“I’ll not be made a soft
and dull-eyed fool To shake the head, relent, and
sigh, and yield.” – “Merchant of Venice.”
The extraordinary failure of Miss
Andrews, cast for a star role in Stuart Harley’s
tale of Love and Villany, to appear upon the stage
selected by the author for her debut, must be explained.
As I have already stated at the close of the preceding
chapter, it was entirely Harley’s own fault.
He had studied Miss Andrews too superficially to
grasp thoroughly the more refined subtleties of her
nature, and he found out, at a moment when it was
too late to correct his error, that she was not a
woman to be slighted in respect to the conventionalities
of polite life, however trifling to a man of Harley’s
stamp these might seem to be. She was a stickler
for form; and when she was summoned to go on board
of an ocean steamship there to take part in a romance
for the mere aggrandizement of a young author, she
intended that he should not ignore the proprieties,
even if in a sense the proprieties to which she referred
did antedate the period at which his story was to
open. She was willing to appear, but it seemed
to her that Stuart Harley ought to see to it that she
was escorted to the scene of action with the ceremony
due to one of her position.
“What does he take me for?”
she asked of Mrs. Corwin, indignantly, on the eve
of her departure. “Am I a mere marionette,
to obey his slightest behest, and at a moment’s
notice? Am I to dance when Stuart Harley pulls
the string?”
“Not at all, my dear Marguerite,”
said Mrs. Corwin, soothingly. “If he thought
that, he would not have selected you for his story.
I think you ought to feel highly complimented that
Mr. Harley should choose you for one of his books,
and for such a conspicuous part, too. Look at
me; do I complain? Am I holding out for the
proprieties? And yet what is my situation?
I’m simply dragged in by the hair; and my poor
children, instead of having a nice, noisy Fourth of
July at the sea-shore, must needs be put upon a great
floating caravansary, to suffer seasickness and the
other discomforts of ocean travel, so as to introduce
a little juvenile fun into this great work of Mr.
Harley’s—and yet I bow my head meekly
and go. Why? Because I feel that, inconspicuous
though I shall be, nevertheless I am highly honored
that Mr. Harley should select me from among many for
the uses of his gifted pen.”
“You are prepared, then,”
retorted Marguerite, “to place yourself unreservedly
in Mr. Harley’s hands? Shall you flirt
with the captain if he thinks your doing so will add
to the humorous or dramatic interest of his story?
Will you permit your children to make impertinent
remarks to every one aboard ship; to pick up sailors’
slang and use it at the dining-table—in
short, to make themselves obnoxiously clever at all
times, in order that Mr. Harley’s critics may
say that his book fairly scintillates with wit, and
gives gratifying evidence that ‘the rising young
author’ has made a deep and careful analysis
of the juvenile heart?”
“Mr. Harley is too much of a
gentleman, Marguerite, to place me and my children
in a false or ridiculous light,” returned Mrs.
Corwin, severely. “And even if he were
not a gentleman, he is too true a realist to make
me do anything which in the nature of things I should
not do—which disposes of your entirely uncalled-for
remark about the captain and myself. As for
the children, Tommie would not repeat sailors’
lingo at the table under any circumstances, and Jennie
will not make herself obnoxiously clever at any time,
because she has been brought up too carefully to fail
to respect her elders. Both she and Tommie understand
themselves thoroughly; and when Mr. Harley understands
them, which he cannot fail to do after a short acquaintance,
he will draw them as they are; and if previous to his
complete understanding of their peculiarities he introduces
into his story something foreign to their natures
and obnoxious to me, their mother, I have no doubt
he will correct his error when he comes to read the
proofs of his story and sees his mistake.”
“You have great confidence in
Stuart Harley,” retorted Miss Andrews, gazing
out of the window with a pensive cast of countenance.
“Haven’t you?” asked Mrs. Corwin,
quickly.
“As a man, yes,” returned
Marguerite. “As an author, however, I
think he is open to criticism. He is not always
true to the real. Look at Lord Barncastle, in
his study of English manners! Barncastle, as
he drew him, was nothing but a New York society man
with a title, living in England. That is to say,
he talked like an American, thought like one—there
was no point of difference between them.”
“And why should there be?”
asked Mrs. Corwin. “If a New York society
man is generally a weak imitation of an English peer—and
no one has ever denied that such is the case—why
shouldn’t an English peer be represented as
a sort of intensified New York society man?”
“Besides,” said Miss Andrews,
ignoring Mrs. Corwin’s point, “I don’t
care to be presented too really to the reading public,
especially on board a ship. I never yet knew
a woman who looked well the second day out, and if
I were to be presented as I always am the second day
out, I should die of mortification. My hair goes
out of curl, my face is the color of an unripe peach,
and if I do go up on deck it is because I am so thoroughly
miserable that I do not care who sees me or what the
world thinks of me. I think it is very inconsiderate
of Mr. Harley to open his story on an ocean steamer;
and, what is more, I don’t like the American
line. Too many Americans of the brass-band type
travel on it. Stuart Harley said so himself in
his last book of foreign travel; but he sends me out
on it just the same, and expects me to be satisfied.
Perhaps he thinks I like that sort of American.
If he does, he’s got more imagination than he
ever showed in his books.”
“You must get to the other side
in some way,” said Mrs. Corwin. “It
is at Venice that the trouble with Balderstone is to
come, and that Osborne topples him over into the Grand
Canal, and rescues you from his baleful influence.”
“Humph!” said Marguerite,
with a scornful shrug of her shoulders. “Robert
Osborne! A likely sort of person to rescue me
from anything! He wouldn’t have nerve enough
to rescue me from a grasshopper if he were armed to
the teeth. Furthermore, I shall not go to Venice
in August. It’s bad enough in April—damp
and hot—the home of malaria—an asylum
for artistic temperaments; and insecty. No, my
dear aunt, even if I overlook everything else to please
Mr. Harley, he’ll have to modify the Venetian
part of that story, for I am determined that no pen
of his shall force me into Italy at this season.
I wouldn’t go there to please Shakespeare,
much less Stuart Harley. Let the affair come
off at Interlaken, if it is to come off at all, which
I doubt.”
“There is no Grand Canal at
Interlaken,” said Mrs. Corwin, sagely; for she
had been an omnivorous reader of Baedeker since she
had learned the part she was to play in Harley’s
book, and was therefore well up in geography.
“No; but there’s the Jungfrau.
Osborne can push Balderstone down the side of an
Alp and kill him,” returned Miss Andrews, viciously.
“Why, Marguerite! How
can you talk so? Mr. Harley doesn’t wish
to have Balderstone killed,” cried Mrs. Corwin,
aghast. “If Osborne killed Balderstone
he’d be a murderer, and they’d execute
him.”
“Which is exactly what I want,”
said Miss Andrews, firmly. “If he lives,
it pleases the omnipotent Mr. Harley that I shall marry
him, and I positively—Well, just you wait
and see.”
There was silence for some minutes.
“Then I suppose you will decline
to go abroad altogether?” asked Mrs. Corwin
after a while; “and Mr. Harley will be forced
to get some one else; and I—I shall be
deprived of a pleasant tour—because I’m
only to be one of the party because I’m your
aunt.”
Mrs. Corwin’s lip quivered a
little as she spoke. She had anticipated much
pleasure from her trip.
“No, I shall not decline to
go,” Miss Andrews replied. “I expect
to go, but it is entirely on your account. I
must say, however, that Stuart Harley will find out,
to his sorrow, that I am not a doll, to be worked
with a string. I shall give him a scare at the
outset which will show him that I know the rights
of a heroine, and that he must respect them.
For instance, he cannot ignore my comfort. Do
you suppose that because his story is to open with
my beautiful self on board that ship, I’m to
be there without his making any effort to get me there?
Not I! You and the children and Osborne and
Balderstone may go down any way you please. You
may go on the elevated railroad or on foot.
You may go on the horse-cars, or you may go on the
luggage-van. It is immaterial to me what you
do; but when it comes to myself, Stuart Harley must
provide a carriage, or I miss the boat. I don’t
wish to involve you in this. You want to go,
and are willing to go in his way, which simply means
turning up at the right moment, with no trouble to
him. From your point of view it is all right.
You are anxious to go abroad, and are grateful to
Mr. Harley for letting you go. For me, however,
he must do differently. I have no particular
desire to leave America, and if I go at all it is
as a favor to him, and he must act accordingly.
It is a case of carriage or no heroine. If
I’m left behind, you and the rest can go along
without me. I shall do very well, and it will
be Mr. Harley’s own fault. It may hurt
his story somewhat, but that is no concern of mine.”
“I suppose the reason why he
doesn’t send a carriage is that that part of
your life doesn’t appear in his story,”
explained Mrs. Corwin.
“That doesn’t affect the
point that he ought to send one,” said Marguerite.
“He needn’t write up the episode of the
ride to the pier unless he wants to, but the fact
remains that it’s his duty to see me safely
on board from my home, and that he shall do, or I fail
him at the moment he needs me. If he is selfish
enough to overlook the matter, he must suffer the
consequences.”
All of which, I think, was very reasonable.
No heroine likes to feel that she is called into
being merely to provide copy for the person who is
narrating her story; and to be impressed with the idea
that the moment she is off the stage she must shift
entirely for herself is too humiliating to be compatible
with true heroism.
Now it so happened that in his meditations
upon that opening chapter the scene of which was to
be placed on board of the New York, Stuart realized
that his story of Miss Andrews’s character had
indeed been too superficial. He found that out
at the moment he sat down to describe her arrival
at the pier, as it would be in all likelihood.
What would she say the moment she—the moment
she what?—the moment she “emerged
from the perilous stream of vehicles which crowd West
Street from morning until night,” or the moment
“she stepped out of the cab as it drew up at
the foot of the gangway”? That was the
point. How would she arrive—on foot
or in a cab? Which way would she come, and at
what time must she start from home? Should she
come alone, or should Mrs. Corwin and the twins come
with her?—or would a woman of her stamp
not be likely to have an intimate friend to accompany
her to the steamer? Stuart was a rapid thinker,
and as he pondered over these problems it did not
take him long to reach the conclusion that a cab was
necessary for Miss Andrews; and that Mrs. Corwin and
the twins, with Osborne and Balderstone, might get
aboard in their own way. He also decided that
it would be an excellent plan to have Marguerite’s
old school friend Mrs. Willard accompany her to the
steamer. By an equally rapid bit of thought he
concluded that if the cab started from the Andrews
apartment at Fifty-ninth Street and Central Park at
9.30 A.M., the trip to the pier could easily be made
in an hour, which would be in ample time, since the
sailing hour of the New York was eleven. Unfortunately
Harley, in his hurry, forgot two or three incidents
of departures generally, especially departures of
women, which he should not have overlooked. It
was careless of him to forget that a woman about to
travel abroad wants to make herself as stunning as
she possibly can on the day of departure, so that
the impression she will make at the start shall be
strong enough to carry her through the dowdy stage
which comes, as Marguerite had intimated, on the second
and third days at sea; and to expect a woman like
Marguerite Andrews, who really had no responsibilities
to call her up at an early hour, to be ready at 9.30
sharp, was a fatal error, unless he provided his cab
with an unusually fast horse, or a pair of horses,
both of which Harley neglected to do. Miss Andrews
was twenty minutes late at starting the first time,
and just a half-hour behind schedule time when, having
rushed back to her rooms for her gloves, which in
the excitement of the moment she had forgotten, she
started finally for the ship. Even then all would
have been well had the unfortunate author not overlooked
one other vital point. Instead of sending the
cab straight down Fifth Avenue, to Broadway, to Barclay
Street, he sent it down Sixth, and thence through
Greenwich Village, emerging at West Street at its junction
with Christopher, and then the inevitable happened.
The cab was BLOCKED!
“I had no idea it was so far,”
said Marguerite, looking out of the cab window at
the crowded and dirty thoroughfare.
“It’s a good mile farther
yet,” replied Mrs. Willard. “I shall
have just that much more of your society.”
“It looks to me,” said
Marguerite, with a short laugh, as the cab came suddenly
to a halt -“it looks to me as if you were likely to
have more than that of it; for we are in an apparently
inextricable, immovable mixture of trucks, horse-cars,
and incompetent policemen, and nothing short of a
miracle will get us a mile farther along in twenty
minutes.”
“I do believe you are right,”
said Mrs. Willard, looking at her watch anxiously.
“What will you do if you miss the steamer?”
“Escape a horrid fate,” laughed Marguerite,
gayly.
“Poor Mr. Harley—why,
it will upset his whole story,” said Mrs. Willard.
“And save his reputation,”
said Marguerite. “It wouldn’t have
been real, that story,” she added. “In
the first place, Balderstone couldn’t write
a story that would fascinate me; he could never acquire
a baleful influence over me; and, finally, I never
should marry Robert Osborne under any circumstances.
He’s not at all the style of man I admire.
I’m willing to go along and let Mr. Harley
try to work it out his way, but he will give it up
as a bad idea before long—if I catch the
steamer; and if I don’t, then he’ll have
to modify the story. That modified, I’m
willing to be his heroine.”
“But your aunt and the twins—they
must be aboard by this time. They will be worried
to death about you,” suggested Mrs. Willard.
“For a few moments—but
Aunt Emma wanted to go, and she and the rest of them
will have a good time, I’ve no doubt,”
replied Miss Andrews, calmly; and here Stuart Harley’s
heroine actually chuckled. “And maybe
Mr. Harley can make a match between Aunt Emma and Osborne,
which will suit the publishers and please the American
girl,” she said, gleefully. “I almost
hope we do miss it.”
And miss it they did, as I have already
told you, by three minutes. As the cab entered
the broad pier, the great steamer moved slowly but
surely out into the stream, and Mrs. Willard and Mr.
Harley’s heroine were just in time to see Mrs.
Corwin wildly waving her parasol at the captain on
the bridge, beseeching him in agonized tones to go
back just for a moment, while two separate and distinct
twins, one male and one female, peered over the rail,
weeping bitterly. Incidentally mention may be
made of two young men, Balderstone and Osborne, who
sat chatting gayly together in the smoking-room.
“Well, Osborne,” said
one, lighting his cigar, “she didn’t arrive.”
“No,” smiled the other.
“Fact is, Balderstone, I’m glad of it.
She’s too snippy for me, and I’m afraid
I should have quarrelled with you about her in a half-hearted,
unconvincing manner.”
“I’m afraid I’d
have been the same,” rejoined Balderstone; “for,
between us, there’s a pretty little brunette
from Chicago up on deck, and Marguerite Andrews would
have got little attention from me while she was about,
unless Harley violently outraged my feelings and his
own convictions.”
And so the New York sailed out to
sea, and Marguerite Andrews watched her from the pier
until she had faded from view.
As for Stuart Harley, the author,
he sat in his study, wringing his hands and cursing
his carelessness.
“I’ll have to modify the
whole story now,” he said, impatiently, “since
it is out of my power to bring the New York back into
port, with my hero, villain, chaperon, and twins;
but whenever or wherever the new story may be laid,
Marguerite Andrews shall be the heroine—
she interests me. Meantime let Mrs. Willard chaperon
her.”
And closing his manuscript book with
a bang, Harley lit a cigarette, put on his hat, and
went to the club.