“TAKE ME IN TO DIE!”
After this, the pleasant months went
by with nothing but Andrew’s and Jamie’s
visits to mark them, and, every now and then, a sough
of sorrow from the big house of Braelands. And
now that her own girl was so happily settled, Janet
began to have a longing anxiety about poor Sophy.
She heard all kinds of evil reports concerning the
relations between her and her husband, and twice during
the winter there was a rumour, hardly hushed up, of
a separation between them.
Isobel Murray, to whom at first Sophy
turned in her sorrow, had not responded to any later
confidences. “My man told me to neither
listen nor speak against Archie Braelands,”
she said to Janet. “We have our own boat
to guide, and Sophy cannot be a friend to us; while
it is very sure Braelands can be an enemy beyond our
‘don’t care.’ Six little lads
and lassies made folk mind their own business.
And I’m no very sure but what Sophy’s
troubles are Sophy’s own making. At any
rate, she isn’t faultless; you be to have both
flint and stone to strike fire.”
“I’ll not hear you say
the like of that, Isobel. Sophy may be misguided
and unwise, but there is not a wrong thought in her
heart. The bit vanity of the young thing was
her only fault, and I’m thinking she has paid
sorely for it.”
All winter, such vague and miserable
bits of gossip found their way into the fishing village,
and one morning in the following spring, Janet met
a young girl who frequently went to Braelands House
with fresh fish. She was then on her way home
from such an errand, and Janet fancied there was a
look of unusual emotion on her broad, stolid face.
“Maggie-Ann,” she said,
stopping her, “where have you been this morning?”
“Up to Braelands.”
“And what did you see or hear tell of?”
“I saw nothing; but I heard more than I liked
to hear.”
“About Mistress Braelands?
You know, Maggie-Ann, that she is my own flesh and
blood, and I be to feel her wrongs my wrongs.”
“Surely, Janet There had been
a big stir, and you could feel it in the very air
of the house. The servants were feared to speak
or to step, and when the door opened, the sound of
angry words and of somebody crying was plain to be
heard. Jean Craigie, the cook, told me it was
about the Dower House. The mistress wants to get
away from her mother-in-law, and she had been begging
her husband to go and live in the Dower House with
her, since Madame would not leave them their own place.”
“She is right,” answered
Janet boldly. “I wouldn’t live with
that fine old sinner myself, and I think there are
few women in Fife I couldn’t talk back to if
I wanted. Sophy ought never to have bided with
her for a day. They have no business under the
same roof. A baby and a popish inquisitor would
be as well matched.”
It had, indeed, come at last to Sophy’s
positive refusal to live longer with her mother-in-law.
In a hundred ways the young wife felt her inability
to cope with a woman so wise and so wicked, and she
had finally begun to entreat Archie to take her away
from Braelands. The man was in a strait which
could end only in anger. He was completely under
his mother’s influence, while Sophy’s influence
had been gradually weakened by Madame’s innuendos
and complaints, her pity for Archie, and her tattle
of visitors. These things were bad enough; but
Sophy’s worst failures came from within herself.
She had been snubbed and laughed at, scolded and corrected,
until she had lost all spontaneity and all the grace
and charm of her natural manner. This condition
would not have been so readily brought about, had she
retained her health and her flower-like beauty.
But after the birth of her child she faded slowly
away. She had not the strength for a constant,
never-resting assertion of her rights, and nothing
less would have availed her; nor had she the metal
brightness to expose or circumvent the false and foolish
positions in which Madame habitually placed her.
Little by little, the facts of the
unhappy case leaked out, and were warmly commented
on by the fisher-families with whom Sophy was connected
either by blood or friendship. Her father’s
shipmates were many of them living and she had cousins
of every degree among the nets—men and
women who did not forget the motherless, fatherless
lassie who had played with their own children.
These people made Archie feel their antagonism.
They would neither take his money, nor give him their
votes, nor lift their bonnets to his greeting.
And though such honest, primitive feelings were proper
enough, they did not help Sophy. On the contrary,
they strengthened Madame’s continual assertion
that her son’s marriage had ruined his public
career and political prospects. Still there is
nothing more wonderful than the tugs and twists the
marriage tie will bear. There were still days
in which Archie—either from love, or pity,
or contradiction, or perhaps from a sense of simple
justice—took his wife’s part so positively
that Madame must have been discouraged if she had
been a less understanding woman. As it was, she
only smiled at such fitful affection, and laid her
plans a little more carefully. And as the devil
strengthens the hands of those who do his work, Madame
received a potent reinforcement in the return home
of her nearest neighbour, Miss Marion Glamis.
As a girl, she had been Archie’s friend and
playmate; then she had been sent to Paris for her
education, and afterwards travelled extensively with
her father who was a man of very comfortable fortune.
Marion herself had a private income, and Madame had
been accustomed to believe that when Archie married,
he would choose Marion Glamis for his wife.
She was a tall, high-coloured, rather
mannish-looking girl, handsome in form, witty in speech,
and disposed towards field sports of every kind.
She disliked Sophy on sight, and Madame perceived it,
and easily worked on the girl’s worst feelings.
Besides, Marion had no lover at the time, and she
had come home with the idea of Archie Braelands tilling
such imagination as she possessed. To find herself
supplanted by a girl of low birth, “without
a single advantage” as she said frankly to Archie’s
mother, provoked and humiliated her. “She
has not beauty, nor grace, nor wit, nor money, nor
any earthly thing to recommend her to Archie’s
notice. Was the man under a spell?” she
asked.
“Indeed she had a kind of beauty
and grace when Archie married her,” answered
Madame; “I must admit that. But bringing
her to Braelands was like transplanting a hedge flower
into a hot-house. She has just wilted ever since.”
“Has she been noticed by Archie’s friends
at all?”
“I have taken good care she
did not see much of Archie’s friends, and her
ill health has been a splendid excuse for her seclusion.
Yet it was strange how much the few people she met
admired her. Lady Blair goes into italics every
time she comes here about ‘The Beauty’,
and the Bells, and Curries, and Cupars, have done
their best to get her to visit them. I knew better
than permit such folly. She would have told all
sorts of things, and raised the country-side against
me; though, really, no one will ever know what I have
gone through in my efforts to lick the cub into shape!”
Marion laughed, and, Archie coming
in at that moment, she launched all her high spirits
and catches and witticisms at him. Her brilliancy
and colour and style were very effective, and there
was a sentimental remembrance for the foundation of
a flirtation which Marion very cleverly took advantage
of, and which Archie was not inclined to deny.
His life was monotonous, he was ennuyé, and this bold,
bright incarnation, with her half disguised admiration
for himself, was an irresistible new interest.
So their intimacy soon became frequent
and friendly. There were horseback rides together
in the mornings, sails in the afternoons, and duets
on the piano in the evenings. Then her Parisian
toilets made poor Sophy’s Largo dresses look
funnily dowdy, and her sharp questions and affected
ignorances of Sophy’s meanings and answers were
cleverly aided by Madame’s cold silences, lifted
brows, and hopeless acceptance of such an outside
barbarian. Long before a dinner was over, Sophy
had been driven into silence, and it was perhaps impossible
for her to avoid an air of offence and injury, so
that Marion had the charming in her own hands.
After dinner, Admiral Glamis and Madame usually played
a game of chess, and Archie sang or played duets with
Marion, while Sophy, sitting sadly unnoticed and unemployed,
watched her husband give to his companion such smiles
and careful attentions as he had used to win her own
heart.
What regrets and fears and feelings
of wrong troubled her heart during these unhappy summer
evenings, God only knew. Sometimes her presence
seemed to be intolerable to Madame, who would turn
to her and say sharply: “You are worn out,
Sophy, and it is hardly fair to impose your weariness
and low spirits on us. Had you not better go to
your room?” Occasionally, Sophy refused to notice
this covert order, and she fancied that there was
generally a passing expression of pleasure on her
husband’s face at her rebellion. More frequently,
she was glad to escape the slow, long torture, and
she would rise, and go through the formality of shaking
hands with each person and bidding each “good-night”
ere she left the room. “Fisher manners,”
Madame would whisper impatiently to Marion. “I
cannot teach her a decent effacement of her personality.”
For this little ceremony always ended in Archie’s
escorting her upstairs, and so far he had never neglected
this formal deference due his wife. Sometimes
too he came back from the duty very distrait and unhappy-looking,
a circumstance always noted by Madame with anger and
scorn.
To such a situation, any tragedy was
a possible culmination, and day by day there was a
more reckless abuse of its opportunities. Madame,
when alone with Sophy, did not now scruple to regret
openly the fact that Marion was not her daughter-in-law,
and if Marion happened to be present, she gave way
to her disappointment in such ejaculations as—
“Oh! Marion Glamis, why
did you stay away so long? Why did you not come
home before Archie’s life was ruined?”
And the girl would sigh and answer: “Is
not my life ruined also? Could any one have imagined
Archie Braelands would have an attack of insanity?”
Then Sophy, feeling her impotence between the tongues
of her two enemies, would rise and go away, more or
less angrily or sadly, followed through the hall and
half-way upstairs by the snickering, confidential laughter
of their common ridicule.
At the latter end of June, Admiral
Glamis proposed an expedition to Norway. They
were to hire a yacht, select a merry party, and spend
July and August sailing and fishing in the cool fiords
of that picturesque land. Archie took charge
of all the arrangements. He secured a yacht,
and posted a notice in the Public House of Pittendurie
for men to sail her. He had no doubt of any number
of applications; for the work was light and pleasant,
and much better paid than any fishing-job. But
not a man presented himself, and not even when Archie
sought out the best sailors and those accustomed to
the cross seas between Scotland and Norway, could
he induce any one to take charge of the yacht and man
her. The Admiral’s astonishment at Archie’s
lack of influence among his own neighbours and tenants
was not very pleasant to bear, and Marion openly said:—
“They are making cause with
your wife, Archie, against you. They imagine
themselves very loyal and unselfish. Fools! a
few extra sovereigns would be much better.”
“But why make cause for my wife
against me, Marion?” asked Archie.
“You know best; ask Madame,
she is my authority,” and she shrugged her shoulders
and went laughing from his side.
Nothing in all his married life had
so annoyed Archie as this dour displeasure of men
who had always before been glad to serve him.
Madame was indignant, sorrowful, anxious, everything
else that could further irritate her angry son; and
poor Sophy might well have prayed in those days “deliver
me from my friends!” But at length the yacht
was ready for sea, and Archie ran upstairs in the
middle of one hot afternoon to bid his wife “goodbye!”
She was resting on her bed, and he
never forgot the eager, wistful, longing look of the
wasted white face on the white pillow. He told
her to take care of herself for his sake. He
told her not to let any one worry or annoy her.
He kissed her tenderly, and then, after he had closed
the door, he came back and kissed her again; and there
were days coming in which it was some comfort to him
to remember this trifling kindness.
“You will not forget me, Archie?” she
asked sadly.
“I will not, sweetheart,” he answered.
“You will write me a letter when you can, dear?”
“I will be sure to do so.”
“You—you—you will love
me best of all?”
“How can I help it? Don’t cry now.
Send me away with a smile.”
“Yes, dear. I will try and be happy, and
try and get well.”
“I am sorry you cannot go with us, Sophy.”
“I am sorry too, Archie; but
I could not bear the knocking about, and the noise
and bustle, and the merry-making. I should only
spoil your pleasure. I wouldn’t like to
do that, dear. Good-bye, and good-bye.”
For a few minutes he was very miserable.
A sense of shame came over him. He felt that
he was unkind, selfish, and quite unworthy of the
tender love given him. But in half an hour he
was out at sea, Marion was at his side, the Admiral
was consulting him about the cooling of the dinner
wines, the skipper was promising them a lively sail
with a fair wind—and the white, loving
face went out of his memory, and out of his consideration.
Yet while he was sipping wine and
singing songs with Marion Glamis, and looking with
admiration into her rosy, glowing face, Sophy was
suffering all the slings and arrows of Madame’s
outrageous hatred. She complained all dinner-time,
even while the servants were present, of the deprivation
she had to endure for Sophy’s sake. The
fact was she had not been invited to join the yachting-party,
two very desirable ladies having refused to spend
two months in her society. But she ignored this
fact, and insisted on the fiction that she had been
compelled to remain at home to look after Sophy.
“I wish you had gone! Oh,
I wish you had gone and left me in peace!” cried
the poor wife at last in a passion. “I could
have been happy if I had been left to myself.”
“And your low relations!
You have made mischief enough with them for Archie,
poor fellow! Don’t tell me that you make
no complaints. The shameful behaviour of those
vulgar fishermen, refusing to sail a yacht for Braelands,
is proof positive of your underhand ways.”
“My relations are not low.
They would scorn to do the low, cruel, wicked things
some people who call themselves ‘high born’
do all the time. But low or high, they are mine,
and while Archie is away, I intend to see them as
often as I can.”
This little bit of rebellion was the
one thing in which she could show herself Mistress
of Braelands; for she knew that she could rely on
Thomas to bring the carriage to her order. So
the next morning she went very early to call on Griselda
Kilgour. Griselda had not seen her niece for
some time, and she was shocked at the change in her
appearance, indeed, she could hardly refrain the exclamations
of pity and fear that flew to her lips.
“Send the carriage to the Queens
Arms,” she said, “and stay with me
all day, Sophy, my dear.”
“Very well, Aunt, I am tired
enough. Let me lie down on the sofa, and take
off my bonnet and cloak. My clothes are just a
weight and a weariness.”
“Aren’t you well, dearie?”
“I must be sick someway, I think.
I can’t sleep, and I can’t eat; and I
am that weak I haven’t the strength or spirit
to say a word back to Madame, however ill her words
are to me.”
“I heard that Braelands had gone away?”
“Aye, for two months.”
“With the Glamis crowd?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you go too?”
“I couldn’t thole the sail, nor the company.”
“Do you like Miss Glamis?”
“I’m feared I hate her.
Oh! Aunt, she makes love to Archie before my
very eyes, and Madame tells me morning, noon, and night,
that she was his first love and ought to have married
him.”
“I wouldn’t stand the
like of that. But Archie is not changed to you,
dearie?”
“I cannot say he is; but what
man can be aye with a fond woman, bright and bonnie,
and not think of her as he shouldn’t think?
I’m not blaming Archie much. It is Madame
and Miss Glamis, and above all my own shortcomings.
I can’t talk, I can’t dress, I can’t
walk, nor in any way act, as that set of women do.
I am like a fish out of its element. It is bonnie
enough in the water; but it only flops and dies if
you take it out of the water and put it on the dry
land. I wish I had never seen Archie Braelands!
If I hadn’t, I would have married Andrew Binnie,
and been happy and well enough.”
“You were hearing that he is
now Captain Binnie of the Red-White Fleet?”
“Aye, I heard. Madame was
reading about it in the Largo paper. Andrew is
a good man, Aunt. I am glad of his good luck.”
“Christina is well married too.
You were hearing of that?”
“Aye; but tell me all about it.”
So Griselda entered into a narration
which lasted until Sophy slipped into a deep slumber.
And whether it was simply the slumber of utter exhaustion,
or whether it was the sweet oblivion which results
from a sense of peace long denied, or perhaps the
union of both these conditions, the result was that
she lay wrapped in an almost lethargic sleep for many
hours. Twice Thomas came with the carriage, and
twice Griselda sent him away. And the man shook
his head sadly and said:—
“Let her alone; I wouldn’t
be the one to wake her up for all my place is worth.
It may be a health sleep.”
“Aye, it may be,” answered
Griselda, “but I have heard old folk say that
such black, deep sleep is sent to fit the soul for
some calamity lying in wait for it. It won’t
be lucky to wake her anyway.”
“No, and I am thinking nothing
worse can come to the little mistress than the sorrow
she is tholing now. I’ll be back in an hour,
Miss Kilgour.”
Thus it happened that it was late
in the afternoon when Sophy returned to her home,
and her rest had so refreshed her that she was more
than usually able to hold her own with Madame.
Many unpardonable words were said on both sides; and
the quarrel, thus early inaugurated, raged from day
to-day, either in open recrimination, or in a still
more distressing interference with all Sophy’s
personal desires and occupations. The servants
were, in a measure, compelled to take part in the
unnatural quarrel; and before three weeks were over,
Sophy’s condition was one of such abnormal excitement
that she was hardly any longer accountable for her
actions. The final blow was struck while she
was so little able to bear it. A letter from Archie,
posted in Christiania and addressed to his wife, came
one morning. As Sophy was never able to come
down to breakfast, Madame at once appropriated the
letter. When she had read it and finished her
breakfast, she went to Sophy’s room.
“I have had a letter from Archie,” she
said.
“Was there none for me?”
“No; but I thought you might
like to know that Archie says he never was so happy
in all his life. The Admiral, and Marion, and
he, are in Christiania for a week or two, and enjoying
themselves every minute of the time. Dear Marion!
She knows how to make Archie happy. It
is a great shame I could not be with them.”
“Is there any message for me?”
“Not a word. I suppose
Archie knew I should tell you all that it was necessary
for you to know.”
“Please go away; I want to go to sleep.”
“You want to cry. You do
nothing but sleep and cry, and cry and sleep; no wonder
you have tired Archie’s patience out.”
“I have not tired Archie out.
Oh, I wish he was here! I wish he was here!”
“He will be back in five or
six weeks, unless Marion persuades him to go to the
Mediterranean—and, as the Admiral is so
fond of the sea, that move is not unlikely.”
“Please go away.”
“I shall be only too happy to do so.”
Now it happened that the footman,
in taking in the mail, had noticed the letter for
Sophy, and commented on it in the kitchen; and every
servant in the house had been glad for the joy it would
bring to the lonely, sick woman. So there was
nothing remarkable in her maid saying, as she dressed
her mistress:—
“I hope Mr. Braelands is well;
and though I say it as perhaps I shouldn’t say
it, we was all pleased at your getting Master’s
letter this morning. We all hope it will make
you feel brighter and stronger, I’m sure.”
“The letter was Madame’s letter, not mine,
Leslie.”
“Indeed, it was not, ma’am.
Alexander said himself, and I heard him, ‘there
is a long letter for Mrs. Archibald this morning,’
and we were all that pleased as never was.”
“Are you sure, Leslie?”
“Yes, I am sure.”
“Go down-stairs and ask Alexander.”
Leslie went and came back immediately
with Alexander’s positive assertion that the
letter was directed to Mrs. Archibald Braelands,
Sophy made no answer, but there was a swift and remarkable
change in her appearance and manner. She put
her physical weakness out of her consideration, and
with a flush on her cheeks and a flashing light in
her eyes, she went down to the parlour. Madame
had a caller with her, a lady of not very decided
position, who was therefore eager to please her patron;
but Sophy was beyond all regard for such conventionalities
as she had been ordered to observe. She took no
notice of the visitor, but going straight to Madame,
she said:—
“You took my letter this morning.
You had no right to take it; you had no right to read
it; you had no right to make up lies from it and come
to my bedside with them. Give me my letter.”
Madame turned to her visitor.
“You see this impossible creature!” she
cried. “She demands from me a letter that
never came.” “It did come.
You have my letter. Give it to me.”
“My dear Sophy, go to your room.
You are not in a fit state to see any one.”
“Give me my letter. At
least, let me see the letter that came.”
“I shall do nothing of the kind.
If you choose to suspect me, you must do so.
Can I make your husband write to you?”
“He did write to me.”
“Mrs. Stirling, do you wonder
now at my son’s running away from his home?”
“Indeed I am fairly astonished at what I see
and hear.”
“Sophy, you foolish woman, do
not make any greater exhibit of yourself that you
have done. For heaven’s sake, go to your
own room. I have only my own letter, and I told
you all of importance in it.”
“Every servant in the house
knows that the letter was mine.”
“What the servants know is nothing
to me. Now, Sophy, I will stand no more of this;
either you leave the room, or Mrs. Stirling and I will
do so. Remember that you have betrayed yourself.
I am not to blame.”
“What do you mean, Madame?”
“I mean that you may have hallucinations,
but that you need not exhibit them to the world.
For my son’s sake, I demand that you go to your
room.”
“I want my letter. For
God’s sake, have pity on me, and give me my
letter!”
Madame did not answer, but she took
her friend by the arm and they left the room together.
In the hall Madame saw a servant, and she said blandly—
“Go and tell Leslie to look
after her mistress, she is in the parlour. And
you may also tell Leslie that if she allows her to
come down again in her present mood, she will be dismissed.”
“Poor thing!” said Mrs.
Stirling. “You must have your hands full
with her, Madame. Nobody had any idea of such
a tragedy as this though I must say I have heard many
wonder about the lady’s seclusion.”
“You see the necessity for it.
However, we do not wish any talk on the subject.”
Slowly it came to Sophy’s comprehension
that she had been treated like an insane woman, and
her anger, though quiet, was of that kind that means
action of some sort. She went to her room, but
it was only to recall the wrong upon wrong, the insult
upon insult she had received.
“I will go away from it all,”
she said. “I will go away until Archie
returns. I will not sleep another night under
the same roof with that wicked woman. I will
stay away till I die, ere I will do it.”
Usually she had little strength for
much movement, but at this hour she felt no physical
weakness. She made Leslie bring her a street costume
of brown cloth, and she carefully put into her purse
all the money she had. Then she ordered the carriage
and rode as far as her aunt Kilgour’s.
“Come for me in an hour, Thomas,” she said,
and then she entered the shop.
“Aunt, I am come back to you.
Will you let me stay with you till Archie gets home?
I can bide yon dreadful old woman no longer.”
“Meaning Madame Braelands?”
“She is just beyond all things.
This morning she has kept a letter that Archie wrote
me; and she has told me a lot of lies in its place.
I’m not able to thole her another hour.”
“I’ll tell you what, Sophy,
Madame was here since I saw you, and she says you
are neither to be guided nor endured I don’t
know who to believe.”
“Oh! aunt, aunt, you know well
I wouldn’t tell you a lie. I am so miserable!
For God’s sake, take me in!”
“I’d like to, Sophy, but I’m not
free to do so.”
“You’re putting Madame’s
bit of siller and the work she’s promised you
from the Glamis girl before my heart-break. Oh,
how can you?”
“Sophy, you have lived with
me, and I saw you often dissatisfied and unreasonable
for nothing at all.”
“I was a bit foolish lassie
then. I am a poor, miserable, sick woman now.”
“You have no need to be poor,
and miserable, and sick. I won’t encourage
you to run away from your home and your duty.
At any rate, bide where you are till your husband
comes back. I would be wicked to give you any
other advice.”
“You mean that you won’t let me come and
stay with you?”
“No, I won’t. I would be your worst
enemy if I did.”
“Then good-bye. You will
maybe be sorry some day for the ‘No’ you
have just said.”
She went slowly out of the store,
and Griselda was very unhappy, and called to her to
come back and wait for her carriage. She did not
heed or answer, but walked with evident purpose down
a certain street. It led her to the railway station,
and she went in and took a ticket for Edinburgh.
She had hardly done so when the train came thundering
into the station, she stepped into it, and in a few
minutes was flying at express rate to her destination.
She had relatives in Edinburgh, and she thought she
knew their dwelling place, having called on them with
her Aunt Kilgour when they were in that city, just
previous to her marriage. But she found that
they had removed, and no one in the vicinity knew
to what quarter of the town. She was too tired
to pursue inquiries, or even to think any more that
day, and she went to a hotel and tried to rest and
sleep. In the morning she remembered that her
mother’s cousin, Jane Anderson, lived in Glasgow
at some number in Monteith Row. The Row was not
a long one, even if she had to go from house to house
to find her relative. So she determined to go
on to Glasgow.
She felt ill, strangely ill; she was
in a burning fever and did not know it. Yet she
managed to get into the proper train, and to retain
her consciousness for sometime afterwards, ere she
succumbed to the inevitable consequences of her condition.
Before the train reached its destination, however,
she was in a desperate state, and the first action
of the guard was to call a carriage and send her to
a hospital.
After this kindness had been done,
Sophy was dead to herself and the world for nearly
three weeks. She remembered nothing, she knew
nothing, she spoke only in the most disconnected and
puzzling manner. For her speech wandered between
the homely fisher life of her childhood and the splendid
social life of Braelands. Her personality was
equally perplexing. The clothing she wore was
of the finest quality; her rings, and brooch, and
jewelled watch, indicated wealth and station; yet her
speech, especially during the fever, was that of the
people, and as she began to help herself, she had
little natural actions that showed the want of early
polite breeding. No letter or card, no name or
address of any kind, was found on her person; she
appeared to be as absolutely lost as a stone dropped
into the deep sea.
And when she came to herself and realised
where she was, and found out from her attendant the
circumstances under which she had been brought to
the hospital, she was still more reticent. For
her first thought related to the annoyance Archie
would feel at her detention in a public hospital;
her second, to the unmerciful use Madame would make
of the circumstance. She could not reason very
clearly, but her idea was to find her cousin and gain
her protection, and then, from that more respectable
covett, to write to her husband. She might admit
her illness—indeed, she would be almost
compelled to do that, for she had fallen away so much,
and had had her hair cut short during the height of
the fever—but Archie and Madame must not
know that she had been in a public hospital.
For fisher-people have a singular dislike to public
charity of any kind; they help one another. And,
to Sophy’s intelligence, the hospital episode
was a disgrace that not even her insensibility could
quite excuse.
Several weeks passed in that long,
spotless, white room full of suffering, before Sophy
was able to stand upon her feet, before indeed she
began to realise the passage of time, and the consequences
which must have followed her long absence and silence.
But all her efforts at writing were failures.
The thought she wished to express slipped off into
darkness as soon as she tried to write it; her vision
failed her, her hands failed her; she could only sink
back upon her pillow and lie inert and almost indifferent
for hours afterwards. And as the one letter she
wished to write was to Archie, she could not depute
it to any one else. Besides, the nurse would
tell where she was, and that was a circumstance
she must at all hazards keep to herself. It had
been hot July weather when she was first placed on
her hard, weary bed of suffering, it was the end of
September when she was able to leave the hospital.
Her purse with its few sovereigns in it was returned
to her, and the doctor told her kindly, if she had
any friends in the world, to go at once to their care.
“You have talked a great deal
of the sea and the boats,” he said; “get
close to the sea if you can; it is perhaps the best
and the only thing for you.”
She thanked him and answered:
“I am going to the Fife coast. I have friends
there, I think.” She put out a little wasted
hand, and he clasped it with a sigh.
“So young, so pretty, so good,”
he said to the nurse, as they stood watching her walk
very feebly and unsteadily away.
“I will give her three months
at the longest, if she has love and care. I will
give her three weeks—nay, I will say three
days, if she has to care for herself, or if any particular
trouble come to her.”
Then they turned from the window,
and Sophy hired a cab and went to Monteith Row to
try and find her friends. She wanted to write
to her husband and ask him to come for her. She
thought she could do this best from her cousin’s
home. “I will give her a bonnie ring or
two, and I will tell her the whole truth, and she
will be sure to stand by me, for there is nothing
wrong to stand by, and blood is aye thicker than water.”
And then her thoughts wandered on to a contingency
that brought a flush of pain to her cheeks. “Besides,
maybe Archie might have an ill thought put into his
head, and then the doctors and nurses in the hospital
could tell him what would make all clear.”
She went through many of the houses, inquiring for
Ellen Montgomery, but could not find her, and she
was finally obliged to go to a hotel and rest.
“I will take the lave of the houses in the morning,”
she thought, “it is aye the last thing that
is the right thing; everybody finds that out.”
That evening, however, something happened
which changed all her ideas and intentions. She
went into the hotel parlour and sat down; there were
some newspapers on the table, and she lifted one.
It was an Edinburgh paper, but the first words her
eyes fell on was her husband’s name. Her
heart leaped up at the sight of it, and she read the
paragraph. Then the paper dropped from her hands.
She felt that she was going to faint, and by a supreme
effort of will she recalled her senses and compelled
them to stay and suffer with her. Again, and then
again, she read the paragraph, unable at first to
believe what she did read, for it was a notice, signed
by her husband, advising the world in general that
she had voluntarily left his home, and that he would
no longer be responsible for any debt she might contract
in his name. To her childlike, ignorant nature,
this public exposure of her was a final act.
She felt that it was all the same as a decree of divorce.
“Archie had cast her off; Madame had at last
parted them.” For an hour she sat still
in a very stupour of despair.
“But something might yet be
done; yes, something must be done. She would
go instantly to Fife; she would tell Archie everything.
He could not blame her for being sick and beyond reason
or knowledge. The doctors and nurses of the hospital
would certify to the truth of all she said.”
Ah! she had only to look in a mirror to know that her
own wasted face and form would have been testimony
enough.
That night she could not move, she
had done all that it was possible for her to do that
day; but on the morrow she would be rested and she
might trust herself to the noise and bustle of the
street and railway. The day was well on before
she found strength to do this; but at length she found
herself on the direct road to Largo, though she could
hardly tell how it had been managed. As she approached
the long chain of Fife fishing-villages, she bought
the newspaper most widely read in them; and, to her
terror and shame, found the same warning to honest
folk against her. She was heartsick. With
this barrier between Archie and herself, how could
she go to Braelands? How could she face Madame?
What mockery would be made of her explanations?
No, she must see Archie alone. She must tell
him the whole truth, somewhere beyond Madame’s
contradiction and influence. Whom should she go
to? Her aunt Kilgour had turned her away, even
before this disgrace. Her cousin Isobel’s
husband had asked her not to come to his house and
make loss and trouble for him. If she went direct
to Braelands, and Archie happened to be out of the
house, Madame would say such things of her before
every one as could never be unsaid. If she went
to a hotel, she would be known, and looked at, and
whispered about, and maybe slighted. What must
she do? Where could she see her husband best?
She was at her wit’s end. She was almost
at the end of her physical strength and consciousness.
And in this condition, two men behind her began to
talk to the rustle of their turning newspapers.
“This is a queer-like thing
about Braelands and his wife,” said one.
“It is a very bad thing.
If the wife has gane awa’, she has been driven
awa’ by bad usage. There is an old woman
at Braelands that is as evil-hearted as if she had
slipped out o’ hell for a few years. Traill’s
girl was good and bonnie; she was too good, or she
would have held her ain side better.”
“That may be; but there is a
reason deeper than that. The man is wanting to
marry the Glamis girl. He has already began a
suit for divorce, I hear. Man, man, there is
always a woman at the bottom of every sin and trouble!”
Then they began to speak of the crops
and the shooting, and Sophy listened in vain for more
intelligence. But she had heard enough. Her
soul cried out against the hurry and shame of the steps
taken in the matter. “So cruel as Archie
is!” she sighed. “He might have looked
for me! He might have found me even in that awful
hospital! He ought to have done so, and taken
me away and nursed me himself! If he had loved
me! If he had loved me, he would have done these
things!”. Despair chilled her very blood.
She had a thought of going to Braelands, even if she
died on its threshold; and then suddenly she remembered
Janet Binnie.
As Janet’s name came to her
mind, the train stopped at Largo, and she slipped
out among the hurrying crowd and took the shortest
road to Pittendurie. It was then nearly dark,
and the evening quite chill and damp; but there was
now a decisive end before the dying woman. “She
must reach Janet Binnie, and then leave all to her.
She would bring Archie to her side. She would
be sufficient for Madame. If this only could
be managed while she had strength to speak, to explain,
to put herself right in Archie’s eyes, then
she would be willing and glad to die.”
Step by step, she stumbled forward, full of unutterable
anguish of heart, and tortured at every movement by
an inability to get breath enough to carry her forward.
At last, at last, she came in sight
of Janet’s cottage. The cliff terrified
her; but she must get up it, somehow. And as she
painfully made step after step, a light shone through
the open door and seemed to give her strength and
welcome. Janet had been spending the evening with
her daughter, and had sat with her until near her bedtime.
She was doing her last household duties, and the last
of all was to close the house-door. When she
went to do this, a little figure crouched on the door-step,
two weak hands clasped her round the knees, and the
very shadow of a thin, pitiful voice sobbed:—
“Janet! Take me in, Janet!
Take me in to die! I’ll not trouble you
long—it is most over, Janet!”