THE BROKEN TRYST.
“I sit on my creepie, and spin
at my wheel,
And I think on the laddie that lo’ed me sae
weel;
He had but ae sixpence, he brake it in twa,
And gied me the hauf o’ t when he gaed awa’.
He said, think na lang lassie tho’ I gang
awa’.
I’ll come and see you in spite o’
them a’”
—Logie
O Buchan.
“I am going to be ill,”
said Mary, with trembling lips, “I feel as if
I were walking into a great darkness, Maggie.”
They were driving toward Drumloch
in the early morning, and there was that haunted,
terrified look in her eyes, with which a soul apprehensive
of suffering and danger bespeaks the help and sympathy
of those near to it. Maggie had seen the look
before; the little children dying upon her knees had
pierced her heart with it. She remembered it,
even in the eyes of strong men driven by a sense of
duty or humanity into the jaws of death. Mary
took her hand and clung to it; and let her head fall
helplessly upon Maggie’s breast. When they
reached home, she had almost to be carried to her
room, and servants were sent off on fleet horses for
medical aid.
“A bad case of inflammation
of the lungs,” was the doctor’s verdict.
“It is likely to be a serious business, Miss
Promoter, and Miss Campbell’s friends should
be informed at once of her condition.”
Mary would not be spoken to on the
subject. “Her uncle,” she said, “was
her only friend. In his last letter he had told
her to send communications to the Hotel Neva at Riga.
It was uncertain when he would get there. And
what was the use of alarming him, when he was too far
away to help her?” Maggie perceived from the
first moment of Mary’s conviction of danger and
suffering, that the girl had flung herself upon her
love and care. With all her soul she accepted
the charge. She would have held herself as unworthy
to live if she had had one moment’s reluctance
in the matter. In strong physical anguish it
is almost impossible to be generous and self-forgetting,
and Mary, in the first hours of acute, lacerating agony,
forgot all things but her ever-present need of relief.
Early in the second day the fever reached the brain,
and her talk became incoherent. It required all
Maggie’s firm strength and tender love to control
the suffering girl.
And it was nearly time for her tryst
with Allan. On the twenty-ninth of August he
had bidden her farewell; two years from that day he
had promised to be in Pittenloch. She believed
he would keep his promise; but how was she to keep
hers? Only by being recreant to every sentiment
of honor, gratitude and humanity. “And
if I could be that false to Mary Campbell, I wad weel
deserve that Allan should be false to me,” she
said. She had never read Carlyle, never heard
of him, but she arrived at his famous dictum, as millions
of good men and women have done, by the simplest process
of conscientious thought: “I’ll do
the duty that lies close by my hand and heart, and
leave the rest to One wiser than I am.”
She remembered also that she could
write to Allan. There was a bare chance that
he might get the letter, especially if he should linger
a few days in Fife. But although she was ignorant
of the action which David had taken with regard to
Janet Caird, she never thought of addressing the letter
to her care. For a moment she hesitated between
Willie Johnson and Elder Mackelvine, but finally chose
the former, for Willie and Allan had been great friends,
and she was certain if Allan went to Pittenloch he
would not leave the village without seeing his old
boat mate. It was a loving, modest little letter,
explaining the case in which she found herself, and
begging him to come to Drumloch and say a word of kindness
to her. When she folded and sealed it, she thought
with pleasure of Allan’s astonishment and delight
at her improvement; and many an hour she passed, calculating,
as well as she could, the distance, the time, and the
chances of Allan receiving her message.
As it happened, he just missed it;
but it was Maggie’s own fault. If she had
trusted it to the Drumloch mail-bag and servant it
would have reached Dalry on the twenty-ninth; and
on that day Willie Johnson was in the post-village,
and received several letters lying there for himself
and others in Pittenloch. But when, in our anxiety,
we trust to our own judgment, instead of to that something
which, for lack of a better name, we call good fortune,
we are usually, and perhaps justly, deserted by good
fortune. Maggie feared the footman would shirk
her solitary letter, and perhaps keep it until his
regular visit to the post the following day; so she
gave it to the doctor, earnestly asking him to post
it as he passed through the town. And the doctor
fully intended to do so, but he was met by an urgent
call for help; he forgot it then; he did not pass near
the post-office for two days, and the two days might
as well have been two months, for it was fully that
time before Willie Johnson received his next letters.
Mary was exceedingly ill on the twenty-ninth.
Her soul had reached the very border-land of being.
In the dim, still room she lay, painfully breathing,
faintly murmuring words unintelligible and very far
away. But as Maggie sat motionless beside her,
sometimes hopelessly watching, sometimes softly praying,
she could not help thinking of the beach at Pittenloch,
of the fresh salt air, and the sea coming in with the
wind, and the motion and sparkle and sunshine, and
the tall, handsome man she loved looking with sorrowful
longing for her. And though she never grudged
Mary one moment of the joy she was sacrificing, yet
her tears dropped upon the clay-like hands she clasped
in her own; for human love and human hopes are very
sweet, never perhaps more sweet than in the very hour
in which we yield them up to some noble duty, or some
cruel fatality.
And Maggie mourned most of all, because
Allan would think her faithless; would judge her from
the wicked, envious tongues that had driven her from
her home; and it is always the drop of injustice in
sorrow that makes sorrow intolerable. Only, Maggie
trusted! In spite of many a moment’s fear
and doubt she trusted! Trusted God, and trusted
Allan, and trusted that somehow out of sorrow would
come joy; and as she stepped softly about her loving
cares, or watched, almost breathlessly, Mary passing
Death’s haggard hills, she often whispered to
herself part of a little poem they had learned together:
“I will try to hope and to trust
in God!
In the excellent Glory His abode
Hath been from of old; thence looketh
He,
And surely He cannot help seeing
me.
And I think perhaps He thinks of
me;
For my heart is with Him continually.”
In the meantime, Allan, like all true
lovers, had outrun the clock to keep his tryst.
On the evening of the 28th of August a small steamer
cast anchor at Pittenloch pier. She had one passenger,
Allan Campbell. He had been waiting two days
in Leith, but no boat from Pittenloch having arrived
during that time, he had hired a small steamer to run
up the coast with him. He landed in the evening,
just about the time the lamps in the cottages were
being lit; and he looked eagerly toward the Promoter
cottage for some such cheering sign. As he looked,
the window became red, and he leaped off the boat
in a fever of joyful expectation. Surely Maggie
would be watching! The arrival of a strange steamer
must have told her who was coming. Every moment
he expected to see her at the open door. As he
neared it, the turfs sent up a ruddy glow, and touched
the whole interior with warm color. The entrance
was light, but the house place was empty. Smiling
to himself, he went in, and stood upon the snow-white
hearth, and glanced round the dear, familiar room.
Nothing was changed. In a moment or two he heard
a step; he looked eagerly toward it, and a very pleasant-looking
old woman entered.
“I thocht it wad be you, Maister
Campbell. Welcome hame, sir! I’ll mak
you a cup o’ tea anon, for the kettle’s
boiling, and a’ things ready.”
“Thank you. I don’t
remember—I suppose Mistress Caird has left?”
“Sent awa’, sir—not before
she deserved it.”
“And you are in her place? I think I have
seen you before?”
“Nae doot, sir. I’m Mysie Jardine—the
Widow Jardine, sir.”
“And Maggie? Is she near by? At home?
Where is she?”
“There is nane ken that, sir.”
“What do you mean, Mysie?”
“Maggie’s gane awa’, sir.”
“Maggie gone away! Where to?”
“’Deed, sir, I’d
be fain to ken where to—but I hae the house
for the care o’ things; and David Promoter left
word that if I took up Maggie’s name in my lips,
I wad be to leave instanter; sae I’ll say naething
at a’. Elder Mackelvine kens a’ that
anybody kens, and when you hae had a drap o’
tea, you can ask him a’ the questions you like
to.”
“Never mind tea, I am going at once to Mackelvine’s.”
“I’ll be to get your room
ready, sir; and put a bit o’ fire in it, and
the like o’ that?”
“Yes, I shall come back here.”
He felt stunned, and glad to get into the fresh air.
Maggie gone! He could hardly believe the words
he had heard. Sorrow, anxiety, keen disappointment,
amazement, possessed him; but even in those moments
of miserable uncertainty he had not one hard or wrong
thought of Maggie. Elder Mackelvine’s cottage
was quite at the other end of the village, and he
was walking rapidly down the shingle toward it, when
he met Willie Johnson.
“I heard tell you were here,
Maister Campbell, and I cam’ instanter to meet
you, sir. You’ll hae to bide wi’ us
to-night, for a’ is changed at the Promoters.”
“So I see, Willie.”
Then mindful of Maggie’s good name, and of the
fact that their betrothal was unknown, he said, with
as much of his old manner as he could assume, “What
has come to the Promoters? I hope some good fortune?”
“I hope that, too; but there’s
nane can say, if it be good or ill. Davie, you
will dootless hae heard tell o’?”
“I have heard nothing from him for two years.”
“Then your ears will be like
to tingle wi’ the news; for he has set himsel’
in a’ the high seats in Glasca’ College;
and folks talk o’ naething less than a Glasca’
pu’pit for him; and you ken, it tak’s doctors
in divinity to stand up afore a Glasca’ congregation.
Elder Mackelvine never wearies o’ talking anent
him. For mysel’, I canna say I ever likit
him o’er weel; and since puir Maggie gaed awa’,
I hae ta’en little pleasure in the honor he
has done oor village.”
“Maggie gone away! Where to?”
“Nane can tell. She had
a sair trial wi’ yonder auld harridan her brother
brought to bide wi’ her.”
“I did not like the woman, Willie.”
“Like her? Wha wad like
her but the blackhearted and the black-tongued?
She gied the girl’s gude name awa’ to win
hersel’ a bit honor wi’ auld wives, and
even the minister at first was against Maggie; sae
when she couldna thole her trouble langer, she went
to her brither, and folks say, he gied her the cold
shoulder likewise. But when four months had gane
he cam’ here oot o’ his wits nearly, and
sent Janet Caird hame wi’ a word, and the care
o’ the house was put on Mysie Jardine. Davie
hasna set e’en on his cottage, nor foot in it,
since; nor sent any word to his auld frien’s—though
as to frien’s it is naething less than a professor
he changes hats or the time o’ day with noo,
they tell me; and I can weel believe it, for he aye
had the pride o’ a Nebuchadnezzar in him.”
Elder Mackelvine in a measure corroborated
Willie Johnson’s statements. Maggie had
been “hardly spoken of,” he admitted; but
“I dinna approve o’ the way oot o’
trouble that she took,” he added sternly.
“Lasses ought to sit still and thole wrang,
until He undertakes their case. If Maggie had
bided in her hame a few weeks langer, He wad hae brought
oot her righteousness as the noon-day. There
was a setting o’ public feeling in the right
direction followed close on her leaving, and then cam’
Dr. Balmuto wi’ searchings, and examinations,
and strong reproofs, for a’, and sundry; and
I didna escape mysel’;” said the elder
in a tone of injury.
“What could they say wrong of
Maggie Promoter?” asked Allan, with flashing
eyes.
“Ou, ay, a better girl ne’er
broke her cake; but folks said this, and that, and
to tell the even-down truth, they put your ain name,
sir, wi’ hers—and what but shame
could come o’ your name and her name in the same
breath?”
“‘Shame!’ Who dared
to use my name to shame hers with? Let me tell
you, elder, and you may tell every man and woman in
Pittenloch, that if I could call Maggie Promoter my
wife, I would count it the greatest honor and happiness
God could give me. And if I find her to-morrow,
and she will marry me, I will make her Mrs. Allan
Campbell the same hour.”
“You are an honorable young
man, there’s my hand, and I respect you wi’
a’ my heart. Gudewife, mak’ us a
cup o’ tea, and put some herring to toast.
Maister Campbell will eat wi’ me this night,
and we’ hae a bed to spare likewise, if he will
tak’ it.”
Allan gratefully ate supper with the
elder, but he preferred to occupy his old room in
the Promoter cottage. “I have a kind of
right there,” he said, with a sorrowful smile,
“I hired it for two years, and my term is not
quite out yet.”
“And David told me also, that
whenever you came, this year, or any year, to gie
you the key o’ it. You will find a’
your books and pictures untouched; for when Dr. Balmuto
heard tell what trouble Maggie had had to keep Janet
Caird oot o’ it, he daured her to put her foot
inside; and Davie cam’ himsel’ not long
after, and took her back to Dron Point in a whiff
and a hurry, wi’ nae words aboot it.”
“I am afraid David is much to
blame about his sister. He should have let Maggie
stay with him.”
“I’ll no hear David Promoter
blamed. He explained the hale circumstances o’
the case to me, and I dinna think the charge o’
a grown, handsome girl like Maggie was comformable,
or to be thocht o’. A man that is climbing
the pu’pit stairs, canna hae any woman hanging
on to him. It’s no decent, it’s no
to be expectit. You ken yoursel’ what women
are, they canna be trusted wi’ out bit and bridle,
and David Promoter, when he had heard a’ that
Maggie had to complain o’, thocht still that
she needed over-sight, and that it was best for her
to be among her ain people. He sent her back
wi’ a letter to Dr. Balmuto, and he told her
to bide under the doctor’s speech and ken, and
the girl ought to hae done what she was bid to do;
and so far I dinna excuse her; and I dinna think her
brother is to hae a word o’ blame. A divinity
student has limitations, sir; and womenfolk are clean
outside o’ them.”
The elder was not a man who readily
admitted petty faults in his own sex. He thought
women had a monopoly of them. He was quite ready
to confess that their tongues had been “tongues
o’ fire;” but then, he said, “Maggie
had the ‘Ordinances’ and the ‘Promises,’
and she should hae waited wi’ mair patience.
Davie was doing weel to himsel’ and going to
be an honor to her, and to the village, and the country,
and the hale Kirk o’ Scotland, and it was the
heighth o’ unreason to mak’ him accountable
for trouble that cam’ o’ women’s
tongues.”
That night Allan slept again in his
old room; but we cannot bring back the old feelings
by simply going back to the old places. Besides,
nothing was just the same. His room wanted, he
knew not what; he could not hear the low murmur of
Maggie’s voice as she talked to her brother;
or the solemn sound of David’s, as he read the
Exercise. Footfalls, little laughs, slight movements,
the rustle of garments, so many inexpressible keys
to emotion were silent. He was too tired also
to lay any sensible plans for finding Maggie; before
he knew it, he had succumbed to his physical and mental
weariness, and fallen fast asleep.
He kept the boat waiting two days
in Pittenloch, but on the morning of the third sorrowfully
turned his back upon the place of his disappointment.
He felt that he could see no one, nor yet take any
further step until he had spoken with David Promoter;
and late the same night he was in the Candleriggs
Street of Glasgow. He was so weary and faint that
David’s sonorous, strong, “come in,”
startled him. The two men looked steadily at
each other a moment, a look on both sides full of suspicion
and inquiry. Allan was the first to speak.
He had taken in at a glance the tall sombre grandeur
of David’s appearance, his spiritual look, the
clear truthfulness of his piercing eyes, and without
reasoning he walked forward and said, somewhat sadly,
“Well, David?”
“I do not know if it is well
or ill, Mr. Campbell, and I will not shake hands on
uncertain grounds, sir. Ken you where my sister
is?”
“How can you wrong me so, David
Promoter? But that would be a small wrong in
comparison—how can you shame Maggie by such
a question of me? Since we parted in Pittenloch
I have neither seen nor heard from her. Oh, Maggie!
Maggie!”
He could control himself no longer.
As he paced the small room, the tears stood in his
eyes, and he locked and unlocked his hands in a passionate
effort to relieve his emotion. David looked at
him with a stern curiosity. “You are mair
than needfully anxious, sir. Do you think Maggie
Promoter has no brother? What is Maggie to you?”
“Everything! Everything!
Life is hopeless, worthless, without Maggie. She
is my promised wife. I would give every shilling
I have in the world rather than lose her. I would
throw the whole of my world behind me, and go into
the fishing boats for her. I love her, sir, as
you never can love any woman. Do you think I
would have given Maggie a heartache, or let Maggie
slip beyond my ken, for all the honor and glory in
the world, or for a pulpit as high as the Tower of
Babel?”
“Dinna confound things, Mr.
Campbell. Maggie, and the pulpit, and the Tower
o’ Babel are a’ different. If you
love Maggie sae blindly as a’ that, whatna for
did you leave her then? Why didn’t you speak
to me anent the matter? Let me tell you, that
was your plain duty, and you are noo supping the broo
you hae brewed for yoursel’.”
David was under powerful emotion,
and culture disappeared; “he had got to his
Scotch;” for though a man may speak many languages,
he has only one mother tongue; and when the heart
throbs, and glows, and burns, he goes back to it.
“Why didna you speak wi’ me?” he
asked again, as he let his hand fall upon the table
to emphasize the inquiry.
“I will tell you why. Because
Maggie loved you, and thought for you, and would not
put one dark drop into your cup of happiness.
Because she was afraid that if you knew I loved her,
you would think I had tried to help you from that
motive, and so, refuse the help. Because the dear
girl would not wound even your self complacency.
Do not think I am ashamed of her, or ashamed of loving
her. I told my father, I told the only female
relative I have, how dear she was to me. My father
asked me to test my love by two years’ travel
and absence. I did so to convince him, not because
I doubted myself. Do you know where Maggie is?
If you do, tell me, I have a right to see her.”
David went to a big Bible lying on
a small table, and took from among its leaves three
letters. “I have had these from her at different
times. Two you see are posted in Glasgow, the
last received was posted three weeks ago, from Portree,
in Skye. She says she is with friends, and doing
well, and you have but to read the letters to understand
she is with those who are more than kind to her.
There are few women in Scotland that could write a
letter like her last. It shows a mind well opened,
and the pen o a ready writer.”
“May I have them?”
“Since you make so great a claim
on Maggie, you may; but why did she not write to you,
if you were trothplighted?”
“Because it was fully understood
there was to be no communication of any kind between
us for two years. That much I owed to the best
of fathers. Also, as you know, Maggie has learned
to write since we parted. But I ought to have
made surer provision for her happiness. I am only
rightly punished for trusting her where I did.”
“You trusted her with her ain
brother, Mr. Campbell. If Maggie had done as
she should hae done—”
“Maggie has done perfectly right.
I am sure of that. I could swear to it.”
“Sir, we will keep to lawful
language. Christian gentlemen don’t need
oaths. I say Maggie should have gone to Dr. Balmuto
when I sent her.”
“I do not know the circumstances,
but I say she ought not to have gone to Dr. Balmuto.
I am sure she only did whatever was wise and womanly.”
“There is no use in reasoning
with one who talks without knowledge. If I get
any information about Maggie, or from her, I will send
it to your address. I love Maggie. The lassie
aye loved me. She wouldna thank you to speak
sae sharply to me. She will tell you some day
that I did all that could be expectit of me.”
“Forgive me, David. I feel
almost broken-hearted. I am irritable also for
want of food. I have not eaten since early this
morning.”
“That is not right, sir.
Sit down, in a few minutes you shall have all that
is needful.”
“No, no; I must go home.
Half an hour will take me there. Shake hands,
David. Whatever differences we may have, you,
at least, understand fully that I never could wrong
your sister.”
“I am glad to give you my hand,
sir. I owe you more than can be told. I
had not been where I am to-day but for you.”
“And if there is anything more needed?”
“There is nothing more, sir.
I have paid back all I borrowed. I have been
fortunate above my fellows. I owe you only the
gratitude I freely and constantly pay.”
Allan scarcely understood him; he
grasped the hand David offered him, then walked to
Argyle Street and called a cab; in half an hour, he
was in his own rooms in the Blytheswood Square house.
His advent caused a little sensation; the housekeeper
almost felt it to be a wrong. “In the very
thick of the cleaning!” she exclaimed; “every
bit of furniture under linen, and all the silver put
by in flannel. Miss Campbell said she wasna coming
until the end o’ September; and as for Mr. Allan,
every one thought he was at a safe distance.
We’ll hae to hurry wi’ the paint work noo,
and if there’s one thing mair than anither no
to be bided it’s hurrying up what should be
taken pains wi’.”
Generally Allan would have been conscious
of the disapproval his visit evoked, and he would
have reconciled the servants to any amount of trouble
by apologies and regrets; but at this time his mind
was full of far more personal and serious affairs.
He had been inclined to think the very best of Maggie,
to be quite certain that she had been detained by circumstances
absolutely uncontrollable by her; but after reading
again and again her letters to David, he did think
she ought to have had some written explanation of
her absence waiting for him. She knew he would
certainly see either Willie Johnson or Elder Mackelvine,
and he felt that she might —if she wished—have
spared him much anxiety and disappointment.
He longed now to see his father; he
determined to tell him the truth, and be guided by
his advice. But John Campbell’s last letter
to his son had been dated from Southern Russia, and
it was scarcely likely he would be in Glasgow for
three weeks. However, Mary Campbell was at Drumloch,
and he thought as he sipped his coffee, that it would
probably be the best thing to go there, rest for a
day or two with his cousin, and if he found her sympathetic,
ask her help in his perplexity.
He called at the office on his way
to the railway station, and he was met by the manager
with an exclamation of peculiar satisfaction.
“No one could be more welcome at this hour,
Mr. Allan,” he said; “we were all longing
for you. There is bad news from Russia.”
“My father?”
“Is very ill. He took a
severe cold in a night journey over the Novgorod Steppe,
and he is prostrate with rheumatic fever at Riga.
I had just told Luggan to be ready to leave by to-night’s
train for Hull. I think that will be the quickest
route.”
“I can catch the noon train.
I will call in an hour for money and advices, and
go myself.”
“That is what I expected as
soon as I saw you. Have you heard that Miss Campbell
is very ill?”
“No. Is she at Drumloch? Who is caring
for her?”
“She is at Drumloch. Dr.
Fleming goes from Glasgow every day to consult with
the Ayr doctor. Her housekeeper, Mrs. Leslie,
is an old servant, she was with Miss Campbell’s
mother; forbye, Fleming says, she has with her a young
lady friend who never leaves the sick room night or
day.”
“I was just going out to Drumloch,
but that is now neither possible nor desirable.
I could be of no use to Miss Campbell, I can be everything
to my father.”
Allan had only one call to make.
It was upon a middle-aged man, who had long been employed
by their house in affairs demanding discernment and
secrecy. Few words passed between them. Allan
laid a small likeness of Maggie on the table with
a £100 Bank of England note, and said, “Simon
Fraser, I want you to find that young lady for me.
If you have good news when I return, I will give you
another hundred pounds.”
“Have you any suggestions, Mr. Allan? Is
she in Glasgow?”
“I think so. You might watch churches and
dressmakers.”
“Am I to speak to her?”
“Not a word.”
“Shall I go to the office with reports?”
“No. Keep all information
until I come for it. Remember the lady is worthy
of the deepest respect. On no account suffer her
to discover that you are doing for me what unavoidable
circumstances prevent me from doing myself.”
An hour after this interview Allan
was on his way to Riga. In every life there are
a few sharp transitions. People pass in a moment,
as it were, from one condition to another, and it
seemed to Allan as if he never could be quite the
same again. That intangible, un-namable charm
of a happy and thoughtless youth had suddenly slipped
away from him, and he was sure that at this hour he
looked at things as he could not have looked at them
a week before. And yet extremities always find
men better than they think they are. His love
and his duty set before Allan, he had not put his own
happiness for one moment before his father’s
welfare and relief. Without delay and without
grudging he had answered his call for help and sympathy.
But while he was hurrying on his journey
of love and succor, Maggie was watching in an indescribable
sickness of delayed hope. If Allan got her letter
on the 29th she thought he would surely be at Drumloch
on the 30th. She gave him until the evening.
She invented excuses for his delay for several more
wretched days. Then she resigned all hope of seeing
him. Her letter had missed him, and perhaps he
would never again visit Pittenloch. What a week
of misery she spent! One morning Dr. Fleming turned
her sharply to the light. “Miss Promoter,”
he said, “you are very near ill. Go away
and cry. Take a good cry. It may save you
a deal of suffering. I will stay by Miss Campbell
an hour. Run into the garden, my brave woman,
and have it out with yourself.”
She was thankful to do so. She
wrapped her plaid around her and almost fled to the
thick laurel shrubbery. As she walked there she
cried softly, “Oh, Allan, Allan, Allan, it wasna
my fault, dearie! It wasna Maggie’s fault!
It wasna Maggie’s fault!” Her bit of broken
sixpence hung by a narrow ribbon round her neck.
She laid it in her hand, kissed it, and wept over
it. “He’ll maybe come back to me!
He’ll maybe come back to me! And if he
never comes back I’ll be aye true to him; true
till death to him. He’ll ken it some time!
He’ll ken it some time!” She cried passionately;
she let her quick nature have full way; and sobbed
as she had been used to sob upon the beach of Pittenloch,
or in the coverts of its bleak, black rocks.
The cruelty of the separation, the
doubt, the injustice that must mingle in Allan’s
memory with her, this was what “rent her heart.”
Oh, words of terrible fidelity! And how was she
to conceal, to bear this secret wound? And who
should restore to her the dear face, the voice, the
heart that wrapped her in its love? In that sad
hour how prodigal she was of tender words! Words
which she would perhaps have withheld if Allan had
been by her side. What passionate avowals of
her affection she made, so sweet, so thrilling, that
it would be a kind of profanation to write them.
When she went back to the house she
was weary, but calm. Only hope seemed to have
gone forever. There are melancholy days in which
the sun has no color, and the clouds hang in dark
masses, gray upon darker gray. Life has the same
pallors and glooms; we are weary of ourselves and of
others, we have the sensation of defeat upon defeat,
of hopeless struggles, of mortal languors that no
faith can lift. As Maggie watched that day beside
her friend she felt such prostration. She smiled
scornfully to herself as she remembered that ever
in the novels which she had read the lover and the
hero always appeared in some such moments of extremity
as she had gone through. But Allan had not found
her in the laurel walk, and she did not believe he
would ever try to find her again. Sorrow had not
yet taught her that destiny loves surprises.
About midnight she walked into an
adjoining dressing room and looked out. How cold
and steely the river wound through the brown woods
until it mingled with the ghostly film on the horizon!
Through what cloudy crags,
The moon came rushing like a stag,
With one star like a hound,
behind it! As she watched the
solemn, restless picture, she was called very softly—“Maggie’”
The word was scarce audible, but she
stepped swiftly back, and kneeling by Mary’s
side lifted her wasted hand. The eyes that met
hers had the light of reason in them at last.
“I am awake, Maggie.”
“Yes, dear. Do not talk, you have been
ill; you are getting better.”
Mary smiled. The happiest of
pillows is that which Death has frowned on, and passed
over. “I am really getting well?”
“You are really getting well. Sleep again.”
There was a silence that could almost
be felt; and Maggie sat breathless in it. When
it became too trying, she rose softly and went to the
next room. There was a small table there, and
on it a shaded lamp and a few books. One of them
was turned with its face downward and looked unfamiliar;
she lifted it, and saw on the fly-leaf, Cornelius Fleming,
A.D. 1800. It was a pocket edition of the Alcestis
in English, and the good man had drawn a pencil opposite
some lines, which he doubtless intended Maggie to
read:—
“Manifold are the changes
Which Providence may bring.
Many unhoped for things
God’s power hath brought about.
What seemeth, often happeneth not;
And for unlikely things
God findeth out a way.”
She smiled and laid the little volume
down. “The tide has turned,” she
thought, “and many an ill wind has driven a ship
into a good harbor. I wonder what was the matter
with me this morning!” And she sat quiet with
a new sense of peace in her heart, until the moon
was low in the west, and the far hills stood clear
and garish in the cold white light of morning.
Then Mary called her again. There was a look of
pitiful anxiety on her face; she grasped Maggie’s
hand, and whispered “The 29th? Is it come?”
“Yes, dear.”
“Your tryst, Maggie?”
“I will keep it some other time.”
“Now, Maggie. To-day.
At once. Oh Maggie! Go, go, go! I shall
be ill again if you do not.”
It was useless to reason with her. She began
to cry, to grow feverish.
“I will go then.”
“And you will come back?”
“In three or four days.”
“Spare no money. He will
be waiting. I know it. Haste, Maggie!
Oh dear, you don’t know—oh, be quick,
for my sake.”
Then Maggie told Mrs. Leslie such
facts as were necessary to account for Mary’s
anxiety, and she also urged her to keep the appointment.
“Better late than ever,” she said, “and
you may not be too late; and anyhow the salt air will
do you good, and maybe set you beyond the fit o’
sickness you look o’er like to have.”
So within an hour Maggie was speeding
to the coast of Fife, faintly hoping that Allan might
still be there; “for he must ken by his own heart,”
she thought, “that it would be life or death,
and naething but life or death, that could make me
break a promise I had made to him.”