being asleep to look through the window
into his private room. She thought of writing
to him, or of bursting the fetters of Besancon society
by introducing Albert to the drawing-room of the Hotel
de Rupt. This enterprise, which to the Abbe de
Grancey even would have seemed the climax of the impossible,
was a mere passing thought.
“Ah!” said she to herself,
“my father has a dispute pending as to his land
at les Rouxey. I will go there! If there
is no lawsuit, I will manage to make one, and he
shall come into our drawing-room!” she cried,
as she sprang out of bed and to the window to look
at the fascinating gleam which shone through Albert’s
nights. The clock struck one; he was still asleep.
“I shall see him when he gets
up; perhaps he will come to his window.”
At this instant Mademoiselle de Watteville
was witness to an incident which promised to place
in her power the means of knowing Albert’s secrets.
By the light of the moon she saw a pair of arms stretched
out from the kiosk to help Jerome, Albert’s
servant, to get across the coping of the wall and
step into the little building. In Jerome’s
accomplice Rosalie at once recognized Mariette the
lady’s-maid.
“Mariette and Jerome!”
said she to herself. “Mariette, such an
ugly girl! Certainly they must be ashamed of
themselves.”
Though Mariette was horribly ugly
and six-and-thirty, she had inherited several plots
of land. She had been seventeen years with Madame
de Watteville, who valued her highly for her bigotry,
her honesty, and long service, and she had no doubt
saved money and invested her wages and perquisites.
Hence, earning about ten louis a year, she probably
had by this time, including compound interest and
her little inheritance, not less than ten thousand
francs.
In Jerome’s eyes ten thousand
francs could alter the laws of optics; he saw in Mariette
a neat figure; he did not perceive the pits and seams
which virulent smallpox had left on her flat, parched
face; to him the crooked mouth was straight; and ever
since Savaron, by taking him into his service, had
brought him so near to the Wattevilles’ house,
he had laid siege systematically to the maid, who was
as prim and sanctimonious as her mistress, and who,
like every ugly old maid, was far more exacting than
the handsomest.
If the night-scene in the kiosk is
thus fully accounted for to all perspicacious readers,
it was not so to Rosalie, though she derived from
it the most dangerous lesson that can be given, that
of a bad example. A mother brings her daughter
up strictly, keeps her under her wing for seventeen
years, and then, in one hour, a servant girl destroys
the long and painful work, sometimes by a word, often
indeed by a gesture! Rosalie got into bed again,
not without considering how she might take advantage
of her discovery.
Next morning, as she went to Mass
accompanied by Mariette—her mother was
not well—Rosalie took the maid’s arm,
which surprised the country wench not a little.
“Mariette,” said she,
“is Jerome in his master’s confidence?”
“I do not know, mademoiselle.”
“Do not play the innocent with
me,” said Mademoiselle de Watteville drily.
“You let him kiss you last night under the kiosk;
I no longer wonder that you so warmly approved of
my mother’s ideas for the improvements she planned.”
Rosalie could feel how Mariette was
trembling by the shaking of her arm.
“I wish you no ill,” Rosalie
went on. “Be quite easy; I shall not say
a word to my mother, and you can meet Jerome as often
as you please.”
“But, mademoiselle,” said
Mariette, “it is perfectly respectable; Jerome
honestly means to marry me—”
“But then,” said Rosalie, “why meet
at night?”
Mariette was dumfounded, and could make no reply.
“Listen, Mariette; I am in love
too! In secret and without any return. I
am, after all, my father’s and mother’s
only child. You have more to hope for from me
than from any one else in the world—”
“Certainly, mademoiselle, and
you may count on us for life or death,” exclaimed
Mariette, rejoiced at the unexpected turn of affairs.
“In the first place, silence
for silence,” said Rosalie. “I will
not marry Monsieur de Soulas; but one thing I will
have, and must have; my help and favor are yours on
one condition only.”
“What is that?”
“I must see the letters which
Monsieur Savaron sends to the post by Jerome.”
“But what for?” said Mariette in alarm.
“Oh! merely to read them, and
you yourself shall post them afterwards. It will
cause a little delay; that is all.”
At this moment they went into church,
and each of them, instead of reading the order of
Mass, fell into her own train of thought.
“Dear, dear, how many sins are
there in all that?” thought Mariette.
Rosalie, whose soul, brain, and heart
were completely upset by reading the story, by this
time regarded it as history, written for her rival.
By dint of thinking of nothing else, like a child,
she ended by believing that the Eastern Review
was no doubt forwarded to Albert’s lady-love.
“Oh!” said she to herself,
her head buried in her hands in the attitude of a
person lost in prayer; “oh! how can I get my
father to look through the list of people to whom
the Review is sent?”
After breakfast she took a turn in
the garden with her father, coaxing and cajoling him,
and brought him to the kiosk.
“Do you suppose, my dear little
papa, that our Review is ever read abroad?”
“It is but just started—”
“Well, I will wager that it is.”
“It is hardly possible.”
“Just go and find out, and note
the names of any subscribers out of France.”
Two hours later Monsieur de Watteville said to his
daughter:
“I was right; there is not one
foreign subscriber as yet. They hope to get some
at Neufchatel, at Berne, and at Geneva. One copy,
is in fact, sent to Italy, but it is not paid for—to
a Milanese lady at her country house at Belgirate,
on Lago Maggiore.
“What is her name?”
“The Duchesse d’Argaiolo.”
“Do you know her, papa?”
“I have heard about her.
She was by birth a Princess Soderini, a Florentine,
a very great lady, and quite as rich as her husband,
who has one of the largest fortunes in Lombardy.
Their villa on the Lago Maggiore is one of the sights
of Italy.”
Two days after, Mariette placed the
following letter in Mademoiselle de Watteville’s
hand:—
Albert Savaron to Leopold Hannequin.
“Yes, ’tis so, my dear friend;
I am at Besancon, while you thought I was traveling.
I would not tell you anything till success should
begin, and now it is dawning. Yes, my dear Leopold,
after so many abortive undertakings, over which
I have shed the best of my blood, have wasted so
many efforts, spent so much courage, I have made
up my mind to do as you have done—to start
on a beaten path, on the highroad, as the longest
but the safest. I can see you jump with surprise
in your lawyer’s chair!
“But do not suppose that anything
is changed in my personal life, of which you alone
in the world know the secret, and that under the
reservations she insists on. I did not
tell you, my friend; but I was horribly weary of
Paris. The outcome of the first enterprise,
on which I had founded all my hopes, and which came
to a bad end in consequence of the utter rascality
of my two partners, who combined to cheat and fleece
me—me, though everything was done by
my energy—made me give up the pursuit of
a fortune after the loss of three years of my life.
One of these years was spent in the law courts,
and perhaps I should have come worse out of the
scrape if I had not been made to study law when I
was twenty.
“I made up my mind to go into politics
solely, to the end that I may some day find my name
on a list for promotion to the Senate under the
title of Comte Albert Savaron de Savarus, and so revive
in France a good name now extinct in Belgium—though
indeed I am neither legitimate nor legitimized.”
“Ah! I knew it! He
is of noble birth!” exclaimed Rosalie, dropping
the letter.
“You know how conscientiously I
studied, how faithful and useful I was as an obscure
journalist, and how excellent a secretary to the statesman
who, on his part, was true to me in 1829. Flung
to the depths once more by the revolution of July
just when my name was becoming known, at the very
moment when, as Master of Appeals, I was about to
find my place as a necessary wheel in the political
machine, I committed the blunder of remaining faithful
to the fallen, and fighting for them, without them.
Oh! why was I but three-and-thirty, and why did
I not apply to you to make me eligible? I concealed
from you all my devotedness and my dangers. What
would you have? I was full of faith. We should
not have agreed.
“Ten months ago, when you saw me
so gay and contented, writing my political articles,
I was in despair; I foresaw my fate, at the age
of thirty-seven, with two thousand francs for my whole
fortune, without the smallest fame, just having failed
in a noble undertaking, the founding, namely, of
a daily paper answering only to a need of the future
instead of appealing to the passions of the moment.
I did not know which way to turn, and I felt my own
value! I wandered about, gloomy and hurt, through
the lonely places of Paris—Paris which
had slipped through my fingers —thinking
of my crushed ambitions, but never giving them up.
Oh, what frantic letters I wrote at that time to
her, my second conscience, my other self!
Sometimes I would say to myself, ’Why did
I sketch so vast a programme of life? Why demand
everything? Why not wait for happiness while
devoting myself to some mechanical employment.’
“I then looked about me for some
modest appointment by which I might live. I
was about to get the editorship of a paper under a
manager who did not know much about it, a man of
wealth and ambition, when I took fright. ’Would
she ever accept as her husband a man who
had stooped so low?’ I wondered.
“This reflection made me two-and-twenty
again. But, oh, my dear Leopold, how the soul
is worn by these perplexities! What must not
the caged eagles suffer, and imprisoned lions!—They
suffer what Napoleon suffered, not at Saint Helena,
but on the Quay of the Tuileries, on the 10th of
August, when he saw Louis XVI. defending himself
so badly while he could have quelled the insurrection;
as he actually did, on the same spot, a little later,
in Vendemiaire. Well, my life has been a torment
of that kind, extending over four years. How
many a speech to the Chamber have I not delivered in
the deserted alleys of the Bois de Boulogne!
These wasted harangues have at any rate sharpened
my tongue and accustomed my mind to formulate its
ideas in words. And while I was undergoing this
secret torture, you were getting married, you had paid
for your business, you were made law-clerk to the
Maire of your district, after gaining a cross for
a wound at Saint-Merri.
“Now, listen. When I was a
small boy and tortured cock-chafers, the poor insects
had one form of struggle which used almost to put
me in a fever. It was when I saw them making
repeated efforts to fly but without getting away,
though they could spread their wings. We used
to say, ‘They are marking time.’ Now
was this sympathy? Was it a vision of my own
future?—Oh! to spread my wings and yet
be unable to fly! That has been my predicament
since that fine undertaking by which I was disgusted,
but which has now made four families rich.
“At last, seven months ago, I determined
to make myself a name at the Paris Bar, seeing how
many vacancies had been left by the promotion of
several lawyers to eminent positions. But when
I remembered the rivalry I had seen among men of
the press, and how difficult it is to achieve anything
of any kind in Paris, the arena where so many champions
meet, I came to a determination painful to myself,
but certain in its results, and perhaps quicker than
any other. In the course of our conversations
you had given me a picture of the society of Besancon,
of the impossibility for a stranger to get on there,
to produce the smallest effect, to get into society,
or to succeed in any way whatever. It was there
that I determined to set up my flag, thinking, and
rightly, that I should meet with no opposition,
but find myself alone to canvass for the election.
The people of the Comte will not meet the outsider?
The outsider will meet them! They refuse to admit
him to their drawing-rooms, he will never go there!
He never shows himself anywhere, not even in the
streets! But there is one class that elects
the deputies—the commercial class.
I am going especially to study commercial questions,
with which I am already familiar; I will gain their
lawsuits, I will effect compromises, I will be the
greatest pleader in Besancon. By and by I will
start a Review, in which I will defend the
interests of the country, will create them, or preserve
them, or resuscitate them. When I shall have
won a sufficient number of votes, my name will come
out of the urn. For a long time the unknown
barrister will be treated with contempt, but some
circumstance will arise to bring him to the front—some
unpaid defence, or a case which no other pleader will
undertake.
“Well, my dear Leopold, I packed
up my books in eleven cases, I bought such law-books
as might prove useful, and I sent everything off,
furniture and all, by carrier to Besancon. I collected
my diplomas, and I went to bid you good-bye.
The mail coach dropped me at Besancon, where, in
three days’ time, I chose a little set of
rooms looking out over some gardens. I sumptuously
arranged the mysterious private room where I spend
my nights and days, and where the portrait of my
divinity reigns—of her to whom my life
is dedicate, who fills it wholly, who is the mainspring
of my efforts, the secret of my courage, the cause
of my talents. Then, as soon as the furniture
and books had come, I engaged an intelligent man-servant,
and there I sat for five months like a hibernating
marmot.
“My name had, however, been entered
on the list of lawyers in the town. At last
I was called one day to defend an unhappy wretch at
the Assizes, no doubt in order to hear me speak for
once! One of the most influential merchants
of Besancon was on the jury; he had a difficult
task to fulfil; I did my utmost for the man, and my
success was absolute and complete. My client
was innocent; I very dramatically secured the arrest
of the real criminals, who had come forward as witnesses.
In short, the Court and the public were united in
their admiration. I managed to save the examining
magistrate’s pride by pointing out the impossibility
of detecting a plot so skilfully planned.
“Then I had to fight a case for
my merchant, and won his suit. The Cathedral
Chapter next chose me to defend a tremendous action
against the town, which had been going on for four
years; I won that. Thus, after three trials,
I had become the most famous advocate of Franche-Comte.
“But I bury my life in the deepest
mystery, and so hide my aims. I have adopted
habits which prevent my accepting any invitations.
I am only to be consulted between six and eight
in the morning; I go to bed after my dinner, and
work at night. The Vicar-General, a man of
parts, and very influential, who placed the Chapter’s
case in my hands after they had lost it in the lower
Court, of course professed their gratitude.
‘Monsieur,’ said I, ’I will win your
suit, but I want no fee; I want more’ (start
of alarm on the Abbe’s part). ’You
must know that I am a great loser by putting myself
forward in antagonism to the town. I came here
only to leave the place as deputy. I mean to
engage only in commercial cases, because commercial
men return the members; they will distrust me if
I defend “the priests”—for to
them you are simply priests. If I undertake
your defence, it is because I was, in 1828, private
secretary to such a Minister’ (again a start
of surprise on the part of my Abbe), ’and
Master of Appeals, under the name of Albert de Savarus’
(another start). ’I have remained faithful
to monarchical opinions; but, as you have not the
majority of votes in Besancon, I must gain votes
among the citizens. So the fee I ask of you
is the votes you may be able secretly to secure
for me at the opportune moment. Let us each keep
our own counsel, and I will defend, for nothing, every
case to which a priest of this diocese may be a
party. Not a word about my previous life, and
we will be true to each other.’
“When he came to thank me afterwards,
he gave me a note for five hundred francs, and said
in my ear, ’The votes are a bargain all the
same.’—I have in the course of five
interviews made a friend, I think, of this Vicar-General.
“Now I am overwhelmed with business,
and I undertake no cases but those brought to me
by merchants, saying that commercial questions are
my specialty. This line of conduct attaches business
men to me, and allows me to make friends with influential
persons. So all goes well. Within a few
months I shall have found a house to purchase in
Besancon, so as to secure a qualification. I count
on your lending me the necessary capital for this
investment. If I should die, if I should fail,
the loss would be too small to be any consideration
between you and me. You will get the interest
out of the rental, and I shall take good care to
look out for something cheap, so that you may lose
nothing by this mortgage, which is indispensable.
“Oh! my dear Leopold, no gambler
with the last remains of his fortune in his pocket,
bent on staking it at the Cercle des Etrangers for
the last time one night, when he must come away rich
or ruined, ever felt such a perpetual ringing in
his ears, such a nervous moisture on his palms,
such a fevered tumult in his brain, such inward
qualms in his body as I go through every day now that
I am playing my last card in the game of ambition.
Alas! my dear and only friend, for nearly ten years
now I have been struggling. This battle with
men and things, in which I have unceasingly poured
out my strength and energy, and so constantly worn
the springs of desire, has, so to speak, undermined
my vitality. With all the appearance of a strong
man of good health, I feel myself a wreck.
Every day carries with it a shred of my inmost life.
At every fresh effort I feel that I should never
be able to begin again. I have no power, no
vigor left but for happiness; and if it should never
come to crown my head with roses, the me that
is really me would cease to exist, I should be a
ruined thing. I should wish for nothing more
in the world. I should want to cease from living.
You know that power and fame, the vast moral empire
that I crave, is but secondary; it is to me only
a means to happiness, the pedestal for my idol.
“To reach the goal and die, like
the runner of antiquity! To see fortune and
death stand on the threshold hand in hand! To
win the beloved woman just when love is extinct!
To lose the faculty of enjoyment after earning the
right to be happy!—Of how many men has
this been the fate!
“But there surely is a moment when
Tantalus rebels, crosses his arms, and defies hell,
throwing up his part of the eternal dupe. That
is what I shall come to if anything should thwart my
plan; if, after stooping to the dust of provincial
life, prowling like a starving tiger round these
tradesmen, these electors, to secure their votes;
if, after wrangling in these squalid cases, and giving
them my time—the time I might have spent
on Lago Maggiore, seeing the waters she sees, basking
in her gaze, hearing her voice —if, after
all, I failed to scale the tribune and conquer the
glory that should surround the name that is to succeed
to that of Argaiolo! Nay, more than this, Leopold;
there are days when I feel a heady languor; deep
disgust surges up from the depths of my soul, especially
when, abandoned to long day-dreams, I have lost myself
in anticipation of the joys of blissful love!
May it not be that our desire has only a certain
modicum of power, and that it perishes, perhaps,
of a too lavish effusion of its essence? For,
after all, at this present, my life is fair, illuminated
by faith, work, and love.
“Farewell, my friend; I send
love to your children, and beg you to
remember me to your excellent wife.—Yours,
“ALBERT.”
Rosalie read this letter twice through,
and its general purport was stamped on her heart.
She suddenly saw the whole of Albert’s previous
existence, for her quick intelligence threw light on
all the details, and enabled her to take it all in.
By adding this information to the little novel published
in the Review, she now fully understood Albert.
Of course, she exaggerated the greatness, remarkable
as it was, of this lofty soul and potent will, and
her love for Albert thenceforth became a passion,
its violence enhanced by all the strength of her youth,
the weariness of her solitude, and the unspent energy
of her character. Love is in a young girl the
effect of a natural law; but when her craving for
affection is centered in an exceptional man, it is
mingled with the enthusiasm which overflows in a youthful
heart. Thus Mademoiselle de Watteville had in
a few days reached a morbid and very dangerous stage
of enamored infatuation. The Baroness was much
pleased with her daughter, who, being under the spell
of her absorbing thoughts, never resisted her will,
seemed to be devoted to feminine occupations, and
realized her mother’s ideal of a docile daughter.
The lawyer was now engaged in Court
two or three times a week. Though he was overwhelmed
with business, he found time to attend the trials,
call on the litigious merchants, and conduct the Review;
keeping up his personal mystery, from the conviction
that the more covert and hidden was his influence,
the more real it would be. But he neglected no
means of success, reading up the list of electors of
Besancon, and finding out their interests, their characters,
their various friendships and antipathies. Did
ever a Cardinal hoping to be made Pope give himself
more trouble?
One evening Mariette, on coming to
dress Rosalie for an evening party, handed to her,
not without many groans over this treachery, a letter
of which the address made Mademoiselle de Watteville
shiver and redden and turn pale again as she read
the address:
To Madame la Duchesse d’Argaiolo
(nee Princesse Soderini)
At Belgirate,
Lago Maggiore,
Italy.
In her eyes this direction blazed
as the words Mene, Tekel, Upharsin,
did in the eyes of Belshazzar. After concealing
the letter, Rosalie went downstairs to accompany her
mother to Madame de Chavoncourt’s; and as long
as the endless evening lasted, she was tormented by
remorse and scruples. She had already felt shame
at having violated the secrecy of Albert’s letter
to Leopold; she had several times asked herself whether,
if he knew of her crime, infamous inasmuch as it necessarily
goes unpunished, the high-minded Albert could esteem
her. Her conscience answered an uncompromising
“No.”
She had expiated her sin by self-imposed
penances; she fasted, she mortified herself by remaining
on her knees, her arms outstretched for hours, and
repeating prayers all the time. She had compelled
Mariette to similar sets of repentance; her passion
was mingled with genuine asceticism, and was all the
more dangerous.
“Shall I read that letter, shall
I not?” she asked herself, while listening to
the Chavoncourt girls. One was sixteen, the other
seventeen and a half. Rosalie looked upon her
two friends as mere children because they were not
secretly in love.—“If I read it,”
she finally decided, after hesitating for an hour
between Yes and No, “it shall, at any rate,
be the last. Since I have gone so far as to see
what he wrote to his friend, why should I not know
what he says to her? If it is a horrible
crime, is it not a proof of love? Oh, Albert!
am I not your wife?”
When Rosalie was in bed she opened
the letter, dated from day to day, so as to give the
Duchess a faithful picture of Albert’s life and
feelings.
“25th.
“My dear Soul, all is well.
To my other conquests I have just added an invaluable
one: I have done a service to one of the most
influential men who work the elections. Like
the critics, who make other men’s reputations
but can never make their own, he makes deputies
though he never can become one. The worthy man
wanted to show his gratitude without loosening his
purse-strings by saying to me, ’Would you
care to sit in the Chamber? I can get you returned
as deputy.’
“‘If I ever make up my mind
to enter on a political career,’
replied I hypocritically, ’it would
be to devote myself to the
Comte, which I love, and where I am appreciated.’
“‘Well,’ he said, ’we
will persuade you, and through you we shall
have weight in the Chamber, for you will
distinguish yourself
there.’
“And so, my beloved angel, say what
you will, my perseverance will be rewarded.
Ere long I shall, from the high place of the French
Tribune, come before my country, before Europe.
My name will be flung to you by the hundred voices
of the French press.
“Yes, as you tell me, I was old
when I came to Besancon, and Besancon has aged me
more; but, like Sixtus V., I shall be young again
the day after my election. I shall enter on my
true life, my own sphere. Shall we not then
stand in the same line? Count Savaron de Savarus,
Ambassador I know not where, may surely marry a
Princess Soderini, the widow of the Duc d’Argaiolo!
Triumph restores the youth of men who have been
preserved by incessant struggles. Oh, my Life!
with what gladness did I fly from my library to
my private room, to tell your portrait of this progress
before writing to you! Yes, the votes I can
command, those of the Vicar-General, of the persons
I can oblige, and of this client, make my election
already sure.
“26th.
“We have entered on the twelfth
year since that blest evening when, by a look, the
beautiful Duchess sealed the promises made by the
exile Francesca. You, dear, are thirty-two, I
am thirty-five; the dear Duke is seventy-seven—that
is to say, ten years more than yours and mine put
together, and he still keeps well! My patience
is almost as great as my love, and indeed I need a
few years yet to rise to the level of your name.
As you see, I am in good spirits to-day, I can laugh;
that is the effect of hope. Sadness or gladness,
it all comes to me through you. The hope of success
always carries me back to the day following that one
on which I saw you for the first time, when my life
became one with yours as the earth turns to the
light. Qual pianto are these eleven years,
for this is the 26th of December, the anniversary of
my arrival at your villa on the Lake of Geneva.
For eleven years have I been crying to you, while
you shine like a star set too high for man to reach
it.
“27th.
“No, dearest, do not go to Milan;
stay at Belgirate. Milan terrifies me.
I do not like that odious Milanese fashion of chatting
at the Scala every evening with a dozen persons, among
whom it is hard if no one says something sweet.
To me solitude is like the lump of amber in whose
heart an insect lives for ever in unchanging beauty.
Thus the heart and soul of a woman remains pure and
unaltered in the form of their first youth. Is
it the Tedeschi that you regret?
“28th.
“Is your statue never to be finished?
I should wish to have you in marble, in painting,
in miniature, in every possible form, to beguile
my impatience. I still am waiting for the view
of Belgirate from the south, and that of the balcony;
these are all that I now lack. I am so extremely
busy that to-day I can only write you nothing—but
that nothing is everything. Was it not of nothing
that God made the world? That nothing is a word,
God’s word: I love you!
“30th.
“Ah! I have received your journal.
Thanks for your punctuality. —So
you found great pleasure in seeing all the details
of our first acquaintance thus set down? Alas!
even while disguising them I was sorely afraid of
offending you. We had no stories, and a Review
without stories is a beauty without hair. Not
being inventive by nature, and in sheer despair,
I took the only poetry in my soul, the only adventure
in my memory, and pitched it in the key in which
it would bear telling; nor did I ever cease to think
of you while writing the only literary production
that will ever come from my heart, I cannot say
from my pen. Did not the transformation of
your fierce Sormano into Gina make you laugh?
“You ask after my health. Well,
it is better than in Paris. Though I work enormously,
the peacefulness of the surroundings has its effect
on the mind. What really tries and ages me, dear
angel, is the anguish of mortified vanity, the perpetual
friction of Paris life, the struggle of rival ambitions.
This peace is a balm.
“If you could imagine the pleasure
your letter gives me!—the long, kind
letter in which you tell me the most trivial incidents
of your life. No! you women can never know to
what a degree a true lover is interested in these
trifles. It was an immense pleasure to see
the pattern of your new dress. Can it be a matter
of indifference to me to know what you wear?
If your lofty brow is knit? If our writers
amuse you? If Canalis’ songs delight you?
I read the books you read. Even to your boating
on the lake every incident touched me. Your
letter is as lovely, as sweet as your soul!
Oh! flower of heaven, perpetually adored, could I have
lived without those dear letters, which for eleven
years have upheld me in my difficult path like a
light, like a perfume, like a steady chant, like
some divine nourishment, like everything which can
soothe and comfort life.
“Do not fail me! If you knew
what anxiety I suffer the day before
they are due, or the pain a day’s
delay can give me! Is she ill?
Is he? I am midway between
hell and paradise.
“O mia cara diva, keep up
your music, exercise your voice, practise.
I am enchanted with the coincidence of employments
and hours by which, though separated by the Alps,
we live by precisely the same rule. The thought
charms me and gives me courage. The first time
I undertook to plead here—I forget to tell
you this—I fancied that you were listening
to me, and I suddenly felt the flash of inspiration
which lifts the poet above mankind. If I am returned
to the Chamber—oh! you must come to Paris
to be present at my first appearance there!
“30th,
Evening.
“Good heavens, how I love you!
Alas! I have intrusted too much to my love
and my hopes. An accident which should sink that
overloaded bark would end my life. For three
years now I have not seen you, and at the thought
of going to Belgirate my heart beats so wildly that
I am forced to stop.—To see you, to hear
that girlish caressing voice! To embrace in
my gaze that ivory skin, glistening under the candlelight,
and through which I can read your noble mind!
To admire your fingers playing on the keys, to drink
in your whole soul in a look, in the tone of an Oime
or an Alberto! To walk by the blossoming
orange-trees, to live a few months in the bosom
of that glorious scenery!—That is life.
What folly it is to run after power, a name, fortune!
But at Belgirate there is everything; there is poetry,
there is glory! I ought to have made myself
your steward, or, as that dear tyrant whom we cannot
hate proposed to me, live there as cavaliere servente,
only our passion was too fierce to allow of it.
“Farewell, my angel, forgive me
my next fit of sadness in consideration of this
cheerful mood; it has come as a beam of light from
the torch of Hope, which has hitherto seemed to me
a Will-o’-the-wisp.”
“How he loves her!” cried
Rosalie, dropping the letter, which seemed heavy in
her hand. “After eleven years to write like
this!”
“Mariette,” said Mademoiselle
de Watteville to her maid next morning, “go
and post this letter. Tell Jerome that I know
all I wish to know, and that he is to serve Monsieur
Albert faithfully. We will confess our sins,
you and I, without saying to whom the letters belonged,
nor to whom they were going. I was in the wrong;
I alone am guilty.”
“Mademoiselle has been crying?” said Mariette.
“Yes, but I do not want that
my mother should perceive it; give me some very cold
water.”
In the midst of the storms of her
passion Rosalie often listened to the voice of conscience.
Touched by the beautiful fidelity of these two hearts,
she had just said her prayers, telling herself that
there was nothing left to her but to be resigned,
and to respect the happiness of two beings worthy
of each other, submissive to fate, looking to God
for everything, without allowing themselves any criminal
acts or wishes. She felt a better woman, and had
a certain sense of satisfaction after coming to this
resolution, inspired by the natural rectitude of youth.
And she was confirmed in it by a girl’s idea:
She was sacrificing herself for him.
“She does not know how to love,”
thought she. “Ah! if it were I—I
would give up everything to a man who loved me so.—To
be loved! —When, by whom shall I be
loved? That little Monsieur de Soulas only loves
my money; if I were poor, he would not even look at
me.”
“Rosalie, my child, what are
you thinking about? You are working beyond the
outline,” said the Baroness to her daughter,
who was making worsted-work slippers for the Baron.
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