A Texas Matchmaker

A PIGEON HUNT

The new year dawned on Las Palomas rich in promise of future content.  Uncle Lance and I had had a long talk the evening before, and under the reasoning of the old optimist the gloom gradually lifted from my spirits.  I was glad I had been so brutally blunt that evening, regarding what Mrs. McLeod had said about him; for it had a tendency to increase the rancher’s aggressiveness in my behalf.  “Hell, Tom,” said the old man, as we walked from the corrals to the house, “don’t let a little thing like this disturb you.  Of course she’ll four-flush and bluff you if she can, but you don’t want to pay any more attention to the old lady than if she was some pelado.  To be sure, it would be better to have her consent, but then”—­

Glenn Gallup also arrived at the ranch on New Year’s eve.  He brought the report that wild pigeons were again roosting at the big bend of the river.  It was a well-known pigeon roost, but the birds went to other winter feeding grounds, except during years when there was a plentiful sweet mast.  This bend was about midway between the ranch and Shepherd’s, contained about two thousand acres, and was heavily timbered with ash, pecan, and hackberry.  The feeding grounds lay distant, extending from the encinal ridges on the Las Palomas lands to live-oak groves a hundred miles to the southward.  But however far the pigeons might go for food, they always returned to the roosting place at night.

“That means pigeon pie,” said Uncle Lance, on receiving Glenn’s report.  “Everybody and the cook can go.  We only have a sweet mast about every three or four years in the encinal, but it always brings the wild pigeons.  We’ll take a couple of pack mules and the little and the big pot and the two biggest Dutch ovens on the ranch.  Oh, you got to parboil a pigeon if you want a tender pie.  Next to a fish fry, a good pigeon pie makes the finest eating going.  I’ve made many a one, and I give notice right now that the making of the pie falls to me or I won’t play.  And another thing, not a bird shall be killed more than we can use.  Of course we’ll bring home a mess, and a few apiece for the Mexicans.”

We had got up our horses during the forenoon, and as soon as dinner was over the white contingent saddled up and started for the roost.  Tiburcio and Enrique accompanied us, and, riding leisurely, we reached the bend several hours before the return of the birds.  The roost had been in use but a short time, but as we scouted through the timber there was abundant evidence of an immense flight of pigeons.  The ground was literally covered with feathers; broken limbs hung from nearly every tree, while in one instance a forked hackberry had split from the weight of the birds.

We made camp on the outskirts of the timber, and at early dusk great flocks of pigeons began to arrive at their roosting place.  We only had four shotguns, and, dividing into pairs, we entered the roost shortly after dark.  Glenn Gallup fell to me as my pardner.  I carried the gunny sack for the birds, not caring for a gun in such unfair shooting.  The flights continued to arrive for fully an hour after we entered the roost, and in half a dozen shots we bagged over fifty birds.  Remembering the admonition of Uncle Lance, Gallup refused to kill more, and we sat down and listened to the rumbling noises of the grove.  There was a constant chattering of the pigeons, and as they settled in great flights in the trees overhead, whipping the branches with their wings in search of footing, they frequently fell to the ground at our feet.

Gallup and I returned to camp early.  Before we had skinned our kill the others had all come in, disgusted with the ease with which they had filled their bags.  We soon had two pots filled and on the fire parboiling, while Tiburcio lined two ovens with pastry, all ready for the baking.  In a short time two horsemen, attracted by our fire, crossed the river below our camp and rode up.

“Hello, Uncle Lance,” lustily shouted one of them, as he dismounted.  “It’s you, is it, that’s shooting my pigeons?  All right, sir, I’ll stay all night and help you eat them.  I had figured on riding back to the Frio to-night, but I’ve changed my mind.  Got any horse hobbles here?” The two men, George Nathan and Hugh Trotter, were accommodated with hobbles, and after an exchange of commonplace news of the country, we settled down to story-telling.  Trotter was a convivial acquaintance of Aaron Scales, quite a vagabond and consequently a story-teller.  After Trotter had narrated a late dream, Scales unlimbered and told one of his own.

“I remember a dream I had several years ago, and the only way I can account for it was, I had been drinking more or less during the day.  I dreamt I was making a long ride across a dreary desert, and towards night it threatened a bad storm.  I began to look around for some shelter.  I could just see the tops of a clump of trees beyond a hill, and rode hard to get to them, thinking that there might be a house amongst them.  How I did ride!  But I certainly must have had a poor horse, for I never seemed to get any nearer that timber.  I rode and rode, but all this time, hours and hours it seemed, and the storm gathering and scattering raindrops falling, the timber seemed scarcely any nearer.

“At last I managed to reach the crest of the hill.  Well, sir, there wasn’t a tree in sight, only, under the brow of the hill, a deserted adobe jacal, and I rode for that, picketed my horse and went in.  The jacal had a thatched roof with several large holes in it, and in the fireplace burned a roaring fire.  That was some strange, but I didn’t mind it and I was warming my hands before the fire and congratulating myself on my good luck, when a large black cat sprang from the outside into an open window, and said:  ’Pardner, it looks like a bad night outside.’

“I eyed him a little suspiciously; but, for all that, if he hadn’t spoken, I wouldn’t have thought anything about it, for I like cats.  He walked backward and forward on the window sill, his spine and tail nicely arched, and rubbed himself on either window jamb.  I watched him some little time, and finally concluded to make friends with him.  Going over to the window, I put out my hand to stroke his glossy back, when a gust of rain came through the window and the cat vanished into the darkness.

“I went back to the fire, pitying the cat out there in the night’s storm, and was really sorry I had disturbed him.  I didn’t give the matter overmuch attention but sat before the fire, wondering who could have built it and listening to the rain outside, when all of a sudden Mr. Cat walked between my legs, rubbing himself against my boots, purring and singing.  Once or twice I thought of stroking his fur, but checked myself on remembering he had spoken to me on the window sill.  He would walk over and rub himself against the jambs of the fireplace, and then come back and rub himself against my boots friendly like.  I saw him just as clear as I see those pots on the fire or these saddles lying around here.  I was noting every move of his as he meandered around, when presently he cocked up an eye at me and remarked:  ’Old sport, this is a fine fire we have here.’

“I was beginning to feel a little creepy, for I’d seen mad dogs and skunks, and they say a cat gets locoed likewise, and the cuss was talking so cleverly that I began to lose my regard for him.  After a little while I concluded to pet him, for he didn’t seem a bit afraid; but as I put out my hand to catch him, he nimbly hopped into the roaring fire and vanished.  Then I did feel foolish.  I had a good six-shooter, and made up my mind if he showed up again I’d plug him one for luck.  I was growing sleepy, and it was getting late, so I concluded to spread down my saddle blankets and slicker before the fire and go to sleep.  While I was making down my bed, I happened to look towards the fire, when there was my black cat, with not even a hair singed.  I drew my gun quietly and cracked away at him, when he let out the funniest little laugh, saying:  ’You’ve been drinking, Aaron; you’re nervous; you couldn’t hit a flock of barns.’

“I was getting excited by this time, and cut loose on him rapidly, but he dodged every shot, jumping from the hearth to the mantel, from the mantel to an old table, from there to a niche in the wall, and from the niche clear across the room and out of the window.  About then I was some nervous, and after a while lay down before the fire and tried to go to sleep.

“It was a terrible night outside—­one of those nights when you can hear things; and with the vivid imagination I was enjoying then, I was almost afraid to try to sleep.  But just as I was going into a doze, I raised up my head, and there was my cat walking up and down my frame, his back arched and his tail flirting with the slow sinuous movement of a snake.  I reached for my gun, and as it clicked in cocking, he began raking my legs, sharpening his claws and growling like a tiger.  I gave a yell and kicked him off, when he sprang up on the old table and I could see his eyes glaring at me.  I emptied my gun at him a second time, and at every shot he crouched lower and crept forward as if getting ready to spring.  When I had fired the last shot I jumped up and ran out into the rain, and hadn’t gone more than a hundred yards before I fell into a dry wash.  When I crawled out there was that d——­d cat rubbing himself against my boot leg.  I stood breathless for a minute, thinking what next to do, and the cat remarked:  ‘Wasn’t that a peach of a race we just had!’

“I made one or two vicious kicks at him and he again vanished.  Well, fellows, in that dream I walked around that old jacal all night in my shirt sleeves, and it raining pitchforks.  A number of times I peeped in through the window or door, and there sat the cat on the hearth, in full possession of the shack, and me out in the weather.  Once when I looked in he was missing, but while I was watching he sprang through a hole in the roof, alighting in the fire, from which he walked out gingerly, shaking his feet as if he had just been out in the wet.  I shot away every cartridge I had at him, but in the middle of the shooting he would just coil up before the fire and snooze away.

“That night was an eternity of torment to me, and I was relieved when some one knocked on the door, and I awoke to find myself in a good bed and pounding my ear on a goose-hair pillow in a hotel in Oakville.  Why, I wouldn’t have another dream like that for a half interest in the Las Palomas brand.  No, honest, if I thought drinking gave me that hideous dream, here would be one lad ripe for reform.”

“It strikes me,” said Uncle Lance, rising and lifting a pot lid, “that these birds are parboiled by this time.  Bring me a fork, Enrique.  Well, I should say they were.  I hope hell ain’t any hotter than that fire.  Now, Tiburcio, if you have everything ready, we’ll put them in the oven, and bake them a couple of hours.”

Several of us assisted in fixing the fire and properly coaling the ovens.  When this had been attended to, and we had again resumed our easy positions around the fire, Trotter remarked:  “Aaron, you ought to cut drinking out of your amusements; you haven’t the constitution to stand it.  Now with me it’s different.  I can drink a week and never sleep; that’s the kind of a build to have if you expect to travel and meet all comers.  Last year I was working for a Kansas City man on the trail, and after the cattle were delivered about a hundred miles beyond,—­Ellsworth, up in Kansas,—­he sent us home by way of Kansas City.  In fact, that was about the only route we could take.  Well, it was a successful trip, and as this man was plum white, anyhow, he concluded to show us the sights around his burg.  He was interested in a commission firm out at the stockyards, and the night we reached there all the office men, including the old man himself, turned themselves loose to show us a good time.

“We had been drinking alkali water all summer, and along about midnight they began to drop out until there was no one left to face the music except a little cattle salesman and myself.  After all the others quit us, we went into a feed trough on a back street, and had a good supper.  I had been drinking everything like a good fellow, and at several places there was no salt to put in the beer.  The idea struck me that I would buy a sack of salt from this eating ranch and take it with me.  The landlord gave me a funny look, but after some little parley went to the rear and brought out a five-pound sack of table salt.

“It was just what I wanted, and after paying for it the salesman and I started out to make a night of it.  This yard man was a short, fat Dutchman, and we made a team for your whiskers.  I carried the sack of salt under my arm, and the quantity of beer we killed before daylight was a caution.  About daybreak, the salesman wanted me to go to our hotel and go to bed, but as I never drink and sleep at the same time, I declined.  Finally he explained to me that he would have to be at the yards at eight o’clock, and begged me to excuse him.  By this time he was several sheets in the wind, while I could walk a chalk line without a waver.  Somehow we drifted around to the hotel where the outfit were supposed to be stopping, and lined up at the bar for a final drink.  It was just daybreak, and between that Dutch cattle salesman and the barkeeper and myself, it would have taken a bookkeeper to have kept a check on the drinks we consumed—­every one the last.

“Then the Dutchman gave me the slip and was gone, and I wandered into the office of the hotel.  A newsboy sold me a paper, and the next minute a bootblack wanted to give me a shine.  Well, I took a seat for a shine, and for two hours I sat there as full as a tick, and as dignified as a judge on the bench.  All the newsboys and bootblacks caught on, and before any of the outfit showed up that morning to rescue me, I had bought a dozen papers and had my boots shined for the tenth time.  If I’d been foxy enough to have got rid of that sack of salt, no one could have told I was off the reservation; but there it was under my arm.  If ever I make another trip over the trail, and touch at Kansas City returning, I’ll hunt up that cattle salesman, for he’s the only man I ever met that can pace in my class.”

“Did you hear that tree break a few minutes ago?” inquired Mr. Nathan.  “There goes another one.  It hardly looks possible that enough pigeons could settle on a tree to break it down.  Honestly, I’d give a purty to know how many birds are in that roost to-night.  More than there are cattle in Texas, I’ll bet.  Why, Hugh killed, with both barrels, twenty-two at one shot.”

We had brought blankets along, but it was early and no one thought of sleeping for an hour yet.  Mr. Nathan was quite a sportsman, and after he and Uncle Lance had discussed the safest method of hunting javalina, it again devolved on the boys to entertain the party with stories.

“I was working on a ranch once,” said Glenn Gallup, “out on the Concho River.  It was a stag outfit, there being few women then out Concho way.  One day two of the boys were riding in home when an accident occurred.  They had been shooting more or less during the morning, and one of them, named Bill Cook, had carelessly left the hammer of his six-shooter on a cartridge.  As Bill jumped his horse over a dry arroyo, his pistol was thrown from its holster, and, falling on the hard ground, was discharged.  The bullet struck him in the ankle, ranged upward, shattering the large bone in his leg into fragments, and finally lodged in the saddle.

“They were about five miles from camp when the accident happened.  After they realized how bad he was hurt, Bill remounted his horse and rode nearly a mile; but the wound bled so then that the fellow with him insisted on his getting off and lying on the ground while he went into the ranch for a wagon.  Well, it’s to be supposed that he lost no time riding in, and I was sent to San Angelo for a doctor.  It was just noon when I got off.  I had to ride thirty miles.  Talk about your good horses—­I had one that day.  I took a free gait from the start, but the last ten miles was the fastest, for I covered the entire distance in less than three hours.  There was a doctor in the town who’d been on the frontier all of his life, and was used to such calls.  Well, before dark that evening we drove into the ranch.

“They had got the lad into the ranch, had checked the flow of blood and eased the pain by standing on a chair and pouring water on the wound from a height.  But Bill looked pale as a ghost from the loss of blood.  The doctor gave the leg a single look, and, turning to us, said:  ’Boys, she has to come off.’

“The doctor talked to Bill freely and frankly, telling him that it was the only chance for his life.  He readily consented to the operation, and while the doctor was getting him under the influence of opiates we fixed up an operating table.  When all was ready, the doctor took the leg off below the knee, cursing us generally for being so sensitive to cutting and the sight of blood.  There was quite a number of boys at the ranch, but it affected them all alike.  It was interesting to watch him cut and tie arteries and saw the bones, and I think I stood it better than any of them.  When the operation was over, we gave the fellow the best bed the ranch afforded and fixed him up comfortable.  The doctor took the bloody stump and wrapped it up in an old newspaper, saying he would take it home with him.

“After supper the surgeon took a sleep, saying we would start back to town by two o’clock, so as to be there by daylight.  He gave instructions to call him in case Bill awoke, but he hoped the boy would take a good sleep.  As I had left my horse in town, I was expected to go back with him.  Shortly after midnight the fellow awoke, so we aroused the doctor, who reported him doing well.  The old Doc sat by his bed for an hour and told him all kinds of stories.  He had been a surgeon in the Confederate army, and from the drift of his talk you’d think it was impossible to kill a man without cutting off his head.

“‘Now take a young fellow like you,’ said the doctor to his patient, ’if he was all shot to pieces, just so the parts would hang together, I could fix him up and he would get well.  You have no idea, son, how much lead a young man can carry.’  We had coffee and lunch before starting, the doctor promising to send me back at once with necessary medicines.

“We had a very pleasant trip driving back to town that night.  The stories he could tell were like a song with ninety verses, no two alike.  It was hardly daybreak when we reached San Angelo, rustled out a sleepy hostler at the livery stable where the team belonged, and had the horses cared for; and as we left the stable the doctor gave me his instrument case, while he carried the amputated leg in the paper.  We both felt the need of a bracer after our night’s ride, so we looked around to see if any saloons were open.  There was only one that showed any signs of life, and we headed for that.  The doctor was in the lead as we entered, and we both knew the barkeeper well.  This barkeeper was a practical joker himself, and he and the doctor were great hunting companions.  We walked up to the bar together, when the doctor laid the package on the counter and asked:  ‘Is this good for two drinks?’ The barkeeper, with a look of expectation in his face as if the package might contain half a dozen quail or some fresh fish, broke the string and unrolled it.  Without a word he walked straight from behind the bar and out of the house.  If he had been shot himself he couldn’t have looked whiter.

“The doctor went behind the bar and said:  ’Glenn, what are you going to take?’ ‘Let her come straight, doctor,’ was my reply, and we both took the same.  We had the house all to ourselves, and after a second round of drinks took our leave.  As we left by the front door, we saw the barkeeper leaning against a hitching post half a block below.  The doctor called to him as we were leaving:  ’Billy, if the drinks ain’t on you, charge them to me.’”

The moon was just rising, and at Uncle Lance’s suggestion we each carried in a turn of wood.  Piling a portion of it on the fire, the blaze soon lighted up the camp, throwing shafts of light far into the recesses of the woods around us.  “In another hour,” said Uncle Lance, recoaling the oven lids, “that smaller pie will be all ready to serve, but we’ll keep the big one for breakfast.  So, boys, if you want to sit up awhile longer, we’ll have a midnight lunch, and then all turn in for about forty winks.”  As the oven lid was removed from time to time to take note of the baking, savory odors of the pie were wafted to our anxious nostrils.  On the intimation that one oven would be ready in an hour, not a man suggested blankets, and, taking advantage of the lull, Theodore Quayle claimed attention.

“Another fellow and myself,” said Quayle, “were knocking around Fort Worth one time seeing the sights.  We had drunk until it didn’t taste right any longer.  This chum of mine was queer in his drinking.  If he ever got enough once, he didn’t want any more for several days:  you could cure him by offering him plenty.  But with just the right amount on board, he was a hail fellow.  He was a big, ambling, awkward cuss, who could be led into anything on a hint or suggestion.  We had been knocking around the town for a week, until there was nothing new to be seen.

“Several times as we passed a millinery shop, kept by a little blonde, we had seen her standing at the door.  Something—­it might have been his ambling walk, but, anyway, something—­about my chum amused her, for she smiled and watched him as we passed.  He never could walk along beside you for any distance, but would trail behind and look into the windows.  He could not be hurried—­not in town.  I mentioned to him that he had made a mash on the little blond milliner, and he at once insisted that I should show her to him.  We passed down on the opposite side of the street and I pointed out the place.  Then we walked by several times, and finally passed when she was standing in the doorway talking to some customers.  As we came up he straightened himself, caught her eye, and tipped his hat with the politeness of a dancing master.  She blushed to the roots of her hair, and he walked on very erect some little distance, then we turned a corner and held a confab.  He was for playing the whole string, discount or no discount, anyway.

“An excuse to go in was wanting, but we thought we could invent one; however, he needed a drink or two to facilitate his thinking and loosen his tongue.  To get them was easier than the excuse; but with the drinks the motive was born.  ‘You wait here,’ said he to me, ’until I go round to the livery stable and get my coat off my saddle.’  He never encumbered himself with extra clothing.  We had not seen our horses, saddles, or any of our belongings during the week of our visit.  When he returned he inquired, ‘Do I need a shave?’

“‘Oh, no,’ I said, ’you need no shave.  You may have a drink too many, or lack one of having enough.  It’s hard to make a close calculation on you.’

“‘Then I’m all ready,’ said he, ’for I’ve just the right gauge of steam.’  He led the way as we entered.  It was getting dark and the shop was empty of customers.  Where he ever got the manners, heaven only knows.  Once inside the door we halted, and she kept a counter between us as she approached.  She ought to have called the police and had us run in.  She was probably scared, but her voice was fairly steady as she spoke.  ‘Gentlemen, what can I do for you?’

“‘My friend here,’ said he, with a bow and a wave of the hand, ’was unfortunate enough to lose a wager made between us.  The terms of the bet were that the loser was to buy a new hat for one of the dining-room girls at our hotel.  As we are leaving town to-morrow, we have just dropped in to see if you have anything suitable.  We are both totally incompetent to decide on such a delicate matter, but we will trust entirely to your judgment in the selection.’  The milliner was quite collected by this time, as she asked:  ’Any particular style?—­and about what price?’

“‘The price is immaterial,’ said he disdainfully.  ’Any man who will wager on the average weight of a train-load of cattle, his own cattle, mind you, and miss them twenty pounds, ought to pay for his lack of judgment.  Don’t you think so, Miss—­er—­er.  Excuse me for being unable to call your name—­but—­but—­’ ‘De Ment is my name,’ said she with some little embarrassment.

“‘Livingstone is mine,’ said he with a profound bow,’ and this gentleman is Mr. Ochiltree, youngest brother of Congressman Tom.  Now regarding the style, we will depend entirely upon your selection.  But possibly the loser is entitled to some choice in the matter.  Mr. Ochiltree, have you any preference in regard to style?’

“’Why, no, I can generally tell whether a hat becomes a lady or not, but as to selecting one I am at sea.  We had better depend on Miss De Ment’s judgment.  Still, I always like an abundance of flowers on a lady’s hat.  Whenever a girl walks down the street ahead of me, I like to watch the posies, grass, and buds on her hat wave and nod with the motion of her walk.  Miss De Ment, don’t you agree with me that an abundance of flowers becomes a young lady?  And this girl can’t be over twenty.’

“‘Well, now,’ said she, going into matters in earnest, ’I can scarcely advise you.  Is the young lady a brunette or blonde?’

“‘What difference does that make?’ he innocently asked.

“‘Oh,’ said she, smiling, ’we must harmonize colors.  What would suit one complexion would not become another.  What color is her hair?’

“‘Nearly the color of yours,’ said he.  ’Not so heavy and lacks the natural wave which yours has—­but she’s all right.  She can ride a string of my horses until they all have sore backs.  I tell you she is a cute trick.  But, say, Miss De Ment, what do you think of a green hat, broad brimmed, turned up behind and on one side, long black feathers run round and turned up behind, with a blue bird on the other side swooping down like a pigeon hawk, long tail feathers and an arrow in its beak?  That strikes me as about the mustard.  What do you think of that kind of a hat, dear?’

“‘Why, sir, the colors don’t harmonize,’ she replied, blushing.

“’Theodore, do you know anything about this harmony of colors?  Excuse me, madam,—­and I crave your pardon, Mr. Ochiltree, for using your given name,—­but really this harmony of colors is all French to me.’

“’Well, if the young lady is in town, why can’t you have her drop in and make her own selection?’ suggested the blond milliner.  He studied a moment, and then awoke as if from a trance.  ’Just as easy as not; this very evening or in the morning.  Strange we didn’t think of that sooner.  Yes; the landlady of the hotel can join us, and we can count on your assistance in selecting the hat.’  With a number of comments on her attractive place, inquiries regarding trade, and a flattering compliment on having made such a charming acquaintance, we edged towards the door.  ’This evening then, or in the morning at the farthest, you may expect another call, when my friend must pay the penalty of his folly by settling the bill.  Put it on heavy.’  And he gave her a parting wink.

“Together we bowed ourselves out, and once safe in the street he said:  ’Didn’t she help us out of that easy?  If she wasn’t a blonde, I’d go back and buy her two hats for suggesting it as she did.’

“‘Rather good looking too,’ I remarked.

“’Oh, well, that’s a matter of taste.  I like people with red blood in them.  Now if you was to saw her arm off, it wouldn’t bleed; just a little white water might ooze out, possibly.  The best-looking girl I ever saw was down in the lower Rio Grande country, and she was milking a goat.  Theodore, my dear fellow, when I’m led blushingly to the altar, you’ll be proud of my choice.  I’m a judge of beauty.’”

It was after midnight when we disposed of the first oven of pigeon pot-pie, and, wrapping ourselves in blankets, lay down around the fire.  With the first sign of dawn, we were aroused by Mr. Nathan and Uncle Lance to witness the return flight of the birds to their feeding grounds.  Hurrying to the nearest opening, we saw the immense flight of pigeons blackening the sky overhead.  Stiffened by their night’s rest, they flew low; but the beauty and immensity of the flight overawed us, and we stood in mute admiration, no one firing a shot.  For fully a half-hour the flight continued, ending in a few scattering birds.