The Period
It was the best of times, it was the
worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the
age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it
was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of
Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring
of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything
before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going
direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other
way—in short, the period was so far like
the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities
insisted on its being received, for good or for evil,
in the superlative degree of comparison only.
There were a king with a large jaw
and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England;
there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with
a fair face, on the throne of France. In both
countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords
of the State preserves of loaves and fishes, that
things in general were settled for ever.
It was the year of Our Lord one thousand
seven hundred and seventy-five. Spiritual revelations
were conceded to England at that favoured period,
as at this. Mrs. Southcott had recently attained
her five-and-twentieth blessed birthday, of whom a
prophetic private in the Life Guards had heralded the
sublime appearance by announcing that arrangements
were made for the swallowing up of London and Westminster.
Even the Cock-lane ghost had been laid only a round
dozen of years, after rapping out its messages, as
the spirits of this very year last past (supernaturally
deficient in originality) rapped out theirs.
Mere messages in the earthly order of events had lately
come to the English Crown and People, from a congress
of British subjects in America: which, strange
to relate, have proved more important to the human
race than any communications yet received through
any of the chickens of the Cock-lane brood.
France, less favoured on the whole
as to matters spiritual than her sister of the shield
and trident, rolled with exceeding smoothness down
hill, making paper money and spending it. Under
the guidance of her Christian pastors, she entertained
herself, besides, with such humane achievements as
sentencing a youth to have his hands cut off, his
tongue torn out with pincers, and his body burned
alive, because he had not kneeled down in the rain
to do honour to a dirty procession of monks which
passed within his view, at a distance of some fifty
or sixty yards. It is likely enough that, rooted
in the woods of France and Norway, there were growing
trees, when that sufferer was put to death, already
marked by the Woodman, Fate, to come down and be sawn
into boards, to make a certain movable framework with
a sack and a knife in it, terrible in history.
It is likely enough that in the rough outhouses of
some tillers of the heavy lands adjacent to Paris,
there were sheltered from the weather that very day,
rude carts, bespattered with rustic mire, snuffed
about by pigs, and roosted in by poultry, which the
Farmer, Death, had already set apart to be his tumbrils
of the Revolution. But that Woodman and that
Farmer, though they work unceasingly, work silently,
and no one heard them as they went about with muffled
tread: the rather, forasmuch as to entertain
any suspicion that they were awake, was to be atheistical
and traitorous.
In England, there was scarcely an
amount of order and protection to justify much national
boasting. Daring burglaries by armed men, and
highway robberies, took place in the capital itself
every night; families were publicly cautioned not to
go out of town without removing their furniture to
upholsterers’ warehouses for security; the highwayman
in the dark was a City tradesman in the light, and,
being recognised and challenged by his fellow-tradesman
whom he stopped in his character of “the Captain,”
gallantly shot him through the head and rode away;
the mail was waylaid by seven robbers, and the guard
shot three dead, and then got shot dead himself by
the other four, “in consequence of the failure
of his ammunition:” after which the mail
was robbed in peace; that magnificent potentate, the
Lord Mayor of London, was made to stand and deliver
on Turnham Green, by one highwayman, who despoiled
the illustrious creature in sight of all his retinue;
prisoners in London gaols fought battles with their
turnkeys, and the majesty of the law fired blunderbusses
in among them, loaded with rounds of shot and ball;
thieves snipped off diamond crosses from the necks
of noble lords at Court drawing-rooms; musketeers
went into St. Giles’s, to search for contraband
goods, and the mob fired on the musketeers, and the
musketeers fired on the mob, and nobody thought any
of these occurrences much out of the common way.
In the midst of them, the hangman, ever busy and
ever worse than useless, was in constant requisition;
now, stringing up long rows of miscellaneous criminals;
now, hanging a housebreaker on Saturday who had been
taken on Tuesday; now, burning people in the hand at
Newgate by the dozen, and now burning pamphlets at
the door of Westminster Hall; to-day, taking the life
of an atrocious murderer, and to-morrow of a wretched
pilferer who had robbed a farmer’s boy of sixpence.
All these things, and a thousand like
them, came to pass in and close upon the dear old
year one thousand seven hundred and seventy-five.
Environed by them, while the Woodman and the Farmer
worked unheeded, those two of the large jaws, and those
other two of the plain and the fair faces, trod with
stir enough, and carried their divine rights with
a high hand. Thus did the year one thousand
seven hundred and seventy-five conduct their Greatnesses,
and myriads of small creatures—the creatures
of this chronicle among the rest—along
the roads that lay before them.