’Well, Agnes, you must not take
such long walks again before breakfast,’ said
my mother, observing that I drank an extra cup of
coffee and ate nothing—pleading the heat
of the weather, and the fatigue of my long walk as
an excuse. I certainly did feel feverish and
tired too.
’You always do things by extremes:
now, if you had taken a short walk every morning,
and would continue to do so, it would do you good.’
‘Well, mamma, I will.’
’But this is worse than lying
in bed or bending over your books: you have quite
put yourself into a fever.’
‘I won’t do it again,’ said I.
I was racking my brains with thinking
how to tell her about Mr. Weston, for she must know
he was coming to-morrow. However, I waited till
the breakfast things were removed, and I was more calm
and cool; and then, having sat down to my drawing,
I began—’I met an old friend on the
sands to-day, mamma.’
‘An old friend! Who could it be?’
‘Two old friends, indeed.
One was a dog;’ and then I reminded her of
Snap, whose history I had recounted before, and related
the incident of his sudden appearance and remarkable
recognition; ’and the other,’ continued
I, ‘was Mr. Weston, the curate of Horton.’
‘Mr. Weston! I never heard of him before.’
’Yes, you have: I’ve
mentioned him several times, I believe: but
you don’t remember.’
‘I’ve heard you speak of Mr. Hatfield.’
’Mr. Hatfield was the rector,
and Mr. Weston the curate: I used to mention
him sometimes in contradistinction to Mr. Hatfield,
as being a more efficient clergyman. However,
he was on the sands this morning with the dog—he
had bought it, I suppose, from the rat-catcher; and
he knew me as well as it did—probably through
its means: and I had a little conversation with
him, in the course of which, as he asked about our
school, I was led to say something about you, and
your good management; and he said he should like to
know you, and asked if I would introduce him to you,
if he should take the liberty of calling to-morrow;
so I said I would. Was I right?’
‘Of course. What kind of a man is he?’
’A very respectable man,
I think: but you will see him to-morrow.
He is the new vicar of F—–, and as
he has only been there a few weeks, I suppose he has
made no friends yet, and wants a little society.’
The morrow came. What a fever
of anxiety and expectation I was in from breakfast
till noon—at which time he made his appearance!
Having introduced him to my mother, I took my work
to the window, and sat down to await the result of
the interview. They got on extremely well together—greatly
to my satisfaction, for I had felt very anxious about
what my mother would think of him. He did not
stay long that time: but when he rose to take
leave, she said she should be happy to see him, whenever
he might find it convenient to call again; and when
he was gone, I was gratified by hearing her say,—’Well!
I think he’s a very sensible man. But
why did you sit back there, Agnes,’ she added,
‘and talk so little?’
’Because you talked so well,
mamma, I thought you required no assistance from me:
and, besides, he was your visitor, not mine.’
After that, he often called upon us—several
times in the course of a week. He generally
addressed most of his conversation to my mother:
and no wonder, for she could converse. I almost
envied the unfettered, vigorous fluency of her discourse,
and the strong sense evinced by everything she said—and
yet, I did not; for, though I occasionally regretted
my own deficiencies for his sake, it gave me very
great pleasure to sit and hear the two beings I loved
and honoured above every one else in the world, discoursing
together so amicably, so wisely, and so well.
I was not always silent, however; nor was I at all
neglected. I was quite as much noticed as I
would wish to be: there was no lack of kind words
and kinder looks, no end of delicate attentions, too
fine and subtle to be grasped by words, and therefore
indescribable—but deeply felt at heart.
Ceremony was quickly dropped between
us: Mr. Weston came as an expected guest, welcome
at all times, and never deranging the economy of our
household affairs. He even called me ‘Agnes:’
the name had been timidly spoken at first, but, finding
it gave no offence in any quarter, he seemed greatly
to prefer that appellation to ‘Miss Grey;’
and so did I. How tedious and gloomy were those days
in which he did not come! And yet not miserable;
for I had still the remembrance of the last visit and
the hope of the next to cheer me. But when two
or three days passed without my seeing him, I certainly
felt very anxious—absurdly, unreasonably
so; for, of course, he had his own business and the
affairs of his parish to attend to. And I dreaded
the close of the holidays, when my business also
would begin, and I should be sometimes unable to see
him, and sometimes—when my mother was in
the schoolroom— obliged to be with him
alone: a position I did not at all desire, in
the house; though to meet him out of doors, and walk
beside him, had proved by no means disagreeable.
One evening, however, in the last
week of the vacation, he arrived—unexpectedly:
for a heavy and protracted thunder-shower during
the afternoon had almost destroyed my hopes of seeing
him that day; but now the storm was over, and the
sun was shining brightly.
‘A beautiful evening, Mrs. Grey!’
said he, as he entered. ’Agnes, I want
you to take a walk with me to—’ (he
named a certain part of the coast—a bold
hill on the land side, and towards the sea a steep
precipice, from the summit of which a glorious view
is to be had). ’The rain has laid the
dust, and cooled and cleared the air, and the prospect
will be magnificent. Will you come?’
‘Can I go, mamma?’
‘Yes; to be sure.’
I went to get ready, and was down
again in a few minutes; though, of course, I took
a little more pains with my attire than if I had merely
been going out on some shopping expedition alone.
The thunder-shower had certainly had a most beneficial
effect upon the weather, and the evening was most
delightful. Mr. Weston would have me to take
his arm; he said little during our passage through
the crowded streets, but walked very fast, and appeared
grave and abstracted. I wondered what was the
matter, and felt an indefinite dread that something
unpleasant was on his mind; and vague surmises, concerning
what it might be, troubled me not a little, and made
me grave and silent enough. But these fantasies
vanished upon reaching the quiet outskirts of the
town; for as soon as we came within sight of the venerable
old church, and the—hill, with the deep
blue beyond it, I found my companion was cheerful enough.
‘I’m afraid I’ve
been walking too fast for you, Agnes,’ said he:
’in my impatience to be rid of the town, I forgot
to consult your convenience; but now we’ll walk
as slowly as you please. I see, by those light
clouds in the west, there will be a brilliant sunset,
and we shall be in time to witness its effect upon
the sea, at the most moderate rate of progression.’
When we had got about half-way up
the hill, we fell into silence again; which, as usual,
he was the first to break.
‘My house is desolate yet, Miss
Grey,’ he smilingly observed, ’and I am
acquainted now with all the ladies in my parish, and
several in this town too; and many others I know by
sight and by report; but not one of them will suit
me for a companion; in fact, there is only one person
in the world that will: and that is yourself;
and I want to know your decision?’
‘Are you in earnest, Mr. Weston?’
‘In earnest! How could you think I should
jest on such a subject?’
He laid his hand on mine, that rested
on his arm: he must have felt it tremble—but
it was no great matter now.
‘I hope I have not been too
precipitate,’ he said, in a serious tone.
’You must have known that it was not my way
to flatter and talk soft nonsense, or even to speak
the admiration that I felt; and that a single word
or glance of mine meant more than the honied phrases
and fervent protestations of most other men.’
I said something about not liking
to leave my mother, and doing nothing without her
consent.
’I settled everything with Mrs.
Grey, while you were putting on your bonnet,’
replied he. ’She said I might have her
consent, if I could obtain yours; and I asked her,
in case I should be so happy, to come and live with
us—for I was sure you would like it better.
But she refused, saying she could now afford to employ
an assistant, and would continue the school till she
could purchase an annuity sufficient to maintain her
in comfortable lodgings; and, meantime, she would
spend her vacations alternately with us and your sister,
and should be quite contented if you were happy.
And so now I have overruled your objections on her
account. Have you any other?’
‘No—none.’
‘You love me then?’ said be, fervently
pressing my hand.
‘Yes.’
Here I pause. My Diary, from
which I have compiled these pages, goes but little
further. I could go on for years, but I will
content myself with adding, that I shall never forget
that glorious summer evening, and always remember
with delight that steep hill, and the edge of the
precipice where we stood together, watching the splendid
sunset mirrored in the restless world of waters at
our feet—with hearts filled with gratitude
to heaven, and happiness, and love—almost
too full for speech.
A few weeks after that, when my mother
had supplied herself with an assistant, I became the
wife of Edward Weston; and never have found cause
to repent it, and am certain that I never shall.
We have had trials, and we know that we must have
them again; but we bear them well together, and endeavour
to fortify ourselves and each other against the final
separation—that greatest of all afflictions
to the survivor. But, if we keep in mind the
glorious heaven beyond, where both may meet again,
and sin and sorrow are unknown, surely that too may
be borne; and, meantime, we endeavour to live to the
glory of Him who has scattered so many blessings in
our path.
Edward, by his strenuous exertions,
has worked surprising reforms in his parish, and is
esteemed and loved by its inhabitants—as
he deserves; for whatever his faults may be as a man
(and no one is entirely without), I defy anybody to
blame him as a pastor, a husband, or a father.
Our children, Edward, Agnes, and little
Mary, promise well; their education, for the time
being, is chiefly committed to me; and they shall
want no good thing that a mother’s care can give.
Our modest income is amply sufficient for our requirements:
and by practising the economy we learnt in harder
times, and never attempting to imitate our richer
neighbours, we manage not only to enjoy comfort and
contentment ourselves, but to have every year something
to lay by for our children, and something to give
to those who need it.
And now I think I have said sufficient.
* END of the project gutenberg
EBOOK, Agnes grey *
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